Introduction:
I. Are you a perfectionist?
A. This is what my dictionary says the definition of Perfectionism is -
1. “The refusal to accept any standard short of perfection” and or
2. “The philosophy or doctrine that religious, moral, social, or political perfection is attainable”
B. If we take those definitions as being accurate, we would all probably say, “No I am not a perfectionist; at least not a total perfectionist. BUT
C. If we are honest, most, if not all of us would probably be able to pick out an area or two where we have pefectionistic tendencies.
II. Don’t believe me; take this short test.
A. Do you ever feel guilty when you relax, knowing you’ve got a lot to do?
B. Do you often feel dissatisfied or discontent with yourself or your situation?
C. Do you have a tendency to see something wrong with things rather than what is right?
D. Do you ever find yourself using these phrases regularly,
1. “I have to...
2. “I must...
3. “I ought to...
4. “I should be able to...”?
E. Does your relationship with God seem like a burden rather than a blessing?
III. If you answered yes to any of those questions; “Congratulations: You just might be a perfectionist!!!”
IV. Now being quite honest, certainly there are times when we can be making excuses for bad habits, but we must also be honest and say that there can be extremes on both sides of the issue.
V. The church in Galatia was having a problem understanding the freedom that is afforded through faith in Christ.
A. Perfectionism, if left uncheck,can become like chains stealing away our joy and freedom.
B. Paul therefore tells the Galatians in Chapter 5, verse 1 - It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
C. He also writes in Galatians 3:3 "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"
VI. It is true that Jesus said “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matt. 5:28, NASB)
A. But we must understand that in that passage, Jesus was speaking to a specific, individual issue.
B. When we take those words and attempt to apply them to ever facet of our lives or when we take it to the extreme in any one area, we will most certainly run into trouble.
VII. Another word we might use for “Perfectionism” is “Legalism” and the bible says that perfectionism is a trap that can impede our relationship with God, and our relationships with others.
A. This morning we are going to look at “God’s Liberating Grace.”
B. But first let me quickly give you three areas where perfectionism can hamper our lives.
VIII. First perfectionism can defeat our initiative.
It Defeats Our Initiative
I. Have you ever felt the desire to do something, only to decide that the project was just to big for you.
A. The time isn’t right.
B. I don’t have enough money, ability, help, or whatever else you might feel is needed.
C. I just can’t do this NOW.
II. Listen to what the writer of Ecclesiastes says - He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap. (NASB)
A. It might be better understood from a modern translation - "If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never get anything done."
III. Perfectionism says,
A. Everything must be in place, before I will attempt to begin.
B. Perfectionism more often says, “The time will never be right; it’s best to wait” and thus you never begin.
IV. Perfectionism can kill our initiative, and can kill our vision for what could be, but God’s liberating grace free’s us to try the untried.
V. The second danger in perfectionsim is this - Perfectionism/Legalism damages relationships.
Damages Relationships
I. How many of us enjoy being around someone that is always correcting us; nagging us?
II. The great love chapter of the Bible says this about love - 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
A. Check it out - “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
B. If we are always correcting or nagging someone, are we not saying to them,
1. “I have lost my patience with you...”
2. “I am right, you are wrong.”
3. To often, “I am seeking my will, and I am not forgetting what you have done, or not done, or ...”
C. Again, Jesus said in Matthew, “Be perfect as your Father is perfect,” referring to love.
III. Perfectionism is not love,
A. Perfectionism is just another word for legalism.
B. And perfectionism runs the risk of damaging our relationships with others, but God’s liberating grace builds bridges.
IV. Third, perfectionism defeats happiness.
Defeats Happiness
I. This next verse is for those of us that think we have made it, or at least almost made it to perfection.
A. Listen to the writer of Ecclesiastes - Ecclesiastes 7:16 "Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself?" (NASB)
B. Now in the NIV - Do not be over righteous, neither be over wise— why destroy yourself?
C. And lest you think that the KJV would never say a thing like that- Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?
II. Wait a minute, I thought the bible taught that we were to be perfect because God is perfect, and didn’t God say, “be holy, for I am holy.”
