You Expect Me To Love HIM Deeply?
Acts 9:1-19a
The Story (pt 1):
The man and his family were settling into their new city. Oh, it certainly wasn’t Jerusalem, but Damascus wasn’t all that bad, really. And after what had happened to Stephen when he shared what he believed about Jesus, he could handle the differences. He could live without the great glory of the temple, without the feeling of importance that came from being a resident of the mighty city of David, capital of Israel, when that meant that he could sleep at night without fear of someone barging in in the middle of the night and dragging him off to prison. Terrifying his family, undermining his livelihood, threatening his life.
Yes, the persecution in Jerusalem had been difficult. As he knelt to pray, he recalled both the fear and the faith – fear of the persecution, but also the faith that came from knowing Jesus was with them. He remembered the moment he heard Peter preach the good news of the Messiah Jesus, how he had seen the power of God through the miracles, and how at that moment he said in his heart – “Jesus, are you for real? Are you really the Messiah??” – and he had his answer: in the depth of his spirit, he knew it was true, and he believed and was baptized.
He remembered his desperate prayer in the persecution – “Lord Jesus, where should I go? Where can I take my family to safety?”; and the Spirit’s answer – “Damascus.” And it had been good here, and even though there were rumors of persecution coming even to Damascus, he felt safe.
“Thank you, Lord Jesus,” he prayed, “for showing me your love for me, for forgiving me, and for surrounding me with a community of others who have helped me learn how to love you and how to love them. Thank you for a new home in a new city, and for safety for me and my family” Then he continued, as was his custom, to thank God for His goodness and faithfulness, and for His loving kindness.
And then something unusual happened. He often tried to listen for the voice of God as he prayed, and many times had come away with a strong feeling that God the Holy Spirit had spoken to him personally, and had given him guidance. But this was unique: The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord,” he answered.
The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street…”
Ananias nodded, thinking “I know the street – it is the main one, running right through the middle of town. It will be easy to find the house of Judas there.”
The Lord continued, “…and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”
His heart stopped. At the sound of that name, the flood of emotion returned. He saw in his mind the smiling face of Saul as he presided over the stoning of Stephen. He could smell again the stench of the dungeon he had waited outside of for the release of his friends in his house church, friends whose wounds from the lashes oozed with the filth of the dungeon. He felt that same rush of bile in his throat that he had felt as he helped clean and dress those wounds, inflicted without mercy, by order of Saul of Tarsus. He felt the same trapped feeling he had felt just before the Lord had told them to leave Jerusalem for Damascus.
“Ummm,” he replied, as the message began to sink in, “Ummm, Lord? I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”
While Ananias knew these facts weren’t news to the Lord, his own incredulity forced him to say them out loud. Perhaps, somehow, God didn’t really realize how desperate the situation was. Maybe he doesn’t really understand that this guy is dangerous! Maybe God would be a little more reasonable. After all, it doesn’t make sense – God had directed them to Damascus to keep them safe! To get away from the dangers of being a Christian in Jerusalem, to help them be more comfortable!! The persecution, after all, was so horrible that it couldn’t have been what God wanted, and that was why so many of them had scattered. “Umm, Lord – are you sure?”
But the Lord said, “Go! and do what I say.” And the terrifying rumble in that divine voice convinced him He was serious. This wasn’t an optional commandment, there wasn’t going to be any wiggle room here. The thought flashed through Ananias’ mind: “Am I sure I want Jesus to be my Lord?”; and was quickly met with a response of his spirit: “Yes. God chose me, and I chose Him. At my baptism, I declared Jesus as my Lord.” And as he affirmed his faith, courage began to grow. He felt the familiar stir of the Holy Spirit within him, bringing faith and peace and an assurance of the presence of God with him. And, as if in response to both the honest question and the decision to obey, the Lord continued with a gift: a glimpse of the reason: “For Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel. And I will show him how much he must suffer for me.”
“Gentiles? Kings??,” thought Ananias. Could God really take the chief persecutor and make him a chief apostle? And at the thought, Ananias smiled. Yes, He could – and that might be just like Him.
His next thought was, “how am I going to explain this to my wife??” Scripture is silent on that question; sorry guys!
But he knew what he must do, and he obeyed.
The Heart Of God:
There is more to the story, and I’ll return to it in a moment. But let me point out two things thus far:
1. Saying “Jesus is Lord” is a dangerous thing: God is far more interested in our obedience than in our comfort. He has brought us into His family, welcomed us as His children, and then given us a dangerous call: to be different. To love instead of hate. To forgive instead of avenge. To go instead of to stay where it is warm and safe. To seek God’s Kingdom rather than our own pleasure and desires. To serve instead of being served. To die, and only then to live. Anyone who says “being a Christian is boring” has never seen or understood real Christianity – it is dangerous, it is on the edge, it is taking the battle to the very gates of hell, and fighting for eternity. Saying “Jesus is Lord” is a dangerous thing.
2. The heart of God beats passionately for the lost: God sent Ananias into danger so that one who was lost might be found. That is a common theme in Scripture, it is the whole point of Christmas and Easter, is in fact the entire story of God’s interaction with humanity. In my prayers for our church, I’ve felt God leading me to pray that we might see people as God sees them. That our hearts would be broken with the things that break God’s heart. That we might be overwhelmed with His love for people everywhere around us. The heart of God beats passionately for the lost; and if we are to be like Christ, ours must also.
