The Makings of a Mom
I Samuel 25
5-13-07 a.m. Mother’s Day (PDBC)
Here’s a passage that deals with a woman but doesn’t really address here mothering ways. But as I read this passage I began to admire this woman. I thought if she displayed this type of devotion to a no good rotten drunk (and you’ll understand that in just a moment) then what a mother she must have been.
Her name is Abigail. Abigail was married to…well…a no good rotten drunk. Look at the first 3 versus of Chapter 25.
This was during a time when Saul was trying to kill David and David and his men were hiding where Nabal kept his goats and sheep. When David’s men asked for some food Nabal ridiculed them and denied the request. That made David mad, worried Nabal’s servants and so steps in Abigail and saves the day.
What Abigail Did For The No Good Rotten Husband She Will Certainly Do For Her Child. You see the mother in a woman tends to be consistent in all areas of her life. Let me share with some things Abigail did for her husband that I believe indicate the kind of mother she would have been.
She Was Protective
Abigail protected her husband and he didn’t even know it. Mom’s don’t nod gesture or nudge you husband but have you ever been embarrassed by something you husband has done? Has there ever been a time when you were concerned that he may have done something or said something that could have possibly offended someone so without him knowing you just reached out to that person to in a mending way?
She basically prepared a peace offering and went to meet David in the hopes she would prevent her husbands death. Now don’t get me wrong Abigail did not condone her husband’s actions we’ll see that in just a moment. But if Abigail was Protective of a No Good Rotten Husband How Much More Protective Would She Be of Her Children.
Good Mothers Do All They Can To Protect and Heal. They put on band-aids and kiss boo boo’s. They will attempt to head off danger whenever they can. They give their newborns soft rounded toys. They put safety locks on cabinets, place gates at the stairs ways, monitor TV and video games as well as computer usage.
But now listen…one of the best ways of protecting children is making sure they are introduced and involved in church. I know you’ve heard the passage time and time again. 6 Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Psalm 22:6
My mother never missed a beat. There was a time when my dad resigned from the pastorate when we lived in Illinois that he took to the road performing gospel concerts. It would have been easier for mom not to have to get the four of kids dressed and off to church but she didn’t miss a Sunday. Now she didn’t always cook lunch but we won’t knock her for that. It’s funny because I called mom this week and we were talking about that and she remembered a skit the kids did where my brother Kevin played the Devil which, given his conduct and lifestyle during that time, might have been considered type casting. But that just proves the point. With all the trouble that my brother Kevin was into in life he came back to the things of faith. Moms the most protective thing you’ve done or can do is bring your kids and grandkids up in the way of the Lord.
Abigail was protective as a wife and all of her appeals to David in verses 26-31 were based on her knowledge of the Lord.
She Was Realistic About Their Wrongs
Good Mothers Don’t Hide, deny or ignore their child’s wrongs. Maybe you’re not one of these parents but some think there kids can do no wrong. Come on! Really. Have you so quickly forgotten. People and especially kids want to get away with what they can get away with.
I can’t count how many times I’ve been home with the kids and something breaks, or is left in the middle of the floor for me to step on or trip over, or a light is left on. And would you guess the response I get to the question, “who did it?” You guessed it all four, “Not me”.
Abigail was Realistic about the Wrongs of a No Good Rotten Husband. And you know that makes sense. Moms you don’t do any favors for your children by turning a blind eye to their propensity to act irresponsible. Moms of grown children do it to. One of my dad’s biggest hurdles in his ministry is to get moms to quit enabling their kids. They think by making excuses, giving them money they can help but they only make things worse.
Mothers, be realistic about your kids shortcomings! If you are you’ll have a better chance to show them what’s right and hopefully head off future mistakes. Don’t avoid them, ignore them or turn a blind eye to them hoping things will work out. You’ve sacrificed a lot raising these kids and I think you have a right to give some advice.
She Was Sound in Her Advice
Abigail’s advice to David is saturated with godly wisdom. One thing she does is make reference to his future as king. I don’t know if you noticed but when she said that God would fling his enemies away like stones from a sling David must have been intrigued. David knew all about the sling. That would be like our wives using terms from our hobbies to counsel us. Fisherman wives might say, “don’t worry about that we have bigger fish to fry.” A Golfers wife might say, “A decision like that may land you in the hazard.” A hunter’s wife might say, “Be steady on the trigger you might not get another shot.” A athlete’s wife might say, “That’s bad sportsmanship.” A baseball wife might say, “Don’t swing at junk.” A basketball wife might say, “you’ll be charged with a foul.” A football wife might say, “That would be a penalty of the 15 yard variety.” You get the point…sound advice.
