• Exodus 20:3-17 (NIV)
[3] You shall have no other gods before me.
[4] You shall not make for yourself an idol. . .
[7] You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. . .
[8] Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. . .
[12] Honor your father and your mother. . .
[13] You shall not murder.
[14] You shall not commit adultery.
[15] You shall not steal.
[16] You shall not give false testimony . . .
[17] You shall not covet.
INTRODUCTION:
Are the 10 commandments the still valid for today? According to a March 2007 Newsweek poll 82% of Americans consider themselves a Christian and 91% believe in God.1 While this may sound good, only 9% of all born again adults and just 51% of pastors hold to a Biblical worldview—to believe that the Bible has absolute moral truth.2 For the record you need to know that I’m a part of that 51% that hold to a Biblical worldview. Yet such statistics cause me to wonder if more than one in 10 of you accept the Bible as authoritative in your daily life. I read somewhere that only 40% of Americans believe in five out of 10 of the Ten Commandments (I wonder which five). Are you among the minority of Americans who would accept the Ten Commandments as relevant for today? The Ten Commandments are foundational to our lives. We want to claim the blessing of God without following God’s basic plan. God has not established these commandments to prohibit our freedom, rather these commandments are given to lead us into God’s blessing.
(1 http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070402/26658_Poll:_9_of_10_Americans_Believe_in_God;_Nearly_Half_Rejects_Evolution.htm 2http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdate&BarnaUpdateID=156)
What has caused people to not have a Biblical worldview and to edit the Ten Commandments to please one’s self? Maybe it’s not just the preacher you listen to. A study of 104 leading television writers and executives conducted by the center for media and public affairs found that Hollywood’s views run far from the mainstream of public opinion. For instance while 85% of Americans believe adultery is wrong only 49% of T V’s writers and executives do. Only 59% of Americans believe a woman has a right to an abortion compared to 97% of Hollywood’s executives. Only 4% of Americans claim no religious affiliation but 45% of the TV writers and executives have no religious affiliation. (Reported in Newsweek 7/20/92) Where are you finding your world view, at church or from the TV?
It’s no wonder that we are inundated with messages about sex that are contrary to god’s seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.” Warning this sermon is rated R. R for Real that is, or maybe I should say Relevant.
This morning were going to take a closer look at the seventh commandment, “you shall not commit adultery.” FAMILY MATTERS (not the TV show by that name). Family matters to God. The family is the cornerstone or foundation of our society. If our families fall apart so too will our communities and nation. In the same way the owner’s Manual of our car instructs us in the proper care and maintenance of our vehicle so too the bible is our Manual for life. Therefore, we’re going to look at what the bible teaches about marriage focusing on the PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE, the PRIORITY OF MARRIAGE and PURITY IN MARRIAGE. (If you’re counting you’ll find seven P’s tucked away within these three main points to help you have a successful marriage and family.)
I. THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE.
1. Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP.
a) A healthy marriage begins with the understanding that marriage is designed by God. God has a purpose for your marriage. As we’ll see the purpose of your marriage has three essential parts and each comes in a specific order as designed by God. The first and foundational element of every marriage is PARTNERSHIP.
• Genesis 2:18 NIV
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
b) If you are familiar with the story of creation then you know that Adam was already productive without Eve. God had given Adam the job of caring for the garden and in addition to that Adam had the responsibility to name all the animals. Adam had already gone to work doing what god required of him, but God knew that Adam was not complete with out Eve. The Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
c) Guys we need to understand this dynamic and purpose of our marriage relationship. We may enjoy our work and have a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment with a job well done, but our job or work will leave us emotionally empty. We need a companion or a life partner so we do not go through life emotionally incomplete. Adam enjoyed an unbroken fellowship with god, but the lord knew that Adam also needed the hand of his wife to hold throughout the journey of life. God never intended for man four for a woman to live alone.
