Preparation For Promotion Part 4: Test of Forgiveness
Scriptures: Deuteronomy 23:4, 6; Romans 12:14; Genesis 50:14, 15, 19-21
Introduction:
This will be the final message in this series on Preparation for Promotion. In this message we will look at the final test, the test of forgiveness. There is some background information we need to understand about forgiveness before I go into handling the actual tests of forgiveness. Let me start with forgiveness under the Old Testament Law versus forgiveness under our New Covenant in Christ.
I. Old Testament Law versus the New Covenant
The Old Testament discouraged the Hebrews from seeking either the peace or prosperity of their enemies. Deuteronomy 23:4, 6 says “Because they did not meet you with bread and water on the road when you came out of Egypt, and because they hired against you Balaam the son of Beor from Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse you….You shall not seek their peace nor their prosperity all your days forever.” God told the Children of Israel that they were not to seek peace or the prosperity with the Ammonite or the Moabites because of how these people treated them when they came out of Egypt. They were not to forgive them. We know that God did not want the Children of Israel to think that living lives like these people (following a pagan way of life) would lead to their prosperity. This law made it legitimate for a follower of the covenant ethic to hate rather than to forgive his enemy.
When we look at our new covenant in Christ, Jesus summed up what our attitudes should be when He contrasted the love of one’s friends with the hatred of one’s enemies. Matthew 5:43-44 says “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” In expounding the ethic of the New Covenant, Christ taught that forgiveness is a duty of which no limit can be set (Luke 17:4). Jesus does not state that there is any wrong so gross nor so often repeated that it is beyond forgiveness. To Him, having an unforgiving spirit is one of the most heinous of sins. Our example of forgiveness not only comes through Christ, but also how God deals with us. Let review a few Scriptures of what happens when God forgives sin.
II. When God Forgives
“Indeed it was for my own peace that I had great bitterness; but You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back.” Isaiah 38:17
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25
“He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19
“….For I will forgive their iniquity and their sin I will remember no more.” Jeremiah 31:34
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalms 103:12
The reason we have a “duty” to forgive is because of what God has done and continues to do in our lives. When He forgives us, it is a complete restoration. God’s forgiveness is conditional upon our willingness to forgive. It is not because God forgives grudgingly, but because forgiveness alone indicates that disposition of mind which humbly accepts God’s divine pardon. When God forgives, it results in the complete removal of all estrangement and alienation between God and mankind. It restores completely the relationship that existed prior to the sin. Ideally the same result is attained in human forgiveness although the memory of the sin remains with both parties as a barrier between them, and even when there is complete restoration to the former state, the alienation cannot entirely be removed from memory. The closest we come to this is when we are dealing with our children or family members. When we forgive our kids of their wrong doings, we forgive and forget about it. We do not constantly wave a flag with their mistakes written on it in their faces. We can also do the same things with other blood relatives. However, this is much harder to accomplish with spouses, friends and other people not as close to us. When God forgives, He restores a person to the condition of the former favor. Having said this, there are still misunderstandings around forgiving someone. Let’s examine what forgiving does not mean.
