(Opened with a homemade "YouTube" video to the Toby Mac hit, "Made to Love")
Last week we explored our love relationship with God. This idea of a “holy romance” through such long standing hymns of the faith as “And Can It Be” and “My Saviour’s Love” and “My Jesus I Love Thee.” This week, it is a bit more contemporary music, and truth from Toby Mac –
“I was made to love you, I was made to find you
I was made just for you, made to adore you
I was made to love, and be loved by you
You were here before me, You were waiting on me
And you said you’d keep me, never would you leave me
I was made to love and be loved by you.”
I’ll stop there before I embarrass my children any further. Let’s recap what we explored together last Sunday. We began by talking about paradigms: Frames of Reference. Patterns or templates for how we process things which color every aspect of our life: what we think, how we talk, how we interpret life events. Everything is colored by our paradigms. Our frames of reference. Our patterns of thinking and influence.
And we looked at how the Bible utilizes various paradigms to describe the Kingdom of God. Paradigms people in the body of Christ tend to operate out of –
- Fishing: “I will make you fishers of men.” A popular evangelistic paradigm.
- Agriculture: “Sowing the seed.” “Pruning the vine.” A discipleship paradigm.
- War: “We wrestle not with flesh and blood.” A spiritual warfare paradigm.
And then we explored a paradigm of not only who we are already in part, but especially, who we will clearly one day be presented as: the Bride of Christ. A “Bridal Paradigm.”
Revelation 19 says,
“Let us rejoice and exalt
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready.”
2 Corinthians 11, “I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.”
The prophet Isaiah, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name.” (Isaiah 54:5)
I even encouraged you to read the Song of Solomon this week from the frame of reference of the “Bridal Paradigm.” Reflecting on the poetry and writing of that book from the paradigm of Christ as the husband, and you. . .me. . .the body of Christ as the bride of Christ. Anybody take on that devotional experiment this week?
The “Bridal Paradigm.” A paradigm that draws a picture of God as one who enjoys us, who is filled with affection for us, who desires to embrace us. An intimate picture of our relationship with God. A way of looking at our walk with God that is covered in affection and love.
But as we explored this paradigm, we saw that it was not without its challenges.
There is. . .
A. A PRACTICAL CHALLENGE
Men and singles especially may struggle to relate to the role of a bride. Men tend to embrace more masculine paradigms. War paradigms. Agricultural paradigms. Men do not get real excited about embracing words and thoughts such as “intimacy”, “affection”, and “love.” But without the “Bridal Paradigm” people can go their entire life without seeing and understanding God’s deep, personal, passionate love for them. There is...
B. A PSYCHOLOGICAL CHALLENGE
In our minds. In our thinking. In our current paradigms and frames of reference, we see ourselves as unworthy of being the bride of Christ. We wonder why in the world He would want to be married to us. We are unable to see ourselves with the love that Christ has for us. There is even. . .
C. AN EXPERIENTIAL CHALLENGE
Simply put, we have not experienced in our lives the all out, reckless abandon love that Christ has for us. Nor have we loved others or God in that way ourselves. So it is difficult for us to picture a God that would love us in a “no holds barred” manner.
And yet, despite some very real challenges, I firmly believe that we are living in a day when we desperately need this paradigm in our lives. We need this frame of reference as a part of our walk with God. And we looked at some reasons why. For example. . .
1. IN ITS PUREST FORM, IT IS THE PLACE OF GREATEST LOVE AND INTIMACY
Only in the “Bridal Paradigm.” Only in our roles as the bride of Christ can we experience the love and intimacy that we all long for in our lives. All the limitations and shortcomings of the “human paradigm” of love are gone. All the mistakes and failures of the earthly “marriage paradigm” become a distant memory. In the greatness of this frame of reference of the love of God, the very same love the Father has for the Son, the Son has for us, His bride.
We need this paradigm in our lives because the love Christ has for His bride, for us is everlasting, it is beyond knowledge and comprehension, it is so deep and so wide, and so high that it is easily the greatest place of love and intimacy that we could ever experience. And. . .
2. IN ITS PUREST FORM, IT IS A GIFT FROM GOD TO US
In the purity of the love of God, this marriage is a gift that we graciously receive. The proposal has been made. We didn’t earn it. We didn’t have to search it out. Christ comes to us as the Bridegroom. He stands at the door and knocks. And He offers the gift of an eternal marriage relationship with Him.
But there is another reason why I believe this paradigm is so important in our lives, and that is where I want us to focus today. You may still ask, “Why is this ‘Bridal Paradigm’ so important? I’ve gotten along fine in my life without thinking of God in this way. Why is it so important that I consider this now?”
To begin exploring the answer to that question, we need to look at how Jesus would desire we relate to Him. What would Jesus want? So turn to the book of Luke. Luke 10. Luke 10:38 (read through verse 42).
