It’s All About Who?
The Issue of Selfishness, And How Mothers Teach Us The Right Way To Live
May 8, 2005 1 Samuel 1:19-28
Intro:
A Spanish proverb reads “An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.”
“Legally, a husband is the head of the house and a pedestrian has the right of way. Both are perfectly safe and within their rights as long as they do not try to confirm it!” - George E. Bergman.
“The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Yes,” she replied. “But not the same ones.” - Reader’s Digest.
“No man is poor who has had a godly mother.” - A. Lincoln
“One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"
"Yes" was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn’t do it."
It’s All About You?????
Two weeks ago I promised that today I would continue our series on critical issues in our world by talking about a Christian perspective on death and dying. Then I realized that it is Mother’s Day, and if I kept that promise I might be able to speak on that topic from personal experience… So instead I want to talk about a different issue.
Can I begin by venting a little? There is a phrase, which I keep seeing everywhere, which really drives me nuts. It’s the phrase, “It’s All About You.” It keeps cropping up, in marketing places everywhere. I first got offended by it at Bonnie Doon Mall, as the key phrase of their –get this – Christmas marketing campaign. You know, Christmas, the season of giving gifts to others – well that was now “all about you” and about giving yourself a present – and how backwards is that? I saw it on a billboard the other day, I think for another mall. Last Christmas I got a free CD from the Christian bookstore because I spent more than a certain amount of money – it was a Christmas CD, about Jesus coming to earth, subtitled – “It’s All About You”. The incarnation of the God of the Universe, to bring the Kingdom of God to earth, and guess what – it is all about me! I even saw it recently in an advertisement for a Christian conference, as part of the “conference overview”. The reason it bothers me so much is because it is so completely and totally false. Nothing is “all about me”, and the more I try to make it “all about me” the more miserable I’ll become.
A Sane Institution In An Insane World:
I thank God that we still have one sane institution in an insane world – motherhood. Perhaps the only place where self-giving, self-sacrificing, self-denial is still respected, admired, and celebrated. And I know some of you will even question that, from your own experience, but in our larger society I think the observation holds.
The one group in our society that knows, better than any other, that “It’s all about you” is a big lie, is mothers. Moms know that is a lie when they get up at 3am to feed a screaming baby, when they wash the 10th load of laundry of the day, when their main hope of the day is to be able to brush their teeth before noon, when they spend more time in the car driving kids around than they do in bed asleep, and when they lie awake worrying because it is midnight and the teenager hasn’t come home yet.
So why do moms do it? How do they keep doing it? At the risk of oversimplification, let me suggest this: they do it because they have discovered that Jesus was right when He said, “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt 10:39). They have discovered that the richest life comes not from pursuing self, but from living for others. From investing in something that you believe in, that you love, from pouring yourself into that thing which is so much bigger, so much grander, than yourself. They have discovered that living for yourself leads to emptiness and loneliness and despair, but living for others leads to joy, to purpose, to significance, and to love in community.
In their model of selflessness, mothers show us the Kingdom of God. I thank God for a group of people that live out the opposite of the phrase “it’s all about you”, and instead live by a different phrase, “It is all about others.” They are far closer to the message of Jesus and the message of the Kingdom of God than most others. Let’s take a closer look…
A Mother’s Gift: 1 Samuel 1:19-28
A few weeks ago I read the first part of the story of Hannah, from 1 Samuel 1. Hannah was a barren woman, who suffered abuse and scorn because she could not conceive. She went to the tabernacle, in great anguish, and prayed for a child. Let me read the rest of the story: 1 Samuel 1:19-28 (NLT).
“19The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the LORD once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the LORD remembered her request, 20and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, "I asked the LORD for him."
21The next year Elkanah, Peninnah, and their children went on their annual trip to offer a sacrifice to the LORD. 22But Hannah did not go. She told her husband, "Wait until the baby is weaned. Then I will take him to the Tabernacle and leave him there with the LORD permanently."
