INTRO.- Do you know what is closer than a brother?
A good friend. A faithful friend is closer than a brother.
Prov. 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Do you have a friend who sticks closer than a brother? Or did you ever? I’d have a number of them and still have them.
ILL.- Dr. Gerald (Jerry) Ford, southern Baptist preacher in Marion, IL. He used to preach in Jonesboro. Yep, sure did, Jonesboro, IL, that is and that was when I preached in Anna, IL. We served together with the local ministerial alliance. He was down to earth, sincere, common as an old shoe, a good preacher, and a good friend.
We’ve swapped a lot of stories about people and life. We’ve laughed together. Ate together. Attended church together.
One time I walked into a ministerial alliance meeting, Jerry looked up at me and declared, “Jimmy Swaggart” and everybody laughed. You see, I had just started combing my hair straight back and Jerry thought I looked a lot like Jimmy Swaggart. That remark should have been enough to make me change my hair back with the part in it.
Let me tell you a little about him to show what kind of guy he is. One time we had lunch at Ponderosa. Jerry filled his plate, sat down and started eating. I said, “Hey, aren’t you going to pray and give thanks?” He said, “The Lord knows I’m thankful.” He then said, “Thank you, Lord” and dove into that plate of food.
We attended several area church services together. I remember preaching one time at what we called the annual Union County Fair Service. Normally, this service would take place at the fair grounds but it was going to rain so we went to the biggest church building in town, which was First Baptist. I preached a simple but lively sermon that evening. And Jerry sat laughed, cackled but also “amened” me.
One time I attended a revival at his church and wouldn’t you know it, he tried to embarrass me. He said from the pulpit, “Steve Shepherd is here tonight from the Christian Church. He’s really a Baptist …” And then he said something about finally coming back home.
The only thing bad about him is that he is always trying to get me to spend my money on something. He’ll buy something like a new Plasma TV and then write me, saying, “You ought to get one!”
A man of many companions may come to ruin. Many companions. Normally, you would think it would be good to have many companions. How could many companions cause ruin? It depends on the kinds of companions you are talking about.
ILL.- When I worked for Safeway many years ago there was another young man who worked there and came from a very good family in the area. In fact, his dad was an elder or deacon in one of our churches, as I recall. And his older brother was a preacher. But this guy was not the kind of guy you would want for a close friend. Why? What was wrong with him? He was friendly enough. He seemed to have a good personality. What was wrong with him? HE WAS A BOOZER AND A SKIRT CHASER. He lived to sleep with one girl after another.
A man of many companions may come to ruin. That is, if you have the wrong kind of companions. It wouldn’t make any difference how many of them you had if they were crooked or corrupt.
PROP.- In this text, Paul lists some good friends, which could be categorized in this way.
1- Staying friends
2- Praying friends
3- Straying friends
I. STAYING FRIENDS
7Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord.
Tychicus was a staying friend. A dear brother to Paul. A faithful minister and a fellow servant. All very good traits.
“He will tell you all the news about me.” HE MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY CLOSE FRIEND TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS.
Do you have a friend who knows all about you? One in whom you can confide? Perhaps one you can tell all the good and the bad about you?
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
Do you have a friend to whom you can confess your sins? That would require your friend to be very trustworthy. Wow! What a friend!
Should we do this? Should we confess our sins to one another and pray for one another? Yes, of course. However, I’d rather you confess your sins and you pray for me!
ILL.- That reminds me of that old story about the four preachers confessing their sins to one another. They said something to effect, “We are always asking our church members to confess their sins so why don’t we?”
One said, “Well, I hate to admit it but I love beer. I drink at least a six-pack every week.” Another said, “I just love sports so much that I have to see every ball game that comes on TV whether I’ve got my work done or not.” A third preacher said, “I love to eat. I live to eat. I love buffets where I gorge myself silly.” The fourth preacher said, “Well, my big sin is telling stories about others and I can hardly wait to get out of here!”
The moral of the story is this: BE CAREFUL TO WHOM YOU CONFESS!
Tychicus was a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. Those words tell a lot about him. Can’t get much better than those.
Whenever some friend is a faithful servant of Christ, no matter what they do (preach or otherwise), they are good, staying friends.
ILL.- Ralph Riemensnider of Iberia, MO, is just such a person. He was an elder of the Christian Church when I served there from 1974-84. And he was a faithful servant in every way: faithful in attendance and faithful to serve (led singing, taught SS and Bible study groups, help with any kind of physical work around the church, etc.). Ralph was a banker. He loaned me money several times and even co-signed the loan. HOW’S THAT FOR FRIENDSHIP? And he’s still a good friend. (by the way, I paid back all my loans!)
This spring I drove to Iberia, MO, to visit with Ralph. I stayed overnight with Ralph and did we ever have a good time visiting, sharing old stories, etc.! Isn’t it wonderful to have a staying friend like that?
Col. 4:9 “He (Tychicus) is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here.”
Col. 4:10 “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas.”
4:11 “Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings. These are the only Jews among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have proved a comfort to me.”
Onesimus, Aristarchus, Mark, and Justus were all staying friends. Faithful friends.
4:14 “Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.”
