(Extensive inspiration for the sermons in this series derived from the sermon samples in the "Who Cares" promotional series by Outreach Ministries.)
(For this message, I had the stage set as a Living Room and compared it to our Family Room growing up - formal place vs. rec. room: Childhood & Today)
Unfortunately, the American living room is under assault. Did you know that one out of every three children in the United States spend their lives in a living room without a father present? One out of three. And now homosexual marriages, divorce, spousal abuse, violent crimes within the home; these and other alarming statistics are strong indicators that there is a very serious assault being conducted in our living rooms today.
And at the same time there is a very subtle disease within the living room that may be even more damaging than all of the other crises combined. It is the growing number of families that are what some family counselors are calling “driving while intoxicated.” These are the traditional American mom, dad and kids families that on the outside seem to have it all together, but inside the living room things are pretty rotten.
Parents are driven to almost anything in order to grab the brass ring and kid’s priorities are focused on winning at any cost. These are the families that are rotting from within because they are self-consumed, intent on sacrificing everything in order to succeed outside of the family. They are driving at a break-neck speed, out-of-control and in serious danger of crashing.
The story is told of two paddleboats that left port about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River. As they traveled side by side, the sailors began to taunt one another. Challenging words were exchanged, and finally a race began.
After a period of time, one boat began falling behind, its fuel supply nearly expended. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, there had not been enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship’s cargo and tossed it into the ovens. When the sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they began fueling their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport. They ended up winning the race, but burning all their cargo.
Max Lucado calls this a crisis of “program over priority.” Parents that have put their “program” of succeeding at any cost ahead of the precious “cargo” that God has entrusted to each of us. These are the families that seem okay on the outside, but when you to step into their living room after work, after dinner, after the blinds have been shut and the porch light has gone off. They are wasting away. The harder they strive to get to where they think they deserve to be, the more and more of their precious cargo of love, forgiveness, understanding and spiritual growth they burn to get there. They may “win” some earthly race; but getting there without their “cargo” will hardly be worth it.
So whether it is the home that has been split apart by divorce, abuse, unplanned pregnancy or addiction. Or the home that is looking fine on the outside, but “driving while intoxicated.” Almost every living room in America seems to be a complete wreck.
There was once a man driving along the road and he was involved in an accident with another car towing a horse trailer. A few months later he tried to claim damages for his injuries, but the insurance company lawyer questioned his claim.
"How can you now claim to have all these injuries?" he was asked. "According to the police report, at the time you said you were not hurt."
"Well it’s like this," said the man. "I was lying in the road in a lot of pain, and I heard someone say the horse had a broken leg. The next thing I know the police officer pulled out his gun and shot the horse. Then someone came and asked me, "Are you okay?"
There are a lot of people sitting on couches. Relaxing in easy chairs. Flicking the remote controls of this world who say they are okay, but underneath the smiles, the laughter and the “I’m doing just fine” is a huge amount of hurt and a living room in crisis.
And it is not just outside this church that people are hurting. There are families and individuals that are desperately hurting who are sitting in this building today and may even try to cover it up with a brave face. Some of us have old wounds that just won’t heal. Others of us have fresh wounds that are still raw. And most of us, a combination of both.
We are not a large church. But we still. . .
- Have single moms trying to make it work
- Have marriages that are going through rough waters – even some that have fallen apart
- There are families who have lost a child, a father or a mother and are trying to keep their heads above water in the face of a wave of grief.
- We probably even have family members trying to escape the hurt by losing themselves in alcohol, drugs, gambling or even shopping binges and just creating more problems.
- Some of us, are still stinging from harsh or cruel words that pierced our hearts
- Some are hurting because it seems that in this life we never measure up and always fall short of someone’s expectations.
- Others are tired of always being alone.
- Others are trying to find love and affection in their family, but not finding any.
So we go home at night. Sit in our living rooms. And wonder if there is even anyone who cares.
Let’s step into a Biblical living room. That of David. “King” David. From what we know, he was a brilliant and successful warrior. God’s chosen leader for that stage in history. But “Dad” David? His family life was one disaster after another. I can’t even imagine what life must have been like in that living room.
