The Seven Deadly Sins Part 7: Lust
Introduction
This is the last message in the series “The Seven Deadly Sins” and it covers the sin of Lust. I know for some of you parents this message may embarrass you, but I am also speaking to our teenagers for they need to understand what they are dealing with. For this reason I am asking the younger children for this morning to go out with the Children’s Church because I do not want to feed their imaginations with this message.
Lust is defined as an “inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body; excessive sexual desire.” Though contemporary English uses “lust” only in a negative way, the word originally meant “craving, strong desire” and was considered morally neutral. In the New Testament the meaning of the frequently used Greek word “epithymia” means “any strong desire; pure desire; evil desire for something forbidden; and sexual passion or obsession.” Most frequently in the Bible the term has negative connotations although the Bible does not express disapproval in the natural use of sex within marriage.
Let me say this up front that the virtue that enables us to deal with our lust in our walk with the Lord is self-control. Lust represents a lack of self-control when it comes to bodily pleasures. Self-control and self-mastery prevent this pleasure from killing the soul by suffocation. Legitimate pleasures are controlled in the same way an athlete’s muscles are: achieve maximum efficiency without causing damage. Lust is the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. Sex, power or image can be used well, but they often tend to go out of control. Earlier in the series I shared with you that sin creates an inclination to sin more and this is especially true with lust. However, to be fair, there is one good thing about the sin of lust, it cannot persist into eternity. Sins of the flesh tend to burn themselves out over time. After a while, lust becomes a habit and what pleasure it brought diminishes until we wonder what the attraction was. Also keep in mind that this sin, as it relates to sex, actually kicks in overdrive when we enter puberty or decide that there is something that the opposite sex have to offer us (at least for boys). The lust starts out very innocent but if not recognized for what it is, can lead to habits that many take into their adult life. I am not saying that we should not expect our kids to mature naturally both mentally and physically. But, as parents, we should take whatever steps necessary to guide them during this time so that the influences from friends, TV and other external sources does not overshadow the sound wisdom we have learned through the years.
I want to share a very personal story with you in order for you to understand what our children are faced with, if you do not already know. When I was a young boy around the age of 9 or 10, I loved the Sears catalog. My first image of what a woman’s body looked like was found in that catalog. We did not have sex education classes in elementary school as some schools do now so I learned some things from that catalog. One of my favorite TV shows at that time was the “Love Boat” because it gave me a glimpse of what sex was like (or so I thought). It really fed my imagination. I remember once having a girlfriend when I was about 10 years old and I thought holding her hand or maybe every once in a while casually touching her leg was great. I also loved going to Church because you got to hug the cute girls and young ladies. As they developed, the hugs took on more significance. At 10-11 years old, that was as good as it got. But to compare that to what the kids see now on Bay Watch and movies like Roger Rabbit, there is no comparison. If I had those shows growing up, the Sears catalog would not have held my attention. As a matter of fact, as I grew older, the catalog lost its luster because more vivid images were available on TV, in the movies and in magazines. There was no such thing as HBO and all of the graphic displays and images of affection that we now have on regular TV. If you had a TV, you had 4 channels and they were very regulated as to what could be shown on them.
In June of 1975 when I was 14 years old I lost part of my innocence. Now before your imaginations go wild, let me finish because I need you to fully hear what I am telling you. I lost “part” of my innocence, not my virginity. This one incident changed my perception of sex and what my imagination had told me. In June 1975 I saw an X-rated movie. It totally blew my mind. I saw things that a 14-year-old should never have been exposed to. After seeing that movie, nothing on TV or at the movies ever came close to feeding my imagination. My imagination was totally destroyed, but a new lust had been born that I spent years dealing with. After seeing some of those images, I had a strong desire to do some of those things. My innocent lust that comes with puberty and curiosity blossomed into a lust based on what I saw and desired to re-enact. Now that was almost 30 years ago, yet today our kids are exposed to this daily. Today we are feeding sexual images to our kids on a platter. We sell all types of products with sexual images; the music today is cluttered with sexual messages and our TV shows would never have made it to TV back in the 60s. Another complication for us is the Internet. I have firewall software on my laptop and still I receive filthy emails that continue to sneak through. Our kids can access images that exceed what I saw in that X-rated movie. We have come a very long ways from my days of looking at the Sears catalog. With all of the images that are being placed before our kids it is not surprising that they are starting to have sex at a younger and younger age. It is not surprising that “playing house” has taken on a whole new meaning. It is not surprising that a gift that God has given to couples to enjoy upon marrying has been downgraded to an act where emotional/physical ties are a non-requirement. With all of the images that we consistently place before our eyes, it stands to reason that we would call our lust “being able to fully appreciate God’s creation”.
