WHO ARE YOU WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING*
(Ezek. 8:7-12)
1. Jay Utley tells a story of a homeless man walking up to him on the street and asking
for a cup of coffee. The man was drunk and rather obnoxious. After the 2nd or 3rd
time Jay got frustrated, and with the man standing close in front of him Jay quickly brushed by him. As he did he accidentally bumped the man and the man losing his balance fell to the sidewalk. As Jay looked on the man raised up on one elbow and said “Young man I wish you could see the man that I am supposed to be.”
a. I wish each of us could see the person that we are supposed to be.
b. As one writer expressed it: “If we could see ourselves as God sees us, we would rise up and never be the same again.”
c. Lewis Smedes in his book The Pretty Good Person tells of a conversation with
his brother Wes who because of brain cancer had at best a year of reasonably
good health left. So he asked Wes, “What are you going to do?” His reply, “I’ve
been thinking about it, but I feel silly talking about it. I just want to be a better
person.”
d. What do you want? Do you just want to be a better person?
e. When Pablo Pasas, the greatest challis of all time was 90, he continued to practice
4-5 hours each day. When he was asked “Why” he responded by saying “I have
a feeling that I am making a little progress.”
(1) That should be the attitude, the desire, the commitment of every Christian.
(2) Just wanting to make a little progress…just wanting to be a little more of what
God would have me to be…just wanting to be a little better.
(3) What I want to talk about specifically is personal character. One area that all
of us should be concerned about growing in.
2. Let me tell you about four people who have character.
a. Ruben Gonzales was in the first professional racket-ball tournament. An unknown
who was playing the world champion. It was the fourth and final game and it was
match point. Gonzales made a killer shot into the front wall to win the game. The
referee called the shot good. The line judge confirmed that the shot was in. But
Gonzales, after a moment’s hesitation, turned around, walked over to his opponent and shook hand and declared that his shot had hit the floor first. As a result he lost the match. The crowd was stunned as he walked off the floor. Everything was officially in his favor. He had the victory. But he chose to disqualify himself because he knew the truth. When asked why he did what he did, his reply “It was the only thing I could do to maintain my integrity. There will always be another match to win, but I could never regain my lost integrity.”
b. Coach Cleveland Stroud coached the Blue Collar Bulldogs of Rockdale County
High School in Georgia for 18 years. After a 21-5 season, he lead his team to the
state championship and they won. He described it as “the perfect night. A night
that you dream of.” He was carried off the floor on his players shoulders, his
picture was on the front page of the local paper the next day. The town was
ecstatic. But the excitement was short lived.
Two months after the championship during a routine grade check, Coach Stroud
discovered that one of his players had been academically ineligible. The player
in question had only played 45 seconds during the first of five post season games
and had made no impact on the outcome of the game. Briefly struggling with
what to do, Coach Stroud did what people of integrity do – he did what was
right. He reported the error to the league officials and the Bulldogs had to
forfeit their state championship. Coach Stroud’s statement to his team “Winning
is the most important goal to any coach, but your principles have to be higher
than your goals. You have got to do what is honest and right and what the rules
say. People will forget the scores of basketball games, but they don’t ever forget
what you are made of.”
c. Then there was the young girl a few years ago who before a national audience misspelled a word at the national spelling competition. The judges however counted it right. The girl turned to take her seat, but she could not. Knowing
she had misspelled the word, she turned, walked back to the podium, stepped in front of the mike and disqualified herself from the competition, telling the judges
that she had misspelled the word.
d. And there was the surgical technician, responsible for the sponges used during an operation that would not allow the patient to be closed up until one more sponge was accounted for. Following the surgery the doctor ordered that he cavity be closed up, but the technician spoke up and said they could not do that because there was one sponge unaccounted for: that twelve had gone in and she only had eleven on her tray. The doctor looked at her and asked if she was questioning his
authority. Her response “No sir, I am just doing my job and I am certain that
twelve sponges went in and I only have eleven on my tray.” He looked at her
and asked “First day right? Close the cavity.” And she responded “No, there
were twelve sponges that went in and only eleven have come out.” The doctor
glared at her, smiled and winked. And then raised his right foot to reveal the
12th sponge underneath his foot on the floor. Looking back at the technician
he said “Hon, I think you will do. Close the cavity.”
