How “Self” Conscious Are You?
Well, we’re on the eve of another new year. How many of you have made New Year’s resolutions in the past? Let me see a show of hands. How many are making resolutions this year? Usually these are about losing a certain number of pounds or starting an exercise program. Sometimes they may involve other disciplines, such as reading your bible each day.
How successful are you at keeping these resolutions for any length of time? For my part, they usually don’t last very long. And if the truth be known, I would guess that yours don’t either.
You might ask yourself, “Why don’t I follow through on these resolutions? Why do I invariably fail?” I believe I have the answer to these questions. The reason we fail is that we rely too much on “self” to succeed. Usually, when discipline is required, and when we must work to get results, self-motivation is usually not enough to keep us motivated to succeed.
Thinking about this problem prompted me to look more closely into the word “self”. There are many, many hyphenated words that begin with self. Some of them appear to have good connotations while others---not so good. And some---well, may be both bad and good.
Some of the apparent good ones:
Self-control, Self-denial, Self-assurance, Self-respect, Self-esteem, Self-effacement
There are plenty of others, but these few will suffice for now.
Some of the bad ones:
Self-righteousness, Self-indulgence, Self-aggrandizement, Self-consciousness,
Self-serving
Some which could be construed as both good and bad:
Self-sufficiency, Self-reliance, Self-preservation
When you look at each of these words, whether you deem them positive or negative, there is a common thread among them---they all rely on self. Webster’s primary definition of Selfish is: “Concerned chiefly or only with one’s self, without regard for the well-being of others”.
So that kind of puts a different light on that list of words, even the so-called good ones.
Is our “self”-control truly control by ourselves, or is there a stronger force at work here. I can’t help but feel that God plays a great part in our self-control, as well as the other “Selfs” –denial, respect, esteem, and the others as well.
How about self-sufficiency? I am sure there are those out there who think “I don’t need anybody. I can take care of anything that comes up. I am in charge.” To prove my point I would suggest that we take this person away from his or her current environment, place him or her in a foreign country away from all their friends, family and culture. How self-sufficient would you be in a country with a different language with no one that you know?
The point I am trying to make is that we really need to de-emphasize the "self"-ishness we all possess.
I would like to give you some examples of the existence of selfishness in our world. I would like to give you the “Toddler Property Laws”. You know what those are. They are what apply when two kids are to share their toys:
If I like it, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a while ago, it’s mine.
If I say it is mine, it’s mine.
If it looks like mine, it’s mine.
If I say I saw it first, it’s mine.
If you’re having fun with it, it’s mine.
If you lay it down, it’s mine.
If it is broken, it’s yours.
And to be fair, that selfishness is not limited to toddlers. In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy of “You might be a redneck if” fame, here is a list of “You might be selfish if”
You might be selfish if:
You have a genuinely difficult time letting someone else have the remote control.
You pick up the last piece of chicken, take a bite out of it, hold it up and say, “Does anybody want this”?
You know all the words to the song “I Did it My Way”.
Your favorite picture at home is the mirror.
You’re having a conversation with a friend and say, “Enough talk about me…let’s talk about what you think of me”.
And Finally, You may be selfish if:
You’re a baby, a toddler, a preadolescent, a teenager, or an adult male or female.
Did I miss anyone?
I attribute the above list to a sermon by Sherm Nichols on Sermon Central.
Our Old-Testament scripture this morning from 1 Chronicles 4:9-10 talks about a man named Jabez. The only place he appears in the bible is in these 2 verses. Yet a man named Bruce Wilkinson wrote a 92 page book about him and this prayer, and believe it or not has sold more than 10 million copies of that book. If you look closely at Jabez’ prayer in verse 10, you will notice some pretty obvious things about it. Let me reread it again.
