1 Samuel 18:5-9, Psalm 140
Few things are more difficult to live with than being misunderstood. Sometimes it’s downright unbearable.
When you are misunderstood, you have no defense. And have you noticed that when you are misunderstood, no matter how hard you try to correct the misunderstanding, it usually get worse? You go fully loaded, ready to “set them straight,” and all you do is dig yourself deeper! The harder you work, the worse it gets and the deeper it hurts. Its sting can be paralyzing.
Analyzing Misunderstanding
How do we analyze misunderstanding.
First of all there is an innocent act, or word spoken, or an implication which causes the misunderstanding. What makes it so painful is, most of the time this is done innocently.
Very innocently we do something, or say something, or imply something that is misunderstood and mistakenly interpreted.
As a result of that word, act or implication there is an offense created. You don’t have to mean anything by it, but it was misread and an offense was created.
There was a revival going on. The evangelist was a warm, gracious man. He always had a kind word for everyone. As he was walking with the pastor through the church parking lot there sat a Cadillac. In that Cadillac there was a man who was a paraplegic. He was able to drive that Cadillac because of some special equipment that had been provided by the government. All he saw was a Cadillac and a man sitting in it. So he walked up, slapped the side of the car with his hand and said, “Boy, this sure beats walking, doesn’t it?” He didn’t mean anything by it. He was simply speaking a word of greeting, but it was an offense. Innocently done. Nothing that would have provoked a negative response in other situation, but in this instance it became an offense.
Illustrating Misunderstanding
We are talking about living through misunderstandings. Let me show you a man in the Scriptures who was misunderstood. Look with me at 1 Samuel 18:5-9 READ
David had just finished killing off Goliath, the giant. It’s not something you do every day.
He was just a boy. There were professional soldiers around who couldn’t do anything about the giant. But David, in the power of God, with a sling shot and a handful of smooth stones, killed Goliath.
Now Samuel had already his head with oil and said you are going to be king. He had already announced to his father, “Your son, David, is going to be king.” But learning how to be king also meant learning how to deal with misunderstanding. For you see, Saul, the current king, was a threatened, insecure kind of man. If you ever worked for a man or woman like Saul, you understand what David faced. The slightest irritation caused an enormous sense of insecurity in Saul. As they are coming back from the battle, David has killed Goliath and has put the battle behind him for the day. The women gathered from all the communities and they were in the streets singing with joy and gladness, banging tambourines, playing musical instruments, and they begin shouting,
“Saul has slain His thousands,
And David his ten thousands.”
Oh boy! Saul heard that. It wasn’t just the 9,000 difference that bothered Saul. But he began to think about what was being said. He began to think, “This young man is out to get my job.” He was threatened by him. He said, “What more can he want but the kingdom itself.” And he began to keep an eye on David from that day forward.
You see the slightest irritation created a large amount of insecurity in Saul. David had slain his giant and as they were coming back from the battle the women innocently said something that caused David to be misunderstood. Notice the exaggeration! David wasn’t looking for a kingdom. He just woke up one morning and killed a giant. Saul seeing not only David’s courage, but his popularity, misunderstood him. An innocent and courageous act was incorrectly interpreted so that deep down in Saul’s heart, he was convinced that David was out to get the throne.
Understanding Misunderstanding
Turn with me to Psalm 140. Most Old Testament scholars believe this Psalm was written in response to David’s concern about Saul and his threat. Note how he begins. “Rescue me, O Lord, from evil men; Preserve me from violent men.” You realize he is on the run.
He has to be. Saul has misunderstood him. Saul sees him as an enemy.
The fact was he was not an enemy. He was the musician for the king. He wanted to serve him. But Saul was haunted by what he thought David was after. So in his madness, in his unwillingness to understand, he began to give David a hard time.
Maybe you know something about that where you are, where you work, even at school, home, or even church. There is somebody who misunderstood you. You said something, you did something innocently, but somehow you felt like things have not been the same since.
How do you handle it? Psalm 140 tells us something of how we can handle misunderstanding. There is a pattern that always unfolds, a developing pattern that you can note in this passage.
First of all, there is a sense of vulnerability.
Notice verse 1, “Rescue me, O Lord,” then, “Preserve me” and “Keep me, O Lord” in verse 4. Those are the words of a vulnerable person. By vulnerable I mean defenseless and unprotected. Vulnerability is the first expression of this misery. Being misunderstood invariably catches you off guard; you stumble into it inadvertently.
Then comes the next step: exaggeration. The women said, “David has slain his ten thousands.” Well he hadn’t. He killed a giant. “And Saul his thousands.” Saul was the leader of the army, and undoubtedly he had killed a lot of men. But in the exaggeration things got out of hand. When people misunderstand you, they exaggerate in their mind.
Their imaginations often run wild. Look at what David says they are doing to him in 140:2: “Who devise evil things in their hearts.” That’s exaggeration. They imagine things that are not even factual, that are not the truth. “Who devise evil things in their hearts; They continually stir up wars.”
