Why Are We Losing Our Young People? (NIV)
On April 20, 1999 in the small town of Littleton Colorado, two high school students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold enacted and all out assault on Columbine High School.
The boys plan was to kill hundreds of their peers using guns, knives, and homemade explosives. They walked the halls and classrooms killing at will. When the day was done, 12 students, 1 teacher, and both Eric and Dylan were dead. The questions still remain today as to why they did it. Since then we have seen the Virginia Tech shootings, the schoolyard shootings in NY and other tragedies involving young people and violence.
The answer as to why in all these cases is simple. These people were lost. They felt unloved and unwanted.
This brings us to our topic today
As parents and as a church why are we loosing our young people?
As Children grow older, they often
-Lose interest in spiritual matters
-Pull away and become distant
-start missing church then quit going all together
-start dating, get engaged, or marry a non-Christian person
-involved in drugs, alcohol, other temptations.
Ultimately when these things happen we will lose them to the world.
As a church and as parents, we have a responsibility to our young people.
Proverbs 22:6
It is the duty of both the church and parents to train children. We are partners in the training. Parents cant expect the church to train kids for them. If what the church teaches is not seen in the home we can lose our youth also.
Proverbs 22:6 is the general principle to live by when it comes to youth.
There are many reasons why we can lose our youth.
Understanding why may help prevent losing more.
There are several factors that bring about this situation and process of losing our youth.
I. Bad influence of their friends.
Friends often have the most influence on youth because that is who they spend most of their time with. There are warning signs that a friend may be a bad influence.
Proverbs 1:10-19
PR 1:10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.
PR 1:11 If they say, "Come along with us;
let’s lie in wait for someone’s blood,
let’s waylay some harmless soul;
PR 1:12 let’s swallow them alive, like the grave,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
PR 1:13 we will get all sorts of valuable things
and fill our houses with plunder;
PR 1:14 throw in your lot with us,
and we will share a common purse"--
PR 1:15 my son, do not go along with them,
do not set foot on their paths;
PR 1:16 for their feet rush into sin,
they are swift to shed blood.
PR 1:17 How useless to spread a net
in full view of all the birds!
PR 1:18 These men lie in wait for their own blood;
they waylay only themselves!
PR 1:19 Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain;
it takes away the lives of those who get it.
This shows how the bad influence of a friend can lead down a path to destruction.
Even a good Christian can be lead astray by the wrong friendships.
Proverbs 12:26
PR 12:26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 22:24
PR 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, PR 22:25 or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
Even the Apostle Paul recognized how friends could mislead us.
1 Corinthians 15:33
1CO 15:33 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
These warnings tell us 3 things
The Power of Friendship
We may or may not see it
Where it could lead
How does it happen?
1 Gradual drift
Hebrews 2:1
HEB 2:1 We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.
2 They get desensitized to sin
Psalm 1:1
PS 1:1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
3 Pressures mount when out numbered
Exodus 23:2,33
EX 23:2 "Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.....33 Do not let them live in your land, or they will cause you to sin against me, because the worship of their gods will certainly be a snare to you."
God didn’t want the Hebrews to fall victim to the influence of all the other religions and cultures and the world they would encounter in the Promise Land.
Romans 12:2
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
4 Easy to become like them
Proverbs 23:20
PR 23:20 Do not join those who drink too much wine
or gorge themselves on meat,PR 23:21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor,
and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
If anyone has ever hung around with a crowd like that, you know sooner or later bad things happen.
2 Poor example of parents
A. Young people learn from what they see!
1 The General Principle
Matthew 5:14-16
MT 5:14 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
It is the duty of parents to set a good example for their kids.
Some parents use the excuse that they are young or first time parents and they are not sure what to do. Even if you are young you can still set an example. Follow Gods guidance.
1 Timothy 4:12
12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
2 Like it or not children will become like their parents
Proverbs 20:7
PR 20:7 The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
Ezekiel 16:44
EZE 16:44 " `Everyone who quotes proverbs will quote this proverb about you: "Like mother, like daughter."
