Let’s start with an easy question. Have you ever been betrayed? If so, you know the pain of broken trust.
Now for a more difficult question; Have you ever been the betrayer? It isn’t a difficult question because you don’t know the answer, but because the answer can be very painful.
If you’ve betrayed someone very important to you, you understand the deep longing for a second chance. Do you remember what it felt like when you were given that chance? When the relationship was restored you probably enjoyed new depths of companionship. This isn’t simply the result of “kiss and make up.” It’s going deeper in shared loyalty through forgiveness offered and accepted.
That’s what we see in the story found in John 21:15-17.
15 Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." 17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
The story includes a 3-fold examination that resulted in a 3-fold affirming and a 3-fold commission.
Peter was grieved at Jesus’ third question because in those moments he had to relive the pain of his awful failure. But it was vital to his future. Jesus gave him the opportunity to erase each of his three denials by three times affirming his love for the Savior.
Whatever your past failures and sins, Jesus is ready to give you another chance because He is loyal to you.
It is possible to read Jesus’ question in at least three ways, each with important applications. Let’s take the time to evaluate our own love and loyalty to Him by exploring what Jesus could have meant when He asked Peter, “do you love me more than these?”
1. “Do you love me more than these others love me?”
Peter had made some fairly arrogant claims that implied he had a superior love and character. With some bravado he’d said, “Even if all the others abandon you, I’ll never do that.” He was confident he’d be willing to lay down his life for Jesus.
It’s possible that morning after breakfast on the shore, Jesus was asking Peter, “After recent events, do still regard yourself as superior to the other disciples?”
Feeling we’ve achieved something that’s superior to others around us is kind of important to us. Think for a moment about some of the symbols that represent your superior achievements. What is something you can look at or hold in your hand that sets you apart as special?
For example, I’ve brought the nicely framed master of divinity certificate that hangs on the wall in my office. It’s a visible reminder of some intense years of study and preparation for ministry. It’s also a verification that I did in fact complete an appropriate program to prepare for this vocation.
If I’m not careful and become arrogant, it can also be a symbol of spiritual superiority. The Spirit keeps reminding me that having a degree that reads “master of divinity” does not mean I’ve mastered all that’s divine.
What about you? What thing do you possess that represents some superior accomplishment? It could be a diploma that credits you with an important title or credential. It might be a trophy or medal that you’re really proud of winning. What’s your symbol?
These can all be good things and there’s noting wrong with them. But to what extent does your symbol represent an attitude of superiority and pride?
We often struggle with an image problem – an “I’m better than you” attitude. Maybe because I believe I’m of a superior race or superior social and economic class. Maybe because I feel superior in some personal way, like what I do is more important than what you do, or I’m more intelligent, have more class and more sophisticated tastes. It can be an attitude of spiritual superiority, you know, “I have a deeper commitment than most Christians,” or better knowledge of the Bible, or act with more Christ-like love, or “Look how much humility I possess.”
Am I ready to face my pride and deal with it? An evidence of pride is that I’m more concerned with presenting a certain image than living in real conformity to Jesus Christ. Do I invest more effort on presenting a facade that I want people to see than I put into efforts to think, speak and live more and more like Jesus?
Jesus said to Peter, “if you love me as you say, feed my lambs.” In other words, we show real love for Jesus as we humble ourselves, love those He loves and serve their deepest needs.
Do you understand that love for Him means loving those He loves and humbly serving them. That’s the only way to a healthy self-love. Love for Him leaves no room for arrogance and superiority. Peter had to see how far he could fall, how miserably he could fail so he could be lifted to right relationships with the Lord and the people in his life. He had to see he’s no better than the others so his inflated self-love could be replaced with a healthy, balanced Christ-like love.
Have you faced that in yourself? Or do you think your love, your loyalty for Jesus is superior?
Jesus question to Peter may have meant…
2. “Do you love me more than these things?”
Where did Jesus find Peter that morning? He was surrounded by boats, nets and all the tools of the fisherman’s trade. Peter was grasping for the security these things represent for a fisherman. These were the tangible symbols of Peter’s way of life, his future and his plans.
What are the symbols of your lifestyle and security? Maybe they’re the tools of your trade or some of the possessions you’ve worked hard to gain.
I brought a couple of my favorite books by writers who’ve helped me as a person and a pastor. These are valuable tools that represent my vocation. I could have gone to the trouble of bringing my computer here to the platform. It’s another valuable tool to me.