III. Forgiveness Does Not Mean…
You have all heard it said that forgiveness means that you put the wrong behind you and treat the person as if it never happened. It is important that we understand the true context of what this means. Forgiveness is one part of a mutual relationship; the other part is the repentance of the offended. The full effect of forgiveness in action is the restoration of the person and the relationship to their former position, the position before the sin was committed. But, such a restoration requires the cooperation of both parties. There must be a granting and an acceptance of the forgiveness. Sincere, deep-felt sorrow for the wrong, which works repentance (2 Cor. 7:10), is a state of mind that insures the acceptance of the forgiveness. Hence Jesus commands forgiveness when the offender turns again and says “I repent”. It was this state of mind that led the father joyfully to welcome his Prodigal son home even before his son told him about his change of heart. Having said that, let me make something perfectly clear. It is not to be supposed that failure to repent on the part of the offender releases us from our obligations to extend forgiveness. Even without the offender repenting, we must still have a forgiving state of mind. This was what Jesus referenced in Matthew 18:35 when He said “…So My Heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” When we are offended, we should seek to bring the wrongdoer to repentance (Luke 17:3). We are to carry this pursuit to the point of making every reasonable effort to win the wrongdoer, and only when we have exhausted every effort may we abandon it. The object is to gain our brother or sister. Here is the point I want to make, our forgiving someone does not mean that we must restore them to the former relationship. If they repent and stop the behavior, then we can work on restoring the relationship. However, if there is no repentance or change, we forgive them and move on, possibly forsaking the relationship altogether. You cannot restore a relationship when the person continues to walk in whatever caused the disruption. Although the relationship is not restored, in our hearts we forgive them.
IV. The Test of Forgiveness
One interesting thing about the test of forgiveness is that we will NEVER have to take this test just ONCE. The devil is an equal opportunity offender and will continue to strike out against us. And, what is most interesting is that most of the time he will use those who are closest to us to rub us the wrong way and cause us to take the test of forgiveness the quickest. One of the problems with forgiveness and not giving it is unforgiveness affects our soul (mind, will and emotions). Unforgiveness is a poison of the enemy that kills the soul and eventually deadens our spirit. How does offense come making forgiveness necessary?
We all have unmet needs and expectations. The fact that we all have unmet needs and expectations sets us up to be disappointed, hurt and offended. These unmet needs require us to be ready to offer forgiveness. Many times our needs and expectations will not be met because they are unreal. Matthew 11:1-6 records the situation where John the Baptist was in prison. While in prison, he heard what Jesus was doing. In verse three, he sent his disciples to ask Jesus this question; “Are you the One who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” John had leaped in his mother’s womb when Mary told his mother that she was pregnant with Jesus. John had baptized Jesus before he started His ministry. The question would seem to be the last question that John would be asking Jesus. But understand John’s situation. He was in prison knowing that his fate was not good. The question that he seemed to be asking Jesus was; “Jesus, why didn’t You come and get me out of prison?” John was hurt and his hurt caused him to doubt Jesus. He had unmet expectations. How do we know this? Look at what Jesus said in verse six. First He told John’s disciples to tell John everything that He was doing. After that He made this statement: “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” Jesus’ answer satisfied John, especially what He said in verse six. Many people never get over a hurt because they never stop talking about it. Paul says in Romans 12:14 and 20, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse….On the contrary if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” When we have been offended and hurt, to pass the test of forgiveness, we must put our forgiveness in action through how we treat the one who offended us. When we recognize that we will have unmet needs and expectations, how we handle those can determine our need to walk in forgiveness.
We need to learn to forgive those people who disappointment us and are not sensitive to us in our time of need. There are times when we have people in our lives that disappoint us. These same individuals, although we may constantly be there for them when they are in need, tend to be insensitive to us in our times of needs. This lack of sensitivity causes offense which oftentimes goes unspoken. Remember Joseph? Genesis 50:14, 15, 19-21 records “Then Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had accompanied him to his father’s funeral. But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers were afraid. ‘Now Joseph will pay us back for all the evil we did to him,’ they said….But Joseph told them ‘Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, to judge and punish you? As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. Indeed, I myself will take care of you and your families.’ And he spoke very kindly to them, reassuring them.” (NLT) Joseph brothers thought for sure that Joseph would take his revenge on them now that their father was dead. However, Joseph, knowing what God had done through the situation and how He had used it to elevate him in order to save his whole family, did not hold any malice against his brothers. He forgave them. His forgiveness was put into words and backed up with actions. What about you? Could you walk in that kind of forgiveness where once you have the upper hand you would not make the offending party pay for what they did to you? This was a major test of forgiveness for Joseph and he passed. Our inability to forgive blocks God from forgiving us. You may take the stand with God and say "But God, that’s not fair, what they did really hurt” and God could say the same to you about what you did to Him. This is why the devil tries so hard to keep us from forgiving, because it puts a wall up between us and our heavenly Father. There are two individuals we must learn to forgive first in order that we might be able to forgive others. The first person is God and the second person is ourselves.
