“POSITIVELY Free”
Freedom! Week #3
Philippians 2:14-18
INTRODUCTION:{Video: Virtual Family - sermonspice.com}
Wouldn’t it be great if it was that easy? Just put on a gadget and all our negative verbiage is translated into words that edify and encourage. That would be great! But let’s face it, there is no such gadget even though a lot of us could really use it. In fact, I believe that many Americans believe they have a license to complain. We may be some of the worst offenders when it comes to negativity and complaining. If you’ve ever taken a mission trip you may understand why I say that. The trips I’ve been on are in 3rd world countries and it’s amazing that they have so little, yet complaining is almost non-existent. Why is it such a problem?
I think at least part of the difficulty is that we have an unrealistic view of what life is supposed to be. In other words we have it so good that the least imperfect thing can get us griping. We complain because our remote control isn’t working, and yet we have TVs. We gripe because there is crab grass in our plush lawns and yet we have property. We chafe because the rooms in our homes are not large enough and yet seldom thank God for having a roof over our heads. I am convinced that if Americans would of been at the feeding of the 5000 that we would of complained because there was no butter for the bread nor lemon for the fish.
Please understand that the Bible makes it clear where God stands on complainers. Would you read out loud with me the first verse of our text- Phil. 2:14- "Do everything without complaining or arguing.."(Repeat) Now, if you immediately are saying in your spirit, “I hate it when he does that.. Repeat after me” then you’re in the right place. God gives it to us in a cut and dry imperative... "Do everything..." Why? Well, once again God knows what is best for us. You see, He knows that a critical spirit is a kill joy. It erodes our peace, it insults the goodness of God and harms our influence for Christ. So, as we continue our series on Freedom! let’s get personal and practical and talk together about how to be “Positively free!”, let’s attack the problem of negativity. And while we talk about this please do yourself and your loved ones a favor. Don’t listen and say, "Oh, I hope my husband/wife is listening to this!" -OR- "I hope so and so is getting this!" Look deep within yourself, because I believe we all, to some degree, have a problem with this. And I promise that If you will heed the advice that the Holy Spirit gives through the Bible today, then your life will be better and most importantly, our God will be honored.
I. CLASSIFYING COMPLAINERS:
Now, before we get into the main part of the message I want to go down one side road. It is important to understand the difference between a legitimate complaint and chronic complaining. There are times when it is not wrong to speak out. If we pay good money for something and it doesn’t fit or we invest hard earned dollars in a car and it doesn’t run properly, or there is a legitimate problem at work we need some avenue to seek correction. And I think we ought to be thankful for organizations like M.A.D.D., Focus on the Family, the A.F.A. and other organizations who voice legitimate complaints and thus make improvements in our society. But our problem is that a lot of our complaining is not about a problem we can correct, but about circumstances we don’t like.
Let’s begin by seeing four attitudes that bring on a critical spirit. Identification can be instrumental in solving a problem. I’ve listed a little catch phrase with each, to make it easier to identify the particuar kind of complainer. So, as you listen to each phrase ask yourself, "Is this me?”Remember this phrase: “Introspection can bring revelation.” If you will look deep within while we talk I believe God’s spirit can speak to your soul. In fact, I’ve had a slide made to remind us.. No elbows during this portion of the message. .. 4 types of complainers.
(1) The first attitude that brings on a critical spirit is the "whiner." This is the person that wakes up negative. They "rise and whine." The tell tale catch phrase for this person is: "It’s not fair!" This person never feels like he gets what he derserves and never deserves what he gets. Jesus told a parable that had some whiners in it. Matt. 20 is the story of the vineyard owner who hired some workers at 6am and promised them a days wage for their labor. Now, the owner also hired some workers at 9am, noon, 3pm and 5pm. When 6:oo pm rolled around and everyone quit for the day the owner called in the workers by who was hired last. The 5pm guys came and to their surprise the owner paid them an entire days wage for just one hour! Good deal. He paid the same amount to the guys hired at 3pm, 12pm and 9am. So when the guys who were hired at 6am came to be paid they thought they would be paid more than what they agreed to. But the owner paid them the same. Listen what the Bible says, " “But when they were given the same they began complaining to the owner of the vineyard. 12They said, “The ones who were hired last worked for only one hour. But you paid them the same that you did us. And we worked in the hot sun all day long!”13The owner answered one of them, “Friend, I didn’t cheat you. I paid you exactly what we agreed on. 14Take your money now and go! What business is it of yours if I want to pay them the same that I paid you? 15Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Why should you complain, if I want to be generous?”’ (Mt. 20:10-15 CEV)
Have you learned this very basic fact of living? Life is not fair. It will be fair in heaven but not here. But here’s the worst thing! When we complain we are not just saying life is not fair, we’re saying "God is not fair!" We may as well say to our Heavenly Father, "If I was God, I wouldn’t do it this way!" Are you comfortable standing in front of God and saying, “You’re not doing your job right God!” Here’s lesson #1 about complaining: Complaining is an expression of spiritual immaturity. Like a baby who whines at every discomfort, a complainer is one who has not learned to put their total trust and dependence on God.