You see, this is the deal, since the days of Mary and Martha we have all been keenly aware of the fact that the Kingdom of God is populated with both workers and lovers. Those who do for Jesus, and those who simply desire to be with Jesus. Marthas and Marys. That may sound very black and white, and is usually preached very black and white, but it isn’t. It is a spectrum. And all of us fall somewhere along that spectrum.
In fact, if we are honest with ourselves. We will admit that at various different points and times in our lives we move along the spectrum. Swinging like a pendulum between the two. At our worst, we find ourselves on the end of the spectrum that is serving, doing ministry out of guilt, obligation or shame. At our best, we find ourselves on the end of the spectrum which is serving, doing ministry out of a complete, passionate, heartfelt desire to serve the Bridegroom. But most of the time, we are somewhere in between.
But at those times when we are on the positive end of the spectrum. At those times when our motivation, our driving force, our reason for serving is the pure and matchless love of Christ, we can discover a few important things that will once again drive home the need for the “Bridal Paradigm” in our lives.
For example, we will discover, that without fail. . .
1. LOVE IS A MUCH MORE POWERFUL MOTIVATOR THAN DUTY.
In I Corinthians 13 Paul refers to it as the most excellent way to use our gifts and be engaged in ministry. If you have attended Network Discovery, maybe you will remember our reflecting on the differences between servility, serving out of duty, and servanthood, serving out of love. And we use the example of two different forms of highway trash colleting teams: prisoners and boy scouts (elaborate).
The earthly “marriage paradigm” provides us a glimpse of the power of love as a motivator versus duty. (i.e. serving Deb).
Love changes the way we respond to the will of another. And likewise, being a lover of God will transform how we live for Him. And having the “Bridal Paradigm” in our lives will give us the ability to truly enter into a relationship where we can see ourselves, think of ourselves, dare to imagine ourselves as the eternal lover of God. And that will way out motivate us to serve at the pleasure of our Savior.
And as we serve Christ out of love, rather than guilt or duty, we will discover that. . .
2. LOVERS WILL OUTWORK WORKERS EVERY TIME.
This week in my One Year Bible reading I was in 2 Corinthians, and read these words from Paul, “I say this not as a command, but to prove by the earnestness of others that your love also is genuine. . .so now finish doing it as well, so that your readiness in desiring it may be matched by your completing it out of what you have.” (2 Corinthians 8:8, 11)
Paul is speaking to the church at Corinth, and they have had a bit of a problem. They were ready to do good things. They started with a desire inside of them to be generous and Paul even indicates that love was the motivation. But he has seen a problem. The job hasn’t been finished. And he says that in order to show that your love is genuine, you need to match what you desired in imagining the job by completing the job. In other words, if your love is genuine, you’ll get it done. Because lovers will outwork workers every time. Love is just that much more powerful of a motivator. (i.e. half done jobs)
One pastor shares the story of his brother who thirty three years ago, under the lights of a high school football game, suffered a horrific collision that resulted in a broken neck. He was rushed to the hospital, but the damage was already done and to this day he is totally paralyzed.
The pastor notes that he has been in and out of hospitals with him over these past 30 plus years, and in the early years they would spend months at a time in rehabilitation hospitals. And once in a while they would see a nurse fall in love with their patient. It didn’t happen often, but every now and then a worker would change their relationship with a patient to become a lover.
Unfortunately that word, lover, has been so warped by our society that we can’t hardly use it anymore. The worker didn’t enter into some inappropriate relationship with the patient. There is no sexual connotation to what is being described here. The worker simply went from being a nurse, to someone who loved and cared for their patient.
They would throw their nursing checklist out of the window, and serve out of love, not needing a list to remind them of what their beloved needed. They would work much harder because of love than they ever did when it was just their job. They would demonstrate much greater endurance and energy.
Compare the care of two year-old child by a teenage babysitter versus a mom. The teenager is counting dollars to a new outfit. The mom is operating out of a mindset of love. And the deeper that love the mother carries, the greater the odds that there aren’t too many messes to clean-up. Or too many tears to wipe from the child’s eyes. Too many times to hold them in their arms and tell them it will be okay. The mom’s love overrides it all because lovers always outwork workers.
And it is especially when we are talking about lovers of the Bride of Christ as compared to workers for a church or pastor. But even beyond the motivational and sustaining power of love. Even beyond the doing and working aspects.
3. LOVE WILL ENABLE US TO TOUCH ETERNAL POINTS OF SATISFACTION AND LET GO OF INFERIOR ONES.
This is where things get a little deeper, so stay with me. Jesus said in his famous prayer of John chapter 17, “I made known to them Your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which You have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:26, ESV)
Jesus desires that we experience the love that the Father has for Him in our lives. And He says that to facilitate that, He makes known the name of the Father to us, and will continue to do so. He says to the Father, “By my revealing who You are to them. By my sharing Your very nature and being with them. By doing that, they will be able to experience the love You have for them.”
