SE090907
3QUELS
1 Shrek - Popularity
TITLE SLIDE
If you went to our Visioncast retreat 2 weeks ago, you remember our speaker Tim Bergmann, buddy of mine from college. Well, last month he tells me about a bunch of pictures of himself with these really cool cars. Their church did a fund raiser for poverty and AIDS relief in Africa and someone had the idea of doing a car show.
Here’s one of those pictures… (SLIDE, BULLET)
To see these pictures however, I had to get a Facebook account to go to Tim’s Facebook page which is where he had posted them. How many of you have heard of Facebook? See, I had heard of MYSPACE, but Facebook I didn’t know about until just a few weeks ago.
I said, "Tim I’m a little dubious about getting a Facebook account. Myspace seems to have a lot of inappropriate pop-up ads and sexual overtones." No, he said, Facebook is like a MYSPACE alternative, much cleaner.
OK, so I get a Facebook page to see the cool car pics. And then I get what all the hubbub is about… I mean, it’s addictive. Why? Because it’s all about everyone’s favorite subject: THEMSELVES!
So I sign up… I want to keep this simple, but I have to input all this information about myself, just to see Tim’s pics. And of course, as I was signing up, I didn’t just want him to have a cool pic, so I had to upload my own pic,
So here’s me on Facebook. (BULLET)
Now, don’t we just look like a couple of jetsetters! Ha! If only we posted our annual salaries!
- That’s a 1.2 million dollar McLaren Tim is standing by as if he owns it… (no he didn’t Photoshop himself in.) The owner probably made Tim sign a wavier just to stand that close to it… and
- That’s a rented snowmobile I’m sitting on by my friend’s mountain cabin.
So this is the love/hate thing I have with online communities: they’re fun, but false. I mean, come on, look at these pictures! But I couldn’t stop with just a picture and a name. No, you’ve got to give date of birth, then marriage status… but there you have 29 options:
- in a relationship
- in an OPEN relationship
- single
- engaged
- married OR, my favorite:
- it’s complicated.
- (I thot, could I put married AND it’s complicated??)
Now, some of you are thinking, "What’s the point?” Well, it struck me just how relevant and immediate this all is to issue we’re talking about today of popularity and inner beauty. Think about it.
- You craft this version of yourself to put on display for a bazillion web-users to judge you by.
- Think of how we do this for people we do not know or will never meet
- What is so important about projecting an image into the Ethernet anyhow?
I could understand how addictive it can be, because for the first time for some of us, we have CONTROL over the image others see. I can appear rich, famous, smart, talented, and more moral than I really am. And all this helps us recapture a little thing we all hoped for in Jr and Sr High. It’s a desire that went underground but never really went away and that is, the desire to be POPULAR.
You say, Rick, it’s not about that at all. It’s about sharing ideas and expressing yourself. Well, maybe that too, but I have the visual evidence that it IS about being POPULAR. Check this out:
BULLET – FACEBOOK
Here’s this thing you sign up for on FACEBOOK called, TOP FRIENDS. When I clicked on this, this is the screen that comes up. See these drop down menus – COOL APS and SUPERPOKE. But this word comes up front and center:
POPULARITY
Lets read, “NOBODY lists you as a top friend yet, Rick.” ZERO. Then, I actually get my popularity rated!! They’re going to tell me how popular I am. They have this rating system and my POPULARITY LEVEL officially is:
WALLFLOWER!
If I’m really ambitious, I can go for that next level of popularity – says right here:
DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
That’s exciting! I could be a diamond in the rough! I’m wondering, is there anything below WALLFLOWER? – is that like the Pocket Protector level of popularity? Nerd level? But no fear, at the bottom it tells me the easy path out of my WALLFLOWER-NESS:
invite friends to become more popular!
See it’s that simple! Here I was thinking that I had to do things like, be a friend, build relationships, actually talk, listen. Too complicated! Just invite anyone to be a TOP FRIEND and I will be popular!
(BULLET)
While we’re on the topic, here’s a thing called the Popularity Dialer. I’m not making this up. It’s an automated system that calls up your cell phone while you’re with other people to give the impression of popularity. Their motto is, “fake a phone call, easily and credibly!”
Here’s a quote from their website:
While MySpace is great for manipulating one’s persona on the net, the Popularity Dialer allows its users to forge social currency and hipness in real time. With the Popularity Dialer, you can gallivant around town, looking like you’ve got buckets of friends who are dying to hang out with you at the coolest spots. Every time a Popularity Dialer call is placed to your cell, you will appear more awesomely popular. And because people are drawn to those who appear popular, you might actually really become popular.
Look at the lengths we go to be popular! To be loved and admired by…
(SLIDE) THE CROWD.
