WHEN SAINTS DISAGREE
Acts 15:1-2, 36-41, 28-30
(adapted from a message from Steven Shepherd Church of Christ (When Christians Disagree)
This title came from a sermon booklet by Dr John R. Church.)
INTRO.- Do people ever disagree? Do Christians ever disagree? What a question! Of course, they do. All people disagree at times.
ILL.- Two boys were fighting and one was on top of the other. Finally, the mother of the boy who was on top came out and called her son. He hit the boy on the bottom a few more times and then spit in his eye.
His mother said to him, “Why do you fight all the time? IT MUST BE THE DEVIL IN YOU.” After a little thought, the boy replied, “It may be the devil in me that makes me fight, but spitting in that guy’s eye was my own idea.”
Brethren, we live in a world of discontent, and I really believe that most of it is the devil’s fault. He is a liar, a deceiver, and a troublemaker. He is out to cause trouble for people anyway he can. And if he can get people to quarrel and fight with one another, then he will. He will use every dirty tool he can think of to cause wars, fighting and discontent. But he can’t do anything we don’t allow him to.
ILL.- A very wealthy man was dying and decided to face up to the fact. He called his attorney to his bedside and after telling his wife not to cry, he started to dispose of all his worldly possessions.
“I want to leave my Cadillac to my son George.” His wife Bertha interrupted and said, “You should leave it to Joe. He’s a better driver and he’ll take care of it.” “Okay,” the man said.
He went on, “I want to leave my Rolls Royce to my daughter, Linda.” His wife Bertha interrupted again and said, “You’d be better off to leave it to the your nephew Willie.” “All right,” he said, “I will leave my Rolls Royce to my nephew Willie instead of my daughter, Linda.”
He went on, “And I leave my Volvo to my niece, Sally. She is such a sweetheart.” Again, his wife Bertha interrupted and said, “I think Judy should get it.”
Unable to take it any longer, the man said, “BERTHA, PLEASE, WHO’S DYING? YOU OR ME?”
Yes, husbands and wives often disagree. And even on the deathbed, some married couples will never agree.
ILL.- A teenage daughter was talking to her dad as the boom box was playing her loud music. She said to her dad, “Did you ever hear any music as good as that?” Her dad replied, “Yeah, only once when two trucks collided and one exploded.”
Do parents and their children ever disagree? What I want to know is: DO THEY EVER AGREE ON ANYTHING?
Is there ever disagreement in the workplace? Between the boss and the employees? Between the employees and the employees? Of course. All the time.
Not only is there disagreement in the home and in the work place, but also, in almost every place you can think of! Disagreements even happen in the church!
ILL.- The evangelist was preaching when suddenly a heckler in the audience shouted, “Listen to him! His father used to drive a wagon led by a donkey.”
“That’s right,” said the evangelist, “and today my father and the wagon are gone. BUT I SEE WE STILL HAVE THE DONKEY WITH US.”
Do Christian people ever disagree about ministers and other matters in the church? Why, of course, they do.
I spoke to Rueben of how we hear people say they want to attend a church like those in the Bible where there was peace and no conflict. I used to think the same. However, the Bible don’t bear that out. The Gospels tell of conflict among the disciples, Acts does, Romans, 1Cor, 2 Cor., Gal., Phil., Col., Thess, Timothy, James, as far as I went. Point well taken.
Larry Crabb wrote “The difference between spiritual and unspiritual community is not whether conflict exists, but is rather in our attitude toward it and our approach to handling it. When conflict is seen as an opportunity to draw more fully on spiritual resources, we have the makings of spiritual community.” In other words, it is how we handle conflict that determines the level of our spiritual maturity!
I Cor. 1:10-11 “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you.”
QUARRELING. I would say that is definitely a sign of disagreement. Selfish disagreement.
In every church I’ve served or known about there have been disagreements among church members and leaders and ministers. And disagreements aren’t so bad. It’s when people become disagreeable that things get bad! (Same experience)
I’ve always heard it said that there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, but when we become disagreeable in our attitude and speech, it’s then that we have a real problem!
In our text of Acts 15, we read that even the apostle Paul experienced some disagreements with others. One disagreement had to do with a principle and the second had to do with an opinion.
1- A disagreement over a principle (15:1-2)
Acts 15:1-2 “Some men came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the brothers: ‘Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.’ This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them.”
Paul disagreed with some legalistic Christians over Gentile converts. Some Jewish converts to Christianity were saying that the Gentile converts had to be circumcised according to the O.T. law in order to be saved. PAUL HAD A SHARP DISPUTE AND DEBATE WITH THEM.
The principle was salvation is by repentance and faith alone in the work of Christ. The Legalists were trying to add the law of Moses and circumcision to the requirements for salvation. Paul and Barnabas said it is the CROSS plus nothing.
The spirit of legalism is still with us today and in some ways may be worse today than in Paul’s time.
