Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David...In everything [Da-vid] did he had great success, because the Lord was with him.--I Samuel 18:8, 9, 14
HOW TO OVERCOME A JEALOUS SPIRIT
To be jealous of someone is to be intolerant and hostile toward a person who is perceived to be a threat or a rival to one’s position or authority. A jealous spirit stems from feelings of over-possessiveness and holding too high an opinion of oneself. The jealous person feels like no one else can—or should be able to—do what they do; the jealous person feels that no one else has the right to do what they can do. Instead of admiring the capabilities, competence, excellence or talents of another, the jealous person views these qualities as a challenge to who they are.
A jealous spirit reveals a flaw in one’s character. It’s an admission of one’s feelings of inadequacy; it’s a way of defending ourselves against the reality that someone may be better at something than we are. When we behave jealously toward another’s accomplishments, we’re actually showing our inability to deal with the truth. No one likes to think of himself as not measuring up to another. But a reality of life is that there will always be someone who is better at something than we are. But rather than accept that reality, the one who is controlled by a spirit of jealousy will feed his feelings of inadequacy through displays of anger and resentment toward what another has achieved.
Then a third thing about jealousy is that jealousy is often the result of our frustration at wasted opportunities. People who have wasted their opportunities often can’t accept the fact that another won’t make the same mistake, and the jealous person will do all that he can to deny the other fellow an opportunity to succeed where he has failed. It’s that kind of attitude that gives birth to stumbling blocks. You may have tried something; you may have tried to do something positive; you may have labored long and hard to bring something to fruition. And for whatever reason, you didn’t achieve your goal. Perhaps it had to do with your job; maybe you set certain career goals for yourself, but you wasted your opportunities and fell short of your goal. And now, you’ve made up your mind that, if you can’t succeed then no one will succeed, and you’re doing all that you can to mess up the program. Maybe it had something to do with your personal life; maybe you came from a negative family situation; perhaps you weren’t given the same opportunity to achieve that others had because you looked a certain way or because you came from a certain part of town or because your hair was of a different texture from somebody else. And it’s bad that that kind of thing happens to anybody. But now, you’re so filled with bitterness and frustration that every chance you get, you try to hold someone else back and keep them down the way others kept you down. And you don’t see any harm in what you’re doing because your frustration and disappointment has so warped your perspective that, in your mind, wrong is right and evil is good.
Well, this brings us to a fourth point about jealousy: Jealousy almost always reveals itself in a destructive manner. It can start off with negative talk and little dirty dealings, but if it goes on unchecked, jealousy can lead to terrible tragedy. Jealousy caused Cain to kill his brother Abel; jealousy caused Lot to turn his back on his uncle Abraham; jealousy caused Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery. And just like jealousy destroyed in the days of old, jealousy is destroying a lot of us right now. Some husband and wife are at each other’s throats today over jealousy; some brother and sister can’t stand to be in each other’s presence because of jealousy; somebody is in the hospital, or worse yet, in the cemetery because of somebody else’s jealousy.
But even more than the destructive nature of a jealous spirit, you need to know today that jealousy cuts you off from God. You see the jealous man or woman sees his life as being in his hands; they see their success or failure as ultimately being up to them. But when you have the right outlook on life, then you know that you don’t need to be jealous of anybody because God is in charge. And if God is in charge, then no one can take from you what God has given you; if God is in charge, then I’m not be concerned with what God has blessed somebody else with, but I’m focusing all my energy on doing the best that I can with what God gave me. But when we take our minds off of that and worry about what someone else has, we’re leaving God completely out of the situation. And whenever we leave God out, we’re headed for trouble. When we take our minds off of using what God has given us and get concerned about what God has given some-one else, what we’re really doing is discounting the value of God’s gift to us. When I think about Jesus’ parable of the talents—where a Master gave 5 talents to one man, 2 to a second and 1 to a third, and the third fellow did nothing with what the Master gave him—though the scripture doesn’t say so, I wonder if part of the one-talent man’s pro-blem was that he was so jealous that the five-talent and two-talent man were given more than he had that he put no value on what he had and decided that, rather than do the best that he could with what he had, he wasn’t going to do anything. And the result of his jealous behavior was that it cut him off from the Master’s favor, for when the Master returned, he took away from the man the one talent that he had.