And Christianity has always had stiff warnings about structuring your life to be about the crowd. The Bible says,
- (BULLET) Deut 23:1 Don’t go along with the crowd in doing evil and don’t fudge your testimony in a case just to please the crowd.
o It’s saying, to become or remain popular, we can be swayed in matters of justice. Now think about that. Not just in court, but at work. With friends. Who had to get pushed under a bus so you could keep looking good? (Wilfred and Paul)
- Ez.13:17 God says: (BULLET) ’Will you kill the souls of my people, use living souls to make yourselves rich and popular? You have profaned me among my people just to get ahead yourselves, used me to make yourselves look good?
o This was a word of warning to religious leaders. We have this temptation to use God and his name to enhance our own position with the crowd. Don’t do it, God says.
- Luke 6:26 Jesus said it most clearly:
o (BULLET) There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular. MES
- Then the most devastating biblical example of popularity is from a guy name Pontius Pilate. The Bible says:
o (BULLET) But with loud shouts the crowd insistently demanded that he [Jesus] be crucified, (and here’s a stirring description of Pilate’s addiction to popularity) …and their shouts prevailed.
Pilate knew Jesus was innocent of any crime, but he wanted to be popular. He wanted to be loved by EVERYONE.
Now, it’s not like popularity per se is wrong. King David was popular and the Bible speaks highly of him. Jesus was popular, for a while. I think popularity is like being tall. It’s not inherently evil to be tall. In fact, if you’re tall, there’s things you can do that others can’t. It’s a power you can use. BUT, it also has some liabilities.
So here’s a question: should one desire to be taller? I mean you could desire it, many people do, but it’s kind of silly right? You’re as tall as you’re going to be. Jesus asked, can you add inches to your stature by worrying about it? No.
Now the bald truth is that you CAN make yourself more popular by worrying about it. But that’s the question. Is it something to worry about? One of the reason nerds are nerds is because frankly, they don’t care enough about being popular. They don’t realize popularity is something you have to work at.
Question is, should we work at it? The Bible says, no.
If you have it, you could use it. Bono talked about that at a church leaders conference he spoke at last year. He said: “What else are you going to do with thing called ’celebrity’...it’s absolutely ridiculous that it is valued more than being a teacher or more than being a mother...but it is currency and I decided that I was going to spend mine.” And he is spending the currency created by his popularity to speak for AIDS and poverty in Africa.
But POPULARITY might just as easily drag you to compromise in ways that displease God and can tank your life. What has been done in your life in the name of retaining or pursuing popularity? I mean, friends, lets be honest about it.
- MAYBE there was conflict you avoided because you wanted everyone to like you. The dread fear of being unliked by the crowd caused you to avoid a fight that you needed to engage in… but you backed away. And maybe like the Bible warns us about, souls got used. Someone got hurt. Justice for not-so-popular, was denied. OR
- MAYBE there was a sexual compromise you made, in order to be well liked. You found the intoxicating power of your charm and it was so exhilarating, you decided to give away what belonged only to God and your spouse. And now you have unclean memories and wounds – because you wanted to be popular.
- MAYBE there was a truth that did not get spoken, a spiritual truth that needed to be shared, maybe a moral stand needed to be taken, someone needed, frankly, to be confronted and you pandered, you lied, you sat down instead of standing up. And now someone thinks you stand for things you don’t stand for. Someone was coddled along in a deception, because you wanted to be popular with them.
- MAYBE a good friend was dumped in favor of a more influential friend, or powerful friend, or popular friend.
Friends, it’s not evil to be popular, but ordering your life around the pursuit of it, can lead to loads of evil. Soul sucking, relationship breaking stuff.
So instead shouldn’t we purse better things? That’s what I want to leave you with today. Two bits of wisdom from this book of LIVING wisdom, the best selling book in human history, the book Jesus endorsed explicitly. These verses from the Bible give us things to pursue in PLACE of popularity.
1. (SLIDE) PURSUE INNER BEAUTY INSTEAD OF OUTER BEAUTY
1 Peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
I mention this principle because the pursuit of physical attractiveness is so closely tied with the pursuit of popularity. The two go hand in hand. If I’m attractive on the outside, I’m popular.
Now we are all attracted to beauty. They’ve done studies with babies that say they are drawn to look at pictures of attractive people. I was just reading the paper this week: in scientific study, people were asked about all the things they were looking for in a mate. But, in a speed dating test, many, mostly the men, preferred the attractive women and paid little attention to things on their list.
Are we just superficial? Lots of study has been done about this. Scientists have tried to attach attractiveness to some kind of evolutionary requirement… but in the end, it seems to me that this is one of the things about being made in God’s image: we have an aesthetic flair.
There’s no purpose, we’re just hardwired for beauty.
