There is a difference between a mother and a mom.
I realize today is called Mothers’ Day, but I really believe we should understand it and celebrate it more as Moms’ Day. The truth is, every mother should be appreciated for the fact that she allowed a child within her to be carried to the point of physical birth. However, it’s a much greater feat to be a mom than a mother.
There are many women who have never biologically given birth to a child who, nonetheless, have been moms to many. In fact, most of us, perhaps all of us, have been "mommed" or "grandmommed" by some wonderful women in our lives.
I believe that the moms of this world are those worthy of honor today. So today, moms, we say thank you. And we want you to know that we appreciate all your hard work in helping "raise" us.
In doing so, we need to come to a general understanding of what makes a great mom, a godly woman.
*ILL>Recently Becky showed me an interesting article someone e-mailed her...
These are the questions a group of 2nd graders were asked, followed by their insightful answers:
>Why did God make mothers?
--She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
--Mostly to clean the house.
--To help us out of there when we were getting born.
>How did God make mothers?
--He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
--Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
--God made my mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.
>What ingredients are mothers made of?
--God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and then He adds one dab of mean.
--They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
>Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
--Duh. We’re related.
--God knew she would like me a lot more than other people’s moms would like me.
>What kind of little girl was your mom?
My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
--I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be that she was probably pretty bossy.
--They say she used to be nice.
>What did your mom need to know about your dad before she married him?
--His last name.
--She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
>Why did your mom marry your dad?
--My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world, and my mom eats a lot.
--She got too old to do anything else with him.
My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
>Who’s the boss at your house?
--Mom doesn’t want to be the boss, but she has to be because dad’s such a goof ball.
--Mom. You can tell by the room inspections. She sees the stuff under the bed.
--I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
>What’s the difference between moms and dads?
--Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just go to work and work at work.
--Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
--Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
--Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
>What does your mom do in her spare time?
--Mothers don’t do spare time.
--To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
>What would it take to make your mom perfect?
--On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
--Diet. You know, like her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.
>If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
--She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
--I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
--I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Well, our attention today is on what the characteristics are of a godly woman, and for the answer to that question, we turn our attention to an authority higher than 2nd graders: we’re going to look at the description of a godly woman found in Proverbs 31:7-31.
As you turn to that passage, let me say I’m honored to be surrounded by so many godly ladies in this place today, and I’ve been so very blessed personally in that God has brought into my life a godly mom, godly grandmothers, a godly wife, and a godly daughter.
Today, I want us to look at seven characteristics of a godly woman, as seen in Proverbs, and then three ways we should respond to the godly women God brings across our path.
A GODLY WOMAN IS A WOMAN WHO...
1) MAKES A PRIORITY OF HER FAITH.
*Prov.31:30 -- Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, (but) a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
It’s pretty simple, really: you can’t be a godly woman and leave God out of your life.
When mom’s faith is the priority in her life that it should be, it will affect how she thinks, acts, treats others, and it will have an affect on the lives and attitudes of her children also.
*ILL>When Robert Ingersoll, the notorious skeptic, was in his heyday, two college students went to hear him lecture. As they walked down the street after the lecture, one of the two said to the other, "Well, I guess Ingersoll knocked the props out from under Christianity, didn’t he?" The other sudent replied, "No, I don’t think he did. You see, Ingersoll did not explain my mother’s life, and until he can explain my mother’s life I will stand by my mother’s God."
2) IS A MODEL OF PURITY AND DIGNITY.
*Prov.31:22 -- She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
*Prov.11:22 -- (As) a ring of gold in a swine’s snout (so is) a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
>Note: She makes coverings for herself. She covers herself with clothing, she isn’t exposing herself to the public, she covers her body with modest attire.
Which would you prefer? Having a mom that dresses provocatively, always attempting to attract the eye of men in whatever room she enters, even where her husband is present, OR a mom who focuses on the inner beauty of moral character, self-respect and self-assurance?