You feel like you innocently did something, you said something, you implied something
and you were misunderstood. Yet now it has gotten out of hand. Assumptions are made, imaginations run wild, and you have to always be on the defensive from that point on.
When you are the object of a misunderstanding you can see how a person starts off with just a slight misunderstanding. Then it gradually builds up to the place where people begin to believe lies about you. Look at vs. 3, Beyond the fact that there is this sense of vulnerability, this sense of exaggeration, there is something else that gets started.
They begin to talk about you. “They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; Poison of a viper is under their lips.”
Not only do they begin to believe certain lies about you, they begin to talk and share with others certain things. They begin to speak openly about it; they punctuate it in someone else’s mind. They say, “Why I didn’t know that. But let me tell you what I heard.” Just to make it a bit more juicy, they’ll add a little here, stretch it a tad there to make the story really sing. And before long, they’re loving it.
Meanwhile, you sit alone at home. You’re not praying; you’re thinking, “O Lord, what else are they saying?” Now you know why James says the tongue is an organ that can control us. David said, “Poison of a viper is under their lips.”
I read that no creature’s tongue moves faster than a serpent’s. They’re sometimes called “treble-tongued” because their tongues move so fast that they actually look like three tongues at once. David knew what he was talking about.
Listen: the only muscle you need to break down another person’s dignity is the muscle hidden inside your mouth. You can destroy a life with your tongue. I read of a case in which a woman’s suicide note simply read, “They said ...” She never finished. Something “they said” killed her.
Overcoming Misunderstanding
Now once we are misunderstood, what do we do about it? I think it is here that David helps us. Maybe we can pick up something that will help us learn how to react. This is what David did: “I said to the Lord, ‘Thou art my God.’” Notice he said this to the Lord. I suggest that you say it, not just think it. We need to verbalize our allegiance to the living God. There are times I say to the Lord out loud, “Lord, You are mine. I count on You right now.” That’s precisely what David did. I used to try to solve it all. Now, there are times I say, “Lord, take care of that person. I can’t fight him. He’s smarter than I am.
He’s been fighting longer. Besides, I am weary. You do it.”
And you know, He does! I have seen Him do battle. It’s like Leon Lett fighting a six year old kid. It’s as though we have the right, when our enemies encompass us, to say to them, “Watch it, or I’ll tell God on you!” In fact, just before the parting of the Red Sea in that dramatic escape from Pharaoh, General Moses encouraged his people by saying, “The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent!” (Ex. 14:14).
And David wrote, Do not grant, O Lord, the desires of the wicked; Do not promote his evil device, lest they be exalted.” (Vs. 8).
If that were not enough, look how David invited the Lord to finish off his enemies! “As for the head of those who surround me, May the mischief of their lips cover them;” What he’s trying to do to me, Lord, maybe he needs to have it done to him. Now who is he talking to, his wife?; his friend? No, he is saying this to God. You can talk to God that way. God will listen to it and understand. “May burning coals fall upon them; May they be cast into the fire, Into deep pits from which they cannot rise” (140:9-10).
“Lord, put ‘em in the pits, and then put the lid on it, from which they cannot rise.” It’s amazing what you find in the Bible!
Let me tell you, the person who coexists with misunderstanding and bitterness is miserable. These enemies will hound you, nipping at your heels. But when you give the situation over to God and say ~~ “Lord, I am defenseless. I am misunderstood. I am right, but they’ll never believe it. You take over.” ~~ God will perform the most unbelievable feats as He glorifies His name in your life. That’s His specialty.
We grow through misunderstanding. Through it, we come to see the Lord as our defense. You can lie down at night knowing that although the tongue of your accuser might be wagging, God is taking care of the situation Don’t you think maybe some of the misunderstandings we experience in our homes, in our church, or in our workplace, could be handled more if we let God get involved in them?
Do you have some “friend” at school giving you grief? Tell God about him! Is there some individual at work that you can’t handle, no matter what you do? Look, that’s why you have a Savior, a Deliverer. You were born into the family of God, so don’t be content to live like an orphan. Learn to bring your misunderstandings to Him.
I can’t tell you the number of times Patty and I have gone through painful times in our lives. Disarmed and defenseless, we got a firsthand, bitter taste of that painfully familiar paralyzing sting of humanity. We had done what was right, but we were misinterpreted and therefore maligned. Unfair criticism increased the pain and brought us, in tears, to our knees.
C. S. Lewis made a statement once, God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. Believe me, He had our undivided attention! Crushed and bruised, all we could do was wait.
Although the swelling from that sting is gone now, the memory is not. I tell you, as pastor of a church, often when people are going through painful experiences, they need someway to vent the pain that they are experiencing. Often, I get to be the recipient of that pain.
If you live long enough, you’re going to be misunderstood. If you live long enough, you are going to misunderstand me to the point where it will bring you pain and great frustration.
How do you hang in there? You turn it over to the Lord. You let Him be God and you let Him fight for you. He will take care of you. God has a way of changing our bad situations into good endings. God has a way of making resurrections out of crucifixions. That is the good news. That is why it is good news. We have Him to turn to in times of great anguish and distress.
Let’s pray.
