THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Your Home of Shared Taste
A Regular Mystery Time for You & Your Friends
Romans 12:13
Five Challenges of Hospitality
Mysteries. I love a good mystery! I enjoy a good “who done it?” story. I like watching stories like that, I enjoy telling my kids stories like that and when I get a, “What’s going to happen next, Daddy?” from them…I know I’m doing a good job.
I also enjoy meeting people and getting to know them. Now, I’ve been burnt in relationships, and have had some not so good surprises along the way, have ended up eating crow a few times and found myself even needing to let go of the proverbial ‘tiger by the tail’; but there really is nothing like the thrill of getting to meet and then know new people!
Paul tells his Roman friends in Christ to ‘be eager to show hospitality’. To literally [diōkō] run after, pursue, and track down this specific disciple characteristic. The one of a hospitality, of being a friend-host!
The Greek word is Xenos, say that… and it refers to one being foreign, appearing strange, alien, one who creates distaste = guest! It describes one that you are w/o knowledge of, new to, haven’t really heard of before.
Paul instructs Philemon to ‘prepare hospitality for me’ when he sends Onesimus back home to him (v22). Some translations have, “make ready a room for me” when I come visit.
Peter also speaks of xenos when he tells Christ-followers to ‘be hospitable to one another without complaining’ [1 Pet 4.9] = without GUNGGOOSMOS = w/o murmuring, muttering, or secretive debating.
That reminds me of the story of a young couple who invited their pastor over for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. “Goat,” the little boy replied. “Goat?” remarked the startled man of the cloth. “Are you sure about that?” “Yep,” said the youngster, “I heard dad say to mom, “Today is as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.”
Paul says in his 1st letter to Timothy [3:2] a leader in the church (overseer) must be …respectable, hospitable, able to teach…
Paul repeats this command to Titus [1:8], “a church leader/overseer, must not be arrogant or greedy for gain, but be hospitable…”
Hospitality was not a strange event in the early church; in fact it was expected and encouraged.
I. The Strangeness of Hospitality.
But xenos does have a beginning in the strange. Let’s pretend. Once upon a time two strangers met, and you’re one of them. How does it feel for you to meet a stranger? As you both enter each other’s presence, can you feel the tension? Each of you perceive the other as being on the outside—strange, hard to understand, unsettling, even sinister. The environment is like that too—different, disturbing, even threatening. Fear is the common mood. This is what is meant by xenos.
In all people groups, the word for enemy and stranger is the same. And in some cultures, the best way to deal with the sinister feeling was to kill the stranger. He is an outlaw! Dispose of the unknown threat! It’s like with bugs or foreign pests in the home—we may not know what it is therefore we don’t want it around!
Back when East Berlin was communist-controlled and West Berlin was free, some people in East Berlin one day took a truckload of garbage and dumped it on the West Berlin side. Not very hospitable was it?
The people of West Berlin could have done the same thing. But instead they took a truckload of canned goods, bread, and milk … and neatly stacked it on the East Berlin side. On top of this stack they placed the sign: “EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS.”
Eventually men found a new, better and surprising way to master the hostile alien—the way of friendship. Fear gave way to a nobler custom—that of hospitality! Now you and your stranger are seen as being on mutual footing. Empathy takes over—since you’ve known what it’s like to have been an alien in unknown territory—you grant the stranger the fellowship of your table and your protection, and instead of being an outlaw he has come under your responsible care according to your own laws and religion. You take upon yourself the obligation of host to your new guest which if the need arises may require you to put your life on the line.
Xenos then came to mean the “friend” who associates with another in the beautiful act of hospitality. Being hospitable overcomes the distance of strangeness and the tension of being a foreigner. The two of you can now enjoy each others company equally; the guest is both grateful and feels ready to repay the host for his hospitality. The whole relation now rests on mutual trust instead of fear.
Mark Schultz of Bremerton, Washington, was just a fatherless twelve-year-old boy who liked to fish. But he had a problem: no adult to take him on fishing trips. His solution? Mark submitted a want ad, asking for adult volunteers to take him fishing. The response? He received twenty invitations.
To receive a stranger as a guest is sometimes expressed idiomatically in writings as:
‘to let a stranger sit at one’s table,’
‘to offer a bed to a stranger,’ or
‘to let a stranger enter one’s house.’
So how long are guests considered guests? Interestingly enough, there is an ancient three day limit on hospitality. A saying that goes “Fish and guests in three days are stale”. Another states, “No guest is so welcome in a friend’s house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.” And best known are the words of Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac: “Fish and guests stink in three days.”
In Clackamas County, Oregon, Operation Dial-A-Friend started as a daily telephone check on the elderly. Volunteers agreed to phone designated shut-ins to check on their condition and to cheer them up. The volunteers immediately started to go “the second mile.” Not only did they routinely phone daily, but the calls soon led to visitation, shopping trips, and “the growth of real friendships.”
A candle looses nothing of its own light when it gives it to another candle.
