Review: Two weeks ago we discussed the character of a godly leader. Here are some principles:
Biblically effective leaders have confidence in God (2).
Biblically effective leaders have transparent lives (1,5).
Biblically effective leaders are loyal to the truth (3).
Biblically effective leaders are committed to God’s call (4).
Biblically effective leaders base their decisions on principles not polls or popularity (6).
This morning as we continue to consider leadership, we will look the behavior & goals of godly leaders.
Pray and read 1Thess 2:7-12
Let me state a foundational truth for all followers of Jesus Christ which applies to you child of God. Here it is: You are either right now a leader in some capacity or you should be in training to become one.
God has not called anyone in Christ to be a spectator, an observer or to sit on the bench. Therefore, any lesson on leadership is directly applicable to your life.
Bro. Lawrence lived almost 500 yrs ago and worked as a mere dish washer in a monastery for 30 yrs. He never married; he never sought nor received a promotion. Question: Does that sound like a leader? Maybe not in the eyes of the world but he was a leader in his intimacy w/ the Savior. His letters were put into a book and have a changed countless # of lives.
Being a leader does not mean being the boss. but allowing God to work through you to bring change to others.
God has called me and the other Elders to shepherd GBC which He purchased with His own blood. This means we are to encourage you in your faith, to guard you from false teachers, to admonish you when you fall into sin, to exhort you to follow us as we follow Christ and to train you to fulfill your ministry.
These are some big shoes to fill; It is important that we take this seriously; God has called us to be faithful leaders.
It is also important that you take this seriously; As y ou consider the Elders of Grace: George Jackson, Brian Frook, Richard Serrell, Bob Walsh, and me you should see something in our lives and goals that it worthy of following for it is your responsibility to follow us as we follow Christ.
Leadership requires big shoes or in my case sandals but when I as your pastor come to your house I leave my shoes at your door. B/c in your home, fathers, in your home parents, it is your responsibly before God to lead your children, to shepherd your family.
Now I am not saying that I cease to be your pastor, No, not at all. What I am saying is that first & foremost God has called you Fathers & commanded you parents to faithfully lead and protect your own families and it is our job to help and support you in that role.
Eph 6:4 “Fathers do not provoke your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Whose job is it -- FATHERS
Deut 6: 6ff These words which I have commanded you today, shall be in your heart & you shall teach them diligently to your children. -- who is supposed to teach the chidden?
1Tim 3:4,5 If I am not leading well at home then I am not qualified to shepherd a church.
Therefore, the home is the foundational place for the development & the practice of godly leadership & the Spirit uses the home as a Biblical model for all leaders in our text this morning.
All leaders should learn from this example for the ‘family’ they lead at church, work, school or home.
All parents should seek to live up to the behavior and goals listed for us.
A Mother’s role (7-9)
Gentle & Devoted
“As a nursing Mother” (7)
What an amazing picture -- A young mother sitting in a rocking chair; gently holding her precious little one close to her as the baby nurses.
This pictures a unique tenderness, a n intimacy that we fathers never experience. It is a gentle, bonding moment for both mother and child.
“Cherish” (7)
in Greek literally means - to keep warm. Isn’t that great. Even as time passes this bond remains.
Isaac is just learning to walk; which means he has that little monster walk down to a tee (demonstate). So Carol calls him Frankie -- little Frankenstein. Just yesterday, he was upset and he must find Mommy . But I was between him and Mommy; so I said, O Isaac Daddy love on you, And when he looked up and saw it was me he tucked in his arm and sidestepped around me (demonstrate); b/c there is just something about Mommy.
“Affectionately longing for you” (8)
One of the hardest things for a young mother to do is to leave her baby w/ a sitter.
A smile, a hug or a touch of her hand -- All of this communicates love & affection.
Leaders, if you are going to reach the heart of those who are following you - you need to show them that you love them.
“Impart to you ... the gospel” (8)
Don’t skip over this
Many times when we consider these verses we focus on the ‘but also’ missing the importance of the ‘not only’ - The gospel of Jesus Christ.
All that goes before is in preparation for ‘not only’ (2) & all that come after is in support of ‘not only’ (13)
You see, This ‘not only’ is the foundation and goal of Paul’s love for them.
Mother’s give your children the gospel; leaders make sure that the gospel is the foundation & aim of your leadership for that is the greatest expression of love.
I was talking with a man the other day who said, “It must be hard to be a pastor trying to please everyone” In other words, meeting everyone’s expectaions. He is right The Elders at Grace will never fully meet you expectations but you can know that we love you as we faithfully share the gospel in word and deed?
