Building Relationships - #2
Godly Family Relationships
Colossians 3:18-25
Last week, we embarked upon a journey of understanding relationships and how to build Godly Relationships with everyone that we come into contact with. The first and most important relationship to build is our individual, personal relationship with God. Once that relationship is established, everything else will fall into place. This morning, we take the next step in the line of priorities with our family relationships.
Men and Women are different. We have different thought processes – different ways of doing things – different, different, different. One author penned – “Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars” (Daylight vs. Dark)
You see roses; he sees thorns. You see God vacuuming the sky; he sees God dumping the vacuum bag. You’re planning the next party, and he’s worrying about all the trash the party will make; in fact, he worries about all the trash in the whole world, plus the shortage of water, the national debt, and any number of other serious matters.
BARBARA JOHNSON
If our relationship with God is where it needs to be, everything else will fall into place!
TEXT
I. How to be a Godly Wife
a. Submit to your husband
i. Submission – humble obedience to another’s will
1. Ephesians 5:22-24
a. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
ii. Submission to the husband only comes into play when the wife has totally submitted herself to God.
1. James 4:7
a. Submit yourselves therefore to God.
iii. Submission means to ultimately follow God’s leadership in the marriage. The wife is to ultimately follow the husband’s leadership.
iv. Submission is rarely a problem when both spouses are in a strong relationship with Christ and where each spouse is concerned for the other.
1. What if my husband is not a Christian?
b. Respect Your Husband
i. 1 Peter 3:1-7
1. “A changed life speaks loudly and clearly, and it is often the most effective way to win a family member.” – Life Application
2. Develop inner beauty, rather that being concerned about their outer looks.
3. Live your faith consistently and your family will see Jesus in you
c. Love Your Husband
i. Titus 2:4
1. “Love their husbands, to love their children”
a. Without love, there is no hope for any relationship
Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”
ERICH FROMM (1900–1980)
II. Be a Godly Husband
a. Love your Wife
i. With Sweetness – Colossians 3:19
ii. With Selflessness
1. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. – Ephesians 5:25
a. Sacrificial type of love/Unconditional love
Dogs are quick to show their affection. They never pout, they never bear a grudge. They never run away from home when mistreated. They never complain about their food. They never gripe about the way the house is kept. They are chivalrous and courageous, ready to protect their mistress at the risk of their lives. They love children, and no matter how noisy and boisterous they are, the dog loves every minute of it. In fact, a dog is still competition for a husband. Perhaps if we husbands imitated a few of our dog’s virtues, life with our family might be more amiable.
BILLY GRAHAM
iii. With Service
1. “Men should love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.” – Ephesians 5:28
b. Lead your Wife
i. “The head of everyman is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” – 1 Cor 11:3
1. Principle of leadership in the home
a. Why has things gotten out of whack in today’s world – we’ve gotten out of God’s Divine plan
c. Study your wife
d. Be Gentle to Your Wife
e. Give Honor to your wife
i. 1 Peter 3:7a
1. Dwell with them according to knowledge – Study them
2. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages
a. Words of Affirmation
b. Quality Time
c. Receiving Gifts
d. Acts of Service
e. Physical Touch
f. Leave Parents and cleave to wife
i. Genesis 2:24
1. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
a. Marriage has three basic aspects, given by God
i. Man leaves his parents and in a public act, promises himself to his wife
ii. Man and woman are joined together by taking full responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving the mate above all others,
iii. The two shall become one by a strong intimate and physical bond, which is reserved solely for marriage.
Marital relations today are struggling more than ever. A recent Barna study showed that over 50% of new Christian marriages are not lasting over two years.
More and more young people are . . . too impatient to make the adjustments that marriage inevitably entails. They cannot wait to learn the tolerance that marriage always demands. They don’t have the time to achieve the understanding that never comes quickly. They have not been taught that while love may come suddenly, happiness is a distant goal to which there is no shortcut.
SIDNEY GREENBERG
Dr. James Dobson has “12 Marriage Killers” that are very prevalent for today’s society
1. Over-commitment and Physical Exhaustion
Husbands and wives should constantly guard against overcommitment. Even worthwhile and enjoyable activities become damaging when they consume the last ounce of energy or the remaining free moments in the day.
JAMES C. DOBSON
2. Excessive Debt: Conflict over how money is spent
3. Selfishness
4. Interference from In-Laws
5. Unrealistic Expectations
6. Space Invaders
7. Alcohol or Substance Abuse
8. Addictions
9. Frustration, Loneliness, Low Self-Esteem, and the “Greener Grass” of Infidelity
10. Business Failure
11. Business Success
12. Getting Married too young
For relationships to succeed, God must be the centerpiece. His commands and His word must be followed.
But for a family relationship to work, not only must the Husband and Wife be Godly examples, our children must as well
III. Being a Godly Child
a. Obey Parents
i. Colossians 3:20
ii. Ephesians 6:1
1. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right”
CHILDREN SHOULD OBEY PARENTS:
Immediately
Entirely
Respectfully
b. Honor Parents (Focuses on Attitude)
i. Ephesians 6:2-3
1. “Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
What can we do to build a healthy, Godly relationship at the house?
1. Have a time of devotion each day (morning or evening)
a. Parents display importance of God’s Word – osmosis will take place. Children will see and want to imitate
2. Have a time of prayer (not a simple prayer/but time of crying out to God
3. Communicate with one another
4. Be actively involved in Church.
a. Spiritual Growth of entire family is aided through study and fellowship with fellow followers of Christ Jesus
So, that’s the Word today. Let’s look at our homes – How is what we’ve got going on lining up with God’s plan for our lives?