Our homes need to be a place of shared tastes.
My story of Lucy and Boyd Reed. She offered me bean soup and cornbread! And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
II. The Strength of Hospitality
During the Korean war, a South Korean Christian, a civilian, was arrested by the communists and ordered shot. But when the young communist leader learned that the prisoner was in charge of an orphanage caring for small children, he decided to spare him and kill his son instead. So they shot the nineteen-year-old boy in the presence of his father.
Later the fortunes of war changed, and the young communist leader was captured by the United Nations forces, tried, and condemned to death. But before the sentence could be carried out, the Christian, whose boy had been killed, pleaded for the life of the killer. He declared that he was young, that he really did not know what he was doing. “Give him to me,” said the father, “and I’ll train him.”
The United Nations forces granted the request, and that father took the murderer of his boy into his own home and cared for him. Today the young communist is a Christian pastor.
Paul speaks of another hospitable strength in 1 Corinthians 7:13, 16...
The power of a holy consenting adult can bring salvation! There is power in hospitality!
And Jesus spoke of the power of hospitality when he said, “For I was hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in. (Mt 25:35).
The writer of Hebrews reminds us in a challenging way, “Be ready with a meal or a bed when it’s needed. Why, some have extended hospitality to angels without ever knowing it!”
III. In Your Struggle for Hospitality
Here are five challenges for you to consider as you seek to obey God’s word of pursuing hospitality.
1) Get in the habit of inviting people over for fun and friendship! No presumptions, no expectations except to accept each other and have a good time! How often? I would challenge you to do it at least twice a month! It will take some planning, some practice, some sacrifice. But all of those things mark a growing Christian anyway so it should come rather easy for all of us, right? Hey, just want to remind of the messages early on in my ministry here of asking you point blank, “Do you want to grow?” And every one of you without exception said, “YES!”
Part two of this first challenge is: Make it a point to invite different people over for fun and friendship! It is easy to have the same couple over every week (and small group meeting doesn’t count here—this is outside that box!) This is you and another or you and two others or you and your spouse and another couple or two.
2) Be sure your house is in order or can be put in order without much doing for there to be spontaneous hospitality. Spend time imagining how God will be using your home as you dedicate it for hospitality! Let the Holy Spirit speak to you about how what can go where and what needs to be taken out or moved somewhere so it can be given to pursuing hospitality.
Don’t get too carried away with your new friendships like two boys did with their friend at the zoo. They went with their school and while there, decided to visit the elephant cage. But it wasn’t long and they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion.
The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage. The first boy innocently said, "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."
The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."
The third boy, a little shaken up, said, "Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts."
3) Make it a point of working up to inviting lost people over to your house. Just use your imagination and in your heart of hearts imagine what it would be like to lead someone to Jesus Christ in your own home! That will take time, but remember as I mentioned in an earlier sermon, “BBQ first!” Get to know them, appreciate them. Let them know you are interested in them as people, not just bringing them to church. Love them, learn them and then lead them.
When I became the pre-marital counselor at a previous church and I’d meet with couples who didn’t attend a church at restaurants, and some I met with in our home. I saw several of those couples after the wedding at our church and they made their way over to greet me and one husband would even give me a hug. God had worked in their lives and used me to sow good seeds there. I didn’t get to lead them Christ, but I believe they were closer to God when I was finished meeting with them and …befriending them using hospitality.
What are we going to do? How about when we have soccer practice or meetings out here in the spring? What about this free Easter egg hunt we are planning to reach a cross-section of our community? And what will we do when those people come? Will we be found loving on them, taking an interest in them? Could it possible for any if it to lead to an invitation out for lunch or even over to our home for just some good, wholesome, connective friendship? If God so leads…yes it could! We want to love people to Christ! And God wants to use you to bridge the gap between lost people and Himself.
A man testified that during his scuba diving training, he asked what should be done if they see a shark. He said, “Should we try to stab it with our diving knife?” The instructor said, "Don’t do that! You’ll only make him mad." Then with a smile he went on, "If you see a shark coming after you, take out your knife, and then cut your buddy and swim like crazy."
No, no, no. We want to love people to into heaven, not scare them there! Not set them up ourselves but let God do the setting up and use hospitality to do it.
4) This might be more for the advanced followers: Try inviting people over who are different than you—different color or culture—invite the foreigners over for a meal! Pray that God can lead you to people to practice hospitality with. Be open if you do that to people of a different kind! They may not be green and say, “Na-noo, nah-noo,” but they will be aliens to you! We don’t want to alienate the aliens. We want to track ‘em down, take ‘em out, and treat ‘em special! When an opportunity arises for guests who need a place to stay for a night or three, is your home in order to do so?
5) Always be Praying for God to make your home a home of shared tastes—of being a place Jesus would be welcomed in any color of skin, in any figure he might be in.
Remember, with relationships come mysteries! And as 1 Cor. 13 tells us, “Love always trusts…” And trust rather than fear brings mysteries to light…and to life!