ILL.- “You’re minister, huh?” asked a man.
The preacher said, “Yes, I am.”
“What church?”
“Baptist.”
“Oh, you’re the narrow-minded bunch that believes only their group is going to make it to heaven.”
“Well,” he went on, “I’m even more narrow minded than that. I don’t think all of our group are going to make it!” THAT’S THE SPIRIT OF LEGALISM!
That’s the spirit that says, “I’m right and you’re wrong. And if you don’t agree with me you’re wrong and you are not going to heaven.
No church has all the right answers. We don’t know everything. We don’t have all the answers.
To say that we’re right and others are wrong and are going to hell is wrong. That’s legalism!
Here’s another example.
ILL.- Preacher Chuck Swindoll tells about a youth minister who showed his youth group a missionary film. About an hour later a group of church leaders called that youth minister and asked what he had done. They asked, “Did you show the young people a film?” He replied, “Well, yeah, I did.” “We don’t like that,” they replied.
Without trying to be argumentative, the youth minister reasoned, “Well, I remember that at the last missionary conference, our church showed slides.”
One of the church leaders said, “If it’s still, it’s fine. If it moves, it’s sin!” THAT’S LEGALISM!
2- A second disagreement that Paul had was over an opinion Acts 15:36-40
Paul and Barnabas disagreed over whether or not to take Timothy with them on their missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to take Timothy and Paul didn’t want to because he had deserted on them on another trip.
Acts 15:39 “They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company...”
Here their opinions were based not on selfish desires, but godly ones. Paul’s concern was for the new Christians they were visiting, who knew John Mark backslid ? The last time. Paul didn’t want the new converts to follow John Marks example. Barnabas was concerned about the spiritual life of his nephew, and he didn’t want him to stay down. Their concern caused them to part in peace. Notice not in a huff and mad at each other, but the church blessed them as they left in peace. If they had been asked about the other they would have spoken highly, and Paul did in his letters to the churches. They parted in peace when they didn’t agree. It was probably better for John Mark to be with Barnabas than Paul in God’s plan anyway. He did well and wrote the Gospel of Mark, and Paul as he was dying called for him and spoke of his high value to him.
It’s almost hard to believe that Paul had such a disagreement that he and Barnabas had to part company. And it was all over a matter of opinion. Disagreements over matters of opinion are a major problem in many churches, but it shouldn’t be that way.
ILL.- Here’s another example of two Christians who disagreed over the music in their church. One said, “You know, I think when we worship on Sunday morning, we shouldn’t clap because Sunday morning ought to be a time of reverence.”
The other Christian said, “No, I think Sunday morning ought to be a time of joy and rejoicing in the Lord.”
“Well,” the first man said, “The Bible says God’s house is to be a house of prayer.”
“Yes,” said the other man, “But the Bible also says that Sunday is a time of celebrating the resurrection of Christ.”
“Yes,” the first man said, “The Bible also says ‘be still and know that I am God.’”
The other man said, “It also says, ‘make a joyful noise unto the Lord.’”
Brethren, who was right and who was wrong? They were both right, but to become disagreeable over their opinion was wrong.
Your opinion is no more important than mine. And opinions are just opinions, but some people see their opinion as being gospel truth. And that opinion is bound to cause disagreement anywhere or in any church.
What can be done about disagreements in the church? Or what about disagreements among Christians?
PROP.- Consider some lessons about disagreement.
1- Disagreements are inevitable
2- Disagreements are dangerous
3- Disagreements are solvable
I. DISAGREEMENTS ARE INEVITABLE
Disagreements are going to happen. It’s human nature to disagree with one another at times because we are different people! We are made out of the same stuff, dirt, but we are different people in spirit, attitude, thinking, etc.
ILL.- Someone said, “Herein lies the difference between the sexes: When a couple is supposed to go somewhere, the woman’s first thought is: WHAT SHALL I WEAR?
“And the man’s first thought is: HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS?”
ILL.- A naive Christian married couple both believed that because they loved each other and they loved the Lord, they were going to live in peace and never have a disagreement or an argument. And they soon discovered, it didn’t work that way! The longer they were married, the more they disagreed and the more they argued.
The wife was really disturbed. She didn’t believe in divorce, so finally one day she said to her husband, “Honey, let’s just pray to the Lord that He will take one of us home and then I’ll go live with my mother!”
DISAGREEMENT IS INEVITABLE! We are different people. And just as there is a difference in male and female, there is also a difference in all of us.
Remember last week the book of James said the reason disagreements had escalated into quarrels and fights was because of selfishness (selfish evil desires). As the people of God we have we have the spirit of God within, and love of God, and the power of forgiveness to settle our disagreements. If we don’t access these things then the disagreements will escalate.
II. DISAGREEMENTS ARE DANGEROUS
Disagreements are dangerous or can be dangerous. Why? Because they can often lead to some other things which are not good.
