Fathers are very special people. I personally think we are special partly because we are men. Of course, only men will agree with that. Here are a few examples of why I say that.
If you are a man,
... You’ll never waste time asking for directions
... You can finish all phone calls in less than 30 seconds
... When surfing the TV, you don’t have to stop every time you hear crying
Not long ago, my brother’s wife bought some of those cosmetics you see on TV that are supposed to make you look years younger. After trying it for a few days, she asked my brother if she looked any younger. Now, that is a danger sign for every man, isn’t it?
Well, my brother handled it smoothly. He put the newspaper down and gave her a studied look, and then he said that her hair looked 18, her figure looked 20, and her skin looked 25.
She was so happy, but as she turned to leave the room, he said, “Wait a second, I haven’t added it all up yet!”
Every time my dad used to come near my children, he would offer them money. That irritated me, because when I was a child and asked for money, I would always get a lecture.
He would tell me how, when he was a child, he had to work for any money he got. He said he walked ten miles to milk 100 cows, and because they didn’t have a bucket, he would have to squirt the milk in a glass, carry the glass another mile to put in a jug, then come back and milk another glassful and repeat it until the jug was full. Then he would tell me he did this all while it was snowing!
The bottom line, I never got any money. So, whenever he would give my kids money, after he left I would take it from them. I figured it was mine anyway – I had earned it by listening to all those stories! Of course, I am joking.
I was sitting in a restaurant one day talking to one of my friends, and I told him how I always tried to teach my kids financial responsibility when they were young. I said when my kids lost a tooth, I would go in just before they fell asleep and put a quarter under their pillow. Then, after they fell asleep, I would go in and take the quarter back, then the next morning I would spank them for losing the quarter.
As soon as I told him that, the lady in the next booth started telling me how bad of a father I was, and more! I guess she didn’t have the refined sense of humor I do.
In reality, I love my children. I always have and I always will. They have been a delight in my life, and a blessing from my God. I treasure them and they know it.
It may have been years ago, but I vividly remember when my children were born. Shawn was born in 1972, in Xenia, Ohio, and Kimberly was born in 1975 in Mesa, Arizona. When Shawn was born, I had to call long distance to let his maternal grandparents know about his arrival. I was so nervous that I referred to my son as “she” several times before they brought it to my attention.
When Kimberly was born, the doctor told me that she had jaundice. I knew what jaundice was, but I was so nervous that I remember asking the doctor what he did wrong!
Like most men, I tend to act like I can handle just about anything with ease and confidence, but let something happen that is really important, like my kids being born, and I crumble into nervousness. Maybe we men are not as strong as we normally like to portray.
I am reminded of the story of three men who were in the waiting room while their wives were giving birth. The nurse came in and told the first man that his wife had given birth to twins. He was thrilled, because he said he worked for the Minnesota Twins.
The nurse came back in a little while later and told the second man that his wife had just given birth to triplets. He, too, was happy because he said he worked for 3M Company.
Later, when the nurse came back in, the third man fainted! Later, they found out that he worked for 7-11 Company.
And today we celebrate our fathers. It is your day. This is your day to go home and take a nap while dinner is being cooked, or to sit back and look at your children and marvel at how God trusted you enough to take care of these little ones for a season of their lives. This day is for you fathers.
There is a story in LUKE 15 that Jesus told about fatherhood. I am going to go over it with you this morning.
LUKE 15:20
‘While the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt sorry for his son. So the father ran to him and hugged and kissed him.’
Jesus told a story of how a rich man had two sons. One son was content to help his father until his father passed away and then inherit his portion of the estate. The other son, however, wanted his portion of the estate immediately.
He goes on to tell how the father gave it to him, and how the son went into the city and squandered it all on a good time. He ended up broke and hungry; working in a pig sty just to have food enough to eat.
Jesus tells how the boy finally came to his senses and decided to go home and apologize to his father, and see if his father would still love him enough to let him work on the farm as a hired hand.
I don’t know if we fully realize what all this verse says. It says the father saw the boy while he was still a long way off. That tells us that the father had a loving heart for his son. He stood watch for his son, always hoping to see him come home where he belonged.
It says that when he saw him, the father ran to him and hugged and kissed him. In those days, the leader of the clan would never show such earthly emotion. (Kind of sounds like many Christians in church today, doesn’t it?)
The father would normally have waited on the son to come to him, and then he would have been properly aloof. But in this verse, the father loved and missed his son so much, he ran to him and when he got there, he hugged and kissed his son.