>Note also: It doesn’t mean she dresses in rags, either. The verse tells us that she dresses in fine linen and purple.
In other words, she deliberately dresses stylishly, but modestly, demonstrating self-respect and dignity in how she presents herself. So, she’s careful to select clothing that is stylish, but if the latest style is indecent or immodest, then she isn’t going to compromise her convictions. Instead, she will seek and wear fashionable attire that still allows her to dress modestly and reveal an inner character that glorifies God rather than an outside exposure of her body, revealing that which should only be seen by her husband.
3) DILIGENTLY PLANS AND PREPARES FOR THE FUTURE.
*Prov.31:16 -- She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
<>She plans her work.
*Prov.31:16 -- ...she plants a vineyard.
Planting a vineyard is a picture of looking ahead, looking to when the vineyard produces fruit.
<>She sees that her family is prepared for the future.
*Prov.31:21 -- She is not afraid of the snow for her household, fro all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Think about it: when do you suppose she purchased or made the scarlet clothing for her family? Do you think she waited for it to snow first and then made it? No, of course not. She planned ahead so her family would be prepared for the future.
*ILL>I’m reminded of the truth that it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. Preparing and planning are parts of the work at hand.
<>She understands that her job as a mom involves preparing her children to face life’s challenges.
*Prov.22:6 -- Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
*ILL>I’m reminded of the quote by former Dallas Cowboys coach, Tom Landy: In some ways I find my job like that of a mother with her children, because my job of a football coach is to make men do what they don’t want to do, in order to achieve what they’ve always wanted to be.
Mom’s goal is to prepare and provide an environment that allows her children to flourish and grow to their full potential in becoming the persons God created them to be.
4) IS PRODUCTIVE AND HARD-WORKING.
*Prov.31:18 -- She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night.
<>She knows that hers is not an 8-5 job, but one that requires "as many hours as needed."
*Prov.31:15 -- She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
*ILL>I’m reminded of the story told recently of two boys. One was a 4-year old and his older brother was a 6-year old. They presented their mom with a house plant. They had used their own money to buy it, and mom was thrilled. The older boy, however, with a sad face, came and told his mom, "Mom, there was a bouquet of flowers at the flower shop we really wanted to give you. It was real pretty, but it was too expensive. It had a ribbon on it that said, ’Rest In Peace,’ and we thought it would be just perfect, since you are always asking for a little peace so you can rest."
<>She contributes to the financial standing of her family.
*Prov.31:24 -- She makes linen garments and sells (them), and supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Yes, it may be that the way she contributes is by staying home with the kids and saving day care expenses, but she might also have an income of her own, even working outside the home.
For too long there has been a viewpoint preached and advocated from pulpits and pens that says a truly godly woman would always be a stay-home mom, maybe home schooling her children in the process, and never working outside the home. And, that certainly is an acceptable and admirable decision.
In fact, there was a study done years ago, that revealed (if you make the adjustments into today’s dollars from when the study was done) that if you were to pay someone to come in from the outside and do all the work a stay-home mom does around the house (cooking, cleaning, day care teaching, transportation, washing, ironing, doing the dishes, etc.), the stay home mom would be "earning" (or saving, if you’d like) around $60,000 a year in today’s dollars. Mom, you’re gonna have to have a pretty well-paying job outside the home to match that.
However, this passage in Proverbs 31 is the most widely-accepted model of a godly woman ever, and the woman being described here has a business of her own! Her business (making and selling linen garments) requires her to go to the public marketplace and sell her goods. It also requires of her that she go and purchase a field with her OWN EARNINGS.
So, mom, it’s not a sin to work outside the home. And, preachers, if you’re still spewing out the guilt-inspiring nonsense that tells her she must stay at home, you should be ashamed of yourselves. What you should do is rightly divide the Word of truth, rather than rant on about your own personal agendas.
<>Now, with all of that said, there are two keys to understand, however, when it comes to a right understanding of what’s meant by mom being a hard worker and being productive, and contributing to the financial standing of her family:
a) She must do what she does without ever neglecting the needs of her family.