“Jabez prayed to the God of Israel, "Please do good things for me and give me more land. Stay with me, and don’t let anyone hurt me. Then I won’t have any pain." And God did what Jabez had asked. If you kept count Jabez used the word me or I five times during that prayer. You might ask how Wilkinson filled those 92 pages. One critic said that he must have used a lot of pictures. What do you think of this prayer? Can you agree that it is selfish? But is the prayer inappropriate? Why would God grant such a prayer? The basic theme of the author’s book is that he repeated that prayer verbatim daily for thirty years, and as a result, he has prospered beyond his wildest dreams. He encourages others to do the same and they will also receive great fortune. I guess this is why he sold over 10 million copies.
The question I have is when is it appropriate to pray for self?
Example: I am hungry and have no money for food. I pray to God for a basic meal. Appropriate?—I think so.
Example 2: I am hungry and have no money for food. I pray to God for a bottle of the finest wine to go with my caviar and filet mignon that God is going to provide. Appropriate—Doubtful.
So what I am saying is that it is OK to pray for self if your motivation is honorable. I think that is what the author of the Jabez book was trying to say about the prayer of Jabez. He looked beyond the literal words of the prayer to Jabez motivation and what would be the ultimate result of his receiving all these blessings.
At the beginning of my message I mentioned that self alone is not enough to see us through difficult times. We need something beyond self.
Where does your strength come from? What is it that gets you through the really tough times? When things get to be so bad that you are tempted to throw up your hands and say “I give up!” where do you get the strength to fight that urge and continue the struggle. Our strength comes from three sources. The first I have already talked about. The strength you get from yourself.
The second source of our strength comes from our “Support System”. This support system is made up of several components. First there is your family, followed closely by the members of your church family. Then there are friends and perhaps coworkers. In the scripture that Ron read from Acts 2:41-47 perhaps we are not quite so committed as those early Christians who pooled whatever they owned to meet each other’s needs. But certainly we should emulate them in the spirit of what they were demonstrating—that of the need for mutual worship, sharing, and support.
Here at Long Green 2006 has been a very difficult year for a number of families in our church. Death has directly or indirectly affected all of us. We lost loved ones irrespective of age. Early on Chris Breidenbaugh passed on, followed by our daughter Gayle, Katie Gonzalez, and Gail Hanna’s mother Elizabeth Johnson. Some of those deaths may have been expected, while some were devastating in their suddenness or untimeliness. Yet there was something beyond our “selves” which helped us to get through the overwhelming sadness of loss we suffered. That something was our support systems. I could not have handled the loss of our daughter if it had not been for the strength provided me by my family and you the members of my church. And I think I can speak for the others who lost loved ones that the same is true for them. I cannot imagine being in a position where I did not have the support that you all have given to me through it all.
But there is more to our support system than the support we receive in the tough times. I also believe that there is an accountability issue here. Whenever we stray from the path God would have us go, we need direction from those around us to get us back on track. There are a couple of scriptures I want to read which back up the need for Christian Accountability.
The first is from Galations 6:1-2. “Brothers, if someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
The second example is from Matthew 18: 15-17
"If a believer does something wrong, go, confront him when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won back that believer. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you so that every accusation may be verified by two or three witnesses.
If he ignores these witnesses, tell it to the community of believers.”
How often does this happen? Not very often. Why? Well, we hate confrontation, or we don’t want to offend anyone, or we just don’t want to get involved. But, if we are truly practicing Christians, don’t we have the obligation to take this approach? And if you are the one who has committed the wrong, accept the criticism in the manner it is intended. Do not automatically become defensive. Christian accountability, in my opinion, is an area which is not as strong in the church as in years past. We all need to work on this.
A good example of accountability to others comes from Alcoholics Anonymous. This is a group of men and women who have struggled with addiction and have banded together to watch out for each other. Each person has a sponsor with whom the recovering alcoholic can go for support and strength. There are frequent meetings where all share their experiences. They even have a 12 step program, which you may have heard of, which are essentially a list of rules they live by. Here are a few of them:
1) We admit we are powerless over alcohol—that our lives have become unmanageable.