You see the environment with David’s numerous wives and concubines created a highly competitive atmosphere among all of his children. After all, there could only be one successor to the throne.
One of his sons, Absalom, ironically enough a name that means father of peace, was the third son of King David. But contrary to his name, Absalom was not a man of peace.
One sequence of troubles began when Amnon, David’s oldest son, raped his half-sister Tamar, Absalom’s sister. You can read all about that event in 2 Samuel 13, and this rape rightly angered Absalom, but he bided his time and when the opportunity arose two years later – can you imagine the living room for those two years – when the opportunity arose during the sheep shearing time at Baal Hazor, Absalom had his brother Amnon killed.
Well, logically thinking that this was the start of a general massacre of competitors to the throne, all of King David’s other sons fled for their lives back to Jerusalem. Absalom, now aware that he had everyone on the defensive, then took refuge himself with his grandpa at Geshur, northeast of The Sea Of Galilee, where he remained for three years.
You with me so far? Obviously, as a loving father, King David mourned for his dead son, Amnon, but also for the fugitive Absalom. And eventually, David permitted Absalom’s return to Jerusalem, although two more years would go by before the king agreed to even sit down in the living room and talk with him. You see, as we journey through chapter 14 of 2 Samuel, we learn that although David mourned Absalom’s absence, the king still couldn’t stand the sight of him.
Sound crazy? Ever been there? Hard to be in the same room together? On the same sofa? A family member comes in the room and sits down so you stand up and walk out.
Then Absalom made his move, not merely to succeed his father as king, but to replace his father while he was still reigning! Through scheming politics, he managed to gain the support of a large portion of the people. He moved to Hebron, the previous capital city of Judah, and declared himself king. A rather simple act that triggered a civil war between himself and, of all people, his father. All documented for us in chapter 15.
The attempted coup was successful at the beginning. So much so that David found it necessary to flee from Jerusalem to Mahanaim, across the Jordan. And in one of the darkest times of David’s life, Absalom, his own son, took over the throne in Jerusalem.
It seemed like the end for David, except for one undefeatable reality, God had already decided who would succeed David, and the choice wasn’t the vain and disloyal Absalom.
The matter was finally settled on the battlefield where Absalom and his followers proved to be no match for David, the commanders who remained loyal to him, and the will of God. Absalom lost 20,000 of his troops, and the rest were put to flight. In fact, Absalom himself, while making a hasty retreat riding a mule, got his head caught in the branches of an oak tree. Then Joab, one of David’s commanders, ran Absalom through with 3 javelins – third times a charm - and his body was thrown into a pit in the forest. The rebellion and Absalom’s life were over.
And King David, Dad David was left to sit in his living room. Pondering a rape within his family. A child led rebellion like few have ever witnessed. And two more dead sons.
Oh, David was king. Back in authority. But I have to wonder if he not only didn’t just ask, “Who cares?” but even felt like, “Who cares!”
So what can we learn today? How do we take this tragic home life, recorded for all history in God’s word, and find a way to journey through the ups and downs, the joys and crisis that enter into our living rooms?
Let me suggest a few thoughts we can find in 2 Samuel 15. First, it’s important to. . .
1. UNDERSTAND THAT THE MOST PAINFUL CRISES ARE THOSE OF A PERSONAL NATURE.
Just picture that Biblical scene for a moment, a messenger enters King David’s living room, back then referred to as the palace throne room and brings urgent news. (Read 2 Samuel 15:13)
As this messenger speaks the words stab at David’s heart like a knife. He hears that the nation of Israel has turned against him, but the worst part is the cause. Absalom, his own son is leading a rebellion to overthrow him and seize the throne. It has become clear that Absalom actually has the goal of killing David, his father, to take over the kingdom.