3. Character…there are people who have it…I am privileged to know a few.
a. People who will not sale out…People who hold high standards when it comes to morals and ethics, fairness and honesty, trust and faithfulness
b. And such people are not valued enough in our culture…
c. We value ability, personality, position, power...achievement is applauded rather than substance…what works more than personal character…
4. Open your Bibles to Ezekiel 8:7-12…now to Matthew 23:27-33
a. Two examples, both revealing the same thing – Israel’s leaders were one thing
in public before their people, and something else when in private when the
world was not watching.
b. My question to you: Who are you when no one is looking?
c. I want to make five observations regarding personal character.
Observation #1 – Character is What You Are, Not What You Appear To Be
A. Appearances can be so deceiving
1. I read about a guy who driving across one of the reservations out west hit a
moose dear. Having driven away he began to think of what a road hazard the
dear was laying there in the road, and besides that was a lot of meat. So he
returned and loaded the dear into his SUV. He was headed to town when he
heard a noise, looked up and discovered that his dead dear was not dead at
all. He managed to get out of his car and could only watch as the dear proceeded
to destroy the inside of his car.
2. Or the story on the news a few years ago of a lady who appeared to be 8-9 months pregnant working her way through a local supermarket. Who when she left the store and went to her car proceeded to give birth to a pound of butter, a chuck roast, pancake syrup, two tubes of toothpaste and four candy bars.
B. Looks can be just as deceiving at church.
1. Who you appear to be on Sunday has nothing to do with who you are the other
six days a week.
2. We could talk for hours about preachers, elders, deacons, Sunday School
teachers, Christian college teachers and administrators, Christian service
workers, who were believed to be one thing and were found out to be
something else.
3. The world over past few years has witnessed “Pearly Gate” (13 million viewers
…$173 million in annual revenues…2300 acre theme park ranked only behind
Disney World & Disney Land in attendance)…Jimmy Swaggard (sexual
escapades)…the president of Inner Varsity Press and author of Ordering Your
Private World, a book on discipline and Christian character (involved in
an adulterous affair during this time)…RCC throughout 2002 (one priest
after another charged sexual abuse)
C. I encourage you to read and reread Ezekiel 8 and Matthew 23 – you have seen this in
the lives of others – Is this ever true of you?
1. One thing in public…one thing before your family…one thing before your
friends and at church…but something else in private.
2. Joe Kennedy told his boys, Jack, John, Robert and Ted “What counts is not what
you are, but what you appear to be.”
a. And the industry of image making was born – you put forward your best face…
you perfect your public image…you play the game whatever the price
b. Stephen Covey calls it the “Personality Ethic” and it has pervaded our
culture for the past fifty years. That while we once valued character, we now
value public image, personality and presentation.
D. So different from what my Bible teaches
1. I Samuel 16:7 – remember when Samuel went to Jesse to anoint a new king over
the nation of Israel – “The Lord does not look at the things that man looks at
(outward appearance) but the Lord looks on the heart.”
2. John 7:24 – Do not judge according to appearance, but make a right judgment.”
3. Character is a…
a. Joseph who though sold into slavery and tempted to sin in a situation where
no one would know, knew who and whose he was and maintained his
personal character.
b. Daniel who could not do what the king demanded, because that was not who
he was
c. Nathaniel who could have the very thoughts of his heart critiqued by the Master
and it was clean and pure and noble
E. Character is about who you are – not who you appear to be.
1. Character is not cosmetics
2. Character is who you are when no one is looking…and only you know
Observation #2 – Character is About Who You Are at the Core
A. When the Bible talks about the core of our being, it is talking about our heart.
1. Prov. 23:7 – “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
2. Prov. 4:23 – “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.”
3. Prov. 27:19 – “As in water face reflects face, so a man’s heart reveals the man.”
4. Jesus said “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good
things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart, brings forth evil things
B. Character has to do with what goes on deep down in that place that the Bible calls the
heart…
1. We are talking about our intentions, our inclinations, how we are disposed to live,
the set of our sails, the desires, the motives, the habits of our hearts.
