THE BIBLICAL FAMILY: Raising 5-12 Year olds
Main Goal: Godly Character
Titus 2:11-13
INTRODUCTION:
A. If you were here last Sunday night you remember that our main focus in those early years of our children (0-5 years old) was to teach them to know that they are under authority.
1. As children under the authority they are to honor and obey their parents in the Lord, in all things
2. In so doing, there would be the rewards of things going well for them and long life.
B. As they move out of the home and into a more public arena – such as school, they will begin to come into contact with many more things and situations than simple obedience can give them guidance for.
1. Some parents will try to be the “answer man” in their child’s life by setting up a complex and never ending set of rules – but this is not the solution
- Tedd Tripp writes in Shepherding a Child’s Heart, “The problem with this approach, of course, is that it is impossible to make rules comprehensive enough to anticipate every need for direction. In addition, the adult mind is not clever enough to make rules that the child’s mind cannot circumvent.”
2. Situations will abound that have no one to say do or don’t.
3. So children must be taught to make decisions, for themselves, so to speak.
4. How do we teach them to make good decisions? – we teach and build within them good character, allowing the Spirit filled conscience to guide them accordingly.
C. I would like to read for your hearing Titus 2:11-13 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, [12] Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; [13] Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;
1. In order to raise children who possess godly character one ingredient is of the up most necessity – grace!
2. As I have been studying to formulate a family ministry plan I have bought a bunch of books and read quit a few of them.
- On my shelf is a book by Dr. Tim KimmelI have not read it yet, but I do like the title: Grace Based Parenting – the verdict is still out on the book but I do love the title!
3. God’s grace needs to be active in our lives (the parents), be seen by our children, and become active in their lives.
D. This evening I want to look at grace and how it produces good character in our children. I want to do this by looking at three key words in association with the word grace:
1. Brings
2. Teaches
3. Looks
May God help us, by His grace, to instill in our children godly character that will take them much further than their elementary school years, that is through life!
PRAY
Let us begin by looking at the first word
I. BRINGS - Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
A. Luke 6:45 gives us an interesting verse. It states A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
1. In context the Lord had been speaking to the people about loving their enemies and criticizing others
2. He told the crowd that before they could look another’s sin they needed to look at their own sin – get it right before working on someone else’s.
3. It is then that this verse comes into play concerning the fruit that is heard, or seen, in another’s life
4. What is said or done is a presentation of where the heart is.
5. So behavior is from the heart and can be broken down in to three major parts:
a. The “When” – circumstances in which the behavior occurred
b. The “What” – what was done: the things said or done
c. The “Why” – the internal heart issue that pushed or pulled the specific behavior.
d. The “when & what” are important, but the “why” is of utmost importance (the heart issue – a character issue) and needs to be dealt with
6. And since it is a heart problem, it is the grace of God that is needed to correct it.
B. As you deal with issues in a child’s life you must show him the requirements of God – the law
1. In so doing he will come to understand that he cannot meet such a high standard and that is where grace can be seen so wonderful.
2. If a child is not shown where he falls short of God’s requirements he will not see the need of a Savior and saving grace.
3. The reason for correcting behavior is not just to have a “good kid,” it is to bring the child face to face with the grace of God!
4. Remember “…it is the grace of God that bringeth salvation…”
a. Ephes. 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
b. Ephes. 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
C. Are we a beacon of grace?
1. Are we willing to show our children what grace really is?
2. Are we willing to show them grace in action?
3. Do we point out to them the need of saving grace in their lives?
4. Are we bringing them face to face with the grace that hath appeared unto all men?
5. Ultimately this is where godly character is initially manifested – salvation
Along side of this, and ultimately more significant after salvation, comes the word
II. TEACHES, Titus 2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; There must be teaching at two distinct levels to bring about godly character
A. Denying – teaching what not to do - a willful decision not do
1. Children must be taught they are responsible for their actions – there is no run, hide, cover-up or shift the blame game here!
2. If a child hits his sister he cannot be allowed to stand on the excuse “she made me do it.”
a. Seek out the heart issue - why: he hit his sister because he wanted the toy and she would not give it to him:
1) Ungodliness and worldly lusts: selfishness, lack of love, covetousness;
2) Any or all these things could be the root problem – deal with these and you begin to build godly character.
b. Deal only with the “when and what,” you may change behavior but you will create a hypocrite or Pharisee
c. In the power of the Holy Spirit self-control can be taught – the heart issues can be dealt with
B. Living – teaching them what to do – a willful decision to do something –Now what are they to be taught?
1. To live soberly: the person understands biblical mandates and does not let circumstances or others to dictate what he does.
2. To live righteously: obeying the word of God, knowing how to act according to God’s word as he interacts with others.
3. To live godly: his relationship with God – is there a reverent fear, desire to please God.
4. An Example: You get a call to the principles office:
a. Little Maynard got into a fight after someone called him 4-eyes
b. You ask him why he hit the other boy – his answer “He made fun of me.”
c. Its character building time – talk to him about self control: loving our perceived enemies, patience, humility, anger, grace, understanding
d. Pray with him lifting up good for the other boy, healing for his bloody nose, forgiveness for fighting, etc.
C. These years between 5-12 are the ones to lay all this ground work, Teach them – build in them the foundations of godly character.
There is one last thing
III. LOOKING - Titus 2:13 Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;
A. Begin now to give the child an eternal perspective on his present life.
1. Help him to see that eternity is more important than the present
2. Help him to see that the present is to prepare us for eternity
3. Help him to see that it is better to store up eternal rewards than stack them up here!
- Matthew 6:19-21 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: [20] But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
B. Remember what we said about behavior being a heart issue?
1. If you are teaching your child to live for today – that is were their heart will be and they will do whatever is necessary to get for today.
2. If you help them to set their affections on things above they will learn to live in expectation of eternity
- Col. 3:1-2 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. [2] Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
3. Keep them looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; Heb 12:2
CONCLUSION:
A. As you were listening you are probably thinking – that is an awful big job!
1. And you are right
2. Like anything that is worth doing – raising children takes a lot of time and effort, but it is worth it!
3. Building godly character is a great use of our time, effort, and resources.
B. Let’s focus on the Lord and how He would have us to raise children that would honor Him!
C. And may the grace of God be with us.
