You Don’t Have to be “Superman” to be a “Super” Dad!
WGCC
Father’s Day, June 17th 2007
There was a father that had three very active boys, maybe some of you here know what that’s like. And one summer evening dad was out playing cops and robbers with his three boys in the backyard after dinner. One of the boys “shot” his father and yelled, “Bang! You’re dead!” He slumped to the ground and when he didn’t get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if he was ok. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked father opened one eye and said, “Shhh. Don’t give me away. This is the only chance I’ve had to rest all day long.”
It can be tough to be a dad. This is something that I’m quickly learning all too well. Kids are demanding! I know that you guys out there remember a nice, peaceful, romantic time when it was just you and your wife. No crying, no screaming, no crayon scribbling on the wall. It was just you and your wife, and you didn’t have to worry about diapers or spit-ups or bottles. You could be spontaneous and just decide on the last moment to go somewhere or do something exciting. And then came babies, and suddenly you have to pack diapers and clothes, and toys, and strollers, and play wheels on the bus go round and round 50 times to make them go to sleep!
Being a parent is a lot of work, and being a dad is a tough job, especially with all the demands for our attention. Most dads have a career to think about, cars to work on, gutters to clean, lawns to be mowed, ball games to watch, wives to keep happy, parent/teacher conferences, ballet recitals to suffer through, and on and on. And with all these countless things going on, things that we have to get done or things require our attention, it can be easy to push your kids aside.
Research shows dads have a huge impact on their kids lives, both physically and spiritually. In other words dads make all the difference! But for some fathers this may not come as good news to you. But we’re seeing more and more that dads are beginning to realize the significant impact they have on their kids lives. Recently a study was performed and said that 74% of fathers report that spending times with their family or finding time for key relationships is their biggest concern in daily life. Only 64% of mothers say that.
And today, 82% of full-time working men say they would like to spend more time with their family. In 1989 it was only 70%. So we see that dads are saying more and more, I know that I CAN make a difference, but so many are saying I just DON’T know how!! For whatever reason we don’t know what to do, and I think it’s because we feel inadequate and just not good enough. We see the pictures of the “perfect” family, and guys think, there’s no way that I can be like that! We automatically think that if we want to be a good father we have to fit a certain mold.
But that’s just not true. It can be so easy to think that we have to be something that we’re not or else we can’t be good dads. So many guys think they’ve already blown it with their kids, so what’s the point of trying anymore. Maybe they have problems with anger, and their kids drive them over the edge all the time. Maybe dad feels to busy, or like he just can’t connect with his kids. I had one dad tell me one time, I want to have a good relationship with my kid but we just don’t have anything in common!
The fact is, children want to love their parents. They want their parents to be part of their lives and they want their dads to be involved and to be proud of them. But dads feel like if I’m not like Danny Tanner on Full House, or Andy Griffith, or Joe Smo perfect dad down the street then I’m not good enough to be a great Father. I don’t believe that’s true. The title of my sermon today is, “You don’t have to be Superman to be a Super Dad.” What I mean is you don’t have to fit a certain mold, or have nerves of steel, or the ability to always say and do the right thing in every situation, to be a Great Dad.
There are some qualities that make an “average dad” a “super dad.” And I want you to know that the qualities that I’m going to talk about aren’t something that you’re either born with or not. These aren’t some wonderful spiritual gifts that some people have and some people won’t ever have. These are qualities that Godly men, work to perfect in their own lives. Men that honestly want to honor God and love Him and love their families. If that is you this morning, if you have an honest desire to honor God in your life and a sincere love for your family, then these are qualities that YOU can have in your life, and it will make all the difference at home.
Now some of you guys may not have kids at home anymore, but that’s ok, because these qualities have the power to transform any relationship, even if your kids have kids. Because I can speak from experience that I look to my parents for guidance even more now than I ever have. So this message is for you today as well.
The first quality that describes a Super Dad is that a Super Dad Leads By Example. As dads we are called to lead by example, to show our kids how to live. That is our responsibility, the Bible tells us that we are responsible to be the head of our families and to lead by example. Proverbs 20:7 says, “A Godly man leads a life of integrity, blessed are his children after him.”
We have to be a Godly example for our kids if we want them to faithful to Christ. This is important and so many dads overlook the impact that their faith has on their kids. Many fathers don’t go to church, they send their kids off maybe with mom, but they themselves stay home. Maybe because they’re busy, maybe because they think church isnt’ their thing, whatever the reason they don’t go, but they want their kids to go. What kind of a message does that send to impressionable minds like that? I’ll tell you what it says, “I have to go to church when I’m little, but when I get older like daddy I don’t have to make time for God anymore.”