Many say that this father represents God, and the love he had for his son represents the love God has for us when we finally come back to Him through Jesus. They say that God has been waiting all this time, wanting us to return to Him, and when He sees us coming, He rejoices with the angels in Heaven. Today, we are illustrating this story to show how fathers love their children, and are always there for them.
Here are some chilling statistics about the influence our world has over our kids:
There are 168 hours in every week. How does you child spend them? The public school system has your children at least 35 hours a week. The TV, which is produced by the worldly but not Godly, has your child’s attention for about 43 hours a week. Games, which are produced by the same people, have your child for another 22 hours a week ... but the average dad only spends seven and a half minutes a week with his children in one-on-one time.
It would seem that with all these figures, fatherhood is headed either for a glorious revival or a gory demise. I know that statistics and percentages indicate a general directions of things, and I agree that family life in general in this world today is having its hardest time ever, but I also believe in the power and capability of a loving God; of a faithful God; of our Father, who happens to be God.
As we focus on fathers this morning, I am going to use a passage in Scripture to explain what being a father is really all about.
F – FORGIVING
In verse 22, the father tells his servants –
‘Hurry! Bring the best clothes and put them on him. Also, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.’
The father was forgiving. The son had turned his back on his father, yet the father loved him enough to forgive him. He ordered the very best clothes they had to be put on the young boy, and to put sandals on his feet, along with a ring on his finger. The father wanted the boy to be welcomed back in style; in love; in forgiving grace.
That is what our Heavenly Father wants to do for us. He wants us to come back to Him, and when we do, He will welcome us back with the love that hugs and kisses are made of, and He will bless our eternal soul with all the finest things He has to offer.
There are too many times when we men live up to our earthly image. We are very slow to forgive. We are even slower to let loose of the anger in when we feel someone has wronged us. This son wronged his father, but his father quickly forgave. His father treasured the relationship more than he did his earthly pride.
God wants us to value relationships and to make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a hurt or a conflict. In fact, Christ urged us to go even further. He said, “Blessed are the peace-makers.” Making peace is something we have to do. It is an act we initiate.
The first thing to notice about good fathering is that it starts with being forgiving. No matter what the age of your child, or how long ago it was that you child did something they should not have done, they need to hear from your lips that you forgive them and that you still love and care for them.
A – AVAILABLE
In verse 31, the father tells the brother who stayed home;
‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.’
It was unheard of for any son, especially the younger one, to come and ask for his inheritance in advance. But the fact that he did so tells us that he had a close and open relationship with his father to begin with. The father could have legally disowned his son and refused him any inheritance at all, but he didn’t.
I believe this father had the kind of relationship with his sons that only an available father could have. And when he says to the eldest son, ‘You are always with me,’ that shows he was available for his son. When we become fathers, we should become focused on the child God has so graciously given us to watch out over.
Charles Adams was the United States ambassador to England under Abe Lincoln. He was in the habit of keeping a daily dairy. He also taught his 8-year old son Brooks, to do the same. One day, Mr. Adams took his son fishing. In his journal, the son wrote, “Went fishing with my father today, it was the most glorious day of my life.” For the next 40 years, he used that experience to tell people how beautiful life can be.
His father’s dairy showed the fishing trip, too. The father wrote, “Went fishing with my son. It was a wasted day.” I wonder if this man ever knew just how impacting this day was on his son. I wonder if this man was ever able to focus his heart on somebody other than himself. And I pray that the son never found out about how the father felt.
It has been said that fathers and children should always measure time, not by the clock, but by the hours they spend with each other.
T—TENDER
Verse 20 tells us how the father felt towards the wayward son.
‘While the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt sorry for his son.’
If no other message comes from this story, we should see the tenderness of the father towards his son. Tenderness isn’t something men are generally known for, but it is so important that we should feel it, that Jesus makes it a point to tell us this is how the father felt. Your version of the Bible might read compassion, but the feeling is the same.
While we are on the subject of tenderness, let me tell you something I hope you already know. It is prevalent in our society for men to act as if they have no feelings. We have to be rough and tough, and act like nothing bothers us. That is what the world wants, but it isn’t what God wants. God wants us to feel great passion with our hearts. I don’t care how old or how young your children are, men, you need to hug them and love them. Take your son of daughter out to dinner – just the two of you. You will never realize just how important it is to them. That is one moment they will cherish for the rest of their lives.
