Dakota Community Church
May 13, 2007
A Hand to Guide Me
A Tribute to My Mother
Many are saddened by this and other holidays because they bring up painful memories and deep longings for what might have been or should have been.
One of the first and toughest lessons we all eventually learn is that life is not fair. Each of us must play the hand that life has dealt us. The Son of God started in a stable, did nothing but give himself for the sake of others, and ultimately surrendered life itself on the cross.
Philippians 4:12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Many of us have to learn to be like Paul where family is concerned. Find contentment in the Lord for an area that is lacking what it should have been. Maybe it’s like that for you with your mom, maybe for the desire to be a mom.
I was blessed with a great mom, my sorrow today springs from the fact that my mom went to be with the Lord nearly ten years ago, and that sorrow is all for myself, I know she is in the great cloud of witnesses waiting for the day when we are all reunited. In fact I wanted to begin by asking the Lord if He would allow her to leave her usual seat by his right hand and come to the front row of the balcony – just for this morning’s message. Today I want to tell you a little bit of what my mother told me.
Proverbs 31:28
Her children arise and call her blessed
My mother was blessed; she was a woman of faith, a gifted teacher, a great friend and confidant. I hope you will all take something from this message, and be blessed by the blessing that she was.
1. Marriage is sacred, and family is a sanctuary.
It takes two to show these things but I don’t like to give my Dad any credit – his head is too big as it is. The truth is I grew up in a really great home environment. It was unreal in many ways, when Ophra says that leave it to beaver doesn’t exist it’s because she never had my life.
I don’t want to give the impression that my mom was perfect or in fact anywhere near perfect. We had our share of scraps, especially during my teenage years – she was particularly stubborn through those years of my life.
Hebrews13:4
Marriage should be honored by all…
All parents fight and I can remember a couple of doozies at our place, but most of the time I had a strong sense that my home was secure, that it would not be broken up, it was a sanctuary from the world. It made me want to give that to my own children. It effected our decision to stop taking in strays. I realize that it may already be too late to accomplish this in some homes, but to whatever degree you have the power to - do it!
Proverbs 24:3-4
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Mom sent me a letter shortly before she went to be with the Lord, in it she told me how awesome we were for taking in so many people and giving them a place to live. She said even if she and dad had become Christians earlier in life she didn’t think they would have been able to do that, to selfish for each others company. Her closing sentence to me was “Dan, take care of Kathy, she’s a real gem, one in a million. Love you all - Mom”
2. Focus on life’s silver linings.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I grew up in a military family which meant moving every two or three years, having no home town, to this day when people ask me where I’m from I don’t know whether I should say Halifax or all over the place. For some kids that life is devastating; they complain about it and need therapy long into adulthood, but for me it was great and the reason it was great is that it was presented to me as great.
So much of parenting is in knowing how to present things. If you are fearful and traumatic the kids will be traumatized, if you are calm and authoritative the kids will be rational.
Mom had a way of making tough situations better by highlighting the positives. When she was battling cancer she told me all about how great the doctors and nurses were being to her, not about the pain or the doubts she was wrestling with.
Once we became Christians it got even stronger. She was like a bulldog on the goodness of God.
I can hear her voice sometimes when things are going wrong and I want to pitch a fit at God, “It doesn’t change the Word Danny.”
Proverbs 24:15-16
Do not lie in wait like an outlaw against a righteous man’s house, do not raid his dwelling place; for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.
I think a part of that silver lining mentality is seen in an unwillingness to quit when the going gets tough, the deep down belief that “though I fall seven times, I will rise again.”
My mom instilled that in me and it has served me well, especially in the years planting this church. If you can do it, if there is time, teach your children to see the good in others, the good in life, even the good in hard times.
We all choose to deal with life’s heartaches in one of two ways, like Naomi who said, call me Mara (Bitter) or like Ruth who said, “Your God will be my God, your people, my people.”
Finally the strongest life lesson I received from my mom was this:
3. Always grow, grow all ways.
Never stop with the milk!
Now my Dad had a hand to play in each of those first two lessons but this one was all Mom.
She instilled in me a love of reading and personal development.
When I ask dad if he is reading his bible he jokes by shaking his head and saying, “No pictures.” Mom was the total opposite of that. She always had a stack of books beside her chair, a habit which I also maintain to the point that Kathy will come in the room and say, “Hey Barb, put your books away for a little while and go mow the lawn.”
1Peter 2:1-2
Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word that you may grow.
2Peter 1:5-8
…make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Quotes:
"The kind of food our minds devour will determine the kind of person we become." John Stott
"We should read to have fellowship with great minds. Through books we hold communion with the greatest spiritual leaders of the ages." Oswald Sanders
Your children need to see you reading. It is not something that works as a philosophy, “Do as I say not as I do type of thing.” You need to do this if you are a parent.
My mom did it and it works, my life is so much richer for having developed this discipline.
Hear it Preached: www.dakotacommunitychurch.ca and click "Listen".
PowerPoint available (Free of charge) on request dcormie@mts.net