(2) Attitude that brings on a critical spirit is the martyr. The favorite phrase of the martyr is: "No one appreciates me." Now, this person is a pro at having pity parties. These are the people that you don’t dare ask how they are feeling because they just might tell you.. and tell you... They are like the hypochondriac who had put on his tombstone.. "I told you I wasn’t feeling well and you wouldn’t listen.."Lesson #2- Complainers forget past provisions. Have you every griped about something that you complained about in the past but God provided? We complain about aches and pains, but our body has been aging all along and somehow God has sustained us and He promises a new body when we get to heaven. We complain about our finances... "I’ve not got enough income coming in." And yet, we’ve had similar problems before and God provided then. When will we get to the point that we give up our martyr’s complex and conclude that since God has provided for us in the past, He’ll do so in the future and quit griping?
(3) Attitude is "cynic." The catch phrase for this complainer is "Nothing will ever change." The Israelites traveled in the wilderness after God delivered them from slavery in Egypt. During their travels He led them by a cloud during the day and a pillar of fire by night. They were given water when thirsty and every day, a bread like substance called manna fed them. But in spite of His care they grumbled against God. Num.11:4-6- "Some troublemakers among them wanted better food, and soon all the Israelites began complaining. They said, “We want meat! 5We remember the fish we ate for free in Egypt. We also had cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. 6But now we have lost our appetite; nothing changes, we never see anything but this manna!”(NCV) Nothing ever changes? Yet, it had changed dramatically! They were no longer slaves in Egypt, they had been delivered through the Red Sea, they were being given food for free. But that’s the attitude of the cynic. "What’s the use? Why even try, it won’t make any difference." Lesson #3- Complaining demonstrates a lack of faith. When we complain we are grumbling against God. The complaining cynic forgets God’s goodness, never being quite satisfied with what God has done.
(4) This is the "perfectionist." This complainer is unpleaseable. The favorite phrase of the perfectionist is: "Is that the best you can do?" Now, this one will touch all of us with type A personalities, people who are driven to do things just so. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re the only one that can do it well, or complaining about how it should of been done better. Maybe that’s why Prov.27:15 says: "A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; 16You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it." (MSG)
The reason that some of us are "dog-tired" when we finish work is because we’ve been growling all day. Lesson #4- Complaining usurps God’s authority. It is God’s job to change our mates, our friends, our children, our co-workers.. not ours. Now, don’t misunderstand me here. Sometimes you have to confront in love, but you accomplish nothing by repeatedly griping or nagging .
II. CONQUERING COMPLAINING:
In contrast, God says, "Do everything without complaining...” but how do we accomplish that? I want you to see four ways the Bible gives to conquer complaining.
(1) Admit that it’s a problem. The first question to ask yourself is how do you see complaining? I mean, do you see it as a small little problem that isn’t harmful to yourself or others or do you see it from God’s point of view? The Biblical fact is: God abhors a critical spirit and a complaining tongue. There are several passages that point this out, let me give you one.. 1 Cor. 10. Here Paul tells about the Israelites in the wilderness that we spoke about a little bit ago and he says in vs:6- "The same thing could happen to us. We must be on guard so that we never get caught up in wanting our own way as they did."(v. 6 MSG) And then in v:10 he says something really sobering.. "Don’t complain as some of them did. The angel of death destroyed them." (GW) What? Some of them complained and God did what? He destroyed them! Why? Because negative, complaining people impact others. I know, we don’t think of complaining in the same light as adultery, murder or stealing but please understand complaining is a serious affront to the God who has blessed us.
The problem is that most of us don’t think of ourselves as complainers. We consider ourselves "problem identifiers" or "correctors of crisis." But let’s quit glossing over it and admit that all of us get caught up in complaining from time to time. Prov. 28:13- "A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confess and forsakes them, he gets another chance." (LB) Let’s admit the problem, confess our sin and forsake it.
(2) Accept responsibility for my own life. Many times complaining is just an attempt to blame others for the problems I’ve created. Or it is a way to excuse myself and put the focus on somebody else. Prov. 19:3- "Some people ruin themselves by their own stupid mistakes and then blame the Lord." (GN) He’s saying "don’t complain how the ball bounces, if you’re the one who dropped it." We are so good at refusing to accept blame. Listen, there are three types of people in life. There are accusers, always blaming others. There have been those since the beginning. When God confronted Adam with his sin, he took it like a man and blamed his wife! There are excusers, people who are always saying, "It’s not my fault. It’s my environment, it’s the legal system, it’s because of the economy.” But those that are most successful people are the choosers. They accept responsibility for their own decisions.
