NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Your Home A Safe Place
Daily Sharing Time for You & Your Mate
EPHESIANS 5:21-33
Five Safety Builders
There were two men out on the golf course, at the fifteenth green, when they see a funeral procession drive by. One man pauses, takes off his hat, and places it over his heart, staring at the procession. The other man asks, “Did you know that person?” The first man replies, “She was a good wife!”
We are talking about how there is no place like home. Last week we talked about your relationship with God is the core from which all relationships come. Today I want to talk about our relationship with our spouse.
When relationships are godly, they are a safe place for us. Our homes are to be a safe place.
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister in hysterics. She was crying, “Pastor, John and I had our first fight together! It was awful. What am I going to do?"
The pastor, leaning back in his chair and shaking his head said, "Calm down, Joanna, this isn’t nearly as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight. It’s natural."
"I know, I know," Joanna said impatiently. "But what am I going to do with the body?"
Last week we saw how working on the core relationship with God moves us outward and has its effects on those closest to us. And who is closer than your spouse?
A husband and wife relationship is unique. Genesis 1:27 states, “So God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” The creation of human beings as male and female was God’s idea. There is nothing like it!
MARRIAGE was God’s idea. There is nothing like it either!
A husband’s and wife’s rel’p within a family unit is the closest thing to the invisible Christ’s rel’p with the visible church.
There is nothing like that! The family finds its identity from the church!
And since there is nothing else like those relationships is the precise reason why we need to invest in it and develop them!
God wants to use you. God wants to use your marriage. It is his design and plan to bring people to himself using your unique relationship with your spouse!
You and your spouse will be able to reach some people no other’s can reach!
Now, when sin entered the world it ruined the harmony of marriage: it twisted man’s love into hostile domination in some and lazy indifference in others. It also twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative flattering in some and brazen insubordination in others. Sin ruined, distorted and made men and women’s relationships ugly and destructive
Paul starts the statements to Ephesians not with verse 21, but with verse 17 and 18 when he says that we are to understand that God’s will for us is to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God. And a life that is filled with God’s Spirit will look like this:
1. Among Holy Spirit-filled people there will be an inner singing in the heart and an outer singing to others. God’s Spirit leads us to sing praises to God and speak encouraging praises with each other!
2. The Holy Spirit filled person will be thanking God all the time
3. The Holy Spirit-filled person will be living a life-style of submission to others. THIS shows up in the family life-style in five specific ways:
a. Husbands
b. Wives
c. Children
d. Parents/Fathers
e. Slaves
f. Masters
The word for submission is [hypotassomai]
1. wives hypotassomai
"as to the Lord"
"as the church ’submits’ to Christ"
A cartoon showed how a preacher had prepared the pulpit area like a fortress. He was peering through the crack of a machine gun nest. The caption read, "Today my text is, ’Wives submit to your husbands.’"
When American adults were asked "A wife should submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband" 69% disagreed with the statement.
When reminded that the statement is taken from the Bible, the percentage declined to 60%.
SUBMISSION COMBATS ANARCHY AND INDIVIDUALISM
GOD is not an anarchist! he is three in one relational at his core being and he wishes
-to have a relationship with you
-use you in your rel’ps with others
-teach you how to have better rel’ps
-know him better in the process
The greatest things in life come from rel’ps = meaning in life, purpose in life, driving forces, heroicism...
The most devastating things in life can come from rel’ps = mental illness, emotional abuse, dysfunctional, socio and psycho-paths
The woman is not alone in her command to submit, just alone as to whom she is specifically to do so to.
Men are to submit too...and it is out of that rel’p we learn how to be submissive across the board!
Liz Curtis Higgs was one of the best-known disc jockeys in America, and she lived quite a…wild lifestyle without God. In fact, Howard Stern was the A.M. show, and Liz Curtis Higgs was the P.M. show. And one day Howard Stern said to Liz, “You know, you need to clean up your act.” Now, that really says something if Howard Stern is saying it.