In other words, when we begin to get a hold of God. When we begin to touch God. When we begin to experience the eternal satisfaction that comes from a relationship with God, then we will truly know love. And the inferior, imitation forms of love will no longer satisfy us, or even draw us to them.
Again, look at this great “Bridal Paradigm” passage from Ephesians - “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:25-32, ESV)
Part of that sanctification process. Part of that being washed without spot or wrinkle. Part of that presenting ourselves spotless before the bridegroom is this experience of seeing how Christ loves us, gave Himself up for us, and cleaning to that eternal satisfaction in exchange for the lesser satisfactions of this world.
So we no longer desire alcohol or drugs. Not out of legalism. But out of the experience of Christ’s love that makes those points of satisfaction inferior. The Christian Rock band Skillet has a great song that says, “You’re better than drugs.” Didn’t think I would put you through anything quite that heavy today.
We no longer desire pornography, or lust after others. Not out of guilt or the condemnation of sin. But because we have experienced the superior nature of God’s love for us as His bride, and the inferior satisfactions of this world are no longer even attractive.
Are you still with me? When we truly experience this love that Christ has for us as His bride. When we truly touch these eternal points of satisfaction. The inferior ones of the world will hold no draw to our lives. Which is just a slight variation of number 4.
4. LOVE WILL UNCOVER THE PLEASURE GOD HAS FOR US, AND SATAN’S SUBSTITUTES THAT WE HAVE BOUGHT INTO.
You may remember that last week Jesus was teaching on the Kingdom of God in Matthew 22:2, and He likened it to a wedding feast. A modern day wedding reception on steroids. Because back then, these things went for days. They were huge parties. They were highly pleasure filled experiences.
The beginning of a new job, or the beginning of a new pastorate is often referred to as the honeymoon period. Why? Because honeymoons are great. They are full of pleasure and love. I know very few people who have sat around on their honeymoon thinking, “Man, I just wish I was back in high school. Back having to put on all those fronts and appearances to attract the dates. Spending hundreds of dollars on a prom night just to really feel loved and accepted.” Anyone you know ever said that on their honeymoon?
Why not? Because when we experience true love, or what we label here on earth as true love, we start to wonder how we ever bought into all the other substitutes. If you stopped to think about it on your honeymoon, you would wonder why you really cared so much about what little Tommy thought of you in seventh grade.
And when we begin to experience the love God has for His bride. We will no longer see a list of obligations and prohibitions. We will no longer relate to Him as a legalistic Pharaoh. Instead, we will be drawn to the pleasures that He has for us. The fulfillment of every longing of our heart, many of which we are going to look at later this fall.
The Psalmist writes,
“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 16:11)
When we begin to experience life from the “Bridal Paradigm”, we will experience pleasures we never before knew, and will begin to wonder why for so long in our lives we bought into all of Satan’s imposters and imitations.
Finally, we will discover that. . .
5. THE REWARD OF LOVE BASED MINISTRY IS LOVE RECIPROCATED.
Most of our lives in this world involves doing something to get something. We do our jobs to get a paycheck. We pay our taxes to get the services the government provides us. Even our earthly love relationships can morph into a life of doing something to get something.
So our kids end up doing their chores at home to get an allowance, rather than out of love for the family. Husbands end up doing the dishes for their wives so they won’t get nagged when they watch the ball game, rather than out of love for their spouse. Wives rub dirty, smelly feet so that they can buy that new dress, rather than out of that honeymoon like love for their husband.
As the pendulum swings, and we move away from Mary towards Martha, we end up trading eternal, intimate rewards for short term, earthly satisfaction.
That is not how God intended it to be. Instead, He desired we enter into an endless love cycle. Where we love, because the Father first loved us. And that love compels us to minister on behalf of the Bridegroom. And the response to that ministry is more love shown to the Bride by Christ. And as we fall deeper into the arms of that love, we can’t help but find ourselves once again moved to ministry out of our love for our Savior.
The cycle spins on and on for eternity, and we find ourselves truly, wholeheartedly, lovingly serving at the pleasure of our Savior. And in that service, we find fullness of joy, and pleasure evermore.
I don’t claim to be the world’s greatest communicator. But who wouldn’t want to be in that kind of a relationship? Living life in a shower of love. Ministering out of an overflow of intimacy and gratitude. Experiencing an eternal honeymoon with our Bridegroom. That is what the “Bridal Paradigm” has to offer to our lives.
So the question of the day is, “What’s my motivation?” What is driving me in my relationships with those around me, but more importantly, with my Heavenly Father who so desires an intimate relationship with me? Is it guilt? Is it condemnation? Or is it the love found in living life in the “Bridal Paradigm?” What’s my motivation? What’s your motivation? Let’s pray.