d) Notice too that when God created Eve He said nothing about her being made as of baby factory. The first and most important reason she was created was to be Adams partner. God made eve as “a helper suitable for him.” The woman was made as a help meet for the man, that is, corresponding to him or his counterpart—the woman is like him mentally, physically and spiritually. The Hebrew includes the word help which is also used in relationship to God. God is never thought of as subordinate or inferior. The woman is equal to the man; she is not subordinate to him because she is his helper. From the very beginning the bible presents woman as equal to man.
e) When God created Eve He put Adam to sleep and took a rib from his side with which to make a woman. She was not taken from man’s HEAD to be full of pride and rule over him. She was not taken from man’s MOUTH to talk too much. She was not taken from and SHOULDERS to carry his burdens. She was not taken from man’s HAND to become a busybody she was not taken from man’s FEET to wander away and live alone or to be trampled upon by the man. Instead the woman was taken from HIS RIB—near the man’s heart to be loved by him, from under his arm to be protected by him, and from his side to walk together throughout life’s journey.
f) God designed a marriage as a lifetime partnership. We live in a day and age in which changing partners is as easy as changing a pair of shoes. Many couples will just hook up for the night with no thought of a long-term relationship. Others may choose to live together and yes even share the same bed to find out if they are compatible. The message of our culture and Hollywood speaks loud and clear; marriage is outdated and unnecessary. Unfortunately Hollywood is just wrong. Living together does not increase the chances of a marriage been long lasting or successful. In fact those who live together before marriage will separate and divorce in far greater numbers and those who choose to get married first.
f) Marriage is intended first and foremost as a PARTNERSHIP between a man and a woman, a partnership that works best when the husband and wife are joined together in a partnership with God.
2. Marriage is intended for PLEASURE.
a) Notice the progression, the partnership of marriage brings pleasure. In other words before the kids come along mom and dad are intended to have fun together. This is specifically found in how Adam responds when Eve is brought to him.
• Genesis 2:22-25 NIV
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ’woman,’ for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
b) Adam begins by saying, “this is now a bone of my bones.” The Hebrew word for “this is now,” could loosely be translated “WOW!” I like to loosely paraphrase what Adam said this way. When he sought Eve for the first time he said, “Wow what a woman!” that marriage is intended for pleasure is also evident that in what Adam says about Eve begins with poetry. Adam’s heart is swept away with love for the wife god brings to him and plain words cannot express what he feels inside. So Adam expresses his pleasure with poetry. “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
c) The pleasure a husband and wife find together in marriage also comes with RESPONSIBILITY.
ILLUSTRATION: In the “Peanuts” comic strip Charlie Brown tells Linus, “My grandpa and grandma have been married for 50 years.” Linus says, “They’re lucky aren’t they.” But Charlie brown responds saying, “Grandma says it isn’t luck—it’s skill.” Now that Susie and I have celebrated 25 years of marriage I must agree. Together we have enjoyed the pleasure of our marriage relationship but with pleasure comes responsibility.
d) Too many young people enter a marriage expecting pleasure without responsibility, but real pleasure is the byproduct of maintaining aid disciplined and responsible marriage commitment. When a young couple enjoys the pleasure of a sexual relationship without the responsibility of being committed to each other in marriage they have opened the door to much heartache and pain.
• Proverbs 10:23 NLT
Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible.
e) The purpose of marriage is threefold: marriage establishes a lifetime PARTNERSHIP that is intended for PLEASURE, which then brings us to the third purpose of marriage.
3. Marriage results in PROCREATION.
a) Today far too many couples want pleasure without a partnership and if their pleasure should happen to cause procreation then they want to eliminate this purpose altogether.
• Genesis 1:28 NLT
Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground."
• Genesis 3:20 NIV
Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.
b) All of us know how babies are made (if you don’t have a talk with your mom and dad—parents should be the primaries sex educators of our children and not the schools). God established the marriage relationship that a husband and wife should be partners first and parents second.
• Psalm 127:3 MsgB
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
The purpose of marriage partnership pleasure and procreation. Let’s make sure to keep them in the proper order because of the priority of the marriage relationship.