And because Liz Curtis Higgs had been burned by so many men, and her heart had been broken…she became a militant feminist. And I underscore, militant feminist. But she had a Christian girlfriend who kept inviting her to church. So one day after a long, long time, she said, “Okay, I will go to church one time and one time only.”
So she went to church one time with her friend. And that week, the pastor just happened to be teaching on the Bible verse that says, “Wives submit yourselves to your husbands.” Not exactly a good verse to start with a militant feminist. And she got a little uptight, a little ticked, a little angry. But she continued to listen, and she actually heard the second part of the verse.… You see, the second part of the verse says, “And husbands—you sacrifice yourself; you give yourself for your wives just as Jesus Christ sacrificed himself for the church and died for her.” Who is asked to give their life up? The husband.
When Liz heard that part, she leaned over to her friend and said with a little cynicism, “I’d gladly give myself to any man if I knew he would die for me.” And her friend leaned over and said, “Liz, there is man who loved you enough to die for you. His name is Jesus Christ. That’s how much he loves you.” And it was not long after that that Liz dropped her guard, surrendered her life to God in love, and became a believer. Today she is a well-known Christian author and speaker.
But the wife’s submission to her husband is sin quon non -- unlike any other
in that when she submits to her husband there is a reflecion of s/t greater =
she reflects the bride of Christ, the Church!
Country singer June Carter Cash, who died in May 2003 at age 73, won awards and achieved world renown, but her love for her husband, Johnny Cash, was more important to her. And her marriage was marked by sacrifice. It’s a little known fact that, as a young woman, June studied at the famed Actor’s Studio in New York at the recommendation of director Elia Kazan. As Brian Mansfield reported in USA Today:
June likely could have achieved greater career success in any of several entertainment fields: singing, writing, acting. Instead, she picked a supporting role.
"I chose to be Mrs. Johnny Cash in my life," she told USA Today in 1999. "I decided I’d allow him to be Moses and I’d be Moses’ brother Aaron, picking his arms up and padding along behind him.
"I stayed in submission to my husband, and he allowed me to do anything I wanted to. I felt like I was lucky to have that kind of romance."
And Johnny’s response: "She’s the greatest woman I have ever known," Johnny wrote in his 1997 autobiography. "Nobody else, except my mother, comes close."
A gentleman from my church told a story about his family. Each day as he came home from work, he stopped on his way into his house to pet his dog, and give it some affection. One day as he came in the house, his wife said with a little frustration, "Why is it that every day you always pet the dog and talk to the dog, but you never seem that happy to see your own wife and kids!? You spend several minutes with the dog, but you barely say anything to us." The man grumbled, "Well, you never seem that happy to see me either! But the dog is always glad to see me. She runs to me, puts on a happy face, and wags her tail when I pet her." The man didn’t think much more about their conversation until the next day when he came home from work. As he walked through the front door, to his surprise, there were his wife and daughter, down on all fours, smiling at him and wagging their "tails". He remarked, "If I can make time to pet my dog and let her know I’m glad to see her, I can surely do a better job of letting my wife and kids know how much I love them. We can all decide what kind of attitude we will have in the way we treat our families."
2. husbands "agape" v25-
"as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
a. sanctify = washing
b. present her to himself in splendor, w/o spot or wrinkle
c. be holy and w/o blemish
"as his own body"
a. not hating
b. nourshing
c. cherishes
A. OT based
B. A Mystery
C. Reflects Christ (and the church)
The greatest things in life were motivated by deep love = victories, healings, heroics
Ralph and Janice were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, and Pastor Jones decided to take advantage of their longevity by using their story as a sermon illustration. He asked Ralph to come on stage and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all those years.
Ralph turned to the congregation and said, "Well, I treated her with respect and spent money on her—but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The pastor asked, "Trips to where?"
"For our 25th anniversary," Ralph answered, "I took her to Beijing, China."
The crowd nodded and murmured in appreciation. When things quieted down, the pastor winked and said: "What a terrific example you are to husbands, Ralph. So, tell us where you’re going now for your 50th anniversary?"
Ralph replied, "I’m going to go back and get her."
