Title: Are Your Priorities Out-of-Whack?
Text: Luke 10:38-42
Thesis: When we focus on listening to Jesus, our priorities will be in proper order.
Introduction
I don’t know if this is a true story or not, but I suspect it is true, in that it was printed in a book by Steve Farrar titled, Standing Tall: How a Man Can Protect His Family.
Dr. Robert Shuller was on a whirlwind book promotion tour in which he was visiting eight cities in four days. He was keeping an exhausting schedule in addition to maintaining his duties as pastor of what we now know as The Crystal Cathedral. As he was going over his itinerary, his secretary reminded him that when they returned home, he was scheduled to have lunch with the winner of a charity raffle in which someone had paid $500 dollars for the privilege of sharing that lunch with the Dr.. He was quite pleased that his presence was so highly valued, until he learned that it was his own daughter who had paid $500 for his “undivided” attention.
Sometimes our priorities are out-of-whack.
In our story today, it was Martha’s sense of duty that was out-of-whack.
I. Duty is a good thing. We like duty.
Martha welcomed them into her home… and worried over the big dinner she was preparing. Luke 10:38 and 40
What do we know about Martha?
• Martha had two siblings, Mary and Lazarus. (John 11)
• Martha was loved by Jesus. (John 11)
• Martha prepared and served a dinner in Jesus’ honor shortly before his death. (John 12)
• Martha owned her own home. (Luke 10:38)
• Martha was a lavish host. (Luke 10:40)
I don’t know if you are a proponent of the birth order theory or not… but, Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung was one of the first to argue that birth order leaves an indelible impression on an individual. He believed that children have distinct personality traits that are directly related to their order of birth in a family.
Martha was the oldest of three children… Firstborns are typically believed to be serious, conscientious, directive, goal-oriented, aggressive, rule-conscious, exacting, conservative, organized, RESPONSIBLE, jealous, fearful, high achieving, competitive, high in self-esteeem, and anxious. They may learn the concept of power at a young age, and this can be expressed in their desire to help, protect and lead others. (Wikipedia on Birth Order)
• Martha was very responsible! Martha was duty-bound! Martha was the conscientious one! She was so responsible that she was distracted from everything else.
To be distracted is to be drawn away or dragged away…
Sometimes you hear a person who is so absorbed in an activity or event or relationship that they may say, “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.” The image of something or someone being drug away is what comes to mind when we reflect on this story. The elaborate preparations for dinner got hold of Martha and drug her away from her guests.
We love the Marthas and their male counterparts. They are the doers without whom nothing would get done in our homes, in the marketplace, in church, or wherever.
In our story we have a second sister whose name is Mary. And, in our story we readily juxtapose Martha and Mary. We place them side by side and we compare and/or contrast them. The opposite of Martha, is Mary.
Mary is known and admired as a devoted follower of Jesus Christ.
II. Devotion is also a good thing… we admire devotion.
Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. Luke 10:39
What do we know about Mary?
• Mary had two siblings… a sister, Martha and a brother, Lazarus. (John 11)
• Mary was also loved by Jesus. (John 11)
• Mary likely lived with her sister and brother in Bethany…
• Mary was very expressive in her devotion to Jesus having poured a 12 ounce bottle of expensive perfume over Jesus’ feet during the afore mentioned dinner Martha served the week before his trial and crucifixion. (John 12)
• Mary sat at the feet of Jesus as a disciple sits before his or her teacher. (Luke 10:39) She did not sit at his side, which would have been a seat of honor, but she sat at his feet, a seat of humility… she took the seat of the learner.
• Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, basking in his presence and feasting on his every word. She listened…
While on vacation last week (Monday, July 9, 2007), I watched
the Baseball All-Star Homerun Derby held at A T & T Stadium, home of the San Francisco Giants, with our grandson, Zach. Our own Matt Holiday of the Colorado Rockies, hit 13 homeruns, but was bested by the California Angels’, Vladimir Guerrero who hit 17 homeruns.
Each time we saw the pitch and heard the crack of the bat, our eyes followed as the camera tracked the trajectory of the ball as it sailed… in some cases literally out of the park, over the wall and into McCovey Cove where kayakers and boaters waited to shag a homerun ball out of the water.
Every eye in that stadium of over 41,000 people and millions of viewers in the television audience, was on the homerun ball…
That’s the image we have of Mary as she sat at the feet of Jesus. She was totally attentive, virtually undistracted by anything other than the words of Jesus.
In that the second or middle child is often the mediator in the family and the one who tries to be most helpful in keeping everyone happy, it is likely that Mary was the youngest of the three children… The characteristics assigned to the youngest child are revealing: the youngest child of the family is viewed as the party animal, the entertainer who is unafraid to test his or her luck. They are also thought of as the baby of the family and an outgoing charmer. While this is certainly not true of all youngest siblings, proponents of this theory state that the youngest of the family is an endearing, and delightful friend.
The youngest child is often babied or "pampered" more than the other siblings. This "pampering," according to Adler, is one of the worst behaviors a parent can bestow on a child. "Pampering" can lead to dependence, and selfishness as well as IRRESPONOSIBILITY when the youngest enters adulthood. (Wikipedia on Birth Order)
• Mary was the social butterfly. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. Mary was perceived as irresponsible!
But, we admire the contemplative Mary’s and their male counterparts… they just aren’t all that “useful.”
Our story hinges on responsible Martha’s reaction to her sister Mary, whom she perceives to be irresponsible. She perceives Mary as a shirker.