II. THE PRIORITY (or great importance) OF MARRIAGE.
• Genesis 2:24 NIV
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
1. The priority of marriage makes a PROMISE OF DEVOTION.
a) Marriage is not just the contract into which a man and a woman agree to live together and share a checking account. Marriage is a covenant relationship. The contract is simply a legal agreement sanctioned by the state. With any good lawyer you can find a way out of any contract, especially marriage.
b) The covenant relationship is one which is to be broken only by death. When a couple joins hands in a church and repeats their marriage vows, these are not just promises made before a gathering of people. The wedding vow is a promise of devotion made before God.
2. The priority of marriage is PERSISTANT—it never quits.
a) When a husband and wife are united together in marriage God changes the way in math works. No longer does “one plus one equal two.” In marriage “one plus one equals one.” The two become one flesh.
• Matthew 19:3-6 NIV
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4 "Haven’t you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ’made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
b) The bible says that God hates divorce. Marriage is a covenant relationship made with PROMISES OF DEVOTION that are PERSISTANT until the very end. So we’ve looked at the purpose of marriage and the priority of marriage. Now let’s go on to purity and marriage.
III. PURITY IN MARRIAGE.
• Genesis 2:25 NIV
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
• Exodus 20:14 NIV
You shall not commit adultery.
1. Purity PRESERVES the marriage relationship.
a) It is very difficult to preserve a marriage that has experienced sexual betrayal. Adultery is not simply a sexual relationship outside the bonds of marriage. Adultery is the breaking of one’s marriage of one’s marriage vows by which a husband or wife puts another person alongside or ahead of their spouse.
b) In the same way that idolatry takes something less than God and puts it in the place of God adultery puts another person in the place of one’s spouse. We must remember to always keep our spouse has the central and most important relationship that we have with any person. If we allow anyone to come between us and our husband or wife we have committed adultery regardless of whether we have gone to bed with them or not.
• Matthew 5:27-30 NIV
27 "You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
c) Every action is preceded by a thought. Jesus is not just talking about a passing thought. As Martin Luther said, “You can’t keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” When we entertain a thought and dwell on it, it grows in our imagination. No one wakes up one morning and decides to commit adultery. Adultery is the fruit of lustful thoughts that yield a harvest of sin later.
ILLUSTRATION: The story is told of two Buddhist monks walking him drenching thunderstorm when they came to a stream flooding its banks. A beautiful young Japanese woman stood nearby afraid of the rushing currents. In characteristic Buddhist compassion one of the monk said “Can I help you?” The woman replied, “I must get to the other side.” The monk picked her up put her on his back and carried her across the swollen river. The two monks then continued their journey to the monastery. Once inside his companions said, “You must urge yourself for your immorality. As Buddhist monks we have vowed to not even look at a woman much less touch her body, but you have done both as you carried that woman across the river.” The first monk replied, “My brother, I put that woman down on the other side of the river but you are still carrying her in her your mind.”
d) The battle for sexual purity within our marriages must be won in our thought lives. Guard your heart and mind in order to live a godly life.
e) Pornography is the seduction of your mind. Jesus goes so far as to say that if your I causes you to soon cut it out or if your hand causes you to see and cut it off. Jesus is not endorsing the mutilation of one’s body. Rather Jesus is emphasizing the importance of cutting sin out of our hearts. The heart is the seedbed of sin. It’s no wonder that call encourages us to have a proper thought life.
• Philippians 4:8 NIV
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.
f) Purity preserves our marriage but purity must be practiced.
2. The PRACTICE of purity in marriage.
a) The practice of purity begins as we ate knowledge that we have been united with Christ. We are members of his body therefore we must live a holy life.
• 1 Corinthians 6:15-18 NIV
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
• 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NIV
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The Family Matters of Marriage
– the PURPOSE
Partnership
Pleasure
Procreation
– the PRIORITY
Promise of Devotion
Persistent
– PURITY
Preserves
Practice
