Father: Guiding Force Of The Family
Text: Gen.18: 19
Intro: It is rather tragic that the position of fatherhood has been much diminished in our present-day culture. Listening to some of the liberal psychologists, one would think that fathers are not really that important to the family unit. And if you’ve caught some of Rosie O’Donnell’s recent comments, you might get the idea that “two mommies” can raise children just as well as a normal family. Forgive me for using the term “normal family.” But I happen to believe that “two mommies” are not just as good as a father and a mother, like God intended children to have.
Granted, just because children have a father doesn’t guarantee they’ll turn out to be star citizens. But let me give you a few facts about our society with reference to the absence of a father.
Children in single-parent families are five times more likely to be poor, and half the single mothers in the United States live below the poverty line.
Children of divorce suffer intense grief, which often lasts for many years. Even as young adults, they are nearly twice as likely to require psychological help.
Children from disrupted families have more academic and behavioral problems at school and are nearly twice as likely to drop out of high school.
Girls in single-parent homes are at a much greater risk for precocious sexuality and are two and a half times more likely to have a child out of wedlock.
Crime and substance abuse are strongly linked to fatherless households. Statistics show that 60 percent of rapists grew up in fatherless homes, as did 72 percent of adolescent murderers, and 70 percent of all long-term prison inmates. In fact, most of the social pathologies disrupting American life today can be traced to fatherlessness.
Charles Colson, How Now Shall We Live, published by Tyndale Publishing House, 1999.
I believe the foregoing facts show that fathers are vitally important to the cohesiveness of the family unit. A father is to be the guiding force of the family. He is to give the family godly direction. That’s what we want to talk about today.
Theme: Fathers give guidance to their families by:
I. FATHERLY COMMANDS
Prov.6: 20 “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:”
A. Command Your Children Concerning Church.
Heb.10: 25a “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Ps.122: 1 “I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord.”
NOTE: [1] Dad, all of your teaching concerning church will accomplish little if you don’t follow it up with action.
The story is told of a man who was making his way across a snow-covered field to a bar. As he neared the bar, he happened to look back and notice that his little boy had followed him across the field by placing his little feet in his dad’s footprints. The little boy looked up and said rather innocently, “See Daddy. I’m following in your footsteps.” With that the man picked up his son and went home to his family.
Source Unknown.
[2] Notice the following statistics:
It has been determined that when both parents are faithful to the Lord and active in the church, 93% of the time their children will remain faithful. When only one parent is faithful and active, 74% of the time the children will remain faithful. When both parents are reasonably faithful, but inactive, 53% of the time the children will be faithful. When both parents attend only occasionally, only 6% of the time will the children remain faithful.
Steve Shepherd, Father’s Day 2001, a sermon found on SermonCentral.com.
B. Command Your Children Concerning The Wrong Crowd.
Prov.1: 10 “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
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15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:”
Prov.28: 17b “…he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.”
I Cor.15: 33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
NOTE: [1] The word “communications” in I Cor.15: 33 actually makes reference to “‘evil companies,’ i.e., associations” (W.E. Vine, M.A., An Expository Dictionary Of New Testament Words, Vol. I, published by Fleming H. Revell Company, Old Tappan, New Jersey; pg. 214).
[2] Dad, one of your responsibilities is to teach your kids some things about life. Teach them things that will benefit them and prepare them for life. Be careful what you teach. Unwittingly, some dads teach the wrong things:
What My Dad Taught Me
--My dad taught me about religion- “You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet!”
--My dad taught me about behavior modification- “Stop acting like your mother!”
--My dad taught me about time travel- “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
--My dad taught me about logic- “Because I said so, that’s why!”
--My dad taught me about the circle of life- “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”
--My dad taught me about the weather- “It looks like a tornado swept through this room!”
Source Unknown.
C. Command Your Children Concerning Compliance.
I Pet.2: 13 “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.”
Eph.6: 1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
NOTE: One of the commands of my father was, “Don’t sass your mother.” And he meant it too. There were a few times we kids found that out. Back up your wives, gentlemen. Don’t permit your children to show her disrespect. And that rule ought to apply to police officers and schoolteachers as well.
II. FATHERLY COMMITMENT
A. Your Children Need To See Your Commitment To Your Heavenly Father.
Joshua 24: 15 “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Deut.6: 5 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”
NOTE: You see men, when you boil it all down, what God was actually saying in Deut.6: 5-7 was that their personal relationship with God was to be a way of life, not merely a matter of words.
B. Your Children Need To See Your Commitment To Your Family.
Eph.5: 25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Eph.6: 4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
I Tim.5: 8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
C. Your Children Need To See Your Commitment To Faithfulness.
Eccl.5: 4 “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.”
I Cor.4: 2 “Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.”
James 5: 12b “…but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.”
III. FATHERLY COMPASSION
Prov.11: 24 “There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty.
25 The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.”
Luke 6: 38 “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into you bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”
NOTE: [1] Dad, though your kids need to be taught the value of money, don’t fall into the habit of giving them the third degree every time they ask for something.
Comedian/entertainer Bill Cosby said of his father, “Now that my father is a grandfather he just can’t wait to give money to my kids. But when I was a kid and I asked him for 50 cents, he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5 a.m. when he was 7 years old, and walked 23 miles to milk 90 cows. And the farmer he worked for had no bucket so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and then walk 8 miles to get a can. And all for 5 cents. The results was, I never got my 50 cents.”
“But now he tells my children every time he comes into the house, ‘Well, let’s see how much money old Granddad has for his wonderful grandkids.’ And the minute they take money out of his hands I call them over to me and I snatch it away from them. BECAUSE THAT IS MY MONEY.”
Bill Cosby, Ed.D.
[2] Men, you can show compassion and generosity in other ways than financial. You can do that by simply giving of your time to others. Charles Swindoll once said of his father:
My dad died last night. He left like he had lived. Quietly. Graciously. With dignity. Without demands or harsh words or even a frown. He surrendered himself into the waiting arms of his Savior. As I stroked his hair from his forehead and kissed him goodbye, a hundred boyhood memories played around in my head.
--When I learned to ride a bike, he was there.
--When I wrestled with the multiplication table, his quick wit erased the hassle.
--When I discovered the adventure of driving a car, he was near, encouraging me.
--When I got my first job (delivering newspapers), he informed me how to increase my subscriptions and win a prize. And it worked!
--When I mentioned a young woman I had fallen in love with, he pulled me aside and talked straight about being responsible for her welfare and happiness.
--When I did a hitch in the Marines, the discipline I had learned from him made the transition easier.
Last night I said goodbye. I’m still trying to believe it.”
Steve Shepherd, Father’s Day 2001, a sermon found on SermonCentral.com.
Theme: Fathers give guidance to their families by:
I. FATHERLY COMMANDS
II. FATHERLY COMMITMENT
III. FATHERLY COMPASSION