A. Now it says, “don’t be excessively righteous or wise” what can that mean.
B. It means,
1. don’t be a perfectionist.
2. Don’t think of yourself as “all that.”
3. Don’t consider yourself as being the all wise, all knowing guru, who has some kind of right to get on someone else’s case.
C. For in the end, you will only destroy your happiness in being a child of God.
III. Perfectionism can defeat our happiness, but the Liberating grace of God restores our joy in connecting with God and others.
IV. So how do we learn to enjoy “God’s liberating Grace” we learn to RELAX.
A. And how do we learn to relax?
B. Well first we have to learn to Realize that Nobody is perfect.
Realize Nobody’s Perfect
I. “They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.” (Rom. 3:12, NASB)
II. You might say, “There is no need to say that. It is an obvious fact.”
A. And this is true.
B. In fact we have to admit that we are not perfect before we can even realize our need for a savior.
III. We admit that we are not perfect, and then we beat ourselves up and knock ourselves out attempting to be perfect in various areas of our lives.
A. Here is an area that can derail me for an entire service on Sunday mornings.
1. Believe it or not, I usually spend a good amount of time preparing for Sunday morning worship.
a. I pick songs,
b. I choose a video
c. I choose scripture, and whatever other components go into the service.
d. Then Sunday morning comes, and invariably something doesn’t work right.
(1) I miss the que for a song,
(2) The video doesn’t work right,
(3) Something I thought would be PERFECT goes flat,
e. And though I hope you can’t tell, inside I am beating myself up,
(1) How could you possibly miss that?
(2) Why did you pick a song that nobody else knew?
(3) Why, Why, How, You were less than perfect,
2. I know that already, and if I dwell there to long, I will invariably be thrown off track.
3. Why is it so hard to say, “I am not perfect, that is why I need Christ.”
IV. Do you see my point,
A. I am not saying that we should be satisfied, or that we shouldn’t strive to improve,
B. I am not even saying that God want’s us to be satisfied, or that God doesn’t want us to find His will for our lives and improve, but
1. God knows you are not perfect,
2. That is why Christ went to the cross.
3. God knows you and I are not perfect, and He accepts us anyway, based on love.
4. Understanding the depth and breadth of God’s grace, liberates me to realize that I am a work in progress, and so is everyone else.
V. I don’t have to be satisfied with where I am at, but if I realize that the only perfect thing is God, I can relax in God’s liberating grace.
VI. The next thing I need in order to relax is to “Enjoy God’s Unconditional Love”
Enjoy
I. This is an important concept, so I ask you to turn in your bibles to 1 John 3:1
A. See what this verse says, - "See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are.”
1. See what we are to God, children
2. Circle that word “children”
B. There are essentially two ways that people approach a relationship with God.
1. Either they come as servants, seeking to gain his approval, which is impossible, OR
2. They come through faith in Jesus Christ, and become children.
II. There is a distinct difference between the servant relationship and a child relationship.
A. Think of it from the standpoint of a job, versus a family.
1. The worker is accepted as long as he pleases his supervisor.
2. The child is accepted, because he/she is a child.
3. The worker starts every day with the knowledge that he must produce in order to remain in the relationship.
4. The child remains in the relationship, regardless of what is produced.
5. At the end of the day, essentially the worker goes home at peace, knowing his productivity has secured his tomorrow.
6. At the end of the day, the child comes home at peace, knowing he is still the child.
B. On one level or another, even the highest placed employee is unable to totally relax, because he never knows what tomorrow may bring, maybe even a pink slip.
C. But the child can enjoy the relationship, because even Andy Reids son’s know that tomorrow they will still be Reids.
III. Check out these words from Romans 8 - 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
IV. Relax; enjoy the relationship; let God handles things, not even you can separate you from the love of God.
Let God Handle Things
I. We began by talking about perfectionism.
A. But you may ask, “Why am I like this, in this area?”
B. “What is the cause or root of my perfectionism?”
C. There is really only one answer, and that is control.
1. If I can just control this, I can make it perfect.
2. I have to control my marriage, so it will be perfect.
3. I have to control my children so they will be protected, safe, well behaved, or whatever.
4. I have to control this, and then it will be perfect or as near to it as possible,
II. But when I find I can’t control it, I have depression, anger, self doubt; a sense of worthlessness.
A. I think we might call that “anxiety.”
B. And what can I do about these feelings?
1. Listen to what Peter writes in 1 Peter 5:6 - “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, 7 casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you."
