(This message extensively based on the sermon starters provided in the "Who Cares" package materials from Outreach.)
Launched teaching time with Kenny Chesney Video - There Goes My Life.
Kenny Chesney Video – 20 years in 5 minutes & a happy ending
Unfortunately, that is not always the case for an unplanned pregnancy. Especially, a teen-age unplanned pregnancy. Listen to these startling statistics –
- Over eight hundred thousand teens become pregnant each year.
- One out of every 10 women aged 15-19 become pregnant each year.
- One out of every three women get pregnant at least once before the age of 20.
- 78% of those, or almost 8 out of ten, are unplanned.
- 13% of all U.S. births are to teens.
- 25% of teen moms have another child within two years of their first.
- Nearly 40% of teen pregnancies end in abortion.
That’s just teen pregnancies. Of course, that does not cover the entire gamut of unplanned pregnancies. There are older single women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. There are women of all ages and married that find themselves pregnant without ever having planned on the life changes that are about to occur.
Fortunately, whether teen or not, you don’t have to know the Bible all that well, or be all that familiar with the stories found within it to know that teenage, unplanned pregnancies are not a new thing created by this generation.
Turn in your Bibles to the book of Luke. Luke chapter one. The first chapter describing the life of Jesus as described by, of all things, a doctor. And look at how it all begins. Luke 1:26 (read through verse 38).
Now, I know in a crowd of loving, Godly, educated people like yourself, the following thought would never cross your mind. But there are places where in the congregation’s minds at about this point, someone would be thinking, “Whoa! Now you just hold on a second there pastor. Surely, you are not equating the virgin Mary. The mother of Christ. This woman, blessed by God. To some 16 year old who can’t control her earthly urges. Surely you are not going to attempt and utilize this sacred story as a backdrop of comparison to hedonistic young people in today’s society who just can’t seem to own up to the consequences of their behavior.”
Well, I’m glad no one in this group would ever think anything like that, because that is exactly what I am about to do. But before I do it, I want to make a point that not only addresses that type of a mindset or attitude, but also addresses countless other mindsets and attitudes that people encounter in the church as they face many of the struggles in life we are going to be looking at over the next few months.
Here it is. This is the trap we can fall into when we encounter someone facing an unplanned pregnancy, or an addiction, or an overwhelming financial debt. We can fall into the trap of asking the big question. The big, bad, guilt filled, shame ridden question. This is what happens. We encounter the crisis experiencing person face-to-face, in this case with the reality of a baby growing and developing inside of them, and we look them in the eye, and we ask, “What happened?”
And you know what? With the possible exception of Allie or some other very young person in this room, we all know what happened. Right? At some basic level, we know what pregnancies are the result of.
We might have to boil it down to the least common denominator, but stay with me, and think about the list of struggles we are going to examine. At the most basic level, people go in debt because they spend more than they make. At the simplistic core, people struggle with pornography because they take that first look at it. As a starting point, people become overwhelmed by stress because they don’t properly handle stressors. And, when it gets right down to it, people get pregnant because. . .well, you know.
At some simple, least common denominator level, we can pretty much discern, with a pretty good degree of accuracy, why people are in the situation they are in. And what my experience in life has been is that the question, “What happened?” is not really what people are asking. What they are really asking. What they really want to know. What they simply can’t come right out and say is, “Hey, what are all the juicy details behind this mess?” Not always. Not everyone. But far too often, and for far too many of us.
Let’s face it. And I don’t want to shock you here. But out there, we, the church of America, are not exactly considered to be a place of high confidentiality. We are known for gossip. We are known for judgmentalism. We are known for being in the business of being in everyone else’s business. I know you might like to hear me just come out and say it like that, but after more than 35 years in all kinds of churches, I know it is true.
Now, as long as the pot is boiling in the stove, let me just dive right into it. Here is my suggestion. What people are looking for in the church is not near so much another place to re-hash the details of the mess they are in. A place to ponder their past. To once again feel all the guilt and shame because it just felt so good the first time. They are looking for a place to help them in the present, and walk with them into the future.
