(GARY)(Put on tool belt- get from tool box) Talk this morning about families and children.
I have asked Pastor Greg- Children’s Pastor- to team up with me on this topic.
Our theme is- Home Improvements.
Around my house there is always something that needs to be repaired or improved.
A house in many ways is a work in process.
Spiritually, our families are a work in progress, as are we personally, and as is the church.
I am always looking for creative/innovative ideas.
Pastor Greg has developed a new tool for the home.
(GREG) (Toilet paper dispenser) (TacoBell comment)
(GARY) At COTR we believe- families/children are an important part of what God is doing today.
(GREG) Painted on the wall of our hallway for years was my motto; you can see it still hanging on the wall in my office. It is a poster that has been my inspiration all this time. It is a poster that says Kids are not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. (Hold up poster)
(GARY) Live in serious times- nation at a crossroad.
Discipling/training of our children- very important.
It is critical to their survival/survival of- Republic.
We live in the context of generations that have come before and those which will follow.
In referring to a young woman who became queen of a powerful nation at a critical time in history …
Est 4:14 Yet who knows-maybe it was for a time like this that you were made queen! (Music)
(Pick up cord) Every generation has been brought into existence “for just such a time as this.”
Every generation is important in God’s eternal scheme and has a purpose to fulfill.
This requires being connected relationally with God, much like this cord must be plugged into the wall.
(Plug in drill) Drill cannot do what designed to do if not connected to power source-
neither can we unless we are connected to God.
(GREG) You don’t have to grow up to serve the Lord. Kids in the Bible didn’t grow up first. Many served the Lord effectively BEFORE they ever grew up.
Josiah became king at eight years of age. Later in life he would go through Israel smashing idols and leading a return to God. The nation turned around because one kid knew he didn’t have to grow up to begin serving God. Josiah was not interested in becoming a future servant of God, he served God as a kid. The Bible calls him the best king Israel ever had.
A young servant girl walked up to rich, powerful Syrian commander Naaman and suggested that he travel to Israel where Elisha would minister healing to his leprosy on behalf of God. Naaman agreed and the rest is Biblical history. When Jesus launched His ministry in Luke 4 he referred to two Old Testament stories and one of them was the healing of Naaman. All of that happened because a little girl didn’t wait until she grew up to serve God.
(Pick up level) Samuel, a young boy brought to the temple by his mother, heard God’s voice reveal the fate of Israel while Eli, the high priest, seemed oblivious to the danger Israel faced. A kid, not the high priest, heard God’s voice.
Could there have been anyone else in the crowd of over 5000 who brought lunch the day Jesus taught the huge group? A boy stepped up and offered his lunch in faith, enabling Jesus to multiply it to the mass of people. If the boy had waited to grow up first there would have been a lot of hungry people that day.
David slaying Goliath is the classic example. A shepherd boy takes on Goliath in front of the adults. When David was through, Goliath never bothered anyone again. Even though David stood on God’s covenant, faced a giant and won; he was still a kid.
Mary and Joseph found Jesus at twelve years of age in the temple "about His Father’s business." That’s the objective: to bring kids to a place where they are "about their Father’s business" BEFORE they grow up.
(GARY) Each generation is important to God. (pause)
My generation is important …
the generations before me were important, and
the generations after me are equally important.
Each generation must …
humbly learn from the previous generation and
sacrificially teach the next generation.
The idea of a generation gap- demonic roots- part of Satan’s plan to destroy- continuity of God’s people
In some cultures- young taught to respect their Elders as those having wisdom from which they can learn
God brought an ungodly nation against Israel to judge them for their sin- says this about that nation …
Deut 28:50 a nation of fierce countenance who will have no respect for the old, nor show favor to the young. (GREG turn around plywood)
A nation that turns from God loses respect for the old and has no patience for the young.
(Walk over to pail- pocket watch, wad of money)
My generation, each generation must sacrifice time, convenience, money, to invest in future generation.
Investing does not mean they will look like me, but releasing them to be what God has for them.
Parents, you have a great responsibility.
Paul has a high goal for our young people …
1 Tim 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. NASU
For children to be good examples to their peers, they must see good examples from- previous generation
Again, looking at Paul’s words concerning Timothy-
2 Tim 1:5 For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. NASU
Timothy- nurtured by two previous generations.
