Anger in the Midst of Peace
Sunday - July 6, 2003
“Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Eph. 4:26-27
Early last Sunday morning while vacationing in the mountains of San Diego, I was sitting on the balcony while everyone else was still asleep. The air was calm, the birds were chirping and the flowers were beautiful. I was reading a book on John and meditating on what I was reading and thinking about how peaceful it was being in such a beautiful place. However, my meditation was interrupted by a loud voice coming from the condo across the street. I heard a man and a woman yelling at each other and the man said some things that were extremely nasty. She responded in kind. I later heard the man get into it with a teenage boy. While all of this was going on, I thought “how can such anger exist in such a peaceful place?”
This is the basis for the message this morning. I want you to examine those times when you have been angry and said things you later regretted. I also want to encourage you, as I have myself, to make a decision to guard your tongue, especially when you are angry. In the times of anger, people really say what’s on their minds and justify it by saying they were only speaking the truth. This morning, we will examine our “other side” – the side that gets fired up and sometimes causes us to sin against God and our fellow man.
Paul wrote in Ephesians that we should be “angry and sin not.” Is it possible to get angry and not sin? Anger is defined as “hostile feelings because of opposition.” Hostile means “of or characteristic of an enemy, unfriendly, a feeling of enmity, or ill will.” If we combine these two definition, it would read something like this “Anger is a hostile feeling because of opposition, a feeling that characterizes an enemy, one who desires ill will towards another.”
When you read this, it makes you wonder if you can truly be angry and sin not. The very nature of anger brings us to the point of taking on the characteristic of an enemy, with the desire to do ill will, or not to do good will towards the person who made us angry. This is where we can easily enter into sin and why Paul felt it was important to remind us that if we become angry, we must not sin. When we as Christians are saved, we don’t lose our emotions, those feelings that are a natural part of us. What happens is that with time we learn to control them. We have examples in the Bible of people who became angry, maybe justifiably, and sinned. We also have examples of Christ becoming angry and not sinning. Paul also said that we should not let the sun go down on our anger so that we do not give an opportunity to the devil. This is a key point. The longer you let anger fester, the worse it gets and the angrier you get. Paul says that our anger should not last past the day; deal with it so that it does not lead us to sin. He paints the picture that if we don’t deal with it, Satan is waiting to use that against us. Let look at some Biblical examples.
Genesis 4:6 says “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?” This is the story of the first murder described in the Bible. Cain and his brother Abel brought a sacrifice to God; God accepted Abel’s and rejected Cain’s. Cain became angry and focused that anger on Abel. Although Abel had done absolutely nothing to Cain, to Cain he represented the “reason” God rejected his sacrifice. God told Cain that if he does well his countenance will be uplifted, but if he does not do well, sin lies at the door. Cain’s anger festered until he acted on it and killed his brother. Remember the definition of anger, having hostile feelings, having a desire for ill will towards another. The Bible doesn’t tell us how long (how many days) he was angry, only that it got to the point where it festered until he released it by killing his brother. From this we see why Paul said “be angry and yet do not sin, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”
Genesis 49:7 says “Cursed be their anger, for it is fierce; and their wrath, for it is cruel…..” Jacob is speaking prophecies towards his sons as he is preparing to die. He references what Simeon and Levi did back in Genesis 34. Remember their sister Dinah was raped and they took revenge on the Shechem and all the men of the city by killing them. Jacob cursed their anger and said they would not inherit what God had promised. Their descendants did not inherit on their own; their tribes basically ceased to exist as the others and were dispersed among their brothers. Again, we see the result of anger and how it led to sin.
Numbers 20:12 says “But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, because you have not believed Me, to treat Me as holy in the sight of the sons of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” What happened here? Moses got fed up with the Children of Israel complaining and he sinned against God. When the people cried out for water, Moses went before the Lord. God told Moses to take the rod in his hand and speak to the rock and it would bring forth water. But Moses, in his anger, hit the rock twice instead of just speaking to it. For this, he was not allowed to enter the Promised Land. Anger built up over time can even cause us to rebel against God. Moses had grown tired of the people complaining and in his anger – even though he was justified – he sinned against God. We never have justification to sin against God.