2. One’s true character is sometimes exposed and they have to admit their sins and the
inconsistency in their talk and their walk…
a. But you have to wonder if what comes from their mouth came from their
heart…
b. Admission is not confession…People of character make mistakes
(1) And when they do they confess it…correct it…and change their ways
(2) Character has to do with who you are at the core
(3) “You are not what you think you are but what you think is what you are.”
…and you and God alone know that
Observation #3 – Character is About What You Do
A. Character implies a consistency in what I am and what I do…in what is in my heart
and what I daily act out in my daily life
1. James 2:26 – “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is
dead also.”
2. Character is a matter of what we say and what we do being consistent.
3. In 2002 Wynona Rider (actress) was video taped steeling merchandise from an
exclusive department in Los Angeles. She was arrested, tried and given probation
and community service. After the trial the prosecutor had the following comment
before the TV cameras: “This case was never about personal character, but about
personal conduct.”
a. You cannot separate the two
b. Many have tried – (Ezek. 8; Matt. 23)
B. Character is consistency…predictability…it is your walk matching your talk
1. It isn’t what we do once in a while…not what we do when we feel like it or when
it is to our advantage.
a. Because I can go home and whip up a batch of cookies, that does not make me a baker
b. Even a broken clock is right twice a day
2. Character is day in, day out consistently… it is daily walking your talk.
Observation #4 –Character is About the Tension Between Our Inclinations and Our Wills
A. There is within each of us two very real possibilities
1. There is that person that one is born to be. That person that God alone knows
that one can be.
a. I love the thought that thought we’ve already used: “If one could see himself as God sees him, he would rise up and never be the same again.”
b. There is that person that God sees…that potential…that possibility
2. Then there is that person that I am naturally inclined to be.
a. Because of man’s nature and the influence of sin in our lives each of us have
a certain bent and that bent is a bit crooked.
b. There is that tendency to follow that path of least resistance which of course is what makes both men and rivers crooked.
B. Between those two – in that tension between who I know God wants me to be and knows that I can be and who I am personally inclined to be that I discover my character.
1. If you are to be a person of character you have to go against those natural
inclinations
2. Remember Paul’s struggle (Romans 7:14-23) – we all have that struggle don’t we
3. Character is doing what is right when you want to do wrong…its doing good when there is nothing tangible to gain…its loving though it results in personal loss…it is hanging in when it hurts…its faithfulness in the face of frustration
4. Paul Faulker (in his book Making Things Go Right When Things Go Wrong ) talks about our wanter and our willer.
a. That struggle between what we want to do and what we will do.
b. My will must take priority over my wants if I am to be a person of
character.
Observation #5 – Character is About What You Are Becoming
A. Where I am headed with my life tells you volumes about my character.
1. I like the way one writer put it – “Character implies that our choices are not
nearly as interesting as the person that is being produced by those choices.”
2. Character is about who and what I want to be 10, 20, 30 years from today…
and the choices I make daily to insure that coming to pass.
a. We each are who and what we are because of the choices we have made
up to this point in our lives and who and what we become will be the result of the choices we make from this day forward
b. My character determines and dictates those choices
B. I love a quote by Joe Frazier, who though speaking about boxing, it applies to
to every area of life.
1. “If you fail to do your road work in the wee hours of the morning, you will be
found out under the bright lights of the ring.”
2. Those character based choices we make every day will be exposed in the tomorrows of our lives…There is no way around that…we will reap what we sow
C. What do you want to be?
1. I hope more than anything else it is to be like Jesus…that must be the goal of every Christian. (II Cor. 3:18) “But we all with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory.”
2. That choice and every choice is determined by your character. What are you going to be? Your character right now dictates that.
Observation #6 – Character is Not About What the Group is Doing Around Me
A. Character is not always seen in a group
1. The affect of a group is strong and often in the context of a group character is
revealed
2. Scott Peck (author of The Road Less Traveled calls it “Psychic Norming”
a. “The ability of the group to profoundly affect our behavior”
b. It happened at Jonestown…it happened in Malay in 1968 when US soldiers killed 600 civilians…It happened at the holocaust 70 years ago…It happened just outside the walls of Jerusalem 2,000 years ago
c. People unwilling to go against the group and sometimes doing terrible things.
3. That pressure to conform…to be like the group…to be accepted by the group
…has resulted in so many horrible, damaging and sinful things…even by
those who would otherwise not do them.