Now the thing is, there are many kinds of beauty. There’s
- physical beauty, there’s
- beautiful cars, there’s
- beautiful art work,
- beautiful animals,
- beautiful character
- beautiful performances,
- beautiful sunsets,
- beautiful plays in athletics.
Now of all these kinds of beauty that we can appreciate, only one goes away as we get older. The bible says,
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting…
So as with any wise person, any wise investor of life energy, where ought we to invest our time and energy? In the things that last. Inner beauty, God says, lasts. A person who is not fixated on their outer appearance, who is working with God’s help on becoming a person…
- of character
- of integrity,
- of truth,
- of humility,
- of compassion,
- of good humor,
- of love and kindness and patience…
- that person is becoming what is of great worth in God’s eyes. BEAUTIFUL!
And of course, there is a connection between the peace and security that comes from God’s work and how people perceive our attractiveness. We’ve all seen this as a fact: you see a person and you say, this person is a TEN! And then you start to get to know that person and that number starts to drop like a rock!
I’m not being sentimental – it’s a fact. Beauty is only skin deep. True story, a teacher brought home science tests to grade and she started to read some of the results to her husband. The subject was, “the Human Body” and the first question was, “Name one of the major functions of the skin.” One child wrote:
"To keep people who look at you from throwing up."
See, beauty is only skin deep. Under that everyone is really, really ugly. Seriously, what should you PURSUE? Set your heart on?
Friends, this doesn’t mean we go home and stop showering. It’s just what do you pursue? Just think of time management.
- How much time do you spend working on how attractive your outsides are, from shopping for clothes, having just the right gear, to beauty regimens, and
- how much time do you spend working on your insides.
How do you do that?
- Pray. Develop a relationship with God. He’s dying to have one with you – he sent his son, Jesus Christ to prove it. To transform you inside! PS 139 prayer.
- Read this Book. It’s not just wisdom, there’s power in these words to transform your character, making you more attractive within. If you have that…
Here’s a last discipline, my second point:
2. (SLIDE) PURSUE PEOPLE, NOT POSITION
(BULLET) Ro 12:16 Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position… NIV
Now, Greek is this wonderfully efficient language. This command is actually 8 words in the original text as Paul wrote it:
- No the high MIND
- BUT the low condescend.
You can see why we need good translators. English needs all sorts of filler words. So that it can read better like this:
Do not give your attention to the high ones, but be willing to carry on with the low ones.
I mention this because what’s lost in translation is how Paul sets these two words in opposition to each other to create a stark contrast:
- the HIGH and
- the LOW.
o (BULLET) With the first he says, DON’T mind your relationships with them. That means DON’T give your attention to relationships with popular people.
o (BULLET) And with the other we are told, Condescend. That’s a compound word, that means, BESIDE and CARRY. So quite literally he says, be willing to carry on with or in the vernacular, “hang”, with people who aren’t popular.
How often do we set our affection on “the high”? We want to hang with the people, get close to the people who matter, the people of substance! The people we perceive to be important. Don’t obsess about that, God says. The love of popularity is a trap!
- Why do you want to get close to those people?
- To use them to pull you up?
- To prop up a sagging sense of self.
- Friend, you must get that stuff from God.
How much horsepower do you put into being in that inner circle? How much sleep do you lose over NOT being in that inner circle? It’s a trap. Instead ask,
- Who do I have affinity with?
- Who has God placed naturally in my path?
- Who can I have a reciprocal relationship with – where there’s true give and take?
But, here’s the final challenge for us.
o “but be willing to associate with the person of low position.”
You know who that person is, right? You’d never say it, but you know who they are.
- That person who is socially lower on the ladder than you.
- That loser who has no friends on FACEBOOK.
Condescend to him, Paul says, carry on with him, literally HANG OUT with him.
Some of us are not social climbers, we’re content in our social circle, we have good friends, we’re not needing to be with special people to feel cool, or popular or important or valuable. But friends, there’s a step past that. God says, I DO want you to be a social climber, but the ladder works in two directions.
Be willing to climb down, God says. Now what does that mean for you? Different things for our situations:
- is it the Jr Hi student and you’re a senior high student? Climb down.
- Is it the single person and you’re married? Climb down.
- Is it the black person and you’re white? Climb down.
- Is it the white person and you’re black? Reach out your hand. What if people in this church were the first to cross racial divides in every situation?
- Is it the old person and you’re young?
- Is it the poor person and you’re rich?
- Is it the jobless person and you’re employed?
(BLACK) CONCLUSION
Friend, in Christ, we are children of God. As radically loved and accepted by him, our worth is there, not with the acceptance of the “right people”. And if we get a hold of that, we can start today:
- To replace the exhausting, vain pursuit of outer beauty with that of inner beauty
- To replace the selfish, insecure pursuit of people in high position with people in low position – and so show off the grace of God.