Whether you admit it or not, you know that your kids want to be like you. Children imitate their parents. That’s why little 4 or 5 years old Susie wants to wear make-up and high heels to dress like mommy, and why 7 year old Jimmy takes the vacuum cleaner apart so he can fix it like daddy does. Little girls feel valuable and precious to their fathers, and so later in life they will come to expect that a boyfriend or husband will treat them with the same respect and appreciation. Little boys learn to “act like men” and how to treat women, and how to be a dad.
All children seek their parents approval, and especially their fathers, and that masculine influence in their life is a huge deal. As father’s we have to teach our children how to live, and it starts and ends with how we live. In 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 Paul reminds us that “God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” That’s a key concept to remember. So many men have a hard time when it comes to surrendering to Christ. We don’t want to surrender or submit. After all we are MEN! We’re rough and tough and we don’t need anything, we are providers and guardians, and fixers of everything broken. **Manly grunts** But when we let our faith slide, when we think we don’t need God, then our life suffers. When our life suffers our marriage suffers, and then our kids suffer, and our life slowly and steadily begins to unravel and fall apart. What we think we were in complete control of proves to be chaos.
A lot of men turn to alcohol. Even more men turn to pornography and secret affairs. And they all end up unhappy, with their family in disarray, and they turn into old men and wonder where did I go wrong? In Deuteronomy God gives some very insightful advice to the Israelites, and it is appropriate for us today as well. He warned them to, “Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
It is so relevant for us today, because we have to keep ourselves and our faith in check and remember what God does for us, and what can happen to individuals and families when dad turns away from God. There are so many people in this church who would say with confidence that my dad has helped tremendously in shaping who I am today because of the example that he set for me. A few weeks ago I went to each Sunday School classroom and asked if a couple people from each class would write down on a piece of paper something that was special about your father. I was overwhelmed at how these responses came back and every thing that people wrote down fell into either this category of a Father leading by Example or our next quality which we’ll get to in a moment. Right now I’d like to share with you what some people from Walnut Grove had to say about their Fathers, and how they lead by example.:
-Tom Connelly
“My dad is special because he taught me to trust in God and be a good man”
-Cara Edwards
“My dad is special because he cares about what we listen to.”
-Kay House
“My father is special because he gave. We lived along a railroad track when I was small. Around supp time we would be visited by a traveling hobo and dad would fix a plate of food and feed him at our back door. During the summer this would happen a couple times a week.
-Kayli Seaman
“My dad is special because he teaches me how to do things around the farm.”
-Linda Miller and Shirley Jeffers
“My daddy was special because he was an alcoholic until he was 47 years old. He drank whiskey straight from the bottle all day. In 1962, he laid the bottle down and gave his life and heart to Jesus and never looked back.
-Allison Little
“My father is special because he can fix things that I need fixed.”
-Dorothy Hann
“My dad never said anything bad about anyone. He also took care of me along with a housekeeper for 5 years after my mother died.”
-Jesse Babbs
“My father is special because he went through the depression with very little money, and decided to buy some land on faith. In 1950 he bought the land and paid for it in a few years.”
-Caleb Hudson
“My father is special because he sings spontaneously.”
I wonder what my son will say about me someday. I wonder what he’ll say to his friends, when he really tells the truth. It reminds me of the story of 3 boys in a schoolyard who were bragging about who had the better father. The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $100.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song and they give him $1,000.”
The third boy says, “My Dad is even better than that. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 6 or 8 men just to collect all the money!”
Dad’s I hope you realize what a huge difference you make in your child’s life. Lead by example, live a Godly life, keep your anger in check, treat your wife like a queen and your little girl like a princess. Take her out on dates, show her how a man should treat her, so she’ll accept nothing less than what her daddy showed her. Teach your boys to be men, men that are faithful to their wives, who love them and respect them. Men who will love their kids and make time for them, so they will never wonder how much their daddy loves them. Teach your kids to love God, and make Him top priority in every circumstance. And you can be sure that it will return to you a thousand fold.
There is another quality of Super Dad’s that every man here who loves God and loves his family has attain. This quality is just as important and will prove to make a monumental difference in your relationship with your children and in your children’s lives. This isn’t something that will just affect you or your kids. It is something that you impress upon your children and they impress it upon their children and so on and so on. And that quality is this: A Super Dad shows Love No Matter What!
