The Schemes of the Devil Part 6: Un-forgiveness Part 3
Scriptures: Eph. 4:26; 31; Matt. 5:25; Ps. 23:4; 56:4; Pro. 17:22
Introduction:
Last week I shared with you how it is fully our responsibility to forgive, regardless of the attitude of the offending person. Being able to walk in forgiveness brings us closer to being perfected in God’s eyes. In my closing statement last week, I shared with you that there are four outputs that are evident in the life of someone who does not forgive. Those four outputs are anger, hurt, fear and bitterness. This morning I will close out this series by focusing on how Satan uses our un-forgiveness to achieve his ultimate goal of our living our lives encased in bitterness.
Anger
You may put these in a different order of how they develop, but I chose this order based on situations of individuals I have counseled as well as situations that I have been involved in. Immediately when an offense happens, the first response is anger. I have talked about anger before in this series so I will not dwell on it too much here. Anger is the first response that we have to being offended. I shared with you previously what is recorded in Ephesians 4:26 which says “Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Paul made this statement and later I will share with you his experience with anger and bitterness.
When the offense first happens, Satan will use our anger, that first uncontrollable feeling that rises to the surface, to entrap us. Immediately following the offense we must make a decision. We can do as Proverbs says and give a calm answer which cools down the response or we can give a heated response which takes the offense to the next level (Proverbs 15:1). Satan wishes that we will take the latter response. Ephesians 4:31 says “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” There is a reason that we have been instructed to put this behind us and it is because of the “actions” that attaches itself to our anger. People have been killed in an emotional response of anger. There was no pre-mediation, no planning, no desire to kill, it just happened in a fit of rage. This is called voluntary manslaughter as there was no intent or previous planning to kill. This is probably the worst case of what can happen with anger, one person killing another. But there are other actions that are attached to the anger. When we become angry due to an offense, sometimes the response to the anger is an outburst and afterwards we let it go and think nothing more about it. Then there are the times when we stifle our anger and it just festers within us. This anger, if not released or removed from us, begins to sow its seed into our hearts. When the seeds of anger ripen, the fruit of the anger is exposed and I will talk about that shortly.
II. Hurt
The second output of being offended which also plants its seeds into our heart is hurt. This hurt is an emotional pain that we feel after the initial anger. You see, the hurt develops after we have been angry and have had time to think about what has taken place. We reflect on the situation: what was said and why; and our response. Then we ask the proverbial question “Why”. Why did they do it? What did I do to deserve being treated like that? When you arrive at the answer that you did nothing wrong, the hurt returns to anger which acts as water to the seeds of anger that have already been deposited in our hearts. Jesus said “Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, in order that your opponent may not deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer and you be thrown into prison.” (Matthew 5:25) It you take this verse and join it with the verse we read earlier from Ephesians 4:26, there is a reason that we should reconcile (not let the sun go down on our anger). The longer we keep something, the more fertilizer and water we add to those seeds that are being planted by the anger and hurt.
Let me give you an example. How many of you have ever had a boy or girlfriend that you loved dearly break up with you? Okay teenagers, although you might think it was true love, you can put your hands down. Anyway, remember the hurt? Remember how you played the relationship and breakup over and over in your mind until you were sick. If you were the one responsible for the break up, remember how easy it was to move on to the next chapter of your life? However, when it was you who was broken up with, remember how angry you got after the feelings of hurt? Remember how you wanted to get even? Remember how you may have done something stupid because the seeds of hurt and anger quickly took root in your heart and grew until you acted. God’s desire for us is that we kill those seeds before they can take root and grow.
III. Fear
After the seeds or anger and hurt have taken root in our hearts, the final seeds are sown, the seeds of fear; of being scared that the offense will happen again. Those seeds are sown as a way to protect us from the one who offended us as well as from those who might offend us in the future. We often see this when someone was in a bad relationship and vows to never get into another similar relationship. I know people who operate in fear because of something that happened in their past and they are not happy. God’s joy, which should reside within all of His children, is blocked by fear. Fear takes on a lot of different forms, yet the end result is the same; it shuts down our spirits and God’s ability to work through us.
In the 23rd Psalm, David says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me.” This is a key verse as it pertains to our being able to forgive. I shared with you before that when David wrote this there was actually a valley that was between two tall mountains. Those mountains blocked out the sun and during certain times of the day, the valley was as dark as night even though it was daytime. It was a good place for a shepherd to be ambushed. The thieves would attempt to kill the shepherd in order to steal the flock. This is what David was referring to when he said that even though he walked through the valley of the shadow of death, he would fear no evil. Being scared of being hurt or offended after it happened once can become a prime motivating factor as to how we live our lives. That fear will change us; how we interact with those around us; and especially how we let God use us. The fear will require us to make decisions that we normally would not make in order to protect ourselves. David sums up his rationale in Psalm 56:4 when he said “In God, whose word I praise, in God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid, what can mere man do to me?” God did not promise that offenses would not come, actually His word says that they will come, but He promised to be there for us to help us through them. Fear cripples emotionally, physically and spiritually. When these seeds are growing in conjunction with the seeds and anger and hurt, it leads to one conclusion, bitterness.
IV. Bitterness
When you take the time to examine how anyone becomes bitter, it starts with an offense that was not forgiven. Some of the words that are given in the definition of bitterness are showing pain (hurt); sharp and disagreeable; harsh; resentful; cynical. If you examine these key words associated with bitterness, you will find that one of the underlying definitions associated with these words is hurt and un-forgiveness. Unresolved forgiveness due to offenses will lead to one becoming bitter. Being bitter will affect your physical, emotional and spiritual health. Proverbs 17:22 says “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries of the bones.” In other words, a heart that is full of joy which comes from God will act as medicine on the body while a broken or bitter spirit will kill the body (dry up the bones). It has been proven in patients being treated for cancer that those with a joyful, happy spirit throughout their treatment do much better than those who are bitter during their treatment. Being bitter can cause you to become sick physically. When you look at the Hebrew and Greek words for bitterness, one of the words that stand out is poison. Bitterness acts as a poison.