The most devastating things in life can come from no love = mental illness, emotional abuse, dysfunctional, socio and psycho-paths
The man is not alone in his command to love, just alone as to whom he is specifically to love.
Men are to submit too...and it is out of that rel’p we learn how to be submissive across the board!
The huband’s love to his wife is sin quon non -- unlike any other
in that when he loves his wife there is a reflecion of s/t greater =
he relfects the Christ!
With the wife reflecting the church and the husband reflecting Christ, can you think of a safer place on earth?
The church is to be the ’safest place on earth’ and our homes are to be as well!
I have some confession to make: I haven’t been doing as well reflectng Christ in my home.
Perhaps you have some confession to make too. You might not know how to reflect Christ in your home,
but you do know that what is going on there right now is not a reflection of heaven.
God is saying that wives, if you really want to serve Christ every day, then submit to your husbands in everything. Everything?! That goes against the grain of the American ideal of what a woman should be! It shouldn’t surprise us. The feminist movement in America goes against the very core of what God says. Such rebellion against the proper role of a wife started in the late 1800’s and came into full bloom in the mid-1900s. In 1963, Betty Friedan wrote a book titled ’The Feminine Mystique.’ She observed that many college-educated women did not use their training but, as she put it, “remained in their homes resigned to being housewives.” In 1966 she organized the National Organization for Women (NOW). NOW is openly hostile to men, viewing them as the oppressors of women and denouncing them for regarding women solely as sexual objects. Their philosophy has tarnished the views which this generation upholds. Unfortunately, there are some very tragic consequences for the views of feminism. If you believe that you are your own person, even in marriage, you are dividing the unity which God established in marriage: “The two will become one flesh.” If a wife will not give up her promising career to nurture her family, there can be serious consequences. Our society questions why any woman would submit to her husband. After all, according to them, no liberated woman would “subject herself,” or “be subordinate” to a man, let alone “obey” him! The consequences: A tragic rise in divorces. Broken homes. Children raised by people who are not even their parents. Freedom from God’s will leads only to disaster!
Jack Benny was rather shy when he was young. One day at work he saw a young lady that greatly attracted his attention. But he was too shy to speak to her. So he went to the florist & ordered one red rose to be sent to her without any card enclosed. And every day he repeated that order. Well, after 4 days of receiving one red rose each day, the young lady went to the florist & asked who was sending them. The florist told her that it was some guy who worked where she did by the name of Jack Benny. “Yeah,” she said, “I think I know who he is.” So she searched Jack out & asked him why he was sending her those roses. He told her that he wanted to ask her out, & she accepted his invitation. And other dates followed that first one. But still, every day, she continued to receive one red rose. Then Jack & Mary got engaged, & Mary figured that the red roses would stop. But still they came. Finally, they were married, & even on the honeymoon she continued to receive one red rose each day. But once the honeymoon was over, she figured that the roses would stop. But month after month, then year after year, all their married life, every day without fail she received a red rose. Finally, Jack Benny died. But the very next day, here came another red rose. Thinking that maybe the florist somehow hadn’t heard, she called to tell him of Jack’s death & that he could now stop sending the roses. He answered, “But you don’t understand. Before he died, Jack made all the arrangements. You’ll receive one red rose every day for the rest of your life.”
3. everyone "hypotassomai" v21
"to one another"
"out of reverence for Christ"
the home is a safe place
the church is a safe place
We could stop the sermon right now, give an altar call but there is more.
The message goes beyond marriage in where it started = SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER, that means YOU!
Verse 21 started with all of us, unclarifyingly included in the sphere of relfecting Christ in
our relationships. How are YOU doing with that? Are all of your rel’ps reflecting Christ?
Reflecting Christ is the greatest privilege a Christian has! Nothing else will draw people to God like Jesus Christ!
The Word doesn’t say...if you lift up your accomplishments, you money, your remote, your golf club, your car, your trophies,
others will see God!
BUT JESUS DID SAY..."If I be lifted up I will draw all people to God!"
MUTUAL SUBMISSION = to each other = ALL of us are employed to reflect Christ in our relp’s.