Children will invariably talk, eat, walk, think, respond, and act like their parents. Give them a target to shoot at. Give them a goal to work toward. Give them a pattern which they can see clearly, and you give them something that gold and silver cannot buy.
--Billy Graham, The Hour of Decision, 1958
3 As parents your actions will speak louder than words
Don’t just tell your kids you love them, show them! Let them see you practicing the same Christian values you are trying to teach them.
B What do children often see in their parents?
1 Don’t go to church on Sunday at all
2 Don’t study the Bible
3 Miss Church a lot/make excuses for not going(tired, busy, weather)
4 Miss family events a lot for work (work can replace you, family cant)
5 Emphasis on material over spiritual
6 Emphasis on work over spiritual
7 Worldliness (how much stuff can I get, Big house, fancy cars)
Don’t be surprised when they turn out just like you trained them to be!
3 Weak Image Of The Church
From the time children are old enough to pay attention/understand to what goes on at church (say 10 years old) They form an image of the church and Christianity until they are 20. thats a 10 year period. What image is formed?
A. A strong and impressive is powerful
What do they need to learn and see from the church and its members?
1 We need to help them learn to understand the Bible and how to apply it to their lives.
One of the church’s main duties is the equipping of the Saints. If we don’t teach them to understand the Bible who will?
2 They need to see it in action in others around them
3 They need to see the conviction and strength of the Church and its members
They need to be able to look at people and see role models and people who are pillars of the community.
4 They need to know that sin is not tolerated
Too many churches will excuse it and think they will grow out of it. This only sends a message that its ok to sin without teaching them that it has consequences.
5 They need to see people who love and respect each other.
B Unfortunately, young people often see this image of the Church
1 Preaching weak, hard to follow, outdated
Preachers who preach one thing, say/do another. Not well respected in community.
(running into pastor at a bar)
Sermons not well thought out or organized or uninteresting sermons that youth cant relate to.
2 Teaching in classes irrelevant
Cant understand how this applies to them or how to use it. Teacher doesn’t give them any life application tips.
3 Hypocrisy in members and leaders
Biggest problem for some church’s to overcome. The church has no leg to stand on.
4 Hear grumbling about one another
Doesn’t show much for love and understanding
5 Outdated Worship/Ministry
Old fashioned hymns. Resistant to contemporary music. The message doesn’t change but the method of delivery can.
(Jesus “cast nets over other side)
Ministry-some church’s have no youth ministry or activities and wonder why youth would rather be at the mall than at church.
What kind of image do you think this gives the kids? (“we don’t care about you, your not important to us”)
4 Lax standards at home
Now is when some of you will start to feel uncomfortable but remember, we are talking about our children today. They are our most precious gift from God. If part of the problem of losing them lies with us the duty to correct it also lies with us.
A Training Young People Requires High Standards
Ephesians 6:1-4
EPH 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."EPH 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
We have already looked at Proverbs 22:6
Deut 4:9,10
DT 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”
As parents you have life experience that you need to pass on to your children. Don’t be afraid to admit them/tell them the mistakes that you have made in your life. You don’t want them to make the some ones do you?
B Common Lax Standards
1 Little corrective discipline in younger years
Proverbs 22:15
PR 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 19:18
PR 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
“Folly”-Foolishness. Your kids are gonna get in trouble and do stupid stuff. The worst thing you can do is not punish them. Too many parents want to be their kids “friend”. Your kids have plenty of friends, they only have 1 set of parents and sometimes only one.
2 Parents careless in watching what kids wear, music they listen to, movies and TV, where they are going and who they are going with.
If you are not watching these things you don’t know exactly what values and ethics are being fed into your children. Have you met their friends? Do you you trust them?
The opposite of being too strict should be avoided also.
(Damon C. ILLUS)
Parents must allow children freedom to learn and express themselves as long as it in a acceptable manner.
