INTRODUCTION:
A. I am deeply concerned for the family.
1. It is my hope that this session will help you, as parents and teachers to understand how to train up children God’s way.
2. The key is the Word of God and it is to be an essential part of every stage of life, from infancy to adulthood.
a. Use it, and you will have greater success in raising godly children who will in-turn serve the Lord and raise godly children of their own.
b. So let’s get started.
B. Turn if you would to Judges 2:8-11 And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died, being an hundred and ten years old. [9] And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnath-heres, in the mount of Ephraim, on the north side of the hill Gaash. [10] And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel. [11] And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and served Baalim:
1. Did you catch that? Did anything in this passage surprise you?
2. How many generations was it until they forgot God? 10? 5? 3?
3. No – the NEXT!
C. How could that be?
1. The generation that died was the one that had grown up in the wilderness and entered into the promised land.
2. Many of them saw miracle after miracle in the desert.
3. They had seen the miracle of crossing the Jordan and the fall of Jericho.
4. They had seen battle after battle that the Lord had fought for them.
5. They had set up memorials - Joshua 4:5-7 And Joshua said unto them, Pass over before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of Jordan, and take ye up every man of you a stone upon his shoulder, according unto the number of the tribes of the children of Israel: [6] That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones? [7] Then ye shall answer them, That the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it passed over Jordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever.
6. It is their children that knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel!
D. Who’s fault was it? Joshua, the priests, the judges?
1. No. Lets back up and read Joshua 4:6-7, That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones? Then ye shall answer them,…
2. It was the fault of the parents!
3. They failed to speak to their children about the things of God: they did not show them or speak to them about the things God had done, nor were they showing them what the Lord was presently doing.
4. They got caught up in the things of the world and they were acting like the world: religious but worldly!
5. To this Judges 17:6 is insightful. It says In those days there was no king in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own eyes.
E. The Christian family is never more than one generation from extinction - That ought to scare us half to death!
1. You and I must learn from the past as set before us or we are destined to repeat it
2. It is this repeating of failure in the area of parenting I hope to help avert, with this session today.
PRAY
F. I have sat in counseling sessions and had parents crying because their children have gone “astray.”
1. “Pastor I don’t understand why my son has no desire for the things of the Lord.
(Slide # 4)
2. They hold out the passage in Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it, and ask, doesn’t this say that if I train them up in a particular way they will not depart from it when they are old?
3. And I tell them, “Yes, generally speaking, that is what it says. But the question I have for you is, how did you train them up?”
4. I then take them to two important passages of scripture to find out how they have trained them: Deut 6:4-9 & 2 Tim 3:15-17
I. DEUTERONOMY 6:4-9
A. The first of the two passages I want to take you to is found in Deut. 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: [5] And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. [6] And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: [7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. [8] And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. [9] And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
B. From this passage we can see a few things that help us to understand how to make God’s word productive in raising children.
1. The first has to do with our own heart’s love of God. Where is its loyalty?
a. Do we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and might?
b. Each of us need to be very careful in how we answer this question, for it all begins right here - it is indeed the heart of the matter.
1) James 1:8 states that A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (any thing)
2) Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters:… (any master)
3) Matthew 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (any body)
4) Can we honestly say with God as our witness that He is everything to us?
c. How do we express this love of God to our children?
1) Do they see it? Do they hear it? Do they feel it?
2) One of my pet peeves is to hear a parent say, Come on Johnny, we have to go to church. It would be much better to say, Come on Johnny, we have the privilege to go to church this morning.
- Now I know some of you might be thinking “Your just messing around with words.” That is true but words convey meaning: and “have to go” and “privilege to go” convey two very different meanings.
d. Where does our allegiance, our loyalty lie?
2. The second has to do with our heart’s love of God’s word. [6] And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
a. How much of God’s word do you know? Not just in theory, but in memory and placement in the Bible?
b. If you are planning on the church to teach your children all they need to know, it may not fare well for them or you.
c. One reason we need the word of God in our own hearts is that it is the word in our hearts that turn us from sin.
d. I have been amazed at the lack of Bible knowledge in some parents. How do they expect to use God’s word to teach, reprove, correct and instruction if they don’t know it first?
e. I’m afraid we have tried to bluff our way through it, and eventually it catches up to us when little Susie says “Show me.”
f. Parents we need to know God’s word and be able to show our children what God’s word says.
g. But there is more: we need show our love for God’s word by reading it in plain view of our children.
h. We need to express to our children that the Bible is inerrant, infallible, and the only rule for life and faith.
i. And not just in words, but in deed as well.
3. And this leads to the Third thing we can learn from this passage and that is it takes time & effort. [7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
a. That word “diligent” means incisively, in a committed manner
b. We are to teach them, talk of them
c. We are to do that when we are seated in our homes, walking outside, when we are getting up and lying down.
d. Do we get the point – diligently – constantly.
e. Jay Adams says this is the Milieu: where ever life takes you and at every opportunity that avails itself.
4. And finally we are to always have the word of God before us.
a. [8] And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. [9] And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
b. The word needs to be constantly put before ourselves and our children as the standard for life.
1) I know of a couple who had 9 children and while each of them was in the womb they would lie in bed at night and read the word of God or play a tape of the word being read. (You can’t start too early)
2) Another example might be the scripture ABC’s
- When we started teaching our daughter her ABC’s we used flashcards that had the letter on one side and a verse on the other
- Example: A - All have sinned and come short of the glory of God, Rom 3:23. She learned the verse and one day asked what it meant.
