Do any of you dads here feel like you should have a heart to heart talk with your sons or daughters? (Raise your hands).
I wonder how many of us dads here today feel very confident in this area. How many dads would like a good tool to help with this?
Many men are just not big on deep conversation. Oh, we can talk about sports, work, entertainment, news or politics, but love, God and feelings are a bit tougher for some of us. Some subjects we avoid altogether.
I heard about a man whose wife was becoming more and more depressed so he took her to a counselor. After a few minutes the counselor said, “I think I know what is wrong here and what to do about it.” “Great!” said the husband, “What is it?” The counselor stepped over to the wife and gave her a big hug. At first she tensed up, but then she relaxed and smiled and even hugged him back. Then the counselor said, “See, all she needs is some of these and good caring conversation on a regular basis.” The husband said, “Fine, I can bring her here on Tuesdays and Fridays.”
Sometimes we’d like it if someone else could convince our kids of what they need to know so we bring them to Church on Sundays and Wednesdays. But I have some news for you. God gave this job to you.
Men who have very little caring conversation with their wives will probably have little caring conversation with their kids. And vise versa.
This weeks readings were mostly from Proverbs. Here is God’s book of wisdom for family and friends that can build great heart to heart conversation and in depth discussion if we us it together. We just need to gather the family together, turn off the TV and video games and set the clock for 20 minutes for Bible reading, and sharing. For some, at first, it will be the longest 20 minutes of the day. But after it becomes habit an hour will pass and you’ll just be warming up.
Let’s look at today’s scripture reading and text for the lesson: Proverbs 2:1-8
I’d like to stress the points, so I’m putting words in there that are not in the text, but are understood.
There are three sections: the choice, the consequence, and the cause. Each section is led by a different lead off. The choice is led by the words: “If you... The consequence begins with: “then....” The cause begins: “For the Lord…”
2:1 My son, IF YOU receive my words, And IF YOU treasure my commands within you,
2 IF YOU incline your ear to wisdom, And IF YOU apply your heart to understanding;
3 Yes, IF YOU cry out for discernment, And IF YOU lift up your voice for understanding,
4 IF YOU seek her as silver, And IF YOU search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.
6 FOR THE LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 FOR THE LORD stores up sound wisdom for the upright; FOR THE LORD is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
8 FOR THE LORD guards the paths of justice, FOR THE LORD preserves the way of His saints.
We tend to like to shorten things, boil them down. Give it to me as a sound bite. If fact, we boil some things down so much all we have left is the stain in the cup. Summing up can also shallow up the information.
This passage could just say: If you go for wisdom, you’ll find God, and he’ll bless you.
Now that’s what this says, it’s true, but it says more.
Men, how many of us want our wives to hurry up and get to the point when they tell us about their day? We do things like sigh, twirl our finger in the air, or rock back and forth to get her to just SAY IT. We want a sound bite not a book, right?
Proverbs doesn’t rush it. The father here repeats himself over and over driving home the point like a hammer hitting a nail stroke after stroke. Also, if you paid attention, you’ll notice the intensifying aspect of the first part. He moves from listening to applying, to crying out for, to searching. The depth here is like a ladder with lots of rungs taking you higher and higher. It’s a long way, but the view at the top is worth it.
Look again at where he begins. Where do you begin a conversation with your children? How do you start? “My son, if you…” The Proverb writer talks about his sons decisions and where they lead. That’s a good place for us to begin a conversation with our children.
Let’s zoom in on the “if” and see what is going on. What does the word “if” imply? This father is looking into his son’s future, knowing that it will eventually become the past, but he wants to discuss what that will look like. In other words, THINK! Let’s think about this together. This is all about making choices: if you… then… because…
God’s word is saying here, “You have a choice.” By the way, this is a choice you have to decide on. You will either do it, or you won’t. You must choose. God designed us so that we are able to make choices. He ordained it that man can and must choose. We may wish that were not so at times. But it is. STOP AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHOICES AND WHERE THEY LEAD. Your destiny is determined by your choices. Now there are a lot of things you have no choice about. You didn’t choose your parents. You didn’t choose your race. You didn’t choose whether you were male or female. You didn’t choose the DNA that designed your physical features. You didn’t choose how your parents raised you, or where you were born. There are lots of things that you have no choice about. But, and this is really important… are you listening? God ordained it that you have the power to choose that which is most lasting and important in your life. You choose whether or not to look to, listen to, learn from, lean on, and live for Him. Through the words of this father in Proverbs God says, “You choose if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures;
If you do this, you choose wisely! Here in the proverbs the father is instructing his son. He wants the son to take his counsel. As you read the first 9 chapters of Proverbs you hear the heart of the father earnestly, persuasively, passionately, pleadingly, repeatedly, saying it. Over and over you hear it. Son, remember to keep my words and your mother’s instructions!