We have other examples but I think with these you see the point I am trying to make. Paul said that we should get angry, but should not sin and that we should not let the sun go down on our anger and that we do not give the devil an opportunity. In each of these examples, we see just the opposite. In each example, someone became angry, they held onto the anger which gave the devil an opportunity which ultimately caused them to sin.
It’s very important to realize that we are no different. In some ways we are worse off – as it relates to our attitudes and ways of doing things. We will get angry about something, but we must recognize the reason, deal with it, and move on. When we hold the anger and let it fester, we eventually get to the boiling point and it comes out. You can’t get angry and it not come out.
Whenever I got angry about something as a teenager, I wanted everyone to know. I would put on my face and walk around not talking, just hoping someone would ask me what was wrong so I could let them have it. Now when I get angry I shut down. When someone asks me what is wrong, I say “nothing” because I don’t want to talk about it. It may take me a day or two to finally discuss it with that person. I told myself this was good because it gave me time to process what I wanted to say and how I could say it the right way. But the fact is, I wanted to make sure the other person knew it and suffered. I can see myself in Cain, Simeon & Levi and Moses. I know what happens when I let anger fester. The longer I hold on to it the angrier I become. I have been so angry with a person that I refused to talk to them or allow them to talk with me. I have been where I was so angry that it burned the inside of my stomach, just waiting to explode. But I recognize it now. I have not perfected my responses yet, but I am moving in the right direction.
What about you? Some people have been angry for years and it’s the only way they know how to be. But all of us have the opportunity to come to the point where we can be angry and not sin. I believe it’s a sin “for me” when someone angers me and I mistreat them. So how do we handle our anger? How can we get past it and not let it fester?
Here are the steps to dealing with anger, whether you are angry with someone or they are angry with you. If we follow these simple steps, according to Scripture, we will get to the point where we can be angry without sinning.
Handling Anger without Sinning and Giving Opportunity to the Devil
1. Forgive. The first step in every situation is to forgive. Anger cannot fester and grow in the presence of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act – it requires an action on our part. The act of forgiving will bring us to the point of treating the person as if they never made us angry. The first step is to “immediately” start the forgiving process.
2. Deal With It. Dealing with the situation instead of shutting down and pouting enables us to get to the root cause of the anger. The quicker we deal with it the better off we will be. Remember Paul said do not let the sun go down on your anger. In other words deal it that day. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Recognize what actually happened that made you angry. This does not require perceptions and “thoughts” but the actual facts of what offended you or what you did to offend someone else. Be open to hearing the truth and discussing it.
3. Accept Responsibility. This is a hard one. In order to accept responsibility, I must admit that I did something wrong. Accept responsibility for your action. If this means you must say you were wrong, do so. I have often tried to justify my anger by placing the blame on the other person. Regardless of what someone else does to you, only you are responsible for your anger and what you do with it.
4. No Justifying Your Anger. Yes you may have a right to be angry. Yes you may have been wronged. Yes the other person may deserve what you are giving them. But it does not matter. If you complete the first step with the right “heart” you will never get to this step. Justifying your anger will give you the opportunity to keep it because you are in the right. It also decreases your opportunity to forgive. Address your anger for what it is and deal with it.
5. Let It Go. Yes, let it go. You can go through all of the previous steps and still in some ways hold onto the anger. If you hold on to it, it will cloud your responses to the person who angered you. Let it go.
These steps are simple when you read them, but can be difficult to put into action. When I listened to that man yelling, I was troubled. I went inside and later told Nikki about it and she made a comment that really made me think: “Rodney that is within all of us.” She was absolutely right. All of us have the “potential” to say some of the things that man said to his wife and son – all of us. However, we do make choices. We may think certain things while we let the anger fester, but we oftentimes choose not to say what we are thinking. By going through these steps, we can eventually get to the point where we do not think things that we know we should never say.
I have only touched the surface of this topic. Each of us must examine ourselves. We must ask the question, “What am I angry about? What anger do I have that I have not dealt with or released?” This will start your healing process.
Let me close with this thought. Remember I said earlier that some people have been angry for so long it’s the only way that they know. If you fall into this category, God can help you face your anger – if you make the first step and ask Him to. Some people do not even know that they are angry. They may not realize what is the root cause or why they get angry so quick at the littlest things. There is a reason. God can help. Will you turn it over to Him?