2) We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
3) Make a decision to turn our will & lives over to the care of God as we understand him.
5) Admit to God, to ourselves, & to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I could go on but I think you see where this is going. These 12 steps are spiritual in nature and we could very well substitute the word “sin” in place of alcohol. So maybe we could take a lesson from these folks and apply a Christian 12 step program in our lives.
Well, I have covered two of the sources of our strength, self and our support systems. The final source is the most important of all. The source of strength we receive from God.
This is also probably the most difficult of all because it is reliant upon our strength of faith. It is less visible and tangible than that of our support system because it is totally a personal relationship which you and I have with God. It is all about prayer and our ability to turn our problems over to God, to admit when we cannot control things ourselves. To basically let go.
The best example I can give of this strength came during the last two years of Gayle’s life. She truly turned everything in her life over to God. She maintained unbelievable strength through all the pain and sacrifice of her struggle with cancer. There were of course brief periods when she was down, but those periods were short and infrequent.
At her funeral service, Mark sang a song which was her favorite and the words of that song epitomized what were her feelings for her God. I would like for you to hear those words again. I have never been able to get through the reading of the words of that song without breaking down, so I have asked Ron if he would read them for me. Ron---.
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I’m with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone, how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I’m with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Thank you Ron. I truly believe Gayle lived out the words to that song as well as anyone could have.
Well, there you have it. The three sources of strength which all Christians possess. As we enter a new year, what lies ahead for us? Certainly, we all hope for a happy, prosperous year, but inevitably, we will experience unpleasant surprises, sadness, fear, uncertainty, and other emotions which will try our strength. We will need to employ all three of the sources of strength I talked about.
Getting back to my original question, Are you making any New Year’s resolutions this year? Well I want you to know that I am. And of course, as usual, my resolutions are to lose a significant amount of weight and become more physically fit. What makes me think I will do any better this year than before? Several things. I was listening to a radio show where they were talking about weight and diet. One person asked “Have you ever seen a fat 90 year old man?” I thought about it and for the life of me, I could not remember ever seeing one. Well, next year I will be entering my 70th year and I think it would be very nice to see 90. So that will be one incentive for me. Some may think that overeating is not really a sin, but gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins and the definition of gluttony is “overeating to excess”. So certainly someone who is at least 60 pounds overweight can be considered guilty of gluttony. So from a pure health of body and mind standpoint, I have plenty of incentive. But the main incentive for me will be the three sources of strength I have discussed. In addition to my desire, I am asking you, my support system to hold me accountable for these resolutions.
To conclude my sermon this morning I would just like to say that in life timing is everything. When I began working on this sermon, I was sort of oblivious to the fact that the Deacon’s were going to begin their Wellness Program at the beginning of the New Year. I know that they were talking about it but it never sank in that it would begin so soon. The intent of my message this morning was to possibly involve others in making life changing resolutions, even to the extent of coming up with our own 12 step program. But as fate would have it, the Deacons have beaten me to it. They already have a “10 step program” which they are ready to implement. How about if we all live according to these 10 steps or 10 Commandments to be Well?
1. Live in the presence of God.
2. Be thankful and share it.
3. Keep the Sabbath and get proper rest.
4. Live “by the sweat of your brow”, and get proper exercise.
5. Simplify your diet; smaller portions, good choices.
6. Live in the present.
7. Forgive and be forgiven.
8. Smile and have a sense of humor.
9. Do something for someone else.
10. Be still each day and pray.
This would be the perfect time for all of us to take the opportunity to work with the Deacons and perhaps be a little more like those Christians that Peter was addressing at Pentecost. Won’t you join me in this effort?
So finally, in addition to my self-motivation, and help from my support system, I intend to pray to God and turn over to Him those things I cannot control. My success or lack of success will become apparent. I ask that you accept the responsibility to help me be successful, whether it be through the Deacons Wellness Program or otherwise. Thank You and Amen.
