(Significant inspiration for this message received at the International House of Prayer Pastor’s and Leaders Conference & the leadership team at IHOP).
Opened with a review of my background in an ATS Philosophy Class reading and studying Paradigms
Definition of Paradigms – Frames of Reference. Patterns or models for how we think.
Even when we are not aware of the paradigms, they color every aspect of our life: what we think, how we talk, how we interpret events, what we anticipate about the future. Everything is colored by our paradigms. Our frames of reference. Our patterns of thinking and influence.
i.e. Family holidays and events, Worship Services
Experienced Paradigm Change – The Nationwide Logo
The old eagle logo was tattooed on employees’ arms and inlaid in home pools. There were actually two eagles that Nationwide owned. With names and everything. But the company had a new strategy, and management had a new brand to introduce. The paradigm shifted to “Picture This.” Shirts become obsolete. Frames of reference were shattered, and not everyone was happy, to say the least.
We can cling very dearly to our paradigms. Our way of seeing life. Our view of how things “ought to be.”
Biblical Paradigms of the Kingdom of God –
- Fishing: linked to the fishing industry and evangelism
- Agriculture: linked to farming and discipleship
- War: linked to soldiers and spiritual battle
From a paradigm of who we are, how we often see ourselves (soldiers, fisherman, laborers in the field) to another paradigm of who we are created to be –
Revelation 19:6-9, “Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
"Hallelujah! For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure"—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And he said to me, "These are the true words of God."
The culmination of all history will take place at this marriage supper of the lamb: all of history from the fall of Adam through the cross of Christ, and every instance of sin and redemption in between is building towards this great event.
And in this paradigm, which we might call the “Bridal Paradigm”, we can begin to draw a picture of a God who enjoys us, who is filled with affection for us, and who desires to embrace us. Even in our weaknesses and stumbling.
The “Bridal Paradigm” gives us a picture of a bridegroom, Christ, who is longing for His bride, you. . .me. . .us. And when it is all said and done, the marriage supper of the lamb will fulfill and consummate this paradigm, this frame of reference of who we are in Christ.
Let me give you some background to this paradigm. This was the paradigm Jesus utilized in what was probably His final sermon on earth.
Matthew 22:1-2, “And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son.”
Jesus draws a picture, provides a frame of reference for considering the Kingdom of God, and uses a “Bridal Paradigm” of a king – God – throwing a wedding feast for his son – Jesus.
This is the same paradigm used to point us to the return of Christ
Revelation 22:17, “The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come."”
You see, there are plenty of paradigms we can operate from within the church. But notice that in Revelation 22:17 it is not the “Spirit and the family of God.” That would be another Biblical paradigm, but not the one that we are being pointed to as eternity approaches.
It is not the “Spirit and the Army of God.” Stemming from a war paradigm. Spiritual battle is real. You know I am a firm believer in spiritual warfare. But when looking towards the consummation of the second coming, that isn’t the paradigm we will be living in.
Those are acceptable, good, even Biblical paradigms. But the paradigm we are moving towards, the paradigm that will culminate God’s plan for His people is the calling of the second coming of Christ, the calling of all people to one final shot at repentance, to join in the wedding feast, the call that goes out by the “Spirit and His Bride.”
You will find this in other places throughout God’s Word. Paul spoke from this frame of reference. In 2 Corinthians he writes, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:2, ESV) Paul is reinforcing this frame of reference that the church, the people of God, we are set for marriage to one husband, that being Christ. That’s the “Bridal Paradigm.”
In Ephesians Paul is teaching husbands and wives regarding their behavior in marriage, and he writes, “’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32, ESV) That’s the “Bridal Paradigm.”
And it is not strictly a New Testament paradigm. The prophet Isaiah spoke to the nation of Israel and declared, “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.” (Isaiah 54:5, ESV) The relationship is that of a bride and her husband.
And probably no place is this paradigm brought to such vivid life as in the Song of Solomon. And if you read through the Song of Solomon, which I encourage you to do this week in your devotional time as follow-up to this message, and as you read through it and you examine this point of reference, this perspective, you will really begin to see and understand the foundation of this paradigm – this frame of reference for our relationship with God. And it is a foundation of intimacy with God. This is an intimate paradigm. A way of looking at our walk with God and our relationship with God, covered in affection and love.
But it is not without its challenges.
CHALLENGES TO THE “BRIDAL PARADIGM” –
A. PRACTICAL - MEN & SINGLES MAY STRUGGLE TO RELATE TO THE ROLE OF BRIDE
In fact, men not only struggle to relate to the role of Bride, they tend to embrace more masculine paradigms. War paradigms. Agricultural paradigms. Men do not tend to be real good at embracing anything that involves words such as “intimacy”, “affection”, and “love.” So they fail to embrace the “Bridal Paradigm” and can simultaneously fail to embrace and understand God’s deep, personal, passionate love for them.
Single people may struggle to relate to the role of a bride. Some because they have never experienced it. Others because they have experienced some distorted earthly form of it that did not end in a positive way. So from a very practical stand point, the church can be filled with people who look more like the “Runaway Bride” than the beloved of Christ seeing themselves within the “Bridal Paradigm.” Another challenge is one that is. . .
B. PSYCHOLOGICAL - THE REALITY OF WHO WE ARE MAKES US WONDER WHY CHRIST WOULD WANT TO MARRY US.
In our minds. In our thinking. In our current paradigms and frames of reference, we see ourselves as unworthy, rather than seeing ourselves with the love that Christ has for us. (i.e. the humility of a proposal) Another challenge to this paradigm is. . .