Wives to husbands
Husbands to wives
Children to parents and grandparents
Parents to children
Grandparents to kids and grandkids
Employees to employers
Employers to employees
Vincent had met and fallen in love with a young girl named Marilyn. Neither one of them are seeking a relationship but a relationship is seeking them. Swept up by their emotions the two become deeply involved. Marilyn, a prostitute, is not prepared to fall in love and is certainly not prepared for the honesty love requires. She must tell Vincent who she is, knowing full well that her painful disclosure will probably mean the end of their relationship.
“Vincent?”
“Mmmm.”
“There’s ah…there’s something we need to talk about.”
“Only if you want to. I’m happy just to sit here and look at you. Sorry, this looks like something serious.”
“It’s about me and what I do.”
“Yeah, I wondered when you were going to pluck up the courage to talk about it. Don’t tell me, you work for the CIA, right? Sorry, sorry, I’ll shut up.”
She is totally absorbed in the remains of her salad, scrutinizing it for something. Anything too avoid his eyes.
“There’s no easy way of saying this. I’m a prostitute. I sleep with men for my living. It’s a business. I’m very professional.”
Time and silence have this thing they do together. They make a chasm that has no bottom to it. And there you are, standing right on the edge of it,. Aware that at any moment you may be falling and falling and falling, with no hope of recovery. At the moment they are at either side of it, each consumed by their private terror. She looks up at last from her salad. Vincent is crying. The tears are streaming down his cheeks, and he is biting his lip to stop himself sobbing.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to deceive you. I’m sorry, Vincent. I’m sorry.”
He can’t speak. He wants to, but nothing is working. He is looking at her, at her beautiful face, at her eyes, at the slight hardness around her mouth. And weeping and weeping. She reaches a hand across to hold his. She is beyond tears, empty and bleak and barren. Vincent is mumbling something, but is incoherent through the pain. And then he begins to repeat it again and again.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”
This is the worst thing she has ever heard in her life. She wants to scream, to break something, to tip over the table in rage. Instead some continental shelf rips loose within her. She begins gulping and moaning, a terrible agonizing cry from another place. And the tears are lowing. They grip each other’s hands, and lean their foreheads together. The tears are flowing into the abyss, and there is no end to them.
What did Marilyn expect Vincent to do? To pull away from her and have nothing to do with her. But in a strange and loving way Vincent did what Jesus would do; he looked beneath her behavior, saw her longings and all he could was weep. She expected criticism; what she received was understanding. Instead of hearing words of condemnation, Marilyn heard over and over again, “I love you.”
The movie Message in a Bottle follows the story of Garret Blake (played by Kevin Costner) as he cares for his sick wife, Catherine, and then mourns her loss. The depth of Garret’s love for her comes out late in the movie when he discovers a letter that she had written just before her illness took her life.
The scene opens as Garret comes home to find his frail wife has left their house by the shore. Through the rain and wind, he searches for her on the beach, following her footprints to an outcropping of rocks, where she’s throwing her message in a bottle into the sea. Gently, he wraps his parka around her and picks her up. Then he carries her home, tucks her into bed, and lies down beside her.
Throughout the search and rescue, we hear her voice narrating her letter:
To all the ships at sea and all the ports of call. To my family and to all friends and strangers. This is a message and a prayer.
The message is that my travels have taught me a great truth. I already had what everyone is searching for, but few ever find: the one person in the world who I was born to love forever. A person like me, of the outer banks and the blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures—self-made, self-taught; a harbor where I am forever home; where no wind and no trouble or even a little death can knock down this house.
The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love.
Don’t spend your life looking for that kind of love in your marriage; spend it BEING that kin of love in your marriage!
Don’t read every day pointing the verse out to your spouse, “Be submissive!” “Be loving!” instead, read every day and discover the kind of love that lays it’s life down for the another and gives up its own rights and wants for the other. Study the life of Christ and how he gave for you and then go and do likewise!
Don’t point out the weakness in the other! You have weaknesses too! Instead, submit yourself to Jesus Christ, love Jesus Christ and then turn what you learn loose on your spouse…and you will create a SAFE PLACE!