Forgiving God. This may seem absurd to some of you but we need to learn how to forgive God. There are many people out in the world who are mad at God and refuse to have a relationship with Him because He “supposedly” did something to them. He has not lived up to their expectations. I remember a scene from the movie “Independence Day”. In the movie, the aliens were attacking and the father of Jeff Goldbloom’s character made the statement that he had not talked with God since his wife died. There are a lot of people in the world who are mad at God because they lost a loved one. Maybe your parents died young and you grew up in foster homes. Maybe you lost a child and you cannot understand how others can have kids and not want them. Maybe you blame God for a situation on your job that does not seem to get any better. Maybe you were a faithful Church member and lost your job and you became angry at God. Maybe you have been crying out and crying out to God and yet your prayers go unanswered. You have multiple questions about why God did not do what you wanted. Why He did not heal so and so. Why there continues to be suffering in the world. And the list goes on and on. We can find a lot of reasons to be mad at God and most if not all of them are without merit. Who is to say that God was or was not responsible for anything that you have gone through? And even if He is responsible, do you trust Him enough to know that He will bring you through to the other side and you will be okay? We must learn to forgive God, not for His sake, but for our own, that we may go free. Something to consider before you blame God. When you are faced with a situation that you want to blame on God, ask yourself the following two questions. First ask yourself “Do I really know God?” If that answer is yes, ask yourself the second question “Why would a loving God seek to hurt me?” If we truly know God, then we know that He only seeks our good and that some things we think are bad, He had nothing to do with causing them. And, this is key, if God was involved, He was involved to protect us, not harm us. Begin to think of God as the one person who has your back and will ALWAYS act in your best interest. Our Father will only act in ways that support or help us, not harm us.
Forgiving Ourselves. We must learn to forgive and release ourselves. Who are we to hold on to something that God has eliminated, destroyed and erased? I have done some things that have hurt others. Although I asked forgiveness and received it, I carried the pain from the experience for a very long time afterwards. I have done some things that I am ashamed of, things that I know God has forgiven me for, yet when I think of them, I can still put myself back into the bondage of the memory. Forgiving ourselves is hard because we carry the memory of the incidents and oftentimes our failures impact others who also carries the memory. With every situation, the devil will remind us of our failures in hopes of crushing our drive to draw closer to God. I want to ask you a simple question. “If you made a very bad mistake on your job, would you remind your boss of the mistake every time you talked with him or her?” When we ask God to forgive us, no matter how bad the sin was, when we repent and ask for forgiveness, God grants it. When God grants us forgiveness, it is as if we never did it for He remembers it no more. This is why Satan does not want us to forgive, because when God forgives, it is permanent. So just as you would not keep reminding your boss of your mistake, do not keep reminding God or yourself of your failures. God is telling us that we are free and I believe it hurts Him to see us continue to operate as if we are in bondage. When we are able to forgive ourselves, we become equipped to forgive others more easily. When we cannot forgive ourselves, we fail to forgive others. Our ability to forgive starts within.
Conclusion: I know that I only touched the surface of forgiveness, but hopefully you have enough to begin your personal journey to understanding where you are in your individual walk. I started this series by telling you that God desires to promote you and hopefully you understand the reality of this statement. As you reflect on the tests of trust, security, faithfulness and forgiveness, recognize that while you may be doing great with some tests, there is room for growth with others. Remember, it is not a question of whether you will fail a test, but will you learn from them until you are consistently passing them successfully. Be patient, knowing that there will be times when you fail, but stay with it. God is very patient with us as we continue to walk towards Him. May God continue to bless and keep each of you.