The Story (pt 2):
Ananias rose from the place of prayer, put on his outer cloak, and headed out the door and onto the street. As he walked he continued to pray the prayer of every Christian headed into a situation that looks ludicrous from a human point of view, but is clearly the command of God: “Lord, Help!!” At the corner of the street know as “Straight Street,” he stifled the desire to just keep walking and instead turned onto the main road. A merchant directed him to the house of Judas, and Ananias made his way and knocked on the door.
He was led into the inner room, past the questioning glances of the others in the household, and there he saw him. The mighty Saul of Tarsus, great persecutor of the church, the single most-feared person by Christians. Though Ananias had expected to feel the same rush of fear he had felt earlier, he was surprised. The Holy Spirit inside him showed Ananias who Saul was through the eyes of Jesus, and instead of fear he was washed over with love for this broken, blind man. He saw a great man stripped of his power, blinded and dependant, empty and waiting to be filled, and he loved him as a brother in Christ.
He crossed the room. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord--Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here--has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. A smile crossed his lips, the emotion choked at his throat, and his eyes which were so suddenly and instantly healed filled with tears, he embraced Ananias and wept. Then he got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
What It Means To Follow Jesus:
That is what it means to follow Jesus. To love God enough to love others like He loves them. To listen diligently, and then go willingly to people who are broken, hurting, and waiting for someone to show up in their lives and say, “You know that Jesus you’ve been thinking about? He sent me here to you so that you could see Him and be filled with His Spirit.”
Tell me, what else really matters? More cash? More power?? Kids that clean their rooms and sit quietly in church? A nicer car or home? The Eskimos thoroughly tromping the Allouettes? Or is it possible that in the pursuit of all these things, we miss the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit saying: “love me, love others. It really is that simple.”
I have great admiration and respect for Ananias. He loved God enough to love the biggest persecutor of God, and trusted God enough to obey His call to go the house of Judas on Straight street and ask for a man named Saul of Tarsus who was praying.
This past Wednesday morning I was praying with the other Baptist Union Pastors in the city, and God was teaching me this lesson again. He called me back to the simple place of loving God first, and then loving people. Specifically, the Spirit called me to love by listening to people, by hearing their stories and their struggles, and affirming my love for them. God reset my priorities, reminded me of the secondary importance of so many other things, and said simply: “love me, and love others.”
And so I want to say it out loud this morning. I love Jesus. And I love you. I love being your pastor, I love the privilege of hearing your stories and your struggles, I love the privilege of praying with you, and I love the joy of serving in God’s Kingdom alongside of you. And I really mean that! You know, often people apologize to me after talking to me and sharing something – I hear things like “sorry to take up so much of your time… I know you are busy… I’m sure you have other things to do…”, or something like that. And I always respond “No!! Don’t apologize!!! It is a privilege, the best part of my job, don’t apologize for the gift you have given me of sharing a part of your story!!!” And I really mean that. I am not, and I pray I never will be, too busy to love others. It is the call God has blessed me with.
Back To Community:
And I am not unique in that call – the call to love God and love others is not reserved for pastors, we just have the luxury of more direct time available to do it! You are called to that also. Many of us have chosen to be a part of a family group this fall, seeking to experience the kind of community that we see in the book of Acts where deep love for one another is the main characteristic. I want to ask you a question: Do you love the other people in your family group? Do you love them the way God loves them?? Group leaders, I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you discuss that question in your groups this week…
But here is one I do want you to discuss in your groups: Who else does your group need to love with the love of Jesus? Who is there that does not know the love of God for them, that could discover that through the love of your group? I leave that to you to discuss prayerfully together, and to pray that God would show you your world through His eyes.
Never Too Far
I’ve really only told you the last half of the story in Acts 9:1-19; let me simply read the first part (Acts 9:1-9). The first part is Saul’s experience, on the road to Damascus, where he meets the risen Lord Jesus in a blinding flash of light. I want to close with one simple observation from that story, that I feel like some of you need to hear this morning, and that brings me back to the part about “loving God”: You are never too bad for God to love you.
We sometimes feel that way – looking at what we have done, or done again, we think we must have somehow exhausted the love of God for us. We feel like we’ve gone too far this time, and we don’t believe that God can forgive us and love us after the mess we have made of things.
When you feel that, remember Saul. He killed God’s people. He wrecked homes, he inflicted physical pain and the emotional scars that carried on, he terrorized. When Jesus appears to him on the Damascus road, Jesus doesn’t say “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting my people;” He says, “why are you persecuting ME?” Saul actively persecuted Jesus.
But God loved him anyway. God forgave him, restored him, redeemed him, and sent him to be a witness to the forgiveness and power of God to save everyone. Including you. “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19).
I know some of you are here this morning reluctantly – your spouse or parent made you come, but you don’t want to be here. You maybe even feel hostile towards Jesus and Christianity. To you, I say this: God loves you as much as He loved Saul. Whether you like it or not, believe it or not, it doesn’t change this fact: God is crazy about you, and is doing an awful lot so that you have the opportunity to know and to respond.
Some of you are more open than that, though you still aren’t sure who this Jesus guy really is or what this Christianity thing is really about. To you I say this: God loves you as much as He loved Saul. Look with your heart, ask Saul’s question: “who are you?”, and see what He says! See who He is, and who you are to Him.
If you are a relatively young Christian, learn first from Saul. He completely abandoned his previous life and turned 180 degrees, he believed, was baptized, and followed Jesus. Then learn from Ananias, and go and love people, even if it is dangerous.
And likewise if you are a mature Christian. Listen, and go with boldness to the people – even the very unlovable – who need to see Jesus and be filled with His Spirit. Be someone’s Ananias this week – ask God to send you an opportunity, then obey! Let it really be as simple as loving God, and loving others. And live that this week.