(3) This is very important. One of the keys to conquer complaining is to develop an attitude of gratitude. 1 Thess. 5:18- "Give thanks in some circumstances.. Oh, it doesn’t say that.. "Give thanks in the good circumstances.." Doesn’t say that either. It says: "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." You want to know God’s will for your life? Start with what you know.. God’s will is that you give thanks in all circumstances. Now, it doesn’t say be thankful for all circumstances.. how can you be thankful for cancer, or for getting fired? But Paul does say .. give thanks in all circumstances. Because even in the midst of bad times God will work good. Developing an attitude of gratitude is a great antidote for complaining. But so many times we allow Satan’s subtle spirit of ingratitude to seep in and we’re complaining before we know it. Will we ever get to the point where we can say like Paul in Phil. 4:11- "..I have learned to be content whatever my circumstances." (NIV) The amazing thing is that when Paul wrote that he was in prison! Wow.. how did he do that? Because he kept his attitude of gratitude focused on Jesus. He says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13 NIV) Complaining is always a symptom of ingratitude. And that brings us to the 4th way to conquer complaining..
(4) Practice speaking positively. Please understand that complaining is a habit. And habits are only broken by replacements. You must replace your complaining with something else. We’ve talked about attitude, now we are talking about an action. Something you can do to replace the complaining. Listen to Eph. 4:29 - "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Maybe Mom was right when she said, "If you can’t say something good .. what? .. don’t say anything at all.” Replace you criticisms and complaints with compliments and thanksgiving. If you will do these things you can conquer complaining.. Admit the problem, accept personal responsibility, develop an attitude of gratitude, and replace the complaints with positive speech.
III. CORRECTING COMPLAINING = CONTENTMENT:
Let’s finish by looking at the text and let’s see two great benefits that happen when we resist this sin.
(1) We will be known for our integrity. Vss:14-15 - "Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked an depraved generation.." Now, the word blameless here doesn’t mean without sin, it means, "above reproach." In other words, we are not to give others ground to criticize. "Oh, yea, she says she’s a Christian, but have you heard her moan and groan?" "Oh, he goes to church, but man he can cut you down with the best of them."
"Pure" literally means "having integrity.” Listen, our culture is so negative that when you find someone who is positive they really stand out. So Paul is saying, "Don’t complain and you won’t be someone the world can scorn. If you don’t complain, you will be seen as a person without reproach and having integrity.” The 2nd thing-
(2) We will attract others to Jesus Christ- we’ll shine like stars. Vs:15b- "in which you shine like stars in the universe.." We’ve been encouraging you to invite your friends to church. 86% of all people who do not attend church regularly say they would come if someone they knew would invite them.
One of things that I hold in my memory about my trip to the Northwest mountains of Haiti is the night sky. If you’ve ever been out in the country you may have experienced this too. But I’ve never seen a sky like I did in Haiti. I was told it was because we were so high in elevation and so far from civilization. I don’t know about that but I do know that I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. The stars in that sky were so big and bright I literally stood on a hill top one night and wept at their beauty. God never seemed so close. That’s what Paul is saying here. “When you stop complaining, when you stop being negative, when you are positive and your speech lifts others up than in comparison with this world, you shine like stars in the universe!” Listen, I don’t care how many degrees you hold, the value of your possessions or even how much Bible you know.. if the world can’t see the difference it won’t matter. I had a Bible College professor that used to say to his "preacher” boys. "Gentlemen, it isn’t enough to have the right position, you must also have the right disposition.” You say, "I can’t make an impact at work. No one would come with me." Are they seeing any brightness in you? Or are you handling things the same way they do? Shine like a star by being positive in your circumstances.
How? Paul says first in v.16 by “holding out the word of life.” We don’t merely reveal a moral contrast to the world but we bear witness. When someone says, "I can’t figure out how you handle things the way you do. How do you stay so positive?" You can point them to Scripture and His eternal promises. But there’s one more thing. Look at vss:17-18- Paul says, "I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me." Wouldn’t it be great if Christ’s Church had the reputation of: "That’s the church where all the positive people go!” You just hardly ever hear a negative word from them." You talk about blowing out the walls in the auditorium! Why, we’d have to have the fire marshals here we’d have so many people wanting to be apart of this place. Paul says, the results of not complaining are that you will be above reproach, you’ll shine like stars in a dark world and oh how you’ll impact your community by being a rejoicing, positive person.
His hands are twisted and his feet are useless. He can’t bathe or feed himself. He can’t brush his teeth, comb his hair, or put on his underwear. His shirts are held together by strips of Velcro. His speech drags like a worn-out audio cassette. Robert Reed has a severe case of cerebral palsy. The disease keeps him from driving a car, riding a bike, and going for a walk. But it didn’t keep him from graduating from high school or attending Abilene Christian University, where he got a degree in Latin. Having cerebral palsy didn’t keep him from teaching at a St. Louis junior college or from venturing overseas on 5 mission trips. Some time ago Robert spoke at a Christian crusade. Men carried him in his wheelchair to the platform. Someone laid his Bible in his lap. His stiff fingers opened up the pages and people wept in open admiration. Robert could of asked for sympathy or pity, but he did just the opposite. He held his bent hand in the air and prayed this prayer.. "My Father in heaven, thank You for Your grace. I have no complaints for You have given me everything I need for happiness!" His shirts may be held together by Velcro, but his life is held together by a joy filled freedom beyond compare!1
PRAYER
{All scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version unless otherwise noted}
1 The Applause of Heaven, Max Lucado, pps. 6-71990.