“Preached (Herald) to you the gospel” (9)
What does it mean to be a Herald?
Take the message from the king and give it to the people.
Stand up speak up then shut up
Hard-work ing & Self-sacrificing
“Laboring night and day” (9)
The first thing that Carol does when she gets up is work (unloads the dishwasher, feeds the baby, prepares breakfast) and the last thing that she does before she crawls into bed is work. (usually that has to laundry).
Mothers labor night and day as your cook, your nurse, your maid, your sanitation engineer, your teacher, your coach - Much of this behind the scenes without waving a banner.
gave “our own lives” for you (8)
Motherhood in it’s very nature is self-sacrificing.
That means if you are going to be a mother then there will be other desires & other goals that must be sacrificed.
I was listening to an interview w/ a older actress who recently won an academy award. In the interview she was asked, “Do you ever regret not having children?” Without hesitation she said, Not al all; I am glad that I didn’t have any children b/c if I had then I wouldn’t of had the freedom to do what I want nor would I look like this”
You may not like what she said but one thing can be said for it, It is true!!
Mothers pay a high cost (physically, socially, personally) for having and caring for children. It is a self-sacrificing role.
Mothers give away their lives for the lives of their children. And so should leaders.
Paul gave his life away for those he was leading.
Jesus, our chief shepherd, our leader and master our king said,
Mr 10:45 “the Son of man did not come to be served but to serve and give his life a ransom for many.”
Leadership requires hard work and self-sacrifice.
Conclusion
Mothers, The Holy Spirit has set a high standard for your role, one that is to be copied by all.
Are you living up to this high standard?
What changes can you make in your life to fulfill this pattern in Scripture?
Leaders & future leaders,
Are you using these motherly qualities in the role where God has called you to serve?
At church, on the job, at school, with your friends.
Be a leader, God hasn’t called any of you to sit on the bench or your couch.
Next week we will look at the father’s role as a leader
The Father’s Role
Good role model (10)
“How devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves”
Bottomline: this is talking about integrity and this virtue is in short supply in our pulpits and homes.
Like I said at the begining -- there should be something in the lives of the Elders and fathers that is worthy of following b/c boys will walk and talk like their fathers.
“blameless” Do not misunderstand that. Blamelessness in Scripture never means sinlessness. Paul did not think of himself as sinless. What he means is: He is honest. He has dealt with all his sin. Aware of it, he judges it and does something about it. He does not cover it up b/c he knows that God tests the hearts (4).
Knowing the importance of confessing sin a young father takes time every evening to consider his day and confess his sin. I exaggerated a story to my firends to make is sound better -- do not write that I exaggerated, but that I lied to my friends. I looked too long at the beauty of a young lady today. I don’t write it as a little mistake but that I allowed filthly lust & envy to control my mind I want to be hard on myself. I want to put it down in the worse possible way so I will face & judge these sinful tendencies in myself. Next, I give thanks that I am forgiven for everyone of these things. And one by one I cross them out, and write, ’forgiven, forgiven. That is the idea of blamelessness.
Instructor and protector. (11)
our perpensity - critcal instead of encouraging; harsh instead of kind;
Encouragement says, "You are doing better. I can see changes. You are going to make it. I am with you. Keep on." Encouragement is pointing out the positive values of thing.
What is the one trait that evidences distinctive manliness? Let’s see if we can’t find an answer.
Go to 1 Corinthians chapter 16 :13. I mean, how act like men...how do men act?
Would you please notice the next command in that verse which is an explanatory to the previous one, act like men, be...what?...strong. The verb there "act like men," that verb is a very very interesting verb. It means to conduct oneself in a courageous way. It means to conduct oneself in a courageous way. You know how men act? They have courage and they have strength. Put those two words together and you have the old word fortitude. The dictionary says fortitude is courage and strength. They have strength of conviction and they have the courage to stand on it, fortitude. That’s how men act. Men are strong. Men are courageous.
And when he says to them in verse 13, "act like men, be courageous, be strong, take a stand, conduct yourself in a courageous way," but look how he pulls the X along, look at verse 14, "Let all that you do be done in love." Don’t forget that.
So how do men act? They act with courage and strength. Men are not vaccilating, they’re not made by God to be weak, depressed, defeated. John Calvin said of this verse, "He stirs them up to a manly fortitude." A real man wants to face life with courage. He believes certain things and he’s going to stand on his belief. He has been called by God to achieve certain things and he’s going to achieve those things. He’s going to be courageous whatever the opposition and he’s going to make his move. He’s going to do what he believes is right and he’s going to pay the price. He’s going to make the hard decisions and if he makes a bad first one, he’ll make a quick better second one and he’ll adjust. That’s a man...that’s a manly man.