C. EXPERIENTIAL - MANY OF US DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE WITH RECKLESS ABANDON.
We know I Corinthians 13. We have heard the “love” chapter, but it seems like an impossible ideal. Besides, we know people will let us down, so we love reservedly. Never over exposing ourselves. Never stepping too far out. Never loving with a reckless abandon. (example of extroverted worship)
Romans 8:38-39, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
As motivational and encouraging as that passage may be, experientially, it is beyond our grasp. We have seen all the things in our lives that can separate loved ones. That can break down intimacy. That can end relationships. So we don’t know what it means to love and be loved with a reckless, inseperable abandon. So how in the world can we envision Jesus, the Savior of the world, the Son of God, loving and pursuing us, pursuing me with a reckless abandon as the bridegroom longs for his bride?
Those are challenges to a Biblical paradigm of living, and seeing ourselves as the bride of Christ. They are distortions in the world that stab and distort the “Bridal Paradigm.”
But I firmly believe that we desperately need this paradigm in our lives. We need this frame of reference as a part of our walk with God. Probably the greatest reason for which I am going to save until next week. But some other reasons include. . .
WHY WE NEED THE “BRIDAL PARADIGM” IN OUR LIVES –
1. IN ITS PUREST FORM, IT IS THE PLACE OF GREATEST LOVE AND INTIMACY
Later this fall we are going to look at the natural, wired, human longing to be loved. And whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a desire to experience great love and intimacy. But there is no place in the world, even in a Christian marriage, where you can experience the love and intimacy that comes with being the bride of Christ.
John 15:9, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.”
Jesus can say that, I can’t. Jesus says, the love that my Father has towards me, I have toward you, and that is perfect love passed from the Father to us. But I can’t do that. In fact, I can’t even love my children as well as the Father loves the son. I’m way too human.
Furthermore, my love doesn’t transfer that well. Even if I loved my children as much as the Father loves the son, I can not guarantee, force or even enable my children to replicate that love on to you.
But in the “Bridal Paradigm”, all the limitations and shortcomings of the “human paradigm” do not exist. In the greatness of the frame of reference of the love of God, the very same love the Father has for the Son, the Son has for us, His bride. Can you imagine? Can you grasp that? Probably not, because we haven’t learned to live in this frame of reference. In the “Bridal Paradigm.”
That is why Paul prayed for the church of Ephesus that they might have “strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19, ESV)
Jeremiah 31:3, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” And this declaration of purest, everlasting love comes in the same chapter where we find the bridal language pointing to the fact that we don’t deserve it. In verse 31 it says, “Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD.”
We need this paradigm in our lives because the love Christ has for His bride, for us is everlasting, is beyond knowledge and comprehension, is so deep and so wide, and so high that it is easily the greatest place of love and intimacy that we could ever experience. And. . .
2. IN ITS PUREST FORM, IT IS A HOLY ROMANCE AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE
And let me just pause here for a moment, in the midst of encouraging you to read the Song of Solomon and talking about intimacy and husband and wives, and ask you to please understand, this concept of a holy romance has nothing to do with sexuality. It is contained in the Word of God and it describes a point of living where we are delighted by God’s beauty. We feel pleasure in the Word. We feel the Spirit resonating inside of us. We understand what it means to be loved by God. That’s the holy romance. That is the intimacy that I am speaking of. And this holy romance is available to everyone.
2 Peter 3:9 expresses this invitation to all when it describes God’s love by saying, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
Anyone ever stood on a softball field, or a playground, and been picked last? Or not been picked at all? For some of us in this life on earth, we will never be picked for marriage. Even beyond that, some of us may be chosen last our entire life. But it is God’s desire that everyone reach repentance, that everyone enter into a relationship with the Bridegroom, that everyone experience the holy romance, the intimacy, this love that is available to all who will receive Christ in the fullness of the “Bridal Paradigm.” And the best part is, it is a better romance than is available to the ones who are “chosen” on earth.
Finally. . .
3. IN ITS PUREST FORM, IT IS A GIFT FROM GOD TO US
That is one way in which the “Bridal Paradigm” is different than an earthly marriage paradigm. Imagine if I asked Debbie to marry me, and told her, “I just want you to know, having the opportunity to marry me, to be my bride, that is my gift to you.” How do you think that would fly? Some of you probably think that is how I proposed, don’t you?
But in the purity of the love of God, this marriage is a gift that we graciously receive. We don’t start it. We don’t go pick the groom. This isn’t “The Bachelor” for Christians.
I John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” And how did our Bridegroom love us?
John 15:13 declares, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
And this is an important part of this paradigm of love and intimacy. For some of us, we need to learn to see the cross beyond an act of God due to His anger and disgrace of His children. That He turned His face, furious with His creation, and declared, “Jesus, you are going to have to pay for the lives of these pagans.” Because when we see the cross in this paradigm, we see that the cross was motivated by love. The most intimate of sacrifices so that we could be a part of the marriage supper of the Lamb.
So let me ask you this morning. Do you know that God loves you? Not just a “Jesus loves me this I know” kind of love that you picked up as a five year-old. A deep, passionate love of great affection and intimacy. Do you know that God loves you with that love? Do you feel inside you the feeling of being the sought after bride? The bride that Jesus jealously pursues until He can enter into that marriage relationship with you individually, and with us corporately as the church?
I say it with sadness, not judgment. But knowing and watching many of us, I think the answer is no. I think this is a paradigm that we have yet to grasp. A frame of reference that we have yet to experience.
Have you ever people watched? An airport? The mall? And as you watched couples go by, you could surmise, with some degree of accuracy, which ones were really in love and which ones were just surviving. When people see you. When the praise team glances at your faces. When people out there see me. When people in here spend time with me. Do they see a bride who is glad to be loved, and equally in love with her bridegroom?
Closing – My testimony of the awareness of the love of God in Memphis.
Song for Reflection – (Showed Mercy Me’s Video to "The Love of God")