You all know the story of Cain and Abel as recorded in Genesis chapter 4. One day both sons brought a sacrificial offering to God. Abel brought a blood sacrifice in the form of one of his firstlings while Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground. God accepted Abel’s offering but not Cain’s. Notice Cain’s response as recorded in Genesis 4:5 when God did not accept his offering: “….Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.” Cain became very angry and sad because God rejected his offering. God noticed Cain’s response and questioned him as to why he was angry and why his countenance had fallen. God understood what the output of anger could be. In verse 7 of this chapter, God tells Cain “…..if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”
God was warning Cain of what would happen if he did not make the right decision to handle his anger and do what was right. You know the outcome of the story. Not only did Cain not listen to God, but soon thereafter he killed his own brother. Cain became angry and instead of releasing it he became bitter. When he became bitter, his view of his own brother changed to the point that he probably could not stand to look at him. The bitterness had poisoned him. We do not know every detail, but the Scripture records that Cain apparently told Abel about his conversation with God (verse 8) and it was after that that Cain killed him. Bitterness will poison you and turn you against everyone. Proverbs 14:10 says “The heart knows its own bitterness and a stranger does not share its joy.” This tells us that even a stranger can look at someone and tell that they are bitter. When someone is bitter, it leaks from their spirits like sweat coming from the pores of your skin. It is as if the bitterness has a very distinct odor that can literally be smelled with the nose.
The book of Acts, chapter 8, records an interesting story relating to bitterness. There was a man named Simon who lived in the city of Samaria who was practicing magic. He claimed to be someone great and amazed the people to the point that they referred to him as “the one called the Great Power of God.” He was enjoying a lot of success and accolades until Philip arrived on the scene. Philip was preaching and teaching the good news of Jesus Christ and the city began to believe and be baptized. Philip was also performing great miracles which interested Simon and Simon began to follow Philip. When the Apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria was being converted, they sent Peter and John to the city to lay hands on them that they might receive the Holy Spirit. When Simon witnessed Peter and John laying on hands and the people receiving the Holy Spirit, his true self came forth. He offered Peter and John money to give him the authority to do the same. Peter and John were very offended by the request. Peter tells him that his request would cost him his life because he tried to buy the gift of God with money. Notice what Peter identified as Simon underlying motivation in verse 23: “For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity.” Based on what Peter says, Simon whole motivation for joining Philip and trying to bribe Peter and John was so that he could once again attain the level of importance he had before Philip ever started preaching there. He had become so bitter at losing his importance in their society that he thought by joining the new group in town he could reclaim some of his own importance. There are many people in our society who latches on to someone they deem more important than themselves in order to elevate their own importance. All of Simon’s actions had been motivated by his bitterness.
There is one more story I want to share with you pertaining to bitterness and forgiveness. Remember what Paul said in Ephesians 4:31? He said “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” I believe Paul was talking from personal experience. In Acts chapter 13, verse 2, it records “And while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” The Holy Spirit had anointed Barnabas and Saul for a specific job, reaching out to the Gentile. After the apostles prayed and laid hands on them, they sent them forth to do what the Holy Spirit had called them to do. Several chapters later, we see that Paul and Barnabas had been very successful. In chapter 15, however, an issue arose as they were preparing for their second missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to take his cousin, John Mark, with them. Paul, however, did not want to take John with them. Apparently John Mark had deserted them before and had not gone with them to do the work so Paul believed he did not deserve to go back with them after the work had been completed. Paul had not forgiven John Mark for deserting them and actually had some bitterness against him. However, Barnabas not wanting to give up continued to press the issue which caused a big argument. Verse 39 records the result: “And there arose such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus.” Although the Holy Spirit had called them to work side by side; Paul’s bitterness caused them to separate. Although Paul’s feelings may have been correct, Barnabas expected him to get over the offense. The result was that they separated and went their separate ways. Barnabas took John Mark with him and Paul chose Silas to go with him. No where does it state that the Holy Spirit had given them permission to go their separate ways and therefore we will never know what else the Holy Spirit had planned for them had they stayed together. Satan used Paul’s bitterness to kill this union and thus stopped what the Holy Spirit was doing with them working together, side by side.
Although they separated, we know from Scripture that Paul eventually saw the error of his ways and forgave John Mark. When Paul was closing out his letter to the Colossians, he mentions John Mark by name (Col. 4:10). Also in Paul’s second letter to Timothy he mentions John Mark. He actually asks for John Mark to be sent to him. 2 Timothy 4:11 records “Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you for he is useful to me for service.” This shows that Paul had a change of heart towards John Mark. Paul had worked through his disappointment and bitterness.
Conclusion
Anger, hurt and fear almost always follows a serious offense. This causes us to put up walls around us to protect ourselves against future offenses. Fear is followed by bitterness which is Satan’s ultimate goal. I have shown you the results of bitterness and what it can do to you physically and spiritually. I’ve also shown how it can ruin relationships that God ordained. Satan loves bitterness, especially when he can influence us to walk in it while thinking we are being righteous. It does not matter if our anger, hurt and fear is justified, it will eventually lead to bitterness if not forgiven. There is no place for bitterness in the life of a Christian. We must not continue to allow Satan to lie to us about our own righteous un-forgiveness. Our un-forgiveness will eventually harden our hearts to where God cannot use us. God has called us to be wise, especially as it pertains to the schemes of our enemy. I pray that this series has helped each of you better understand what Satan is up to. May God bless you.
