The Game of Exclusion
Scripture: Mark 9:38-40; Gal. 2:11-14
In Matthew the 26th and 27th chapters we see for the first time that Jesus was alone. When Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, all of His disciples deserted Him. This was the first time that He was alone, physically, since He started His ministry. Until this moment, He always had someone around Him, yet at this time all of His companions “jumped ship”. When they nailed Him to the cross and He was preparing to die for our sins, when He took on our sins, He cried out “My God, My God why have you forsaken Me?” The Greek word for forsaken is to “leave or abandon”. For the first time in His existence, Jesus could not feel the presence of His Father, He was alone. He went through this for us, so that we would never have to feel alone, abandoned or deserted by the one who loves us. However, we often do feel alone. All of us go through times when we feel alone, deserted and/or excluded. This morning I want to examine this as it relates to the Church. You see Christian folks are very adept at excluding people – even other Christians.
When I was Elementary School we learned to play a game that in my mind illustrates how Christians exclude others and make them feel alone – the game was called “Musical Chairs”. What would happen is that you would have fewer chairs out than you would people. When the music started, everyone would circle the chairs continually. When the music stopped, whoever did not have a chair, was left out or removed from the game. The goal was to always have a chair to sit in – even if it meant pushing and shoving in order to get to the chair. The winner was the person who sat in the last chair first. Throughout the game, after each round, someone was eliminated or excluded – do you follow me? This morning I want you to visualize this game, perhaps you even played it when you were a child. Remember how it felt when you were the one who was out? It was not so bad since it was just a game, but lets move forward.
The game of exclusion is learned and played at a very early age. Remember when you were in Elementary School and you would choose teams for playing a sport? There was always one child that no one wanted on their team – the last to be picked, or sometimes they were not picked at all. Exclusion. Maybe that child was you, maybe he or she were I. As we continue to grow older, we got to Jr. High School – where we could continue learning the game of Exclusion. In Jr. High School everyone talked about their boy or girlfriend except the one who did not have one. But the thought was – you were nobody if you did not have one. Ever been there? Exclusion from the conversation – no bragging rights. Finally we get to high school where our learning continues. It is time for the annual prom and you are the only one without a date. Nowadays it is okay to go to the prom without a date, but maybe during your time it was not the most popular thing to do. So again you feel excluded. Now you are an adult and what you learned as a child is still with you. On our jobs we practice the art of exclusion. Have you noticed that in the world the way people are taught to feel good about their self is by comparing himself or herself to someone who may not be as “good” as them. So on our jobs we exclude those who may not be in “our club” or “the club”. Everyone is excluded from something, so the goal becomes to work you way up the ladder to the point where you are in the “exclusive” club and everyone desires to be where you are. What is so amazing to me is that what we do in the world we bring into the Church, but what we do at church we do not always bring into the world. The way we act at home and on our jobs is often how we “eventually” act at Church. I say eventually because anyone can hide their true selves for a 1-2 hour church service, but when you have more interactions with them, the true inner self begins to come out.
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Remember how you felt when you were excluded? A lot of things go on in our minds. We ask the question “Why me?” wondering if something is wrong with us. We sit on the sidelines and watch with envying eyes as others enjoy what we would love to have or be a part of. We begin to find fault with others in an attempt to ease our own pain and suffering. Have you ever said something like “Well I really did not want to be a part of that anyway” when you were left out of something? We can also become bitter; we get so used to be alone that it becomes what we are used to and what we expect. It gets to the point that when others try to have use becomes a part of the group, we cannot function well because we have been used to being alone. I want you to think about my example of “Musical Chairs”. I want you to follow this process as to what happens so you will be able to see how easily we exclude people in our Churches:
• Setup. First you have the setup for the game – everything is in place and the rules are given. The prize for the victor is known and everyone wants it.
• Contestants. Next the contestants are selected, those who would participate in this round. The contestants all smile and greet one another, the whole time thinking how they could beat them out for a chair. They begin to see their friends as their competition. Everyone is on friendly terms until the music starts – then it’s every person for themselves.
• The Game. When the music starts, the game begins. Around the chairs everyone goes hoping to be one of the few to get a chair when the music stops. When the music stops, something strange happens, where there were friends before, now they become competitors and everyone fights for a chair. When all is said and done, one person is left without a chair – they are alone.
• The Winner. Everyone who has a chair is happy – temporarily. They all have one the first round – but eventually there is only one winner.
Think about the process of this game Musical Chairs as I tell you this story. Look at Mark 9:38-40. The Setup was a question – who had the right to perform miracles in Jesus’ name? The Contestants were the disciples, the man casting out demons and Jesus. The Game was the competition for recognition and or status of being a “follower” of Christ. Because this man was not recognized as a follower of Christ, the disciples did not want him performing miracles reserved for them. They felt they had to stop him. The Winner was the man who was casting out demons; the disciples did not get a chair. Look at what Jesus said in verse 39& 40. “Do not hinder him, for there is no one who will perform a miracle in My name and be able soon afterwards to speak evil of me. For he who is not against us if for us.” A good man was casting out demons and doing good and the disciples wanted to stop him because he was not “considered” to be a follower of Jesus. They would have rather see those people keep their demons than allow someone not “in the club” to cast them out. The game of exclusion. If they were not a recognized follower of Christ, the disciples excluded them for exercising the gifts they had received. But Jesus take on the situation was different; He included him although he was not one of the “official” disciples.