*Prov.31:27a -- She looks well to the ways of her household...
b) She doesn’t spend her time sitting around being lazy.
*Prov.31:27b -- ...and does not eat the bread of idleness.
She isn’t yackin’ on the phone all day, she isn’t watching soap operas or Hollywood gossip shows.
--You see, that’s not the picture of a godly woman...that’s a lazy woman. A godly woman is not lazy.
5) REMAINS PHYSICALLY HEALTHY.
*Prov.31:17 -- She girds herself (her loins) with strength, and makes her arms strong.
With all the responsibilities a mom has, it’s not an easy task to maintain the discipline of good health, but it is important..and evident in a godly woman.
There is a difference, however, between following every trend, spending thousands of dollars on tummy tucks or collagen shots, etc., versus staying healthy and fit.
*ILL>Erma Bombeck was once asked by one of her daughters as to the secret of Erma’s continued health. Ermas reply: I never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
*ILL>Similarly, Mark Twain once advised: Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint.
*ILL>Again, Twain explained: The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
A godly woman not only sees to it that her family eats healthy food, she takes care of her own body also because she wants to be around to help her children into adulthood, and she wants to be obedient to the Lord in taking care of the temple of her body He has given her.
6) SHOWS PITY AND KINDNESS.
*Prov.31:20 -- She extends her hand (palm) to the poor, and she stretches our hands to the needy.
*ILL>Yesterday, our ladies gathered together and worked on a project they decided upon. They made beautiful blankets for the newborn infants born at Del Webb Hospital to needy moms. Moms who normally would not have been able to provide their child with nice things will now be able to bring their newborn home with a beautiful blanket prepared by the ladies of Desert Springs.
Why did our ladies do that? Why do you suppose they chose that particular project to do? They did it because they’re godly women. Godly women have hearts that extend beyond the needs of their own children, hearts of compassion that look for ways they can help everyone’s chldren, regardless of how young or old that child is.
>Note the phrase in verse 20 -- she extends her hand (palm). -- This is the picture of the lady’s hand opening up so that whatever coins or supplies she’s holding in her hands is no longer grasped by her, but made available to the poor.
>But then there’s a second phrase in the verse -- she stretches out her hands to the needy. -- This time it’s a picture of her arms being opened wide, so her hands are stretched as far from each other as they can be. It’s the picture of someone getting ready to extend a giant hug or embrace to someone in need of a hug or embrace.
A godly woman gives of herself to those who are in need, offering more than just money. Sometimes what is needed, and what she offers, is a hug, sometimes it’s a word of encouragement, sometimes it requires being ready to be of whatever assistance she can provide, both tangible and also the intangibles so needed in times of great need or crisis.
*ILL>I’m reminded of the story Cassie Stinnett tells of her mother’s heart for those in need. Here’s how Cassie tells it: My dad had called a Venetian blind repairman to come and pick up a faulty blind in our house, but had failed to inform my mom. So, the next morning, as our family was seated at the breakfast table, the doorbell rang. Mom went to the door, and the man outside said, "I’m here for the Venetian blind." Mom excused herself for a moment, then went to the kitchen and fished out a $5 bill from the food money jar, then came back and pressed it into the repairman’s hand, then gently closed the door and returned to the kitchen table. When she saw the puzzled looks on our faces, she explained her actions by matter-of-factly saying, "Somebody was collecting," then went back to pouring coffee into dad’s empty cup. Only then did dad explain the real reason the man had come to our home.
<>You see, a godly woman takes seriously Jesus’ teaching that how we treat people in need (the least of these ) is how we treat Jesus Himself.
<>Godly women have hearts of compassion. Sometimes that leads them to cry at sad movies because their hearts have joined in in sensing the pain of the characters, or they hurt over pictures of children on milk cartons or weep at the losses people experience after storms or natural disasters wipe out their homes. But they do so because they care. And I thank God that they do.