If we neglect to pass onto the next generation what we have learned, it will die with us.
Psa 145:4 One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. NASU
(GREG) (Pick up battery) The power of the word of God will work for kids. We often quote Paul from II Timothy 3 about the power of God’s word. As we should. We forgot, however, the context of Paul’s statement is in reference to Timothy having learned the word as a child.
2 Tim 3:15-17
And that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
We have to encourage children to trust the word of God. Build faith in our kids. Tell them about a God who will come through for them. When you tell a Bible story, emphasize the faithfulness of God.
(Pick up rocks) Don’t major on minors. David picking up five rocks is not the point of the story. Walking in the power of God’s covenant is the message from David and Goliath. David believed he had a covenant with God while the adults weren’t so sure.
The lion’s den is not the message of the story about Daniel. The king could have thrown Daniel into a rattlesnake pit. The point is that Daniel stood up every day and declared his trust in the Lord by praying with his window open. Daniel is a story about the supernatural protection of God for people who lived in a pagan environment.
(Insert battery in power saw)
Kids need to know that God is just as alive and trustworthy as He ever was.
Never forget that …
"Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God" (Romans 10:17).
If you don’t teach your kids the Word, they won’t have faith unless they get it from somewhere else.
(GARY) God is unfolding His revelation for mankind, one generation at a time until the end of the age.
The younger generations need your generation to teach and encourage them to …
dream dreams and reach for the impossible,
to fulfill God’s purpose for their generation.
The only thing of eternal value we leave behind on this earth is the next generation.
Teach children to know God/seek knowledge/wisdom.
Do not let them settle for a level of knowledge that gets a descent paying job- so can live comfortably.
Learning/growing should be a life goal for children- hard to teach them something we are not doing.
Given discipline, young people will learn self-discipline; given training, they will learn to live useful lives. In almost every case the failure to develop character is directly attributable to a lack of proper influence and guidance in the home. Former FBI director (JE Hoover)
Christian families today do not fare much better than families in the world …
Forty percent (40%) of all children in America go to bed without a father in the home to tuck them in. (Source: Sara Mclanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps)
(GREG)
Fourteen percent (about 1 in 7) of all thirteen year olds have had sex. (Kaiser Family Foundation)
(GARY)
Thirty-three percent of all babies in America are born to unmarried women.(Source: Newsweek)
(GREG)
Eighty-three percent (83%) of teens say that moral truth depends on the situation. (Source: Barna Research Group)
We were afraid to use these cultural indicators.
Not because they aren’t true, but because we know how Christians will react.
We have a tendency to wring our hands in despair over facts as disturbing as these.
We’re presenting these facts because it’s important to know the truth and the nature of our challenge as it relates to discipiling/training children.
The Bible says the wise men in Esther’s day "understood the times" (Esther 1:13).
Have you got MySPACE, IM’s, IPODS, Text Messages… figured out?
Sometimes the knowledge of our times can seem overwhelming. The Bible calls that "fretting." God speaks to this point blank when He commands His people not to fret over evil doers (Psalm 37:1,7,8 and Proverbs 24:19). God is not in the least overwhelmed by the state of our world.
Be wise and understand the times you live in. But never forget that where sin abounds, grace abounds more (Romans 5:20).
And as crazy as it sounds, we live in a world where the grace of God has a lot of room to abound.
(GARY) Mothers/Fathers play an important part in the lives of their children.
God Himself is our example for both mothers/fathers.
God is both a nurturer and a disciplinarian.
One of the signs of the end of the age …
Mtt 24:12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, NIV
God wants to restore love in our families …
Malachi 4:5-6
Notice the order- fathers to children then children to fathers.
(GREG) (Order in families- ladder routine- God, family, ministry, job, TV)
There is a verse in Genesis that has always spoken to me about my role as a father …
Gen 18:17-18
We can see God’s heart when He speaks to Moses …
Deuteronomy 4:10
10 "Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when the Lord said to me, ’Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.’ NASU
Again …
Deut 6:6-7
6 "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
7 "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. NASU
Conclusion
(GREG) Smile (Pick up rags- children/teens hold)
The S.M.I.L.E. Approach is a positive approach to dealing with negative situations, its a way of interacting with children that will almost eliminate your discipline "problems," build up kids, and even make you a friend of children.
