• Genesis 4:1-9 (NIV)
[1] Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man." [2] Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. [3] In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. [4] But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, [5] but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
[6] Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? [7] If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
[8] Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let’s go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
[9] Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don’t know," he replied. "Am I my brother’s keeper?"
INTRODUCTION:
I had days that I just wanted to kill him! My brother is five years younger than me and half my size (well he’s little but not that little). I stand about eight inches taller than Doug and out weigh him by at least forty pounds. When we were kids our difference in size was even more noticeable. Like all sibling rivalries we had our moments; Doug would sometime say or do something that I didn’t like and we would be off to the races. You see what Doug lacked in size he made up for in speed. When he knew I was angry with him he would start running; he was as quick as a rabbit and as nibble as a cat. I can still see him running circles around me in the front yard and darting around the corner of the house and in the back door to hide or find mom. I’m convinced that he is alive today because I just couldn’t catch him.
It’s time again for ALL IN THE FAMILY; this week we’re going to tackle sibling rivalries as we look at the first sibling rivalry between Cain and Able. What lessons can we learn to help brothers and sisters get along with each other, and how might our sibling relationships affect our relationships with other people? It’s my hope that we will all find something in the story of Cain and Able for everyone; yes, even us adults who may just need some help getting along with our “siblings” within the family of God.
But first a chance for you to laugh a little once again with my top twelve common words as redefined by parents with children.
12. DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
11. DEFENSE: what you’d better have around the yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
10. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
9. THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
8. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
7. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots, green beans, or spinach.
6. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
5. VERBAL: able to whine in words.
4. WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".
3. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
2. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything just the way we told them to.
1. OWWAH: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Well before we have any siblings start poking each other and the little one’s crying “Owwah!” we had better get started—ALL IN THE FAMILY; Sibling Rivalries.
I. Siblings are God’s gift to each other.
• Genesis 4:1-2 (NIV)
[1] Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man." [2] Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
1. The family you are born into is not just a matter of chance; it is a gift from God.
a) Eve understood something that many of us in the 21st century have forgotten; CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM GOD.
b) The birth of a child is not just a matter of biology! We think we have it all figured out. Children are not just the by-products of reproduction. God is the author of life and it is the Lord who gives each of us life.
• Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)
[13] You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. [14] Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.
c) Too many people see children as a liability, but God gives children as a heritage, an inheritance to be treasured; children are a reward!
• Psalm 127:3 (NIV)
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
d) Now if children are a gift to their parents it just makes sense that siblings are a gift to each other. The world would be a very lonely place if God did not give us a family that would love us unconditionally.
ILLUSTRATION: Susie and I not only believe that our children are gifts from the Lord; we have taught them that they are gifts to each other. As parents of five children, one practical way we taught this lesson is by saying, “Love never divides; love always multiplies.” We don’t love one of our kids more than we do others; our love grows deeper and wider everyday with more and more love for each of them. As a parent I have no greater joy than to see that my kids love and appreciate each other. Why do they do that? They have learned to love each other by following our example.
2. God doesn’t give us junk! God gives us the very best!
• James 1:17 (NIV)
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
So the first thing we learn about siblings is that they are a gift to each other from God; second:
II. Siblings are different from each other.
• Genesis 4:2 (NIV)
. . . Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.
1. The family would be a very boring place if Mom, Dad and all the kids were all exactly alike. GOD MADE US INDIVIDUALS!
a) Children are not clones or copies of their parents. Children have different gifts and abilities—likes and dislikes. Let’s face it sometimes these God given differences are the cause of sibling rivalries.
b) It is true that some of the fiercest sibling rivalries are between siblings that are close in age, and it may be that some of the fighting is caused by things they share in common, but many times siblings will exploit each other’s differences. Let’s face it if I’m going to make fun of you or pick on you about something, then I’m going to find something that you can’t turn around and use against me; I’m going to exploit the differences that God made between the two of us.
• Romans 12:6 (MsgB)
Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
c) We are different! Instead of trying to be something you’re not or tearing down someone who is different from you, JUST BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE. It is when we are the person God made us to be, and not trying to be like someone else, that God is most pleased with us. So be the very best you that you can be for God.
2. All that we are and ever will be is a gift from God.
a) Paul had to deal with some “sibling rivalries” within God’s family, the church at Corinth.
• 1 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT)
What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?
b) So why should we brag and boast about what we can do that others can’t? Why put our siblings or others down because we feel inferior to them? It’s time to just learn to be who God made us to be and instead of trying to make others to be like “me,” we need to encourage them to be the best “you” that they can be.
Siblings are a gift to each other from God; siblings are different from each other, and third:
III. Siblings learn to relate to God together.
I know not all of us came from Christian homes; some of you may have found you way to God apart from you parents and siblings. But even parents who have no faith in God teach their children something about what they think about God and their need or lack of need for God. Faith within most families is common to all members of the family; thus siblings learn to relate to God together. I’ve even watched families that have one believing and one non-believing parent. In most circumstances like that the non-believing parent (usually the father) tells his kids to go to church with their mom, but in time what he taught his children (and especially his sons) by his actions creates a conflict within their lives; many will leave the church and live just like their non-believing parent. It’s hard to overcome what children learn about faith in God at home from their parents; it’s hard—not impossible.
• Genesis 4:3-4 (NIV)
[3] In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. [4] But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. . .