- B - Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. Acts 16:31
- And so on
3) Read them the word consistently between the ages of 0-4
- Read it to them from the Bible and not from the story books, such as golden books, or show the pictures from those books and read from the Bible
- We want them to hear and make the connection to God’s Word, not just a story, along the same lines as the Poky Little Puppy.
As you can see this short passage out of Deuteronomy has a lot to say to us as parents in regards to raising our children. And it is this last point from Deuteronomy that leads us to our next text
II. 2 TIMOTHY 3:15-17
A. 2 Tim. 3:15-17 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. [16] All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: [17] That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
B. Here we see three reasons why we need to have the scriptures constantly before us and our children
1. The first is found in verse 15 where Paul told Timothy that is was Holy Scriptures that were able to make one Wise Unto Salvation.
a. You children will not come to know the Lord apart from the scriptures being a part of their life.
b. They need to know that they are sinners (Now I know that is hard to think about when they are all wrapped up in a cute blanket in the hospital, but I guarantee you will not have to wait long to see that sinful spirit show itself.)
1) Romans 3:20 Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.
2) Romans 7:7 What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.
3) Romans 3:19 Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.
c. They need to hear the gospel and know that only Christ and His shed blood can save them.
1) 1 Cor. 1:18 For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
2) 1 Cor. 15:3-4 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; [4] And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
d. And they need to hear it from, not only the preacher, but from you and often.
e. They need to hear the word for it is the word that will instill the faith that is necessary for salvation - Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
2. Secondly, we learn from this passage that the word is necessary if they are to Learn The Ways Of God – note the scriptures are profitable for
a. For Doctrine, or as some translations put it teaching.
1) Doctrine is a systematic teaching of what we believe as Christians – this is OUR responsibility as parents: You say you don’t know doctrine very well? Then you had better get to studying.
2) If you do not teach them what to believe someone else will and it may be the devil!
3) In his book What the Bible Says about Parenting, John MacArthur writes, Children are taught to be what they become. If they have become something other than what the parents hoped for, it is usually because they have simply learned from those who were there to teach them in their parents place.” Harsh – but generally true.
4) Our children need to hear of our God from the earliest years of recollection, they need to hear about sin and man’s sinfulness, God’s love for man and his amazing grace – they need to be taught doctrine by their parent’s words and actions
b. For reproof – as parents, this maybe our greatest downfall.
1) Often when our children do something wrong we tell it is wrong, but how?
- Some may tell them that it is sin and God does not like sin – but is it enough? I would say no!
2) We need to take the time to sit down with them and show them, in God’s word, what God has to say about the problem.
- EXAMPLE: Our children need to see that lying is indeed a sin according to God’s word. Take them to
* Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
* 1 Tim. 1:10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;
* Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying,…
* Rev. 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
3) You may ask, “Do I need to do this with every sin – yes, as soon as possible after the incident.
4) It is important that the child sees and knows that sin is ultimately against God and in disobedience to His word. A word of biblical rebuke will go a long way in accomplishing this.
c. For Correction.
1) Having shown the child that what was done was sin, we must then take it upon ourselves to show them what they should have done – what was right.
- You might ask them how they might have handled the situation differently – but don’t neglect the Word.
2) For instance in the case of lying – what should they have done or do?
- Tell the truth
- Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
3) Our children need to see that God always has the answer to our problems, sinful or otherwise.
4) Hence Proverbs 29:17 exhorts us to Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
d. For instruction in righteousness
1) We need to understand that there are an unlimited number of things that our children need to be taught – instructed in the proper ways
2) This is where we see Deuteronomy 6:4-9 come into play again.
- Your daughter comes home and tells you that they are studying evolution, what do you do?
- Baby, we don’t believe in that stuff, we believe in creation, don’t worry about it.”
- NO. You sit down with her and show her what and why you believe in creation and then as she learns about the “theory” of evolution you help her to see the improbability of it and how it lacks any kind of continuity.
- You say, “I can’t do that,” then you had better get studying.
- I’m a firm believer that if you are not a theologian when you get married you will be by the time you raise children – if you do it well!
3. Third reason why we need to have the scriptures constantly before us and our children is That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. 2 Tim. 3:17
a. The word “perfect” in this verse does not mean without sin, it comes from the Greek word ar-tee-os meaning “fitted,” that is the individual has all that he needs to be what God wants them to be.
b. The phrase “thoroughly furnished” gives emphasis to “perfect”
c. The two together could be rendered that the child of God is fitted to accomplish…
d. Accomplish what “good works.”
e. It is the purpose of the Word to do exactly that!
4. And is that not what you want for your children – that they might be thoroughly furnished unto all good works? YES!
CONCLUSION
A. We Need To Be Fanatical!
1. The word of God is not important for just 13 year olds and up.
2. It’s not just important for 5 year olds and up.
3. It is necessary for all ages!
B. Do Not Abdicate Your Responsibility - John MacArthur writes, One sure way to fill your life with misery is to abdicate the responsibility God has given you as a parent and the steward of the child He has graciously placed into your hands. Conversely, nothing in your life will engender more sheer joy and gladness than bringing up your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
C. Here are some resources for further study
a. Teach Them Diligently, by Lou Priolo .
b. Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp
c. What The Bible Says About Parenting, by John MacArthur
d. Family Foundations Study Bible, Published by Nelson
e. Christian Living in The Home, by Jay Adams
D. May God bless us, our families and our churches as we get back to a solid biblical means of raising our children – with God’s Word!