It looks like this son is at least old enough to get into big trouble. His father warns him about sexual sin, adultery, dangerous friendships, violent crimes, and a host of adult sinful behaviors. The father speaks these words knowing that the son can choose, that the son will choose. And the father can’t choose for the son. The son must choose for himself. Dad can’t make the choice for his son, but he can sure sit down and talk about it.
When was the last time you sat down with each of your children, one on one, and had an in depth talk? Have you told them that they will be on their own and must make the decisions for themselves and that you want them to make the right ones so you are discussing this with them now?
How many parents are here today who wish we could make at least some of the choices for our maturing children? You see your sons or daughters facing life and you know what’s out there. You want the very best for them. You’d actually like to somehow get through to them in such a way that they are protected from the pains and pitfalls, deceptions and dangers before them. Proverbs is a great manual for both parenting and child development into maturity. When we sit down and take a walk and talk about the choices of our children we are practicing Proverbs!
Ok… Here’s the beef, moms and dads. We parents can make our case and say it with all the perfect words and air tight reasoning, but it’s still their choice. And, listen to me now: It is not the one with the best case, but the one they trust the most and believe in who will convince them. We need to start early and stay at it late. We need to pour out our hearts all along the way both to our kids and to our Father in heaven about our kids. He need to live it before them and demand it of them as long as we can. But ultimately, listen to me here, ultimately, it is not up to you, they must choose. They must make the choice… If!
God has all power and is our father but guess what? God ultimately allows us to make the choice of our eternal destiny. God has so honored us that he made us in his image and then ordained that we have the power to choose either go to heaven, or to go to hell. Heaven is a place prepared for those who prepare for it by choosing to follow Jesus Christ. God wants to talk to you about this. He will lay out the whole thing and all the consequences, but he will not make you choose one or the other. That is for you. God is looking for you and me to trust him and his word. In the garden the serpent, Satan opened the door to hell, and on the cross, Jesus Christ opened the door to heaven. But you and I must choose. Jesus was constantly giving people a choice. He said, “If any man come after me… If you would have life… If a man gains the whole world, and loses his own soul, what has he profited? If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
If you have anything against anyone, forgive him, then your Father in heaven will also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Jesus says we have a choice, doesn’t he? Jesus had a choice too. Our heavenly Father chose to send Jesus. And Jesus chose to come. The Father did not force Jesus to sacrifice himself for us. It was his choice. And in order to secure our choice of heaven, Jesus had to struggle with the price. The way of wisdom is not easy, it is best. Jesus prayed, “"Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." And, "Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done."
The “if” of Proverbs 2:1-4 entails sacrifice too! It takes accepting, valuing, listening, applying our hearts, crying out, seeking, effort, diligence, and searching. You’ve got to want it! Why? Because what follows is more than worth it! And, failing leads to a terrible consequence. Listen to Proverbs 5: 11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.
12 You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!
13 I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors.
14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."
And:
21 For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths.
22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.
23 He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.
If you asked anyone in their right mind, “Do you want to be a fool and go to hell, or a wise person and go to heaven?” You know what the answer will be. But there is an “if” that we must do. We must convince ourselves and our children that it is worth it to make the sacrifices of the “if.” God’s wisdom is expensive and knowing God is an unlimited treasure. These God will give to you… if.
The greatest and highest things of life require sacrifice and effort. Listen to what God lays up for the one who will keep the ifs. God’s word promises:
5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.
6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
8 He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints.
Jesus came and set the record straight. He clarified the ultimate ends of our choices. Jesus spoke plainly of eternal life and eternal death. Listen! Don’t trade the diamonds of wisdom and knowledge of God and eternal life for the dust of lust and the vanity of this world and the cheap thrills that fade and leave you ensnared and headed toward hell.
If… you seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, God will not only supply all your earthly needs, he will also super abundantly bestow eternal treasures on you. He will guard your ways and preserve your life. If… you choose Jesus Christ, Then… you will find salvation… and The Lord will… eternally bless you.