7) EFFECTIVELY PERSUADES, AND TEACHES TRUTH.
*Prov.31:26 -- She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
*ILL>Dr. G. Campbell Morgan was one of the greatest preachers of all time. He had four sons who also were preachers. One day while Dr. Morgan, his wife, and all their children and grandchildren were together in the living room of Dr. Morgan’s home, a friend of the family came by to visit. This friend, with a twinkle in his eye, asked Howard, one of the Morgan sons, a pointed question (for fun). "Howard, who is the GREATEST preacher in your family?" Howard, who had a great admiration for his father, looked his father straight in the eye as he replied to the friend’s question, stating without a moment’s hesitation, "Mother."
<>A godly woman speaks words of wisdom.
Sometimes it’s due to the wisdom that comes with age. There are some things we learn by experience or by making mistakes that enable us to become wiser as we become older. -- It’s why moms and dads sometimes "see" a problem on the verge of happening before a child even gets close to the problem. In other words, mom used to be a child too, and a teenager, and she made her own mistakes along the way.
But sometimes she speaks from the wisdom that only God can supply: she speaks wisely because she’s studied God’s Word, she’s spent time talking to the Lord in prayer, she’s learned by obeying His principles.
Of course, there’s a difference between being being wise and merely knowledgeable.
*ILL>Concerned that his students were not learning the material being taught in the class, an algebra teacher sent home a note to the parents, asking them to please NOT do any of the homework he had assigned to their children. The next day one of the students turned in a reply from his parents that read, "Dear Mr. Wood, we are flattered that you think we COULD."
You see, wisdom is the ability to move beyond mere knowledge to making real life practical applications of knowledge.
Well, a godly woman is going to make her faith a priority, model purity and dignity, plan and prepare for the future, be productive and hard-working, remain physically healthy, show pity and kindess, and effectively pursuade/teach truth.
But, as we close today I want us to focus on how we should respond to the godly women God brings across our paths.
HOW THE FAMILY OF A GODLY WOMAN SHOULD RESPOND TO HER...
Remember, just like the "money machine on the bank wall"... A - T - M.
A-PPRECIATE HER.
*Prov.31:28-29 -- Her children rise up and bless her; her husband...praises her...
Our appreciation needs to stretch beyond merely being voiced once a year, on Mothers’ Day. We should regularly tell her, and always speak well of her, whether she’s around to hear it or not.
She’s not your "old lady," she’s your mom, or your wife.
She’s not an "old fogey," she has simply experienced stuff you’re just now experiencing, and she’s trying to help you know what’s best for you.
T-RUST HER.
*Prov.31:30 -- Give her the product (fruit) of her hands...
Children, LET her wisdom guide you. LET her hard work and efforts on your behalf empower you.
-- Trust that she has your best interest in mind, and that she is wiser than you are.
Husband, LET her hard work and efforts bring forth the fruit / results she’s been striving for.
-- Trust her judgment in matters that affect her children.
-- Trust her to be faithful to you, to be the help mate you need.
M-AKE HER PROUD OF YOU.
*Prov.31:30 -- ...and let her works praise her in the gates.
Children, let the work she’s done in your home and in preparing you for life be evident in public, in your actions, in your life.
Place your mom’s feelings above those of the crowd who’s trying to get you to do something you know would break your mom’s heart if she heard that you did it.
Make mom proud, remember that she is much more likely to have your best interest at heart than the crowd. And, she’s older than most of the crowd, older and wiser.
BRINGING IT HOME...
Ladies: When you allow the Holy Spirit inside you to empower you, you can demonstrate the godly characteristics the Holy Spirit led the writer of Proverbs 31 to write about. I hope that today you will let Him lead you that way.
For the rest of us: When we appreciate our moms, trust our moms, and make our moms proud, we show that, contrary to the snide impression the movie implied, we mean it in the truest sense of the word when we say of her that she is indeed "Mommy Dearest."