And so I stopped by today to say two things to you: First, if you have a jealous spirit today, you need to work to put your jealousy in check, for jealousy is destructive and cuts you off from God’s blessing, and I think we’ve made that point. But in the time that I have remaining, I want to turn my attention from the one that’s caught up in a jealous spirit to the one that’s being victimized by a jealous spirit. And the message to you today is that you can make it in spite of somebody else’s jealousy.
In our text today, we see how a spirit of jealousy can mess up a situation, but we also see how we can overcome a jealous spirit. The man caught up in jealousy is King Saul, and the man being victimized by jealousy is God’s servant, David. As we set the scene, it’s important to note that, while Saul was jealous of David, the truth is that Saul had brought his troubles on himself. Saul had been blessed by God to become King of Israel, and God had endowed Saul with certain talents and abilities. The Bible describes him as a choice young man, humble and filled with self-control. But along the way, Saul got full of himself, and he began to think that he was more than he was. Twice Saul disobeyed God and did what he wanted to do. And as a result God told Saul, through Samuel, that his kingdom would not last, and that another would reign in his place. The Bible says that God took His spirit from Saul, and that as a result of the absence of the Spirit of God, an evil spirit consumed him. And this evil spirit caused Saul to be filled with jealousy toward David.
I remind you that Saul first became aware of David one hot afternoon in the Elah valley, when the young shepherd boy decided to uphold the honor of the Lord and face the Philistine warrior, Goliath, in combat. No man in Israel’s army, including Saul, was willing to face Goliath, but David, without sword or shield, without armor or helmet, in the power of the Lord, was able to bring Goliath down. That day, Saul was very pleased with David, and he took him into his own house, and made him as one of his own sons. But as David continued to labor faithfully in Saul’s service, the Bible says that two things happened.
The first thing that happened was that David’s popularity with the people grew. The eighteenth chapter of I Samuel tells how, as David was returning home one day from a successful mission for the King, the crowds began to call his name and sing his praises. As David passed by, the women sang to one another, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” But the second thing that happened was, when Saul heard their singing, his countenance toward David changed, and the Bible says that, from that day forward, Saul tried to destroy David.
Now I want you to understand that David had done no evil to Saul, and in fact, the singing of these women was not disrespectful to Saul. They were simply giving David credit for his accomplishments. But Saul saw this action as them exalting David over him, and their singing made him angry and paranoid. Hear him as he asks himself, “If they ascribe to David ten thousand and to me just thousands, then what else could David be after than to take my kingdom from me?”
It wasn’t long after that that Saul tried to take David’s life. Twice he hurled spears at David’s head. He sent men to David’s house to kill him, and a little while later, he began to hunt David down to destroy him. Saul was so jealous of David that he forgot about everything else. He used his children, he neglected his kingdom, and eventually he lost his mind behind his jealousy of David.
But I want you to note that, through it all, David was all right; David was able to overcome. And if you want to how, the Bible gives us the reasons in the fourteenth verse.
First of all, David was able to overcome jealousy because David showed wisdom and strong discipline. The scripture says that, in all things David, behaved himself wisely.
My friends, you don’t have to answer every unkind thing that’s said about you; you don’t have to respond to every mean thing that is done to you. But sometimes the wisest thing that you can do is to just keep on keeping on. David knew that he had not done anything to Saul. In fact, David had done all that he could to be the most loyal servant that he could to Saul. But even when Saul turned against him, even when Saul tried his best to destroy him, David made up his mind that he was going to do the right thing.
Church, there’s something to be said for wise behavior. Wisdom has its rewards, not just in eternity, but in the here and now. When you show wisdom and discipline then even when folk don’t like you, they have to respect you. David didn’t set out to win anyone’s favor, but the more wisdom and discipline he showed, the more he just tried to do the right thing, the more the people fell in love with him.
And then, the most important thing to help David overcome Saul’s jealousy was that the Lord was with David. If you read the scripture, you will see that Saul realized he was not only fighting David, but he was fighting God. Saul knew that God had laid His hands on David, and that to fight David was, indeed, to fight God. But Saul continued to try to destroy David anyhow. But through it all, God kept David safe, and in His own time, God gave David the victory.
As I move toward a close today Church, you can successfully deal with jealousy if you just remember that God is with you. No matter how people plot against you, no matter how folk may plan your down-fall, if God has His hands on you, no power can destroy you; if God has His hands on you, you will be victorious. You can’t stop God’s program; no matter how you try, God’s will will be done. And when folk come against you, if you’re in the Lord’s hands, in His own time, and in His own way, He will give you the victory.
I heard this same David say, in the 37th Psalm, “Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. [But you just] trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
