If you want to gather honey, Don’t kick over the beehive.
Criticism is not an effective Motivator for Change
James 4:11-12
I got the seed thought for this message from Dale Carnegie’s 3 fundamental principles for dealing with People effectively.(Winning Friends and Influencing People) Then I went to the Word of God to see if it was true. The principle says when we criticize others to get them to change they get defensive and are less likely to change. The reason is that most people think they are really a good person deep down, no matter how bad they really are. To use a old saying (adage) “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”
Two Gun Crowley
On May 7, 1931 the most sensational manhunt in New York City came to a climax. After a two week search “Two gun Crowley- the killer who didn’t smoke or drink was trapped in his girlfriends apartment. 150 policeman laid siege to the apartment. The chopped holes in the roof to smoke out the cop killer with tear gas. 10,000 people watched as he fired back at the police from behind an overstuffed chair.
When he was finally captured the police commissioner declared that he was the most dangerous criminal in the history of New York who will kill at the drop of a feather. But how did Crowley regard himself. We know from the letter he wrote while in the apartment under bullet fire. “TO whom it may concern, “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one-one that would do nobody any harm”
He was being chased because a police man came up to a car where he and his girl were necking and asked for his license. With a word he drew his gun and shot the police man.
When he was sentenced to death in the electric chair, did he say, “This is what I get for killing people”. No he said, “This is what I get for defending myself.”
Al Capone, America’s most notorious Public enemy didn’t condemn himself. Instead he saw himself as a public benefactor -an unappreciated and misunderstood public benefactor. If these two wicked men didn’t blame themselves for anything-what about the people you and I come into contact with.
4:11
Don’t speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God’s law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it.
4:12
God alone, who made the law, can rightly judge among us. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to condemn your neighbor?
Matthew 7:1
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged.
7:2
For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. NLT
Romans 14:10 You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written: "’As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ’every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’" 12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
Examples Michael 2 Samuel 6:20-22
20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" 21 David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel--I will celebrate before the Lord. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor." 23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.
Davids brother 1 Samuel 17:28
17:28
When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, "Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle."
I The Command: (Judge Not)
I struggled with the difference between Judging we are not supposed to do and Fruit inspecting or discerning we must do. I think perhaps the difference is the speaking of what we think.
The Word has a wide range of meaning; judge “judicially, condemn, discern
1. It does not mean law courts and church trials.
2. It does not mean to forbid all judging of any kind, For God’s word requires it. “Don’t hang around angry people or you will become one, Don’t eat with greedy, immoral people.” “Beware of false prophets” We are told to make “right judgement” John 7:24
So some kinds of judging are legitimate and necessary.
The verb (word) here is the same as the James 4:11-12, and Romans 14:10-13. It means not to adopt a judgmental and critical attitude. Because out of the heart the mouth speaks. (Expositors Bible Commentary p183 vol. 8)
The Pharisees are an excellent example of what Jesus was warning against.
It is called “Faultfinding” in other places in Scripture (Jude 1:16
James 4:11-12
The word here is “speak against one another” not just “do not slander” To slander is to make false charges or misrepresentations that damages a persons reputation. The word here is broader than that. Katalaleite refers to any form of speaking against a person. What is said may be true in its content but harsh and unkind in the manner of its presentation. James is trying to stop a practice already in progress. His readers had fallen into the trap of criticizing one another. The law here is Lev 19:18 Love neighbor as yourself.
II Reasons for the Command
a. You are assuming God’s place
V12 In passing judgement the critic of his brother has usurped the position of authority that is God’s alone. He alone is qualified.
-Does not rule out civil courts and judges.
It is to root out the harsh, unkind, critical spirit that continually finds fault with others. P196 Expositors Bible Commentary. Vol 12
-You could be wrong, only God has all the information (details) that qualifies him to criticize.
b. You will rile up others who will give it back to you. James 4:1-4, Matthew 7:1
4:1
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?
4:2
You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
“We are often creatures of emotion more than logic”
Someone told the story. “While visiting a neighbor, five-year-old Andrew pulled out his kindergarten class picture and immediately began describing each classmate.”This is Robert; he hits everyone. This is Stephen. He never listens to the teacher. This is Mark. He chases us and is very noisy." Pointing to his own picture, Andrew commented, "And this is me. I’m just sitting here minding my own business."
c. It rarely is effective in producing the desired change.