Be a man, be courageous, be strong.
Now that’s maleness. And it transfers right over into the spiritual dimension.
Boy, I can remember when America looked at men as heroes because they were courageous, because they were strong. And now it looks down on men who have the courage of their convictions and elevates the compromisers.
Courage in spiritual leadership, the manliness is undergirded by the presence of God, the just cause and the unfailing promise to be fulfilled by His sovereign power. People sometimes say to me, "Well, you know, sometimes you say things that cause problems and you get in trouble and you create issues, does that concern you?" Not primarily at all, what concerns me is is it right? Is the cause just? Is this the truth? Do I know that God is with me in this enterprise and do I have the promise of success because it is consistent with His Word? That’s what matters. This is a virtue that makes a man a man, courage and strength. And this is very necessary in spiritual leadership. A spiritual leader is decisive, he is a risk taker, he is bold, he is strong, he is courageous. He doesn’t fear making a wrong decision because he’s humble enough to turn it around and make a right one. That’s decisiveness.
If you want to raise a son who is a man who is strong and courageous in what he believes and what he lives for, then you must set the standard. That is true for a father and that is true for a spiritual leader. He sets the pace by example of life and precept. You teach your sons to be strong and courageous and you live with strength and courage and they catch both...the example and the lessons. If you live boldly by the Word without compromise, if you resist the pressure to do as little as possible and you give your life to do as much as possible in a great cause, if you resist the pleasure to please men and seek to please God and if you don’t sell out integrity for comfort, then you live a strong and courageous life if you hold your convictions without compromise you fill the fatherly role of a leader. That’s Paul.
Let’s go back to our text. Paul acted like a man. There was a side of him that acted like a mother but there was another side of him that acted like a man, like a father with strength and courage. And he never flinched from the immeasurable risks of life and the challenges that he faced because one, he was assured of God’s presence; two, he knew the cause was just; and three, he trusted an unfailing sovereignty. That’s the man fit for spiritual leadership. He’s a man of moral courage. And I say every father should be such a man if he expects to raise such a son.
Now let’s look specifically at our text. With all that as a backdrop Paul says in verse 11, "I came to you as a father to his own children," and notice the strength of this, verse 10, "You are witnesses." And here again he’s reminding them of what he said in verses 1, 2, 5 and 9 and will say again in verse 11, "I’m calling on your own first-hand knowledge." You saw me, I was there. You were witnesses and so is God. And that reverts back to verses 4 and 5 where he said I live very much aware that God examines my heart and God is my witness. So you know and God knows...watch this...how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers. That’s a father’s responsibility. A father’s responsibility is to set the standard of integrity in the family. That’s a spiritual leader’s responsibility.
The first word "devoutly" means piously, holy. It has to do with my life before God. Many people ask me, "What is the key to producing strong spiritually solid children?" It starts with living devoutly, uprightly and blamelessly where there is integrity and where there is moral courage and the strength of conviction and you live that life, you build strength. You set a pattern, living an uncompromising life of fortitude, consumed by what is right, aware of the presence of God and trusting in unfailing sovereignty, you live the life. And so fathering starts with modeling...modeling. You model virtue.
Look at verse 11, he goes a step further. It’s not just modeling, it’s also teaching. Verse 11, he says, "Just as you know," and reminds them again that it’s nothing they’re getting second hand, they were there when he came. "Just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring," and here’s another triad of virtues, just like the three in verse 10. "And we did it to each one of you as a father would his own children." I believe that God has designed the father in the family to set the pattern of virtue to live the life. He brings his wife under that pattern of virtue and she becomes so secure. You provide for a woman a devout upright and blameless life and she will find the haven of her security. That’s the father’s role. He lives the virtuous pattern the children are to follow.
encouraging , parakaleo, the one who comes alongside to move us in a specific course of conduct. A father gets alongside his child and moves that child in a specific course of conduct. Now whatever it takes it takes to do that, strong exhortation. Hey, I have preached some of my most passionate sermons to one child. You come alongside and you exhort that child in that path of conduct that you believe is right. That’s instruction...personal instruction.
Exhortation says this is the way to walk. Encouragement says I know it’s tough but keep doing it, right? Keep doing it.