(Read 2 Samuel 15:14) His own son, ready to take his life. Can you imagine what a heartbreaking moment this is for David? Unless you have had a child actually threaten to kill you, with the heart, will and power to do it, you can’t. I can’t! This situation is soaked in personal turmoil and literally tears at the fabric of David’s own family. This isn’t just a national crisis. This isn’t just a crisis that is confronting the very plan of God for the nation of Israel. This is a personal crisis that has invaded David’s living room. His place of peace and rest.
You see, a life crisis can come at you through your workplace, your church, your school, your home or anywhere that you are just chugging along minding your own business. Crisis is not a respecter of persons nor is it fair when it comes. And the most painful crises are those of a personal nature.
- When it involves your family
- When others assault your character
- When others seek to inflict pain on you
(Personal Example - Child Protective Services interview while at work at a Christian bookstore.)
Understand that the most painful crises are those of a personal nature. And then fix in your mind that. . .
2. SOMETIMES WE NEED TO REGROUP BEFORE WE ACT
(Read 2 Samuel 15:15-17a)
David has only two options fight or flight. If he stands and fights the forces that Absalom has it would be likely that he would be defeated and Jerusalem pay the price of protecting him as king. If he flees and regroups his position there would be time to gain strength and face the situation on his own terms.
And don’t miss this. By fleeing the coming coup attempt David does three key things:
- Preserves the sanctity of Jerusalem – putting God’s nation ahead of himself.
- Provides for his family – again, putting others ahead of himself.
- Protects what military strength he does have – regrouping for future action
Please hear this today. There will be times in your life when you will need to regroup and pull things together. When you need to just walk away. Men especially need to know this. The manly thing to do is not always to roll-up your sleeves, clinch your fists, and bear down for a good ol’ fashioned donny brook.
There are times when we need to stop, and regroup. It allows you to:
- Get a clearer understanding of the big picture
- Get focused on the real problem at hand
- Get an opportunity to recover some strength
(Waiting 24 Hours to respond to eMails rule for me – Delayed cell phone message returns for the congregation)
There are times when quick responses are not always the best course of action. Another thing we can pick-up from this crises in David’s living room. It is important to. . .
3. REDUCE THE RISK OF INJURY TO OTHERS
Look at David as he leaves Jerusalem and speaks with one of the military leaders traveling out of the city. (Read 2 Samuel 15:19-20)
Ittai was not Jewish but rather was a foreign mercenary under the service of King David. Both Ittai and his men befriended David during his wilderness experience in Ziklag that you can read about back in 1 Samuel 30. And they returned to Israel with David. These men served as a type of honor guard for David, but they did not have to leave with him.
What David understood was, was that the agreement that he had made with Ittai and his men could no longer be met. Essentially he was a foreigner in foreign land now being exiled to who knows where. This was no situation for innocent people.
And we learn from David that even in the midst of family crises we need to do our best to keep those who are innocent out of the crisis in order to keep them safe.
Parents. This is the practical application of this truth today. Every crisis that hits your life, and your home, does not have to be a family crisis that your children are pulled into. Some crises need to remain in the privacy of the home office or master bedroom, and not be blown up in the living room in front of the children.
It is our job to protect them. To shield them to some degree. We are not talking about living “fake” lives, but we are talking about reducing the risk of injury to them. Emotional, spiritual, and maybe even physical injury.
So David tells Ittai to return to Jerusalem. To get out of harms way. To recognize that David can no longer fulfill his end of the bargain.
Now, with this next one, you are probably going to think I’m either getting crazy, or just throwing out those typical pastoral pat answers. But it is a simple truth that in times of family crisis, you need to. . .
4. TAKE TIME TO WORSHIP
Even in the midst of this dangerous situation David takes the time to worship God. (Read 2 Samuel 15:24) This is what happened. Zadok brought the Ark of the Covenant out to where David was and Abiathar offered sacrifices to God until everyone had left the city.
David was literally running for his life but that did not mean that he would not seek the presence of God, and when we take the time to worship it is literally seeking the presence of God. David placed such a value on being in God’s presence that he made sure sacrifices were offered to God. He understood something that we often forget, when a crisis comes worship needs to remain a priority in our lives.