3 Parents giving little encouragement to read the Bible.
4 Little communication to bond
Proverbs 29:15
PR 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Spend time talking to your kids. (ILLUS-little girl with drawing at Mcdonalds, Dad on Cell Phone)
Which leads me to our next point
5 Little time as Family
As parents, we have a responsibility to teach and train our children. This takes times
A. Cant fulfill some responsibilities without time.
1 takes time to be an example
2 takes time to teach them
3 takes time to help them through problems
4 takes time to understand them
5 Takes time to communicate with them
6 takes time to build a relationship that lasts
7 takes time to show them you love them!
B. Redeeming Time
Ephesians 5:15,16
EPH 5:15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity...
Make wise use of the time you spend with your kids. Before you know it they will be gone and you will be left saying “I wish I would’ve....”
It’s sad that when some children grow up that they have no time for their parents because their parents never had time for them. (maybe play video for “American Dreams” by Casting Crowns)
In this day and age families are another too busy to eat together, to talk to each other about their day, go somewhere as a family or do something together as a family, and parents are too busy to spend time helping teens with a problem.
If parents don’t take time to help their kids or make them feel important, they are gonna look in other places for love and acceptance.
Which brings me to our next point
6 The Pull of The World
Even though this point is last, I think it is the number one reason we are losing our youth.
In the church we often judge our youth unfairly. The way they look(long hair, tattoos, earrings). The music they listen to(Christian Rock/Metal, Hip-Hop).
So what if they have long hair. It doesn’t mean that God loves them any less.
Teens often find more exceptance in the world than in the Church. No wonder they are more drawn to it.
1 Technology
Computer Software, IPOD’s, Games
The Christian world is behind in what it has to offer youth in this area. There aren’t a lot of resources that appeal to youth. If they cant download it, or look at it on a Computer, or think it’s cool they are not gonna want it.
The market is catching up. (Lifeway Stores, Software, Music Websites)
Some areas it is not. Anybody ever seen a Christian themed game for Playstation or X-Box?
2 The Internet
The Internet gives teens access to a lot of stuff they shouldn’t have access to
Pornography-big temptation
Chat Rooms-often solicited by online sex predators
My Space-a good place to communicate with other friends and other Christians but often a lot of adult/sexual content
False Religions/Cults-through the Internet kids have access to a lot of information about other religions that could lead them astray or confuse their beliefs.
Since pornography is the most dangerous temptation let;s look at some information on that.
90% of Internet traffic is to porn sites
89% of pornography is created in the US
$2.84 billion was generated from Internet porn sites in 2006
$89 a second is spent on porn sites
72% of porn viewers are male
260 new porn sites go online each day
If you do a Google search you get the following results
“Pornography” 22,900,000 sites
“Sex” 439,000,000
“Jesus” 145,000,000
At least Jesus scored higher than pornography but not as high as sex.
I think these stats are pretty scary when it comes to the temptations that the world has to offer our youth.
So you may ask your self “How do we win them back”?
How do we take them from this(disgusted teen slide) back to this(worshiping child slide)?
How do we win them back?
Be more influential than the world
Set a good example for them both parentally and spiritually
Get them involved in a good church that cares about them and provides activities for them.
Follow biblical standards as we discussed in
Ephesians 6:1-4
Proverbs 22:6
Deut. 4:9,10
Spend quality/ quantity time together as a family
What happens if we don’t?
A number of problems can occur if we don’t win them back before it’s too late
Alcohol Abuse
Drug Abuse/Addiction
Trouble with the Law
Teen Pregnancy
Trouble with pornography
They might even meet a tragic end
Ultimately I think this next image says it all of what will happen if we don’t win them back. (Jesus Wept Photo)
If we don’t win them back, the one who loves them the most is going to have to watch as they continue down the path leading away from him.
(Please E-mail me for Power Point slides for this sermon if you wish to present it)
