Your Service Starts At Home
Today we have been given the opportunity to commission one of God’s servants, Bro. Darryl Johnson, into the office of Deacon. This is not something that should be entered into lightly, because it carries with it a great responsibility.
Jesus said in Matthew 20:26-28 “…but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servants and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many.” The leaders of the Church should have an attitude and disposition of a servant. The goal of the leadership is not to be served and/or worshipped, but to be of service to others. This goes for the Pastor, Assoc. Ministers, Deacons and everyone who holds a leadership position within the Church. This is the model that Christ gave us, that we should serve one another. The Deacon especially must be mindful of this. Their first responsibility is to God, then their family and finally the Church. As it relates to each of these, they should have the heart of a servant, not one of a ruler. I believe that Bro. Johnson has the heart of a servant and upon this recognition, we will ordain him for the service for which God has already called and prepared him to do.
We have discussed in the past what the role of a Deacon is within the Church. Remember in Acts 6 we find where the first deacons (servants) were selected. There was a situation where the Church was growing and some of the members “Hellenistic Jews” complained because their widows were being overlooked in the daily serving of food. When this complaint was brought to the disciples’ attention, they called the congregation together to discuss the matter. The disciples understood that their primary focus should be on studying the word of God so that they would be able to feed the people spiritually. This was their primary responsibility, yet they recognized that the physical needs of the people still needed to be attended to, so they made this recommendation to choose seven men who could serve in this capacity that later became the office of Deacon. Their task was to serve and take care of the membership.
Understanding and recognizing that this is a leadership position within the Church and carries with it a lot of responsibility, Paul gave some additional instructions for those being considered for this office. He says the following:
1 Tim. 3:8-13 “In like manner the deacons must be worthy of respect, not shifty and double-talkers but sincere in what they say, not given to much wine, not greedy for base gain, craving wealth and resorting to ignoble and dishonest methods of getting it. They must possess the mystic secret of faith, Christian truth as hidden from ungodly men with a clear conscience. And let them also be tried and investigated and proved first, then if they turn out to be above reproach, let them serve as deacons. The women (deaconess) likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, thoroughly trustworthy in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of but one wife and let them manage their children and their own households well.”
There are two verses in this scripture that I want to speak to today, verses 10 and 12.
Verse 10: “And let them also be tried and investigated and proved first, then if they turn out to be above reproach, let them serve as deacons.”
Paul said that the deacon should be tried before they are placed in the office. In other words, it is the responsibility of the leadership make sure that this person would not bring shame on this office. This was not a task that could be taken lightly. The testing was focused on making sure that the person understood what they were getting into, the impact on their lives as well as that of their family. It also included making sure that the person’s reputation within society was such that selecting this person would not reflect negatively on the Church and its mission. Bro. Darryl has passed the test. I, as well as others, have spent time with him, to understand his calling, his acceptance and his new responsibilities. His reputation within the community is fine and he loves his family. We will not have a deacon or deaconess in this ministry who does not accept the fact that their first ministry is their family – I will discuss this more in the next verse. With that said, I am very comfortable with him taking on this responsibility. Now the next verse is the one that I really want to make sure he as well as you understand.
Verse 12: “Let deacons be the husbands of but one wife and let them manage their children and their own households well.”
Here is where most deacons and ministers get in trouble, both male and female. If you do not get anything else out of this message, understand this, “All Ministry Service Starts At Home”. In verse 12 Paul says that the deacon must be the husband of one wife and they should manage their children and their households well. This speaks to the heart of the matter. A servant will miss God if they serve everyone else and forget about their own family. God should be number one in our lives and our relationship with Him should take preeminence over all other relationships. Why? Because He gives us what we need in order to maintain and have good relationships with others. Now following this is our relationship with our families. We must serve our families. We cannot forsake them for the “cause”, although there are times that we will make sacrifices for the ministry, we do not put our family second. This is a constant struggle, one that must be handled with care. I cannot tell you that I have done this to perfection, but it is my hearts desire. Darryl, you have consistently demonstrated that you are there for your family. I know I give you a hard time about missing Church sometimes, but I take comfort in knowing that it must be something to do with your kids or your wife.
How do we serve at home? When God made man and woman, He made them to be partners – fulfilling one another. It is our job to make sure that doing our job fulfills our spouses. Darryl, Paul says in Ephesians 5:25, 28-29 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Even so husbands should love their wives as being in a sense their own bodies, he who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church.”
Darryl, this is your first service unto God – love your wife. Treat her as if she is your own body. Shower her with affection, let her know that you could never find in another woman what you have in her. In doing so, not only are you taking care of business, but also you will be an example for others. Do not let Valerie be lonely at home while you are out doing all of the works of the ministry. God would not call you into a work if He expected that it would destroy your family. Love your wife; spend time with her, just the two of you. Make sure when you are away she has no reason to ever doubt where you are or what you are doing. Let her know that only she can provide for you what you need.
You also have a ministry to your children. Paul sums it up in Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger. Do not exasperate them to resentment, but rear them tenderly in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.”
You are to train your kids and not provoke them to resentment. Have you ever wondered why some say that preacher’s kids are the worst kids on the block? If a man or woman of God does not spend time with their kids because of their ministry, those kids, who live in the presence of a Godly household, grow up with resentment. They see God as the one who has taken their father or mother away from them. This resentment can take the form of acting out, rebellion and choosing to turn against God. When we fail to do our job with our children, it hurts them. Doing our jobs include spending time with them, supporting them, disciplining them and being affectionate with them. By doing these things and others, you build their security that nothing replaces them in your life.
When a leader takes care of their family, they then are ready to lead in God’s ministry. God is about family and we cannot forget that. Bro. Darryl, when the members see that you are treating your family well, that you are demonstrating your love to them and that you believe second to your relationship with God your family is most important, they will accept you as their deacon.
There are two types of deacons in most Churches: those that the membership refer to as “A deacon in our church” and those that the membership refers to as “My deacon”. The first one does not have a full relationship with the Church body while the second one does. The members of the first deacon do not know if they can be trusted, where as the members of the second deacon is like family. When the membership refers to you as “their deacon” and introduces you as such, that is a high honor because it demonstrates that they have taken ownership of you. This position of ownership is earned and can be lost only by your actions.