Although we can limit lust to sexuality, we may want to consider the larger area of sensuality. Sensuality is the craving for physical pleasures of all kinds. An inordinate desire to avoid pain, for physical and emotional comfort, the best food, the best looking car, can all be forms of lusts. Lust denies our spiritual nature and promotes the lie that “this is all there is.” We try to make a heaven on earth but instead we create a living hell. Other people become ways of satisfying our needs. They are merely objects to service us, bring us food, run our business, give us pleasure. I do not have the time to go into all of these today, but I want to mention them so that you may be aware of them. Maybe you do not lust in the general way in which we think of lust, but if you begin to look at your life in these other areas, you may be surprised by what you find.
There are two misconceptions about lust that I want to cover first.
I. Two Common Misconceptions About Lust
The first misconception is that lust does not exist between a married couple. Consider this statement made by the Catholic Church through Pius XII on Oct. 29, 1951:
“The creator himself…established that in the (generative) function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.”
In marriage, enjoyment is not the problem. Lust enters into marriage when sex is not a mutual expression of love, but rather the use of one person by another (even is the “use” is mutual). This of course breeds resentment and eventual alienation, even if the couple does not separate. I have known individuals who would see something on TV or in the movies and later attempt that with their spouse. What they were doing was “acting out” the lust created in them when they were watching the TV or movie. It was sometimes justified by the thought “at least I am with my spouse” even though in their minds they were reflecting on the person in the movie. In a marriage, the sexual fulfillment should come through mutual love, desire and appreciation between the two partners. I should want to be with my wife and she with me. When we come together physically, my thoughts are on her and her alone not someone I am “imagining” I am with. When a person is imagining they are with someone else, they are not focused on pleasing their spouse, but on their own gratification. They are acting out the lust that they have for someone else with their spouse.
Another misconception is that Christians are obsessed with Lust. While this may be true for some individuals, the Church simply applies the same rule to sex that we apply to everything else; all things must be made subject to the will of God, as revealed in Jesus Christ. There are correct times and places for many things in life “To everything there is a season” Eccl. 3:1 We simply state that sex is not an exception. Money, power, sex, reputation/honor or individualism can all become obsessions and even gods to us, but they are not evil in and of themselves.
II. What God’s Word Says About Lust
Proverbs 6:24-29 “To keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids….Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished.”
Let me say up front that this applies to both men and women. Although Solomon used the term “son” it applies to both sons and daughters. One point of interest is when you consider Solomon’s history he had personal experience with this. His mother, Beersheba, was “taken” by David. Remember David stepped out on his balcony and looked down and saw her bathing. His lust for her was so strong that he sent his servants to get her and he slept with her. If you consider the fact that he was the king and she had no choice in the matter (a person could not refuse the request of the king for fear of death) it could be said he raped her. So if you think about what Solomon was saying, his knowledge of this subject is very personal. In the 26th verse he says plainly that you cannot take fire into your bosom (someone else’s spouse) and not get burned. In other words there are definite repercussions to sleeping with someone else’s spouse. This can also be true when dating, if sex enters the picture. Sex changes the relationship forever and in a lot of cases kills it. Our first goal is to live as unto the Lord and to follow his commands although in our flesh it can be difficult at times.