Good Mother’s Seek To Pass Along Sound Advice. Abigail’s character really shinned at this point. Her intelligence and humility won the life of her husband and their servants. She approached David in complete contrast from Nabal. Look at her advice in verse 26-32.
It’s all about being protected by God, not reacting in a rash way, keeping a clear conscience. It probably reminded David of his actions toward Saul. Up to this point David’s had several chances to kill Saul and take the kingship by force. However he determined not to take Saul’s life by his own hand and allow God to deal with him. Did God use Abigail’s sound advice to remind David not to get ahead of God in this matter as well. Possibly.
What Abigail practiced toward her future husband she would certainly practice with her children. Moms this is a great lesson to teach kids when they are young. Don’t react in the moment because you probably react wrongly. Even adults need be reminded of this and I can’t think of a better person to hear it from than from the heart of a loving, caring mom. Just like Abigail tell them what the Lord can and wants to do in their life.
She Was A Compliment To Her Husband
Good Mothers Are A Balance In The Home. This becomes somewhat of a challenge in single parent homes. You don’t get to trade between the good cop and bad cop roles…you have to be both.
Abigail was a good and godly wife both to the no good Nabal and King David. How do we know that? If left to his own devices Nabal would have certainly been killed by David. For some reason that we find it hard to understand sometimes, like Abigail, many women put up with a lot. Why didn’t Abigail just let David rid her of this nuisance of a husband?
Nabal was a no good, stupid, drunk- Abigail says so in vv 25 & 36. Now I’m not insinuating that you men are inconsiderate drunken fools like Nabal but men do have a tendency to react rashly. We push and we aren’t as sensitive toward our kids as mothers are.
I heard a guy out at the ballpark say to two boys who were hit by the pitcher, “If you rub it you’re a sissy.”
Men we need the balance of sensitivity that moms bring to a family. I always know when I say something insensitive to the kids because Amy gives me that look. I couldn’t even teach the kids to ride their bikes without getting frustrated and having to pass off to Amy. Not to mention I am in no shape to run along side of the bike very far.
You see, Abigail isn’t just about the character of a mother but of a godly woman, wife. We’re not told that Abigail had any children with Nabal. They did have servants and Abigail cared enough for them that she was going to do what she could to protect them. She was a good, godly woman. And God had plans for her. It’s unfortunate that we get such a short glimpse of Abigail because I believe she played a huge role as the wife of David.
We know that Nabal eventually died and David’s anger was avenged by God and not by David’s own hand. Just as Abigail had advises. Listen, David was like a lot of men. Had this beautiful and intelligent woman not step in and given godly sound advice David would surely have had the blood, not just of Nabal, but the servants and most likely Abigail his future wife. Now wouldn’t that have been a shame.
We know that God loved David and that God did great things for David and through David. Yet David was impulsive and short tempered. Many times he had to withhold himself from taking a life that would have been so easily taken. Other times God used people like Abigail to reason with David and convince him that matters were better left to God and not made worse by a rash response.
I believe God saw in Abigail one who would complement David and reason with David and balance David’s home and kingdom.
Men I hope you listen to your wives. I know that we sometimes are frustrated with their advice but I also know that it’s mostly because their advice tends to make sense. Mother’s are the glue that holds the family together. The truth is women/mothers are most often the ones who are better grounded in God’s word and are therefore guided by God’s wisdom. Many times the wife/mother finds themselves leading the way in spiritual matters. They are the ones faithful in God’s Word, they are the ones faithful to the church, they are the ones faithful in prayer. Men listen to the advice of your wives they might just save your life. Just ask Nabal. You can even ask David. David listened to his future wife and instead of reacting rashly and harshly due to the stupidity of another he allowed God to deal with the matter.
For what it’s worth I share this story of Abigail, Nabal and David because God helped me see through this situation these characteristics of a godly woman and mom. Abigail did become a mother. Nabal did die and David remembered this intelligent, beautiful woman just as she had requested. He married her and they had a son named Chileab.
I believe as a mom these characteristics we looked at grew stronger. And if we think about these are characteristics that many of us witnesses in our moms. Furthermore, you young moms can take these characteristics of this godly woman and practice them in your family.
Men you’ll now know when you’ve messed up. Your wife will look you in the eye, shrug her sholder and say, “Well, at least your not Nabal.”
Men you would do well this Mother’s Day to say like David,
32“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33 Blessed is your discernment, and blessed are you.
