NIV Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Last week we began looking at how we make the good decisions. Every day we make decisions about what we do, where we will go, what we will prioritize, how we will respond to others. In order to make the right decisions we need wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to know what is right and then do it. In the Bible in the book of Proverbs, the author Solomon writes, “Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do (4:7, NLT).” The Bible also tells us that wisdom comes from God and is given by him (2:6),“For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” In order to make the right choice we need to seek God and the wisdom he gives us. As Christians we know the Holy Spirit is the one who gives us wisdom (1 Cor. 12:8) and we are given wisdom not just to help us make good decisions but to know God better, to have a closer walk with him (Eph. 1:17).
In order to gain wisdom and know God better we are exploring the books of Proverbs over the next several weeks. Proverbs is known as one of the books of wisdom in the Bible. Solomon states that the purpose of writing his book is so that we might gain wisdom and discipline and understanding so we can do the right thing; what is right, just, and fair (Prov. 1:2-3). Since Proverbs is somewhat of a hodgepodge of wisdom we will be looking at different themes and how they impact our everyday life such as: dealing with our tongue, money, integrity, hard work.
One of the themes running through Proverbs and the first place we need to look at in growing in wisdom is humility and teachability. God wants to give us wisdom to help us make the right choices in our life but unless we humble ourselves and become teachable God’s wisdom is wasted on us.
In the first eight chapters of Proverbs, Solomon writes to his son, and says over and over again, “listen my son to your father’s instruction and do not neglect your mother’s teaching (1:8).” Or “My son, do not neglect my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart (3:1).” Sounds like a lot of you parents out there, huh? Trying to get your kids to listen to you. Solomon was trying to impart God’s wisdom to his son and to us, but he realizes, just as we do, that it is completely useless if it goes in one ear and out the other, which is what is happening if we fail to put it into practice.
In the book of wisdom in the New Testament, written by Jesus’ brother James it says it this way.
“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” James 1:22, NIV
Being humble and teachable means we receive God’s Word’s of wisdom, and we put it into practice. Otherwise we are just deceiving ourselves.
Pride Gets in the Way of Humility and Teachability
What usually gets in the way of us failing to listen to God’s wisdom, and to be teachable? Pride.
Our pride can become a great downfall for us. There are different kinds of pride. There is good kind of pride, such as pride for your country. On this Memorial weekend we usually have pride in our country and for those who have sacrificed their lives for our freedom. In the NT, the Apostle Paul frequently shared how proud he was of the churches he was writing to, and how they kept the faith. But the pride we are referring to is the negative kind of pride, the pride which is arrogance, people who are puffed up on themselves. Look how great I am. But before we think we don’t struggle with pride, there is also a more subtle form of pride. It is the pride of self-sufficiency. This kind of pride says “I’m doing just fine on my own,” or “I don’t need help,” “I can make my own decisions just fine.” This kind of pride doesn’t need anything from anybody, including God. This kind of pride reminds me of former Minnesota governor, Jesse Ventura, who said, “Religion is for weak people.” Unfortunately many in our country are guilty of having this prideful attitude which celebrates being independent and self-sufficient, and to be perfectly honest we think we’ve gotten along quite fine this way. But the wisdom of Proverbs reminds us that pride of any kind eventually leads to our downfall.
NIV Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
NIV Proverbs 18:12 Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.
Pride will eventually bring you down because you become short sighted. You think you know what to do, but because you fail to seek the God who knows everything and his wisdom, you will eventually make a bad choice even if you don’t realize it at the time. And you will certainly not be following God’s will, because God only reveals his will to those who seek it. Rather it is the humble who are honored before God, who grow in wisdom because they realize they don’t have all the answers, and they intentionally seek God’s wisdom. They are teachable, and God honors that. You might recall God’s promise that when God’s people humble themselves, pray, and seek His face, turn from their wicked ways, then God will forgive their sin and heal their land (2 Chr. 7:14).
Notice that healing doesn’t come without humility coming first and seeking God’s face.
Now let us shift gears and look at the habits of the humble and teachable according to Proverbs.
Habits of the Humble and Teachable
1) Seek Counsel
NIV Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
NIV Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
The prideful fail to seek counsel and advice because they don’t feel like they need it, whereas the humble realize they don’t have all the answers and they seek advice and counsel from others and particularly from God.
A perfect example of what not to do unfortunately is Solomon’s own son, Rehoboam. This is very ironic since Rehoboam is possibly the very same son whom these Proverbs were originally written for. Solomon was the king of Israel, under his reign it had grown larger than it had ever been or would be afterward. When Solomon died the kingdom of Israel was inherited by his son Rehoboam, and immediately he was faced with a crisis. The people gathered and they complained to Rehoboam that he should he relieve the harsh labor demands and the heavy tax burden his father had placed on the people. Rehoboam asked for three days to make his decision. During those three days Rehoboam started out on the right foot, he wisely sought the advice of his father’s counselors. This was their response:
NIV 1 Kings 12:7 They replied, "If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants."