23"Whatever you think is best," Elkanah agreed. "Stay here for now, and may the LORD help you keep your promise." So she stayed home and nursed the baby.
24When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and half a bushel of flour and some wine. 25After sacrificing the bull, they took the child to Eli. 26"Sir, do you remember me?" Hannah asked. "I am the woman who stood here several years ago praying to the LORD. 27I asked the LORD to give me this child, and he has given me my request. 28Now I am giving him to the LORD, and he will belong to the LORD his whole life." And they worshiped the LORD there.”
Wait A Minute…
In a world that preaches “it’s all about you,” Hannah’s story makes no sense. She had longed for a child, wept for a child, prayed for a child to the point that Eli the priest thought she was drunk and chastised her. And, praise God! He answers her prayer. She gets pregnant, and gives birth to a child. Imagine the joy! The vindication!! The celebration of worship at the goodness of God!!!
And what does Hannah do? She weans the child, and then takes him and gives him to the Lord. She leaves him at the temple, under the care of Eli the priest, as is clear from chapter 2: “18Now Samuel, though only a boy, was the LORD’s helper. He wore a linen tunic just like that of a priest. 19Each year his mother made a small coat for him and brought it to him when she came with her husband for the sacrifice. 20Before they returned home, Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, "May the LORD give you other children to take the place of this one she gave to the LORD." 21And the LORD gave Hannah three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.”
Doesn’t that seem a little backwards to you? God answers her prayer for a child, and she gives the child back to God. With no guarantee of other children, she literally gives God back the gift that she had been given.
The Path To Fulfillment:
I believe Hannah did it with great joy. I believe she loved her child Samuel, we see that in her ongoing care and provision from a distance in making him a coat and in continuing to be a part of his life as he grew, and I believe she found great peace and fulfillment in her self-sacrifice. Because that is the message of the Kingdom of God – if you want to find joy, and happiness, and contentment, and meaning, and fulfillment, you will only find it in giving of yourself.
In the middle of a culture of incredible selfishness, that is a difficult message. Immediately we all think, “but what about me? What about my needs? Wants? Desires?” Even as Christians, we take scripture and claim promises about “God giving the desires of our hearts” and God answering our prayers and about God giving us the gifts of joy, and we fail to recognize that those things only come when we live for others first. When we give everything to God – even the great gifts of God such as Hannah’s son. Then we find the things we are really searching for.
Jesus said, “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matt 20:26-28).
“37"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matt 10:37-39).
“24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matt 16:24-25).
From Paul; “in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Phil 2:3-11)
You get the point: the Kingdom of God is about living for others first.
A Glimpse Of Hope:
I would almost give up hope of such a message ever getting through, of ever being heard, of ever changing us into the kind of people God wants us to be, except for mothers. We recognize motherhood as a high, Godly, exhausting, calling – and yet if you have an honest, intimate conversation with most mothers, they will tell you that as difficult as it is, and as many sacrifices as they may have to make, it is all worth it. They wouldn’t trade it. They find great fulfillment, great purpose, and great joy in being a mother. Most will say it is the best and most important thing they have ever done. Even when it is really hard, they still honestly, deep down, love it. Because they are living out the truth that in giving, we are blessed, and they are showing us that Jesus’ words really are true.
Conclusion:
As we honor mothers today, let us honor them for showing us how loving and living for others really is the best way to live.
“Over one hundred years ago, G.K. Chesterton asked: "Can anyone tell me two things more vital to the race than these; what man shall marry what woman, and what shall be the first things taught to their first child? … the daily operations surrounded her with very young children, who needed to be taught not so much anything but everything. Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, a woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren’t...Our race has thought it worth while to cast this burden on women in order to keep common-sense in the world....But when people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean....If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge (at his work)....But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless, and of small import to the soul, then I say give it up...."
How can it be an (important) career to tell other people’s children about mathematics, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe?...A woman’s function is laborious...not because it is minute, but because it is gigantic. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.” (Steve Farrar, Family Survival in the American Jungle, Multnomah Press, 1991, pp.113-114.)