Charge - any deviation from the prescribed course of conduct has very serious ramifications. That’s the lesson. So you say, "Son, daughter, here’s the course of conduct. I know the way is hard but keep doing it. And just to encourage you a little further, if you don’t do it the consequence is severe." And that’s where discipline comes in. And you do it with each one, that’s the personal touch.
Goal of good parents and leaders (12)
Live lives worthy of God.
In the midst of allegations ag. him he distances himself from those who were trying to gain prestige or profit from the ministry
This should be the focus of all Biblical leadership - grow up into Christ
Understand the Bible
Believe the Bible
obey the Bible
Ex Epaphras Col 4:12,13
that their lives are attached to Jesus not to us; or our agendas or ideas but attached to Christ
Therefore we rejoice even when they go to us b/c our goal can still be fulfilled.
a Pastorr moved back inot town and started a new church and have your congreation left.
These are surely the "times that try men’s souls." We are facing times of great danger and crisis. But these are also times of great possibilities. What a challenge to live today as Paul lived and ministered in his day!
As I look through this record and see these three marks of a faithful shepherd, courage, a loving, gentle heart, and a faithful spirit, I have to pray, and I hope you, too, are praying: "Lord, do this in my life. Make me a blessing in my own time
IF you desire is not to establish an empire, not to be well thought of not to have numbers or significance but to see them grow in Christ then you can If that is really your deisre then no matter the disappointment you can deal with it & be able to rejoice
Jn 3:26ff - John the Baptist understood this. The competitor has moved in next door. We need to be taught this lesson again and again.
The best man is there for the bridegroom not the bride and he needs to keep his hands of the bride.
And our great joy is to see the bride attached to Jesus
Let me reduce it to very simple concept. A mother illustrates gentle care and a father illustrates strong authority. And that is the balance of spiritual leadership. The tenderness and the gentleness of the motherly care, the strength and the fortitude and the courage and the leadership of fatherly care, that is the balance to spiritual leadership. And that balance has to be there for us to be what God wants us to be as spiritual leaders.
But a mother with a little child in her arms has a fond affection. That’s normal. That’s very natural. That’s God-given. And that’s what motivates her nursing, her gentle care. And as every mother knows there’s no kudos for this, there are no laurels, there’s no awards for mothering. All you get is crying babies, dirty diapers, sleepless nights, runny noses, illnesses. It’s hard, it’s consistent, endless watchful care.
There are many women, they don’t want to have a baby because they’re afraid it might affect their figure, they’re afraid it might affect their life style, they’re afraid it might affect their career. You want to know something? It will affect all of that.But God said a woman finds her place in this world, if God is so gracious to grant her that privilege, in bearing children and raising them to love to love the Lord. Gladly then does a woman give her life for her child.
t is my heart’s desire that the elders, the pastors of Grace Church be mothers as well as fathers, not just holding authority over you but being intimate and available, tender, kind, sympathetic and compassionate. That’s part of the joy of pastoring.
Every spiritual leader, every pastor is here to love his people, to embrace his people, to treat them with tender compassion, affection, kindness. But on the other hand, there’s that balance that says this is the way you’re to live. I encourage you to do it even if it’s hard and I’m telling you if you don’t do it the consequences are severe. Any father who is worthy a nickel knows you have to come alongside your children personally and pattern for them the course of conduct. You have to encourage them to be faithful to it when the choices are hard.
So the father gives this enthusiastic affirmation and exhortation to his children and the mother is there for the tender security. You know how that works, you get your son and you give him that impassioned speech and you call him to courageous and strong conduct. And a few minutes later you see him in the kitchen and his mom has got her arm around him and he’s run for a little balance. That’s the way it is.
The mother wants to cherish and nurture and love and hold and affirm. And the father comes along and says that’s all wonderful but we want to be sure at the end that he’s living according to God’s standards.
So, spiritual leader is a balance. He has a tender side, a mothering side and he has a strong courageous side in which he demands the highest and lives by the highest and uncompromising life. That’s the balance. The mother comes along with her tender love and the father comes along exhorting to the conduct God requires, motivating the heart to respond, solemnly showing the consequence of failure. And then he lives the life that he demands of his children. Beautiful balance God has designed.
And spiritual leaders must be that. It’s not enough to just be compassionate and tender and caring. There’s got to be that uncompromising pure life that sets the standard to live by. And there’s got to be the courage of conviction that comes alongside someone and exhorts and encourages and implores and demands that you live in a worthy way of the God who has called you to such glory. That’s leadership by God’s design. On the one hand a concern for the person, on the other hand a concern for the process.