Lets look at another example. This one is found in Galatians 2:11-14. The Setup was a question of hypocrisy, can you commune (eat, drink and be merry) with Gentiles who were not circumcised even though they were already saved. The circumcised Jews believed that you had to be circumcised in order to be saved. Accepting Christ did not negate the need for circumcision. The Contestants were
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Peter, Paul, Barnabas and some other Jewish Christians. The Game was to see how the contestants would respond to the Gentiles they previously fellowshipped with when they were also in the presence of the circumcised Jews who would not associate (fellowship, eat with) Gentiles. The Winner was Paul; everyone else was left without a chair. Peter (the ringleader) had been having a good time with the Gentiles who had converted to Christianity. He was eating their foods, although there were food restrictions under Jewish customs. When the circumcised Jews arrived, Peter immediately withdrew from the Gentiles and began acting like he could not be in their presence. Barnabas and the other Jews who were with him began acting the same way. The Gentiles wondered what was going on – why had Peter and the others all of a sudden withdraw from them. Paul blasted Peter to his face in front of everybody for his hypocrisy.
I used those two examples to illustrate a point about us “Christians”. In the Church, we perfect the game of exclusion under the disguise that God approves of our actions. Think about some of the Churches you may have visited or been a member of? How many people did you actually “really” get to know? Did you feel included because of who you were or because of whom you knew? Many people go to Church where everyone knows them but yet they do not really “know” them. The loneliest place in the world can be the Church. Why? Because that is the one place where everyone should be included, from the dirtiest to the cleanest, from the saint to the sinner. We cannot bring people to Christ. You will not help people to grow spiritually by excluding them. At some point in our lives, all of us have felt excluded or alone. It happens within our homes, in school, on our jobs, our Church and even with our extended family. At some point you experience times when you feel “left out” and therefore alone.
Everyday we play a game of musical chairs, where we experience times when we feel excluded, left out and alone. Then there are times when we feel included, when we know that we have others who are around us giving us support. Sometimes we win and we sometimes we do not. It does not matter if you are married or single, young or old, all of us experience times when we are excluded and therefore alone. It happens everywhere, even in Church.
In the last 4 weeks, God has been telling us something – in preparation for us. He told us to let go of the things that we ourselves are trying to handle. Next God said that we need to be in our right minds, meaning that we begin to think and act like Christ. Last week He told us to let go of the guilt – from our past sins, from the things that bind us and the things that stop or hinder our growth in Him. This morning He is telling us to stop excluding and start including.
People will come here at different levels of their spiritual walk. Regardless of where they are, where you are, they must be made to feel included in order for us to fulfill what God has called us to do. Whatever God has placed within a person to do, they should have the freedom to exercise their gifts and be a blessing to the body. We will not get there by excluding people because their ideas do not measure up to ours, or they have a different way of doing things. We will not get there by holding people back because they do not know as much of the word as we do. We will not get there if our members do not feel that they can approach the leaders or any other member when they have a question about the Bible or their own spiritual growth. We will not get there when we isolate people because they do not give what we think they should be giving. We will not get there if we push older members to the side because they have had their day. We will not get there if we tell our kids that their expression of worship through song and praise is not traditional enough and therefore not holy. We will not get there by looking down on someone whose educational level is not the same as yours. We will not get there when the people do not believe that God will speak to them – that God only speaks to the Pastor. We will not get there if we do not include everyone in praying for this Church. New Light Baptist will not be a Church that excludes anyone seeking Christ.
I want to ask you a serious question. In your daily life, what are you willing to do in order to be included? Are you willing to hide your moral beliefs in order to fit in or are you willing to be a little lonely until the right connections are made on the job? What are you willing to do in order to be a part of the group – in order to belong. What is it worth to you? We talk about the feelings of being lonely, be separated, excluded, but what is it worth to you to become popular, part of the “in” crowd. To get that promotion and office with the corner view – what is it worth to you? What are you willing to do?
In this Church, what are you willing to do in order to be included and include others. Right now we are small and intimate, but what are you willing to do to include others as we begin to grow. How can you help with the spiritual growth of someone else? What are you willing to do to make a stranger feel included in this Church? What can we do to make our visitors feel included in this Church? The whole concept of “visitor” means you are not really a part of the circle. How can we as a body make or “visitors” feel included, even if it is for just that 1-2 hour that they are with us.
I will close by sharing with you a dream that I had this week. I was in my office preparing to come out and preach the morning message. Yes we had a building and everything. When I was getting ready to come out, I realized that I had left my sermon at home. I came out of the office to find Nikki and tell her that I had left my sermon at home. I found her near the pulpit and she told me to go home and get it, that they could handle the service until I returned. I asked her where Rev. Fulks was and she said she did not know. I turned and asked Dea. Fulks where she was and he pointed to the choir stand. There were three other associate ministers in my pulpit at this time, but I called Rev. Fulks out of the choir and told her to come to the pulpit because she could not do two jobs. Then I proceeded to leave and I heard God’s voice say “Be Prepared” and I sensed in my spirit that I needed to get ready for “something”. But I heard it clearly – “Be Prepared”. Then I woke up. But the dream stayed with me all day on Thursday. The kids had choir practice Thursday evening. When I walked down stairs to where they were Rev. Fulks and Sis. Kim was directing. Later Rev. Fulks came upstairs and said that Sis. Kim would be directing on Sunday – her first time. Immediately I was reminded of the dream and Cynthia’s part – that she could not do two jobs. What am I saying to you New Light – we need to be prepared for what God is going to do in our lives individually and in our Church. Get ready and be prepared Church – we will not always be this small. But I believe that the love we all share can continue and engulf others regardless of how big we get, if we are willing to include. Be Prepared.