2. Circle that word “cast”.
C. The basic idea,
1. Rest in the Lord,
2. Do what you can do, but don’t allow the imperfections to drive you to a place you really don’t want to be.
D. You may recall that the next verse says, “...your enemy the devil prowls around, looking to devour you.”
III. One study I saw states that “Anxiety disorders are the most common cause of mental illness in the United States, effecting 19.1 million people, or 13.3% of the population.”
A. Want to save our government a ton of money; the study goes on to say that “anxiety disorders cost the government 42 billion dollars every year.”
IV. Of course the Bible already states the when the writer of Proverbs says, “A tranquil heart is life to the body, (Prov. 14:30, NASB)
V. We can enjoy the liberating grace of God, when we allow God to take care of things.
Act In Faith, Not Fear
I. The church of the Colossians was moving away from the truth of salvation by grace.
A. It seems that teaching was being accepted that grace was simply not a sufficient means for salvation, but rather one must “do” enough.
B. Paul writes in Colossians - “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him,” (Col 2:6, NASB)
II. So the first question is “how does a person receive Jesus Christ as Lord?”
A. We admit that we have never been good enough, are not now good enough, and in fact never will be good enough to merit salvation.
B. We admit that only through faith in the grace of God can we receive Christ.
C. We simply are not perfect enough, in any area of our lives.
III. The second question is “How do we maintain Jesus Christ as our Lord?”
A. In the same way we received Him in the first place.
B. By faith in the grace of God.
IV. Nothing has changed, we are still not good enough, and we never will be, EXCEPT through faith in Christ.
A. Twenty four years ago, I prayed and asked God for a child.
1. If you do this, I will live my life for you.
2. If you do this, that child will be yours.
3. If you do ths, I will do everything I can to be perfect.
B. God answered, and you know what, I didn’t keep my end of the bargain.
1. I didn’t live every moment of my life for Him.
2. And I haven’t even approached perfection.
C. Yet I can still say with certainty, “I am a child of God.”
1. Why?
a. Because the relationship isn’t dependent on my perfection,
b. It is dependent on his grace.
V. Do we want to truly enjoy the Liberating Grace of God?
A. Then we have to continue living for God, in the same way we began.
B. By allowing God to handle the weaknesses of my life.
Exchange My Perfection, For God’s Peace
I. So now what do we do with the “X” in R.E.L.A.X.?
II. We exchange our perfection for God’s peace.
III. Matthew reports that Jesus said these words - “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
A. In our time and place, we really don’t know much about yokes.
1.
IV. We see a yoke as oxen or horses or whatever yoked together, pulling a heavy load.
a. Therefore Jesus must be saying that we are to work as He worked, but He will make our burden handleable.
b. Here is the picture His hearers would see,
(1) A mature oxen would be teamed with a younger oxen.
(2) As the work was being done, the mature ox was doing the bulk of the work.
(3) The young, weaker ox was doing some, but primarily he was walking beside the older ox, learning the ropes, but not actually doing a lot of pulling.
V. Get the picture,
A. Jesus is saying,
1. “Come, walk with me as part of the team.”
2. “Allow me to do the hard work, you just connect with me, and allow me to teach you what it means to be a child of god.
B. We can’t do the work ourselves,
C. In fact, as I get older, I am learning that there really aren’t to many areas that I am even close to perfect in.
1. I am not the best husband, or the best father, or even the best pastor.
2. All I can do is what I can do, and then allow the perfection of Christ to handle the details.
3. And even knowing the truth, I still try to perfect it myself sometimes.
VI. Do you want to enjoy the Grace of God, then we must learn to relax.
A. Remember no one is perfect,
B. Enjoy God’s unconditional love.
C. Let God handle things
D. Act in faith not fear,
E. Exchange my perfection for God’s peace.
