GOD’S ANSWER TO ANGER
The story is told of a man and woman who had been married for over 60 years. They had shared everything except there was one secret in their marriage. The wife had a shoe box in the top of her closet, and she had cautioned her husband never to open it and never to ask about it. He never did. But one day his wife got sick. It was determined that she would not recover. As they began to sort out her affairs, the husband took down the shoe box and took it to his wife. They agreed that it was time that she should explain the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He lovingly asked her about the contents. She responded by saying “Just before we got married, my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was never to argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll. The husband was moved to tears, as he looked at the two dolls lying in the box. Only twice in all those years had his darling wife been angry with him. He said, “But what about all this money? How did you manage to save all of this money?” “Oh” she
answered, “that is the money I made from selling the dolls.”
Question: How much money would you have if you were paid every time that you have gotten angry? We all get angry and contrary to what some believe anger is not a sin. Anger is a God given emotion that can either serve you well or get you in a lot of trouble depending on how it is handled. We are told 375 times in the scripture that God got angry. From Moses to Nehemiah, from Ezra to Jesus, we are constantly told about times of anger in individual’s lives. The real issue is what you do when you get angry? How do you deal with it? Does your anger result in sinful or God honoring behavior?
Negative/sinful anger is expressed in a number of ways. There are Maniacs who tend to explode, yell, scream and act like raging lunatics. If you have ever seen one get mad and make a fool out of themselves, this is the guy. There are Mutes who simply turn in and silently do a slow burn. This is the crock pot version of anger where one steams and stews while denying that he is even angry. Of course everyone else knows. There are Martyrs who are professionals at throwing pity parties. They feel sorry for themselves and blame others for things gone wrong. The older brother (found in Luke 15) fits this profile quite well. There are the Manipulators. This is the Lee Iacocca version of anger whose attitude was “I don’t get mad, I get even.” The Pharisees in Jesus day, who in frustration turned on Jesus gives us a good picture of this group.
Rather than turn our attention to the consequences of misplaced anger: jobs lost, friendships ruined, spirituality destroyed, health, vitality, and joy taken away; let’s turn our attention to God’s answer when it comes to dealing with anger. And deal with it we must, for as one writer has aptly said: “Unrighteous anger is an acid that destroys its container.” Consider the following principles in dealing with your anger.
Principle #1: Sudden Anger is to be Controlled
It is a fact that people who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing. Solomon had much to say about this thing called sudden anger. “A quick tempered man does foolish things” (Proverbs 14:17). “A hot tempered man stirs up dissension” (15:18). “A quick tempered man displays folly” (14:29). “A fool gives full vent to his anger” (29:11). John Hunter suffered with a serious heart condition for years. He displayed wisdom when he acknowledged that his life was at the mercy of anyone who could make him angry. So he guarded against that very thing. Whether the loss of one’s health, friends or dignity, Solomon said it best when he stated “a hot tempered man must pay the penalty” (19:19). Even when it is obvious to others, it is hard to admit that one has acted foolishly in anger. Though as one writer put it, “Denying one’s anger is like putting a burning trash can in a closet and closing the door, damage and disaster will follow.” Before there is a crisis caused by your rage, allow reason to prevail. Before reacting in anger, consider the acronym FORD, and ask the following questions: How do I feel? (I feel angry!) What are my options? (I don’t have to do what I feel like doing. There are other options.) What is the right thing to do? (I will let God’s Spirit guide me with this one.) What will I do? (God made me a free moral agent with the ability to choose what I will do. I will do the right thing. I will do the God honoring thing.) Sudden anger needs to be controlled, and will be if you will but stop, think, and allow God to rule in the situation.
Principle #2: Sinful Anger is to be Condemned
When it comes to what we do with our anger we are far too easy on ourselves. We make excuses for our harsh temperaments and want others to overlook our sinful attitudes and actions. We need to call it what it is. It isn’t just a weakness, it is wickedness. It isn’t a minor flaw, it is a moral failure. And for those who excuse their sinful anger by saying “It just runs in my family.” Well you need to open your eyes and see that you are of your father the devil. It isn’t heredity. It is a godless habit. It is horrible and hurtful. It may result in your being lost and destroying your Christian influence with others. If you are wondering how that you can know if your anger is sinful then you might want to honestly answer the following questions: (1) Do I have the right to be angry? (2) Is my anger directed at an individual or an injustice? (3) Do I have a desire for revenge? (4) Is my anger something I cherish and hold on to? (5) Do I have an unforgiving spirit? (6) Is the way in which I am handling this anger bringing honor to God? Honestly answering these questions will give you a pretty firm handle on just how sinful you are in your anger.
Principle #3: Stubborn Anger is to be Conquered
Proverbs 19:11 tells us that one of the most glorious things that we can do is to overlook an offense. Ephesians 4:26 explains that when anger is an issue we must deal with it quickly. The reason is borne out of the verses that follow. It is revealed where stubbornness and the anger that we sometimes hold on to will take us. Anger will give the devil a foothold (vs. 27), lead to unwholesome talk (vs. 29), digress into bitterness, rage, brawling, slander, malice and an unkind unforgiving spirit (vs. 31-32). In Proverbs 16:32 we learn that the one that controls his temper is greater than a warrior that conquers a city. It can be done. We must recognize the sin that is there, repent of your failures, and renounce Satan. You allowed him in, now put him out. Rely on God. I John 4:4 tells us that “greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” Through godly choices, relying on God’s power, conquer the control that anger has on you.
Principle #4: Sanctified Anger is to be Channeled
It isn’t always a sin to be angry. In fact, sometimes it is a sin not to be. One of the best indicators of your character is what makes you angry. Jesus was without sin, but He wasn’t without anger. If I am going to be like Jesus I need to know what made Him angry. It was never an issue of what was done to Him. What angered Jesus was insensitivity to the hurts and needs of other people. When directed toward injustices, anger is an expression of love. Godly anger is anger at the right time, with the right spirit, directed at the right target. Just as godless anger results in godless actions, Godly anger results in Godly actions. It is a matter of the direction in which it is aimed.
From the old show of Amos and Andy episodes, Andy comes walking along with a huge bulge in his coat. When Amos asked about the bulge Andy explained that there was a guy who every time that he passed him thumped him on the chest. His solution: “So what I did was strap this here stick of dynamite on my chest. The next time that he thumps me, it is going to blow his hand off.” Obviously what Andy did not realize was that blowing the fellow’s hand off would also result in blowing his own heart out. That is exactly what anger does. Sure we hurt another, but more importantly we destroy our hearts. Does your anger need to be controlled, condemned, conquered or channeled? Is it possible that your heavenly Father is concerned with how that you handle your anger?