Sure, they might seek out a pastor, or a counselor, or a professional, or even a close friend to talk about the details of “what happened.” But when they come in here, my guess is they just want to know if they can be accepted where they are at, and loved through where they are heading. They want to know if we are interested in their dirt, or interested in helping them.
You see, whether it is a couple in their 40s that didn’t even think they could have kids again, and all the sudden. . .the test is positive. Or whether it is a couple in their teens who have had too much too drink, ventured off to too private of a place, and now find themselves thrust into the world of parenting. Or whether it is a 21 year old college student who really thought he loved her, and wanted to show him that she loved him too.
Or even whether it is a young, teenage village girl, betrothed to be married, who hasn’t even touched her fiancé. They all hold something in common. Life has taken an unexpected turn. From this day forward, it is going to be radically different, and they need something and someone to cling to if they are going to make it from here.
Let’s look at three things that Mary clinged to as she approached her unexpected turn:
1. MARY APPROACHED HER UNEXPECTED TURN WITH...FAVOR.
(read verse 28) In Mary’s case, she was given favor by God. High favor. Not by any work, or merit, or part that she had played. It was a gift from God. And before we can face life’s unexpected turns, we need to recognize God’s favor. His grace.
Each one of us has been given the grace, the favor that is needed to face an unplanned pregnancy, divorce, debt, or countless other surprise turns in this journey we call life.
I will not claim to fully understand how all this works. However, I know that each and every person, each and every baby, each and every life that God creates is a blessing from God. A testimony to God’s grace and favor.
This week I was spending some time with an individual, and I kept cringing as we shared about the epidemic of teen pregnancy because he kept utilizing the terms “illegitimate babies” and “illegitimate children.” And you can argue with me until you are blue in the face, and you will still not convince me that God looks upon any life, any of His creations as “illegitimate.”
No, I don’t understand why the victim of a violent rape gets pregnant, while many partying college students live sexually promiscuous lives with seeming no long term consequences. It is beyond my grasp how married couples can work for years, desiring to have children, and remain barren while a 14 year-old behaves carelessly one afternoon and is instantly pregnant.
But I choose to believe that our loving Father looks down upon both the infant born as the result of a cowardly attack, and the infant born to a mom who isn’t even old enough to drive, and He sees them as “legitimate lives.” And I believe that regardless of the circumstances that led to the unexpected pregnancy, when we stop pondering the past, meet them in the present and begin walking into the future, we can recognize God’s grace and approach that new life, that precious infant, as a sign of God’s favor.
You see, we like to sterilize the Bible. We act like, “Well, it was easy for Mary. She had an angel and everything.” Man, if you think Mary being pregnant, as an unmarried teenage girl, was any easier on her then than it is on any 2007 Lexington teenager just because she had seen an angel. I’m sorry, but you are crazy. It was a disgrace. Probably even more so then, than it is now when the numbers show the commonality of such a crisis.
For Mary, it probably looked and felt something like this. . . (show Nativity Clip of Joseph confronting Mary on news of pregnancy)
A tough situation to say the least. Life is hard. And yet Mary approached her challenge with favor. The blessing of new life. The grace of God. Secondly. . .
2. MARY APPROACHED HER UNEXPECTED TURN WITH.... FAITH.
Look at Mary’s question for Gabriel (read verse 34). How? Not the question I would have asked, and do ask. You know what question I would have asked? “Why?” “Why me?” “Why now?” “Can’t this wait until after the wedding?” But Mary asks, “How?” It seems that Mary already believes that it will happen, she just doesn’t know how it will happen.
Look back at verse 18, and check out the difference in tone and question of Zechariah. (read verse 18) Now that’s a man’s response. “Come on. How in the world is my wife going to get pregnant? I’m old. And oh man, have you seen her wrinkles? We are old.”
Mary seems to have never doubted that God could do it. How “will” this happen? I know God will do it, now just tell me what’s going to happen in my life.