Proverbs 27:15
A nagging wife is as annoying as the constant dripping on a rainy day. (NLT)
Criticism is usually futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and aroused resentment. D. Carnegie
You will get what you praise. Dr Richard Dobbins
BF Skinner p world famous psychologist, proved through experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn more much more rapidly and retain what it learns longer than an animal punished for bad behavior. He later discovered it also worked with humans. The scriptures show children must be punished for wrong to shape their character, but as adults praise is a greater motivator than punishment.
Lincoln
Illustration: A practicing lawyer loved to attack his opponents through scathing letters printed in newspapers. In 1842, he ridiculed the wrong man. James Shields did not take kindly to the anonymous writer who lampooned him in the Springfield Journal. Mr. Shields tracked down the attorney who had publicly embarrassed him and challenged him to a duel. The man was a writer, not a fighter, but he could not get out of the duel without losing his honor. He was given the choice of weapons and chose swords in hopes of using his long arms to his advantage. He trained with a West Point graduate as he prepared to fight to the death. On the appointed day he met Mr. Shields on a sandbar in the Mississippi River. At the last minute their seconds intervened and convinced the men to stop the duel. The lawyer returned to his practice as a changed man. Never again did he openly criticize anyone. In fact, years later when he heard his wife criticize the southern people of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln said, "Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances." Do you have a critical spirit? Lincoln did, but he changed. How to Win Friends and influence People, Dale Carnegie, 1981, p9-10
d. We all have a tendency to exaggerate the errors and failing of others while we tend to minimize our own weaknesses and failures. (Splinter in your brother eye, log in yours)
Illustration: In Charles Schulz’s "Peanuts" comic strip, Linus asks Lucy, "Why are you always so anxious to criticize me?" She answers, "I just think I have a knack for seeing other people’s faults." "What about your own faults?" asks Linus. Her response is, "I have a knack for overlooking them." -- Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997)
e. Criticism puts a stumbling block or obstacle is the way of another child of God. Roman 10:13
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
F. It can never be completely retracted once it is spoken
Conclusion: There is a better way.
When Ohio State Football team played poorly the first game against a weak Youngstown State team they could have easily criticized and blamed each other, but they didn’t. Their high powered running back Chris Wells couldn’t score from inside the one yard line to top off an awlful day for him. When asked if the short-yardage snafus were the fault of an offensive line breaking in two new starters, Wells exhibited his best move of the day by taking the high road.
"From my perspective, I didn’t do a good job, so put it on me. I’ll take the blame" said Wells,...
"I feel like I did a terrible job. I didn’t give my best performance. The fans, the team ... everybody deserves to get my best."
Chris Wells didn’t criticize the line for not blocking well enough and Kirk Barton in return didn’t blame Chris for not scoring. Brandon Saine ended up scoring the touchdown.
"We know (Saine) is a burner," right tackle and senior captain Kirk Barton said about the rookie from Piqua. "He stepped in and gave us another dimension. Between him and Beanie and Mo Wells, they’re a very capable backfield. I’m not sure what happened with Beanie at the goal line, but we’ve got to get those things fixed in practice."
You know both the line and the back will do there best for each other next time, because they didn’t criticize when they had the opportunity.
Ben Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so good at handling people that he was made American Ambassador to France. His secret, “I will speak ill of no man,..and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain-and most fools do.
“If you want to stir up resentment tomorrow and may continue across the decades and endure till death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism- no matter how certain we are that it is justified.” D. Carnegie page 14
George B. Johnston p6 Carnegie
Was a safety coordinator for an engineering company in Enid, OK. His job was to make sure that the employees wear the hard hats when they are on the job. He said whenever he came across workers not wearing their hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of the regulation and tell them they must comply. As a result they would reluctantly put them on until he left, and then take them off again.
He decided to take a different approach. The next time he found workers not wearing their hard hats, he asked if they were uncomfortable and did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.
Bob Hoover, a famous test piolet and performer at air shows, returned to his home area of San Deigo for an air show. However, at 300 feet in the air both engines stopped suddenly. By great skill he managed to land the plane, and although it was badly damaged, no one was hurt.
The first thing he did was inspect the airplanes fuel. Just as he suspected the WWII prop plane had been fueled with jet fuel instead of gasoline.
Upon returning to the airport he asked to see the mechanic who fueled the plane. The young man was sick with agony for his mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He had just caused the loss of an expensive plane and endangered the lives of three people.
You can imagine the angry tongue lashing he got from Hoover, but he didn’t. He didn’t scold or criticize him, but instead he put his arm around him and said, “To show you I’m sure that you will never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.” p 15 Carnegie
When all Jesus disciples forsook him when he was arrested he could have criticized them after the resurrection, but the record shows he never did. Do you want to be like Jesus.