SPEAK POSITIVELY!
Our words should ALWAYS be positive. Words that focus on the GOOD in a kid. Words that are BENEFICIAL and HELPFUL. Words that BUILD THEM UP, never tear them down. Our words should be positive REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES. Even when a child is disruptive or disobedient it should not be seen as "bad behavior" but rather an opportunity for growth. Easy to say and even easier to agree with, but it takes intentional effort to implement.
It is easy to use positive words when the situation is positive. It is in the difficult situations that it takes skill and practice to master. That is why I refer to Positive Discipline as an art. It takes time, training, a little natural instinct, and creativity. But it is possible. In fact, it is possible to correct negative situations WITHOUT EVER USING THE WORD "NO." That’s right!
How? In any situation there is always a positive angle. Look for something to praise or explain the positive action desired, instead of forbidding the negative one.
AVOID CONFRONTATION.
MINIMIZE CONFLICT!
MAINTAIN A WARM ATMOSPHERE! Never let it become YOU vs. THE CHILD. Remain on the same side as the child. "A gentle answer turns away tempers, tears, and fears." (Paraphrase of Proverbs 15:1) It has been said that gentle words fall lightly, but they have great weight. Remember Peter’s reminder that "love covers a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8)
IDENTIFY and ACKNOWLEDGE WANT
NOTHING THAT A KID WANTS IS BAD! There is good in every request (or demand). What is often not-so-good is the timing of the request, the safety of the request, the cost of the request, the appropriateness of the request, or a host of other reasons why the adult being asked cannot say, "Sure! That’s fine!" We DO have to say "no" (without actually using the word!) to many of the pleas that come our way.
BUT! BEFORE WE DENY THE REQUEST, we must IDENTIFY AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE GOOD IN THE REQUEST! The good may simply be that it "looks like fun!" It may be that it would taste delicious! It may be that it would be fun to play with, listen to, watch (or smash!). By IDENTIFYING WHY they desire it, you can GET ON THEIR SIDE by acknowledging that the inner desire is O.K., but then explain why the way they are seeking to fulfill that desire is not.
LAUGHTER!
A cheerful heart is good medicine and a
cheerful look brings joy to the heart.
Proverbs 15:30 and 17:22
LAUGHTER IS A POWERFUL TOOL WHEN DEALING WITH CHILDREN!
Keep it handy, sharp, and ready at all times!
A grimace or a grin - how will your day begin?
ENCOURAGE and ESTEEM!
"When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it;
the light of my face was precious to them."
Job 29:24N.I.V.
The S.M.I.L.E. Approach is to AVOID CONFRONTATION. Always be on the side of the child. It should never become a battle of wills, but an opportunity for learning. If a kid is convinced that you love him, understand him, and are his friend, he will do anything you ask!
(GARY) Two verses I would leave us with …
Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. NASU
Lack of proper childcare/training/discipline/love, boundaries, will provoke a child to anger.
Start training your children when they are young.
Many times we treat young behavior as cute when you are allowing them to establish behavior you that
will bring you grief to you and them later.
(GREG) Will Farrell and Pearl example
(GARY) (Pick up yard stick) Many young parents adopt- principles of world for child training.
Do not take time to find out what the Bible says.
This yard stick is a tool that can help to build a house properly.
I can measure wood to cut it accurately, I can measure and order trusses to fit the house.
If I use my own measure and ask them to build a truss according to my own measure, it will not work.
Lack of proper discipline can make children very unenjoyable to be around.
Proverbs 10:1 A wise son makes a father glad,
But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.
Each child can choose to make bad decisions and chose the wrong paths to go down through life.
However, as parents/adults, we have a great responsibility towards the next generation.
Lk 1:37 "For nothing will be impossible with God." NASU
Ministry
(Greg) Pray for fathers, all men.
(Greg) Honor Children’s Workers
Exhortation, pass out certificates (Gary).
Request for new workers.
(GARY) Pray for workers.