As difficult as the situation Mary faces might be, Mary is still able to do something at fourteen years of age that many of us struggle with today. Mary still has no hesitation to trust God and to trust God completely. She knows that God is not only present in her situation but that God surrounds every aspect of her condition. So no matter how difficult things might appear, her circumstance is one for celebration and thanksgiving because she trusts that God is with her.
You see, either it was all edited out, or Mary was not angry about all the difficulties her pregnancy would bring upon her. Mary still trusted that God would never abandon His children of whom she was one, and one of which He was creating inside of her.
One more. And this next point determines whether we will successfully negotiate just about any of life’s unexpected turns. Not just an unplanned pregnancy.
3. MARY APPROACHED HER UNEXPECTED TURN WITH...FLEXIBILITY.
Look again with me at verse 38 (read). Okay. Did you really hear that this morning? This is a young, teenage girl. She is a virgin. She is supposed to be married to a man whose very word regarding this pregnancy can result in her death as it becomes public knowledge. She can be stoned for this.
This is not the 90 year-old woman with decades of testimonies to God’s faithfulness. This is not a mother of 30 some years who is facing another of life’s many unexpected turns. This is just a 14 or 15 year old girl. Most kids that age still haven’t figured out that life isn’t fair. Right? And she says (read verse 38).
No complaints about the shame. No complaints about the ostracizing and ridicule she will face. No complaints about not having “a say in the matter.” Think about what is gone. There will be no more big wedding. No more grand celebration. No more invitations and reception. And there are no complaints from Mary. Just a recognition of God’s favor, faith in God’s love, and flexibility to adjust her life to God’s plan.
I don’t know about you, but that isn’t my first reaction. When life turns unexpectedly for me, I’m heading straight to the complaint line. 1-800-WHINER. The pity party. “Excuse me God. Where is the suggestion box, because I’ve got a few for You.”
In fact, as life takes an unexpected turn, I can become a complete slave to my will, my plans, my agenda, my ego, my pride, my dreams. And when those get crunched by a crisis. Ugh! And did you notice all the “my”s?
So how did Mary do it? Simple really. She wasn’t a servant to self. She was a servant to the Lord. And whatever He willed for her life, she was ready to accept.
I don’t know if you have ever thought about this. But one of the most difficult things for many of us is not necessarily how trying some of our circumstances are. The actual events are in many ways just a cover for our true struggle. Because for many of us the most difficult thing is trying to figure out what God’s will is in the midst of the unexpected, harsh, difficult, seemingly impossible circumstances.
Let me make sure you hear that this morning. When push comes to shove, what we have to honestly admit is that often the most difficult thing for us is not the actual circumstance. It is trying to figure out what God’s will is for us in the midst of the circumstances. And that is why we need to shift our focus from the events that our transpiring in our lives, to remembering who we serve. Adjust our lives to His future. Believe in faith that He will go with us. And celebrate His favor upon us.
As we close, I want to make sure you don’t mis-understand a very significant point, or walk away saying, “Man, Pastor Chip is cool with teenage pregnancy. He even refers to it as God’s favor.”
Again, I don’t understand how it all works. I know from God’s word that He does not desire for people to be sexually intimate outside of marriage. I know from God’s word that He does not want for people to be sexually abused, and violated. I know from God’s word that everyone of those stats I opened this teaching with breaks His heart.
But I also know that when people come into our midst, struggling with an unplanned pregnancy, there isn’t a whole lot we can do to change or correct their past. But there are countless opportunities for us to bless their present, and help guide them into a Godly future.
In some ways, Kenny Chesney has it right. God can take the uncertainties and fears and the mistake that we thought we made, and turn it into someone whose pictures cover up our refrigerator.
So if you are living out the consequences of, or currently even walking through an unplanned pregnancy, I want you to know, “We care about you.” Not about any of the details that have brought you to this point in your life that you don’t want to share and have spent enough time suffering in the reflection of. But we care about you and the favor that God desires to pour into your life from this point forward.
And if you are facing this type of a life crisis, there are people here to help you through it. There are resources like Assurance Care for Women, and Step-by-Step to support and encourage you. And there is a God that values you, and that child He has created in your life.
Let’s pray. (Serious caution as we open the door for acknowledgement)