Solomon wrote from his understanding of actions and their “potential” results. He knew that if a person did certain things what the potential outcomes could be. It could be said that Solomon wrote as one looking in from the outside. However, when Jesus made His statement about lust, His statement was different from Solomon. Jesus spoke as one who had inside knowledge (inside the hearts of men). Consider the following Scripture:
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Before Jesus came on the scene, it was very common, as it is now, for men to think it was okay to look as long as they do not touch. This is why Jesus made the statement, to ensure that everyone knew that God looks at the heart. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in conversations with guys when an attractive woman walks by and heads turn. Their heads would turn and they would literally undress the woman with their eyes. For those who were married I would remind them of that fact and they would almost always say “Hey as long as I don’t touch I can definitely look and admire.” This is a common response which if it was true; a lot of us would practice it daily. I wish that I could tell you that I have never looked at a woman like that, but I can’t. What I can tell you now is that for me I make a very conscious effort not to. I have had conversations with both men and women who were no longer satisfied with their spouses because they had “changed” since they’d been married. The change they were talking about was physically. Some people say it is okay to window shop as long as you do not buy. The way lust works is sooner or later window-shopping is not enough. Let me give you this example. Have you every purchased something, had it for a few years, seen a newer model and immediately became unsatisfied with the model you have. If you shop long enough, you will eventually replace what you have. Earlier I told you that the only way to deal with lust is through the virtue of self-control. You must exercise control over your lust or your lust will control you.
It is not safe to look although you have no intentions on touching. If you can admire God’s creative work without lusting after the individual, then you are okay. But if you look at someone and you find your mind wondering “what if” you need to turn your head and ask for forgiveness. Don’t fool yourself in thinking you are just admiring the clothes and not what is in them (if your eyes drop below the face). Lust can spring up in a moment’s notice and you can be caught up even if you were intending to lust after the person.
There is one more Scripture that I want to share with you. There are times when people believe that God tempts them to sin through their lusts in order to build their faith and teach them self-control. God does not tempt us with sin. Consider James 1:13-15:
James 1:13-15 “Let no one say when he is tempted, I am being tempted by God; for God cannot be tempted by evil and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.”
God cannot tempt us with sin. James spells out clearly how the sin happens and the results. First a person is enticed by his or her own lust. They see something, give thought to it and begin to imagine themselves doing it. Once the lust is conceived (the desire acknowledge) then comes the sin. We act on the desire that is within us. The ultimate result of sin is death. When this happens it is not God’s fault – the responsibility rests solely with each of us as individuals.
III. Impact of Lust on Our Lives
Lust blinds us. In dating, lust causes us to miss the warning signs in a relationship. We gloss over major obstacles to a good marriage because our physical desires are driving us. Lust is enslavement to the senses, to the animal part of man. Lust deadens our spiritual senses so we cannot hear God calling. If you are professing to be a Christian and yet are fornicating or committing adultery (these means sexual contact or pleasure, not just intercourse, outside of marriage) you are in sin. Unrepented lust is a solid barrier to growth in faith, but it does not prevent growth in pride. For some people, meditating on death and the grave may help control the sexual drives. Not out of fear, but from a simple realization that this life doesn’t last forever. The present body is corruptible; the next body is glorious. Let us keep our “eye on the prize” and not on this fleeting life in feeble flesh.
For our young people who are growing up exposed to a lot of sexual images, you must learn self-control. Do not buy into the world’s definition of the sexual relationship. It is not meant for you to try out with as many partners as possible. It is not meant to be a tool that entices you to purchase a product, dress a certain way or act a certain way. It is not meant to be a “check off the box” way of becoming popular. If you understand God’s definition of the sexual relationship, His intentions for that relationship, it will help you start down the path towards controlling the lust that can easily come up within you.
I challenge each of you to talk openly with your parents about what you are facing. If you cannot talk to them, please come and talk to me. It is important that you understand how to deal with what you are already facing or what you will be facing soon. May God bless and keep each of you is my prayer.
(One of the primary resources for this message was the “White Stone Journal” website. I used and expanded on several quotes from their articles. To them I give my thanks.)