I have said it before, I’ll say it again, and I’ll preach it until the day I die. Far too often, we allow circumstances and difficulties to come between us and our ability to worship. Crises keep us from gathering with the body of Christ, and taking our focus from our living rooms to the presence of God. Worship must be a priority in our lives because when we go through hard times, we must seek the presence of God.
The truth of the matter is that worship has become a side item in most people’s priorities. Most people will use any excuse to skip corporate worship. Excuses they would never even use to get out of work, or school. And trust me, if you cannot take time to worship God when things are going well, you will not be able to seek His presence when the waters get rough. And if you never seek God’s presence during hard times, how can you expect to gain His deliverance? Take time to worship. And that will help you. . .
5. APPROACH THE CRISIS WITH AN ATTITUDE OF FAITH
(Read 2 Samuel 15:25-29) David gives instructions to Zadok to return to Jerusalem and to take the Ark back to the temple. This is probably hard for us to relate to in 2007, but this was a bold move for David because the Ark was the empowered symbol of God’s presence. The understanding was that if you had the Ark with you, God was on your side. So when David sends the Ark back to Jerusalem it is an act of absolute trust and total faith.
Look at the words David uses, "Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the LORD’s eyes, He will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if He says, `I am not pleased with you,’ then I am ready; let Him do to me whatever seems good to Him."
Wow! David has been kicked out of his own living room, but he still understands that his entire situation is in the hands of God, and that the only way to live through the crisis is to place his complete trust in God.
Let’s just be honest with ourselves today. When a crisis comes into our lives, do we approach it with an attitude of faith or do we just get frustrated? Most of us, if we’re honest, are usually more frustrated than we are faith filled. But frustration is a by product of not looking to God for help and guidance.
Here’s another tough one for many of us. At times of crisis. . .
6. LET THE EMOTIONS COME OUT
(Read 2 Samuel 15:30) As David leaves Jerusalem, literally running for his life, the emotion of the situation comes pouring out. The power of the pain came to the point that he could no longer contain it.
Think about all the pain that David is facing:
- His own son wants him dead
- Many of his friends have turned against him
- The nation has been plunged into civil war
- He is leaving the Ark of the Covenant behind
- He is headed for an unknown future on the run
As he leaves Jerusalem, he is a man in exile. A man marked for death and a man whose followers were more foreigners than his own people. So David covered his head, walked barefoot and openly wept as he climbed the Mount of Olives.
Too often we try to hold our emotions in when we experience the difficulties of a crisis. We rely on our own strength to get us through and we put up a brave face. The reality is that there are times when the emotions simply must come out. Like David, there will be times when the tears have to flow. Whether you let yourself cry or you go out and scream your head off you need an outlet for your emotions. The longer you hold on to the pain, the more difficult it will be to let go and experience the needed release.
And did you notice? Seeing King David release his emotions paved the way for the rest of the people to do the same. His humble transparency freed others to act likewise.
Finally, and if you know me at all, you know something like this one is coming.
7. REMEMBER TO PRAY
When David climbs the Mount of Olives he takes a moment to turn to God once again and asks for God’s help. (Read 2 Samuel 15:31)
Ahithophel was one of David’s personal counselors who had been a trusted advisor. David knew how valuable Ahithophel would be to Absalom because he was both wise and a good advisor. So David needed God’s help to thwart this betrayal and the attempt to overthrow his rule in Israel.
David teaches us a valuable lesson that we sometimes seldom learn during a crisis. God can accomplish what we cannot. The same is true of our lives today, when the situation moves beyond our ability to deal with, we must give it over to God.
Prayer is one of your most valued resources during a crisis. Just as worship is a seeking of God’s presence, prayer is a seeking of God’s provision. David understood that if he was going to get through the crisis, he needed God’s provision.
Crises are a fact of life and we all have to deal with them. Your problems may not be to the extent that David had to deal with but the reality is that when you go through them, you don’t go through them alone. So this morning, I’m going to open up my living room.
Altar Call – Utilized Video of "Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day