Now some guys are thinking I do “love” my kids, but how do you expect me to show love when they spill juice all over the brand new white carpet! How do I show love when they paint my lawnmower a new color, or when they wreck my car? Let me first tell you what I don’t mean by love no matter what, I was in Wal Mart the other day in Charleston, and there was a child that was SCREAMING as loud as possible in the checkout line because he wanted a candy bar and his dad wouldn’t buy it for him. I actually first heard it when I was at the back of the store, and by the time I made it to the front, he was still screaming about it.
So what did his dad do? He bought him the candy bar. That is NOT what I mean by love no matter what. There has to be room for discipline. If you don’t discipline your kids dad, your teaching them that they can have whatever they want. And when they get older that translates into I can DO whatever I want. What I mean is that you love no matter what. When your son fails a test, you still love him. When your kid breaks a window, you still love him. When your teenage daughter comes home pregnant, you still love her. When you find drugs in your sons room, you still love him. In fact, most of the time the reasons that kids turn to such drastic things is because when they were young, dad jumped to anger or just didn’t care at all! Either way if you jump to anger dads, or if you just don’t care at all to discipline them, your kids feel like you don’t love them.
A Super Dad Loves No Matter What, he’s slow to anger and quick to forgive. When I think of this aspect of a Godly Father, I remember the parable of the prodigal son. Jesus told the story of a son who asked his father for his inheritance early so that he could go and live it up. Pretty soon he found himself out of friends, out of money and eating out of a pig trough, and he goes home to his dad hoping maybe his dad will just let him have a job on the farm, and his dad welcomes him back home and throws a big meal and celebration for him because he was so overjoyed to see that his son had come home.
So dads, when your child does something wrong, and discipline is needed, remember that a super dad loves no matter what. Ephesians 6:4 says, “And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.”
As fathers, we have a huge responsibility to our kids, to raise them in Christ and to discipline them so that they will know right from wrong, and chose what is right. But too often dads can take that too far, and punish their children too much. Growing up, I had a friend whose father really rode him way too hard. He was a good kid, but his dad just sat on him all the time. I remember one time in particular, we were playing some silly game and were laughing and running around and his dad came over and grabbed my friend by the arm and got in his face and said, “Quit acting like a fool, you need to cut it out and do something productive.”
That friend of mine today, doesn’t even try anymore. He has no goals, no aspirations because his father just snuffed all the childlike energy and excitement right out of him. Colossians 3:21 tell us, “Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.” It may be difficult, especially for dads that were raised with a firm hand and no nonsense, but sometimes you have to let kids be kids and don’t ruin that childlike innocence and intensity in their lives. Remember dads that Jesus said when he was asked “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child over to him and said, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Do you know what Jesus meant by that? He was saying that we have to be like kids. Kids forgive quickly, they are full of energy, they don’t waste time on sinful things that hurt them, they just look for ways to enjoy life and to please their parents. We have to be like that to humble ourselves and honor God. And dads the way to instill and encourage that in your children is to love them no matter what.
I want to share with you what people in this church have said about their fathers, and how their dads love for them has impacted and shaped their lives.
-Mike House
“My Father is special because of his Faith in Christ. He had so much love for his family that he chose to be with God. It was his choice to end his dialysis and to go to Christ.”
-Emily Little
“My dad supports me in everything I do.”
-Norma Jean Moore
“My Father is special because he always made me feel he loved me best, even though my brother and sister both believed he loved each of them best. My dad worked hard for a living but he always had time to paint the church or mow the church yard. Every night he would get on his knees by their bed to pray with my mom.
-David Thompson
“My dad is special because he’s nice, very very nice. He cares for me and my family.
-Tom Blagg
“My Father always planned to have all the family gather at meal times to be together.”
-Gavin Coombe
“My dad is special because he got me a lawn mower from my uncle Tom so I could ride it around the yard. And because he goes to my games.”
-Billie Connelly
“My father is special because there was nothing I couldn’t of asked him and he was so well liked.”
One of the Edwards girls said
“My dad is special because he is an artist and he helps me in sports.”
Jarod Smith
“My dad is special because he always wrestles and plays with me. He is also special because he takes days off to play with me and he gets to hug and kiss my mom.”
I think that last one is my favorite! Men the way that you love your kids and how you show really makes all the difference in the world. God has blessed us with the opportunity to have fathers and to be fathers. I hope that this morning you have been encouraged to go the distance and do all it takes to become a “Super Dad!” In closing I would like to leave our wives with a Fathers Day Top Ten list to keep in mind. These are the top ten things that dads have been dying to say for years now:
#10 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#9 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#8 Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#7 “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#6 Check your oil! Please, check your oil!
#5 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.
#4 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#3 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#
2 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we…