Paul warns “Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat.” Romans 14:20 Meaning don’t allow non essentials to tear the church apart.
Eph. 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
When we disagree with people, if we are not careful and cautious, this disagreement can lead to anger. And disagreement can lead to uncontrolled anger, which opens the door to the devil.
The devil can use almost anything in our lives as a tool, AND ANGER IS ONE OF HIS BETTER TOOLS!
James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Can’t get much plainer than that. Man’s anger is often or most of the time, not pleasing to God. In anger, we often sin. In anger, we often hurt. In anger, we often do things we would not normally do. And they are not good things. And disagreements can lead to anger, which is just one letter short of “danger.”
“In the late l800s there were just two deacons in a small Baptist church in Mayfield County, Kentucky. One Sunday, one of the deacons put up a small wooden peg in the back wall so the minister could hang up his hat. When the other deacon discovered the peg, he was outraged that he had not been consulted. Before long, the church took sides and eventually split. To this day, the story goes, you can find in Mayfield County, Kentucky, the Anti-peg Baptist Church.” [Doyle Young. New Life For Your Church. (p. 63)
III. DISAGREEMENTS ARE SOLVABLE Acts 15: Jerusalem Council Compromise
(Try to understand the other persons side) The key to solving disagreements according to Dale Carnagie is putting our self in the other persons place, and try to understand their point of view.
James did that in the Jerusalem Council. He was convinced as Paul and Barnabas that it is the cross plus nothing for the new gentile converts, but the Jewish converts who made up the other side of the new church had strong convictions about the law from their upbringing. So James asked the new gentile converts to do four things, not to be saved, but to show love for others in the church and to produce unity.
Disagreements can be solved. There is a solution to them. There is a way to overcome them.
Charles Swindoll observes, “When disharmony arises between two people or two groups, there is some measure of fault on both sides. Both parties must be encouraged to see each other’s fault, each other’s failure … and meet on common ground with a mutual willingness to listen and change.” [Charles Swindoll. “Laugh Again.” (Dallas: Word Pub, 1991) p. 183]
One of the solutions is simply to learn to compromise. Acts 15:
ILL.- Bob Russell who preaches at the large Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY, said one time, “When my wife and I were first married, she wanted to put up the Christmas tree two weeks before Christmas. To me, that was sacrilegious, because in my home we always put up the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve! We argued about that and finally, we came to a compromise. My wife put up the Christmas tree two weeks before Christmas Eve, BY HERSELF!”
Compromise or making concessions is not a matter of weakness. It is a strength in people.
I Cor. 13:5 LB “Loves does not always demand its own way.”
We of all people need to learn to compromise with one another, get along with one another, work at this peace-business, and be less judgmental toward one another.
Rom. 12:18 “If it possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you. Don’t worry about the other person: “He, she..” You do what is right. You humble yourself and do the peaceable thing.
II Tim. 2:24 “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone....”
Disagreements are solvable through practicing the Golden Rule
It is practicing “Loving your neighbor as yourself”
Jesus said “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
Do you want them to apologize then you go do it.
Agree to Disagree Agreeably. Some things we just won’t agree on, and its ok. Some people are so selfish they can’t ever drop it. To love your neighbor is to not bring up something you know can’t agree on, because you value the relationship. If you always have to be right you will intimidate and manipulate others into giving you your way. Here Paul and Barnabas did.
Disagreements are solvable. And we must work hard at finding just the right solution in order not to explode and hurt and kill.
CONCLUSION---------------------------------------
ILL.- Cliff Barrows is the man who used to sing for most of Billy Graham’s big evangelist conferences. He would sing songs like, “His Eye is on the Sparrow,” and often, lead the congregation in “Just As I Am.”
Cliff said one time, “There are twelve words that hold a family together....” In fact, we could say, these twelve words will hold a marriage together, a family together, a church together and most other relationships together.
These twelve words are: I WAS WRONG. I AM SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU. May God help us to put these words into practice and mean them. They will go a long way to improve life when we disagree with one another.
I read in the September 2007 Charisma Magazine a story from Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner’s memorial that was incredible. Before Jim and Tammy launched the PTL Club in 1974, they were the founding members of Pat Robertson’s 700 Club. The couple later moved to California and helped Paul and Jan Crouch launch Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) in 1973, but left in a cloud of hurt feelings.
Last year Paul Crouch went through a supermarket line and saw in a Tabloid Magazine that Tammy was dying. He bought it and took it home and called his Mom, and said, “We have to make it right with Tammy Faye before she dies.” She was on their show for the first time in 30 years last year, and went on three more times. What is incredible is that national church leaders allowed a disagreement to keep them from speaking for 30 years, and only impending death caused them to make a move. If the leaders act like this what about the people? Don’t allow disagreements with fellow believers to divide you.