Dr. Luke was Paul’s friend. Do you have a good doctor? How about a good doctor who is also a friend?
ILL.- We had a Dr. who attended the church in Anna, IL. His name was Dr. David Busby. He’s a psychiatrist but once did surgery. I complained to him one time about some ailment I was having and he said, “Welcome to the world of aging.” SOME FRIEND, HUH?
The nice thing about Dr. David Busby is that he is a Christian. He came to our church in Anna, IL, as a result of reading my sermon notes that I put in the local newspaper. WHAT A COMPLIMENT!
And he was very supportive of my ministry. As he listened to me preach he often scribbled notes and gave them to me after the service. But do know what kinds of notes? They were additions to my sermons. They would be scriptures and notes about my sermon subject. And he wasn’t being negative. He was being helpful and supportive.
Dr. Busby also played the piano for our church on Wednesday night. He couldn’t sing on tune but he could play the piano.
The first time I gave him a list of the songs that we would sing, he said, “I don’t need the list. Just call out the song and I will play it.” HUH? That’s right. He could play them by ear.
It pays great spiritual dividends to have faithful friends. Thank God for them. Ask God to bless them. As they have blessed you so you should bless them.
II. PRAYING FRIENDS
4:12 “Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.”
Epaphras was always wrestling in prayer for you. Wow! What a friend! Do you have a friend who is constantly praying for you? Struggling, wrestling in prayer for you!
One of the best things that you can do for others is to pray for them. And one of the best things that you can ask of them is prayer.
Eph. 6:18 “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”
To me, praying is in the Spirit is spiritual prayer. And the most spiritual kind of prayer that we can do is to pray for others, other than to praise the Lord in prayer.
Always keep on praying for all the saints. How so? Specifically or with a “shotgun” type prayer? I think we should pray for one another any way we can and the more specific, the better.
That is, when someone asks you to pray for them you should ask if there is something specific. And then pray for that specific matter.
ILL.- For example, a number of our people need jobs. So it’s obvious that we should pray specifically for God to open the door for jobs.
And guess what? God has already answered most of these prayers, if not all of them.
I think God is faster to answer these kinds of prayers than the prayers that are self-centered.
James 4:2-3 “You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
It should be obvious to us that if we are asking selfishly for something that we want, something to satisfy our desires, etc. then God is not going to answer that prayer.
ILL.- When I was running marathons many years ago I told one of my good Christian runner friends that I prayed about my running. He said, “God doesn’t care about your running…”
I think he misunderstood me and I tried to explain to him why I prayed about my running. I never prayed for success in running, although I did have a certain amount of success. What I prayed about in regard to my running was this: I prayed that God would be honored and that I would always be a good witness. And I didn’t think those were selfish prayers.
It is always right to honor God in whatever you do!
I Cor. 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
We need to shower our prayers on others! We need to wrestle in prayer for others! Especially, those who are struggling with problems. Are you that kind of praying friend? If so, then be sure to let your troubled friend know that you are praying for them. It’s both comforting and encouraging to know that others think enough of you to pray for you.
We all need praying friends and we all need to be praying friends to others!
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
III. STRAYING FRIENDS
Col. 4:14 “Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.”
In this verse, do you know who that straying friend was? Demas. How was he a straying kind of friend? A straying friend doesn’t sound like much of a friend, does it?
II Tim. 4:10 “For Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.”
What’s the deal with Demas? Apparently, he fell in love with this world. That is, he fell in love what the world offered, etc.
A straying friend is someone who has gone astray. They’ve strayed from you and perhaps the Lord as well. Ever have such a friend? I have.
I have known of people who stopped coming to church because they got so wrapped up in the things of this world: cars, boats, playing, pleasure, etc. The things of this world or the pleasures of this world took control of their lives to the point where they had little time for Christ and the church.
ILL.- I had a good friend in one church who got all wrapped up with truck pulling contests. Most of those contests were on weekends and out of town so he was gone a lot. And not only was he gone from me but also the church. He was straying friend. He was still a friend, but a straying friend. He also strayed from Christ.
Thank God, however, he eventually got his priorities turned around.
ILL.- I know of another guy and his wife who did similarly, only with them it was boating at a nearby lake. He had a fancy pleasure boat, a big boat. He would head to the lake on weekends and forget all about Christ and the church. He was still a friend but a straying friend. I even baptized his wife and stepdaughter, but I’m not sure they’ve ever got over their straying. God have mercy on them.
You see, I’m not against straying friends. I just want to see them come back to Christ and the church. I want to see their faith in Christ renewed and made stronger. So I pray for my straying friends.
I Pet. 2:24-25 “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”
We’ve all strayed somewhat from Christ. And hopefully, we all are in the process of returning to the Shepherd of our souls and growing in Him. Therefore, we must be patient with those stray.
Gal. 6:1-3 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”
CONCLUSION---------------------------
ILL.- A little boy asks his mother if he could go out and play with Timmie. “You know you don’t like Timmie,” his mother said.
“All right,” replied the youngster, “then can I go out and fight with him?”
Brothers and sisters, let’s never fight with another. We may occasionally disagree with one another, but because we are in Christ and He is in us, let us strive to closer than brothers and sisters. We need to be faithful, praying, staying friends.