In other words, they were suggesting he yield to their demands relieving some of their burden to demonstrate that even though he was a king he was also a servant of the people. However Rehoboam wasn’t satisfied with their response so he gathered his young buddies together for their advice, and this was their response:
NIV 1 Kings 12:10 "Tell these people who have said to you, ’Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’-- tell them, ’My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’"
In other words, they suggested he increase their burden just to prove he was in charge and tougher than his dad. Guess which advise Rehoboam heeded? His buddies advice, and he did exactly what they recommended. Do you know what the result was? Ruin! Not long after his decision the people revolted and 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel broke away from Rehoboam’s kingdom to form the northern kingdom which they called Israel while Rehoboam’s kingdom became the nation of Judah, named after the largest of the two remaining tribes. The tribes never came back together again. All because of Rehoboam’s pride and failure to heed the advice of the older, wiser experienced advisors.
Humble, teachable people are willing to seek God’s counsel and the counsel of wise godly people he has placed in our life and we need to put it into practice. We aren’t just giving them lip service. How often do you seek counsel from God, His Word, or wise people before making decisions? If you continually choose to steer out on your own, you are choosing the path of pride rather than humility and God’s wisdom. If you do seek counsel who do you ask? The danger is in being like Rehoboam, and seek out someone who will tell us what we want to hear rather than what we need to hear from godly people.
[Graph from one to ten with 1 being "I don’t need anyone’s help," 5 being I seek counsel only when I am in trouble, and 10 being I always seek counsel and follow it]
2) Receive Constructive Criticism/Correction/Rebuke/Discipline and Learn from It
There is a second habit which people who are humble and teachable do. They accept criticism or correction and learn from it. How many of you have ever been criticized before? We’ve all been criticized or corrected by others. Some kind soul either feels they need to give you “constructive criticism,” or they feel like they need to set you straight, for your own good of course. Which by the way do you know what the difference is between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is? “Constructive criticism is when I criticize you. Destructive criticism is when you criticize me.” Truth be told not everyone gives constructive criticism, sometimes it’s just criticism. When you are criticized, how well do you receive it? Perhaps you are like the pastor in the comic.
[Comic strip with elderly churchgoer saying "Rev...that wasn’t one of your better sermons. Pastor responds "Bill, I am grateful for your constructive criticism." Pastor goes into the office, closes and locks his door, and in exasperation yells, "AUGGHHHH."]
Like the sensitive pastor here, all too often when we are corrected we respond with tears, because we take it personally. I worked hard at that and now someone puts me down. Or perhaps we become angry, “how dare you tell me what to do!” Or we are possibly indifferent, and we just ignore them. Listen to the wisdom from Proverbs 15:31-33 (NLT):
“If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the LORD teaches a person to be wise; humility precedes honor.”
No one likes to be rebuked or criticized, and usually it hurts us, especially if it is said in a mean or unkind way. But before we can dismiss the rebuke we have to ask ourselves if perhaps there is a kernel of truth within it. Perhaps there is something, even if only a little bit, we can learn from this. The wise person is one who is able to humble themselves and listen to a correction or rebuke, determine where the truth is in what they are saying, and admit and correct where they were wrong.
Questions to ask ourselves to determine where if any truth is in the criticism:
• How is criticism given? Was this spoken out of retaliation, in a judgemental spirit, or out of love? Another question to clarify how it was given is:
• When was it given? Public or private. If it was given in public it can probably be ignored because someone truly doing it in love will talk with you behind closed doors.
• Why is it given? Was it given out of hurt or for your benefit?
• Does this person criticize me regularly or is it uncommon? If they do not offer criticism very often we should probably pay attention to what they are saying. On the other hand people who criticize frequently probably just have a critical spirit, and just like to put others down rather than truly help them.
• Is this person usually accurate in their correction? Looking back on previous times they have criticized you, whether you received it or not, were they right? If they have been right in the past perhaps they are right now.
• Are other people saying it too? If this “criticism” is coming from other people as well you might want to consider that it might be true.
• Was the person specific or general just criticizing . Perhaps you need to ask them to be more specific, to get to the real reason. The comic, that wasn’t one of your better sermons is general not specific. That was a weak conclusion, there was no illustrations.
NLT Proverbs 10:17 People who accept correction are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore it will lead others astray.
If we consistently ignore correction we will continue making poor choices and will eventually lead others astray. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10.
[Scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being the person who says, “you know where you can take your criticism,” 5 being “I’ll take that into consideration." The comment is received in grace when in reality you will ignore it. Or 10 where you always receive criticism with grace and learn from it.]
How humble and teachable are you? How can we move toward being 10’s? I could try to tell you to be more humble but that would be a waste of time because we cannot be more humble and teachable on our own, we need God’s help. We must ask God to work on our heart to remove pride and allow us to be open to what he wants to teach us and the paths he wants to direct us. Let us go to a time of prayer asking God to do a work on our heart.
