Reflections On Being a Christian Man
Men’s Breakfast, LHBC, June 3, 1995
I want to accomplish two things here this morning:
1. challenge you to pursue holiness
2. challenge you to invest your lives in the children of your church
I want to begin by sharing with you a tiny portion of my story.
I grew up not having a man around the house. My parents divorced when I was about 2; my mom packed up my older brother and I and away we went. So there were for me no male role models in my house. When Les asked me to speak at a men’s b-fast my first thought was "I don’t know anything about being a man!" "what do I have to say to a group of men?". But as I prayed about it, the Lord sort of told me that in fact, I do have something to say. I am a man, and I must have learned how to be one somewhere! So I started to reflect on my past, and wondering about where I learned how to be a man. I want to share a few of these things with you this morning.
Where I learned to be a man:
(gotta get out the man pack for this...)
The NUMBER ONE place where I learned how to be a man was my home church, that I grew up in: Bowness Baptist. I learned by watching - observing Godly men in my church. What’s in the pack...
• bottle cap - I don’t even remember any of their names, but my home church had a boy’s club. It was just a club led by men from my church. And I remember only impressions - a strong arm reaching around me and teaching me how to swing a hammer as we made a boot scraper out of old bottle caps; waking up on a camping trip sleeping on a bunk next to man who had picked me up off the floor and placed me next to him when I rolled out of the top bunk in the middle of the night; of men playing games and laughing with us. The impression that I remember most is that God was there - with those men and the children they led - and that He is caring, gentle, and interested in me.
• wire strippers: There was an electrician in our church, named Dan Clark. Our families were good friends for a while, so we used to spend a lot of time with them. I watched him be a father to his kids - I watched him take pride in them, help them, discipline them, and love them. He taught me about being a man just by being himself - and by allowing me to get close enough to watch and observe how to interact with others.
• seed: I had a couple of pastors who knew me: first George Nelner, and then later, Axel Shoeber. As I watched them I learned about being dedicated and obedient to God. I learned about service to Him through His church. I learned about integrity and holiness. I learned that being a man means helping people - putting their needs above my own. I learned to appreciate others by watching the way they related to people. They planted and nurtured a seed of Spirituality in me.
• this is a special gift: my first New Testament Bible, given to me by Ken Pike - a man who was my grade 5-6 teacher. Here’s the inscription. "" From him I learned sensitivity - compassion - that God is with us in the midst of our lives, in plenty and in want. I learned that men can have needs, and can share them with others.
• soccer ball: My brother taught me about commitment. He never used to let me quit - he’d keep pushing me until I finished or accomplished what I was supposed to. He taught me about how to relate to the opposite sex - to respect them and treat them like queens. And he taught me about moral purity and integrity by being an example throughout his life.
• my drill - my first power tool - for some reason this reminds me of Dave Spate - our senior pastor (hence my boss). From him I have learned a ton about being a man --> he is the first man I’ve ever had significant contact with on an almost daily basis. I’ve learned from him consistency, how to handle adversity, how to encourage, how to better love my wife, and how to set Godly priorities. He’s taught me that it is OK for men to share emotion with each other. He is a true mentor, and a wonderful Godly, male, friend.
• finally, my ball glove. I never had one of these growing up. Then about two years ago I was at a wedding shower with my wife’s family, and I open a gift from my father-in-law - my baseball glove. I finally have someone here, on earth, to call "dad". From him I am learning how to be a man in a family. How to love. How to continually rely on God. What integrity is.
I mentioned repeatedly that these people taught me integrity and holiness by modeling it. If I had to pick a thread that ties all of these lessons together (along with a whole bunch more), I’d sum it up by sharing what I have caught most from all these people: a thirst for holiness. A passion to live a life that is pleasing and acceptable to God. A need to overcome sin, resist temptation, and live a holy life.
I told you that the first thing I wanted to accomplish today was to challenge you to deeper holiness. As I look back over some of the people who have influenced me, I see their desire to serve God by living a holy life. Now I ask you: are you living a holy life? What sin is in your life? As you examine yourself before the presence of God, and under the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, what do you see? Asking Him to remove all of the filters of rationalization that we place between ourselves and sin; asking Him to give us an accurate portrayal of who we are, and taking away those filters of rationalization, I ask you to ask yourself: Do you see a holy child of God living in obedience and reverence, living out his faith and spirituality in noticeable, observable ways in his home, workplace, church, and neighborhood? or do you see an estranged child of God who has run and embraced sin and turned his back on God? Do you see someone who toys with sin, who dabbles, allowing sin to be his master once again. See, if we have sin in our lives - any sin, "big" or "little" - maybe a little lie to your wife, or a slight "oversight" on your tax return, or losing control of your temper on the freeway and cussing at the guy who cut you off, or maybe complaining and griping about your pastor or church or your role, or maybe your lusting over someone you know - or worse pursuing a relationship that is wrong in the eyes of God. If any of these or other sins are in our lives, we are estranged temporarily from God. We are removed from His presence. Where do you stand right now - in sin, back beside your old master, - or in Christ, obeying and ministering and living in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Rom. 6:2 "We died to sin." We died to sin. Rom 6:6-7 explains how this occurred (note the past tense) "For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." Do you understand that? When Christ was crucified, or old self was crucified with Him. The nails that went through His hands also went through the hands of my old sinful nature. The result is that we are free from sin - do you live like you are free from sin? Rom 6:11-13 gives us some instruction in making this a daily reality. "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."