Call them some night, just to tell them there is no reason you called except to let them know you were thinking about them. You will never know how many hurts and disappointments that will cover up. You will never know how much that will do for your relationship with your children.
H – HUMBLE
Verse 28 shows that the father didn’t just favor the youngest son.
‘The older son was angry and would not go in to the feast. So his father went out and begged him to come in.’
Now, let’s be honest. If we had two kids, and one had stayed home to help us around the house, but the other left the way this younger son did, how would we react if he came home broke? Most of us would not have lavished all kinds of love, forgiveness, and blessings upon the wayward kid, would we?
But there is something else we would not do either.
If the child that stayed home got mad and went outside, wanting nothing to do with the party, what would we do? Very few of us would go out and humbly beg him to come back in and be a part of the family. But this father went outside, and with a heart full of loving humility, begged him to come back inside. But that is the difference between a good father and a great father.
Leonard Bernstein, the conductor of the New York Philharmonic said once that the most difficult instrument to play was second fiddle. But to be a loving father, we have to play second fiddle, don’t we? We have to make sure the focus is on what is best for our children – and not on us.
But second fiddle isn’t so bad, really. You have to have a second fiddle or you don’t have any harmony. A great father will be willing to eat a little humble pie occasionally so they can play second fiddle – for the sake of their children.
E - EXAMPLE
Verse 31 tells us the father is also fair.
’Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.’
The father went outside and was talking to the pouting son. He told him not to worry because everything he had belonged to him. The father had already given the young boy’s half to him, and he is sticking by the rules. The other half, or everything else the father owns belongs to the oldest boy, the one who stayed.
But that does not mean he didn’t love the other boy. He loved both sons with his entire heart. And he was willing to show that love in all he did, but he was also setting an example of fairness and honesty. The rules had already been written when the younger boy wanted his half up front. The father gave it to him, but that was it. The other half belonged to the older brother, and to the older brother it would go.
I think the lesson would be to have less “Do as I say” in our homes and more “Do as I do” in our homes. We need to show our families that we are men of integrity. What we say one moment still applies in the next moment. We need to be more of an example than many of us have been in the past.
Mickey Mantle’s great baseball career ended because of personal problems and alcoholism. During the last years of his life, he was plagued by the many problems he had in his life and the toll those problems took on him. In an interview shortly before his death, he said God had given him everything, but he had squandered it all. Then, with tears in his eyes, and a voice that trembled, he told the kids to not be like him.
Let us be the good example now for our children, so we don’t have to settle for telling them to not be like us.
R - RIGHTEOUS
Verse 21 tells us how righteous the father was. The son said,
‘Father, I have sinned against God and have done wrong to you.’
The “R” in ‘Father’ is probably the most important letter as far as the definitions listed here are concerned. This father had obviously taught his boys to have faith in and believe in God. The son said he had sinned against God, and that shows the father had taught his sons well.
And the seeds he had planted in his younger son finally sprouted and started to grow. The son realized his sinfulness and he had enough inner strength to confess his sins and ask forgiveness.
Here is the sad confession of one father:
"I took my children to school but not to church. I enrolled them in Little League, but not in Sunday school. I showed them how to fish but not to pray. I made the Lord’s Day a holiday, rather than a holy day.
I gave them a color TV, but did not give them a Bible. I handed them the keys to the car but did not teach them about the keys to the kingdom. I taught them how to make a living but failed to show them who they should live for.”
The single most important job a father can do for his children is to show them how to walk back to God. The single most important task you will ever have is to introduce your children to Jesus. Everything else you do for them will eventually end, but their relationship with Jesus will last for eternity. And the best way to help your children become men and women of faith is to let them see it in you. You need to be the best role model you can be. You need to live your life rightly, or righteously, so that your children can learn to do the same.
Let me give you some really good information to remember.
First, realize there is no perfect father, except our Heavenly Father.
Secondly, we can all be better dads if we will just do the things we need to do. And third, we cannot father alone. That is why we have other dads in our lives; to learn from, and in some cases, teach to.
And being a good father means that you realize you cannot do the job you need to do, without the woman in your life helping you do it as well as it can be done. Your greatest work is not building a business, or even a ministry. Your greatest work is building a Christian child.
I don’t want to be remembered by my kids for the sermons I have written. I want them to remember the Jesus they saw living in me. I want them to remember the things I did for them and how I taught them, so they can do the same things and teach the same things to their children as well.
But I will only be able to do these things if I put Jesus first in their lives. And I will only be able to do that if I put Jesus first in my life.
INVITATION