B. “But don’t judge my character, either good or bad, by just how I am in the crowd.”
1. We keep saying – character is how I am when no one is looking
2. For those that travel in their work, they know how easy it is to be one thing at
home and something else “on the road”.
a. We all know the reputation business conventions have and the reality of what
happens when many are alone in their hotel rooms at night
b. If you confronted one who took part in sinful activities he would be quick to point out that that isn’t who he is…But I would contend that in the theology of
ethics, that that is exactly who he is. It is just that when he is with a better group he conforms to their standard.
3. If you want to learn a lot about yourself, watch yourself when no one is looking
a. When you are away from home…where no one knows…is your talk, your
dress, your actions, what you do, consistent with who you are here?
b. Carefully take a look at your walk and your talk.
4. . I hate to share this but it makes my point – The Peachtree Hotel was the
location of the 1984 Youth Workers Conference. Youth workers from all
over the country from all different religious bodies came together to learn
how to improve their craft; to learn more effective ways to minister in
their churches. They occupied 85% of the rooms of that convention center.
What a wonderful environment that must have been. The youth, the
enthusiasm, the environment. But when the workshops and lectures and
worship services were over and they returned to their rooms it was a
different story. The Peachtree reported that more pornographic movies were ordered that weekend than any other weekend that year.
a. Character is not about what my group is doing…or who I am when I am with
my group…it is about who I am when it is just me and God
b. I know what others presence does to me…both good and bad…but much
of the time no one is looking and it is at those moments that I know the
difference that Jesus makes in my life.
c. Character is not cosmetics…character cannot be counterfeited…it is a matter
of the heart…it isn’t something you take off and put on…you either have it
or you don’t…and only you know.
1. I wish I could keep going, but I need to stop.
2. I want to end with 2 stories…a piece printed in the Chicago Times a few years back
When Johnny was 6 years old he was with his father when they were stopped
for speeding. His father handed the officer a twenty dollar bill along with his
drivers license, turned to his son and said “It’s okay son, everybody does it.”
When he was 8 he was present at a family counsel lead by his uncle George where
they discussed the cleverest means to shave money off their income tax returns.
He was told that “Everybody does it.” When he was 9 his mother took him to his
first theater production. The box office attendant could not find any extra seats
until his mother found an extra ten dollar bill in her purse. She told him that that
is the way everybody does it. When he was 12 he broke his glasses on the way to
school. His aunt Francene turned them in to the insurance company as being lost
and they were reimbursed. She said “It’s okay. Everybody does it.” When he was
15 he made right guard on the football team. His coach showed him how to block
and at the same time grab the jersey of the opponent in a way that the ref could not
see it. The coach said “It’s okay. Everybody does it.” When he was 16 he took his
first summer job at the supermarket. His assignment was to put the overripe straw- berries on the bottom and the good ones on the top. He was told, “It’s alright kid.
Everybody does it.” When he was 18 Johnny and his neighbor applied for college
scholarships. Johnny was a marginal student while his neighbor was in the upper
three percent of his class, but he could not play right guard, so Johnny got the
scholarship. That is okay his parents told him, that is the way everyone does it.
When he was 19 he was approached by an upper classman who offered him the
test answers for $50. “It’s okay kid. We all do it.” Johnny was caught and sent
home in disgrace. “How could you do this to your mother and me his father
demanded. You never did anything like this at home.” His aunts and uncles were
also shocked and told him that if there was one thing that the adult world could
not stand it was a kid who cheats.”
3. How important is character to me personally? – Soon after moving to Pulaski my
children, Josh and Britney were eight and six. We walked out of Bi-Lo one day
and when I put my quarter into a coke machine out came not one but two cokes.
I told Josh and Britney to go on to the car where their mom was waiting and I took the extra coke back into the store. When I came back out to the car the first thing I heard as I opened the door was Britney telling Josh, “I told you he would
take it back.” I have thought about that comment many times since. For twenty-
five cents I could have lost credibility with the two people I need it the most with.
- Character is precious…it is critical…it is crucial if you wear the name Christian
- Don’t do anything to damage or lose it.
*Credit: The basic outline of this sermon came from a lecture delivered by Jay Utley over ten years ago that I heard on tape.