III. Duty perceives devotion as the shirking of duty.
Martha came to Jesus and said, “Doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” Luke 10:40
There has to be more to this story than the obvious… I would guess that at some point Mary was also sitting at the feet of Jesus. A good host or hostess does not neglect his or her guests. She undoubtedly was a devoted follower of Jesus Christ as well. She probably enjoyed sitting in the living room, chatting with her guest and listening to his thoughts. But, she was also listening for the oven timer to tell here when to get the roast out of the oven. She probably sat, but not for long… because “dinner does not prepare itself.”
I would guess that she got up to finish preparing the dinner while Mary remained in the living room with their guests. I imagine Martha was more subtle in her attempts to get Mary’s attention at the onset. I would guess that she slammed a few cupboard doors and rattled some dishes. I imagine she walked through the room attempting to get Mary’s attention… perhaps she rolled her eyes and used head gestures to get her sister off her seat and onto her feet. But, nothing worked! Martha was exasperated and she blew…
In our story we see Martha marching into the living room. There are probably a dozen or more people there… shirker Mary among them. And, rather than simply saying, “Mary, would you come and give me a hand,” she spoke to Jesus and asked, “Don’t you care,” or “doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
We call what Martha did, triangulation.
Triangulation is a mathematical method of determining the position of a fixed point from the angles to it from two fixed points a known distance apart.
However, triangulation in interpersonal relationships happens when two people in conflict, rather than resolving their disagreement, involve or entangle a third person in an attempt to avoid or diffuse their conflict.
In families when a child does not get what he wants from one parent, may go to the other parent hoping that that parent will over-rule or exert sufficient pressure on the other parent to get them to change their mind.
It happens when one child is unhappy with a sibling and runs to the parent complaining, “Mommy, Jimmy hit me…”
In church when a person is unhappy with another person or a decision made by another person, he or she goes to the pastor or the church chairman in an attempt to get them to straighten out the other person… rather than attempt to resolve the difference face to face.
Martha put Jesus in a very uncomfortable position…
• Would Jesus place value on the worker or the worshiper?
• Would Jesus honor the busy or the blessed?
• Would Jesus place value on the practical-minded person or the contemplative person.?
• Would Jesus support Martha and shame Mary? Or…
• Would Jesus support Mary and shame Martha?
Martha was asking Jesus to take sides.
However, triangulation is not always a bad thing… it is often the voice of reason… it is the diplomat or the mediator who brings opposing sides to the table in order to resolve their conflict.
The Thursday, July 19, 2007 edition of the Denver Post printed an op-ed suggesting that the one thing we have not done in Iraq is bring in a heavy-duty peacemaker. Someone who could arbitrate a government serving the various factions, the dispute over the distribution of oil profits among the factions, or even the partitioning of the country between the factions with UN support to redraw and defend the lines.
Martha obviously thought this was about keeping Mary in line… about putting Mary in her place.
So, Jesus, placed in the role of mediator answered saying, “Martha, Martha…”
IV. Devotion is perceived by Jesus, as a precious discovery.
Jesus said, “My dear Martha, you are so upset over these details! There is really one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and I won’t take it away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
It is important that we note that Jesus was not condemning Martha. Jesus was not denigrating Martha. Jesus knew he was the recipient of the gracious hospitality of a conscientious and responsible hostess. Jesus would sit down at a deliciously prepared meal at Martha’s table on more than one occasion.
In the story there is reference made to Martha being “worried over the big dinner she was preparing” in verse 40. And in verse 41 Jesus acknowledges, “Martha, you are so upset over all these details.”
The words worried or anxious and upset hint that Jesus perceived that there was a storm going on inside Martha. She was in tulmult. Martha was in an uproar over Mary not helping with dinner. But, the issue here is not responsibility and irresponsibility or duty and devotion. The lesson here is about being so consumed by duty and details that you miss what is most important.
The issue here is also recognizing the differences in the way people are wired and accepting that without judging or condemning others…. Martha brought her gift to Jesus and it was the gift of preparing a delicious meal. Mary brought her gift to Jesus and it was the gift of a different kind of attentiveness… listening.
I remember a conversation I had with my mother, probably thirty-five years ago. She was telling me about a young woman in their church. She said, “The women are in the kitchen preparing and serving lunch and she just flits about talking to everyone… she’s like a butterfly floating from person to person. Everyone loves her and she makes the new people in our church feel so welcome.”
My mother got it… she valued her own service in the kitchen and she valued the other woman’s gift of graciousness as well. Both are good and both are necessary.
But it is the Marthas and their male counterparts who must be reminded that one can be a devoted doer… but devoted doers can become so wrapped up in doing, that they have no time to sit and listen to Jesus.
Martha apparently learned from this situation because when we read the later account of the dinner she hosted to honor Jesus in John 12, there is no mention of animosity. The story line reads, “A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus sat at the table with him. Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume and anointed the feet of Jesus with it and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with fragrance.” (John 12:2-3) The John 12 scene in which we see each family member bringing his and gift to Jesus.
Conclusion:
Adrian Dielman told of an ancient Scottish legend in which a poor boy who was tending some sheep on a mountain side, saw at his feet a beautiful flower. It was so beautiful that he could not resist picking it… and as he did so he heard a sound. Looking up he saw the mountain before him open up, revealing a cavern filled with precious gems and metals. He walked into the cavern, laid down the flower and began to gather all the gold, silver, and precious gems he could carry. When he could carry no more he heard a voice as he turned to leave. It said, “Don’t forget the best.” So he turned again and gathered even more stuff into his arms. As he left the cavern the mountainside closed up behind him, all that he carried turned to dust, and the voice said, “You forgot the best. For the flower is the key to the vault of the mountain.” (Rev. Adrian Dielman, Pastor of Trinity Christian Reformed Church, Visalia, CA, “Hosts and Guests”, July 8, 2001)
Our story today reminds us, that in every arena of life and especially that of our spiritual lives… things can get out-of-whack, so… “Don’t forget the best!”