1. The story of two brothers illustrates how they came to know God through the common experience within their family.
a) We are not told a lot about Cain and Able. We can only speculate and read between the lines as to how these two boys would have grown up together with the rest of their family.
b) What the Bible really shows us is how quickly sin multiplied and grew within the lives of men. The seed of sin that began in chapter 3 with what may seem like Adam and Eve’s harmless disobedience to God by eating a piece of fruit is now full grown and harvested in the lives of their children as Cain becomes angry and murders his brother Able.
c) The Bible tells us “In the course of time” Cain and Able brought offerings before the Lord. How did they come to do this? I believed they learned how to offer sacrifices from their father Adam who had learned from God when Adam and Eve’s sinned in the garden.
Cain and Able are not just a couple of teen-age boys offering sacrifices; I believe they are men who have now have families of their own (when God punishes Cain for his sin he takes his wife with him). We mistakenly get the idea that there was only a handful of people on the earth when this happened, but Cain feared that someone would find him and kill him for what he had done. The family of Adam and Eve had multiplied just as God had told them to replenish the earth.
So with the passage of time Cain and Able now had families of their own and took the position to offer sacrifices unto the Lord on behalf of their families just as they had watched and learned from the example of their father. But the outcome of their offerings was very different. This is why God can tell Cain that his offering would be accepted if he did what was right; in other words if Cain followed the pattern or example shown to him by his father then his offering would be accepted.
d) Children learn to worship and relate to God first and best from their parents! Parents have the responsibility to train their children to know God in a personal way. It is not the role of the church to provide the primary religious instruction for children; the church is to assist parents by reinforcing what children have already learned at home. Don’t expect the church to undo in a couple of hours each week what you have taught your children the other 166 hours of the week. It is within the family that children will learn together from their parents how to relate to God.
• Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (MsgB)
[6] Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you [7] and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. [8] Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; [9] inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.
2. God responds to us INDIVIDUALLY. It’s not who your parents are, or who your siblings might be that matters. What counts is your personal relationship with God.
• Genesis 4:4-5 (NIV)
[4] . . . The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, [5] but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
a) Some want to argue that it was just Cain’s attitude or motive that was wrong; they will point to the grain offerings instituted under the law and point to Hebrews 11 that says “By faith Able offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did.” I’m not going to argue the importance of faith; yes Cain had a faith problem; that’s because I believe he also had an obedience problem.
b) I see Cain doing something new. Remember we are in Genesis 4 here; this is early on in the history of the human race. There is no nation of Israel, no tabernacle, no priesthood; it’s very possible that there are no daily offerings being made to the Lord. The only other sacrifice recorded thus far in scripture is the shedding of blood when God killed an animal to cover Adam and Eve’s nakedness. I believe that through that event Adam learned the importance of a blood sacrifice for the covering of sin. And that is why God did not look on Cain’s sacrifice with favor; Cain’s offering lacked the shedding of blood.
• Hebrews 9:22 (NLT)
Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.
3. God showed Cain a way of escape from the sin that was knocking on his heart’s door.
• Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)
[6] Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? [7] If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
a) God dealt with Cain personally.
• 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
b) We learn how to relate to God as siblings within the common environment of our family, but God will deal with us as individuals. We can’t make excuses and blame our situation on our parents or our siblings. I am personally accountable to God; you are individually accountable to God for how you live your life.
4. Why is it so important that children learn to relate to God? Our relationship with God is the foundation upon which we build all other relationships.
Siblings are a gift to each other from God; siblings are different from each other; siblings learn to relate to God together, and finally:
IV. Sibling rivalries teach us how to relate with other people.
• Genesis 4:8 (NIV)
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let’s go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
1. Some of the greatest pain can be caused within our family relationships. Why is it that our parents and sibling, those who should love us the most, can cause us the most pain?
a) It’s a good thing Cain didn’t go out and treat everyone as he had his brother Able; if he had the history of the human race would have been very short and none of us would be here today! Actually there is evidence that Cain learned from this experience and the punishment the Lord placed upon him.
• Genesis 4:17 (NIV)
Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it after his son Enoch.
b) Cain named his son Enoch which means instructed, dedicated or initiated especially in sacred or holy things. You might remember that there was another Enoch who walked with God and then because of his righteous life was taken to be with God. It seems that Cain did not want to have a repeat of what had happened with his brother Able. Through his pain Cain learned how to relate with other people. It’s just unfortunate that he had not learned this lesson before it was too late and his brother’s blood was crying out from the ground.
2. Yes, I am my brother and my sister’s keeper!
• Genesis 4:9 (NIV)
Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don’t know," he replied. "Am I my brother’s keeper?"
a) Can I overstate the obvious? If Cain had been in right relationship with God he would have not killed his brother! It was because Cain’s relationship with God was broken and out of balance that in turn he became jealous of his brother and in his anger killed him.
b) Do you want to help your children overcome sibling rivalries? Do you kids want to stop fighting with your brothers and sisters? The first and most important step is to have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Having a good relationship with God will affect every other relationship you have.
• Malachi 2:10 (MsgB)
Don’t we all come from one Father? Aren’t we all created by the same God? So why can’t we get along? Why do we desecrate the covenant of our ancestors that binds us together?
c) Why can’t we get along with each other? Because we have broken faith with God!
• 1 John 4:7-12 (NLT)
[7] Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. [8] But anyone who does not love does not know God—for God is love.
[9] God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. [10] This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
[11] Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. [12] No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.
Siblings are a gift to each other from God; siblings are different from each other; siblings learn to relate to God together, and sibling rivalry teaches us how to get along with other people.