The key to living a Holy life is right there, in two parts. First, "count yourselves dead to sin": my NKJV reads "reckon" instead of "count". The principle is the same: it is a perspective - a knowledge - of our situation. We are no longer mere humans, subject to sin. We are dead to sin, grab that perspective! Consider yourself, count yourself, reckon yourself dead to sin. Grab the fact, and cling to it even in the face of evidence to the contrary. The second part follows in verse 12: "therefore, do not let sin reign". It speaks of our effort - our refusal to permit sin in our lives. We simply determine to not allow sin to rule. We disobey the old master - we even go further and just plain ignore him. We obey the new master, Christ, and do not let sin reign.
So my first challenge is: be holy. My second challenge to you begins in the last part of that last verse: "offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness." Let me begin by taking a small poll.
1. How many of you are active in some sort of leadership in your church?
2. How many of you are involved in: church committee, deacons board, misc. admin.
3. How many involved in leading an adult ministry - small group, men’s ministry, etc.
4. How many involved in any type of ministry to children? How many of your wives are?
You need to be involved - after you become Holy, you need to get involved in the lives of other people. I want to challenge you to get involved with the children of your church. A youth ministry colleague asked this question at a youth pastors conference this past week: "Don’t you think that Jr Hg is the age where we can have the greatest impact on people?". My answer is no! Jr Hg is vital, and important, yes, it is where I do most of my ministry; but - I believe that the greatest impact we can have on people for Christ is before they hit school age: when they are in the nursery, 2-3 years old, and 4-6 years old - for the sole reason that it is here that their impressions of God - their emotional frame of reference towards all matters of Spirituality - are formed. Let me repeat that: the sole reason that it is here that their impressions of God - their emotional frame of reference towards all matters of Spirituality - are formed. That is when they learn what love is. Where they learn what it means to be cared for. Where they learn what a father is. If they only ever receive care in church from female care providers, what does that teach them about men in the church? What does it teach them about God as Father? What does it teach them about male spirituality, about roles and duties, and what does it teach them about how the church is a family that is different from the world?
You want to have an eternal impact on someone? Teach 4-5 year-old SS. Spend one Sunday a month in the nursery or junior church program. NOT to teach wonderful truths, or to do a job that everyone is going to notice and pat you on the back for - but to touch and to hold and to love children, and so shape their perception of God - so mold their spiritual identity - so form their emotional framework towards spirituality. I challenge you to get down on your knees and look into the face of a four year-old boy and say "God loves you". It’s not your words that will shape that child- if they are church kids they have heard that a million times before! It’s your person, your being, your attitude, your touch, your looking them straight in the eye at their level and communicating your love of Christ to them. That’s what will shape them!
You can accomplish some of the same purpose without getting committed to a Sunday School or nursery schedule (if you want the easier way out!). Just adjust your attitude to the kids running around at your feet. Instead of perceiving them as a nuisance and an interruption in your "adult" conversation, stop and look one in the face and tell them that God loves them. Give them a kind pat on the head and a gentle smile. Hold a newborn and pray for him or her. Please never underestimate the effect that you have on the kids around you - my experiences that I shared with you earlier prove that kids are watching - I did - they see your every move! They hear you get upset at your brother in Christ - they see you shoot that dirty look at the back of someone’s head. And they notice when you stop and pay attention to one like them. They feel it when you give them a pat on the back. Make your influence on them count for God’s kingdom.
If you want to have an impact at all for Christ, be 1. a holy, godly man - one who has absolutely nothing to do with sin - and let the children in your church see that in you. Share it with them, and let them catch your fire, and your passion for Christ.
If I could add one thing to your man pack this morning, I’d add a SS guide or a nursery schedule with your name on it. And I’d love to take another poll in a year and see the entire room respond that yes, in fact, they are passing their spirituality - their practice of holiness - on to the next generation.