If I had asked you to bring something with you today that represents your chosen lifestyle, what would you have brought? Your laptop or blackberry? Pictures of your office, buildings where you run your business, or your home? Would you take us out to the parking lot to show us your company car or tractor or trucks? If you’re a mechanic you might have brought a few tools or some diagnostic equipment. What are the things that best symbolize what you most value in life and what gives you security?
The examples I’ve mentioned and many that you’re thinking of are good things. They’re necessary things. But are they the most important things? Does your life only have meaning if you can keep them?
We’re thinking about the “stuff” that surrounds us and sometimes clutters our life. Someone said, “Don’t own so much clutter that you’re relieved to see you house burn down.”
The way we value our stuff can get out-of-whack. One day in San Antonio the temperature had risen to 99 degrees. Fred Arriola, a wrecker driver stopped his truck in the street because he saw two women hysterically running around a car and a neighbor trying to unlock it with a hanger. Inside was a 10-month-old girl, who’d been accidentally locked in the car by her aunt. Mr. Arriola saw that the baby was turning purple and had foam at her mouth. He knew it was a life-or-death situation, so he grabbed a hammer from his truck and smashed a window. You’d expect the baby’s mother and aunt were grateful. You’d be wrong. Fred talked about it later, “The lady was mad at me because I broke her window. I just thought, ‘what’s more important – the baby or the window?’”
You and I react to that story with some disgust, maybe anger. Why would anyone endanger that precious, irreplaceable life to save piece of glass?
But are we so different? People are dying around us while we focus on saving our stuff, or accumulating more of it.
We need to hear Jesus asking, “Do you love me more than these things you’ve gathered around?”
Is my affection invested in the possessions I’ve gained, forcing things of eternal value to take a back seat? Or is my ultimate allegiance invested in eternal values; laying up treasure in heaven?
Jesus said to Peter, “If you love me as you say, take care of my sheep.”
Peter wanted to fish. Jesus wanted him to shepherd.
Yes, you and I need to make a living. We need a place to live and our places seem to take a lot of material stuff. Our view of good stewardship also says we should take good care of our stuff.
But we can’t get so involved with doing that and as a result ignore taking care of God’s favorite possessions. What’s that?
Six times in New International Version of the Bible people are referred to as His “treasured possession.” For example, “The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession” (Deut 7:6, NIV).
The people around you are what God values most. Love and loyalty to Jesus is practical and shows itself in taking care of His treasured possession, the people he cares about.
The people around you are not one more resource to be used for your purposes and pleasure. You’ve been given your resources (your “stuff”) to care for the Lord’s treasured possessions.
Who are they? Think of one near you who needs some kind of care you have to offer? Remember that Jesus is saying, “If you love me as you say, I’ll see more than lip-service. Take care of my sheep.”
It could be that Jesus’ question to Peter meant…
3. “Do you love me more than [you love] these… people?”
Do you know the secret to the best love? I’ll offer it in a moment.
Peter abandoned Jesus, but remained with his friends. So who was his first love?
Let’s think about symbols in our lives one more time. This time, think of something you can hold in your hand that represents the people you love most. What would it be?
A valuable symbol to me – I’m not holding it in my hand – but wearing it on my hand. It’s my wedding ring and it reminds me of the woman I love and married 29 years ago this month. An important symbol my mother cherished was a ring that contained four birthstones – each reminding her of my sister, two brothers and me.
If I asked you to show me your symbol, what would it be? A family portrait? An heirloom, like grandpa’s pocket watch or mom’s locket?
It’s important to stress how much we must love the special people God has given us; our spouses, children, parents, church family, friends. Love them, be loyal to them and honor them.
But what did Jesus mean when he said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life — he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26, NIV).
That doesn’t sound like the Jesus we know and love. Is He really telling us to hate the people closest to us? Of coarse not.
Think of it this way. The idea Jesus was getting across is If you could somehow pour your love for your spouse or children or parents into a measuring cup, then pour your love for Him into another measuring cup, you should need a really big one to measure your love for Him. In fact the measure of your love for Him should be so big that when it’s set beside the cup containing your love for people, that smaller cup looks like hate in comparison.
I think the New Living Translation captures the meaning of Luke 14:26: "If you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters — yes, more than your own life.”
Verse 27 adds… “Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” So there’s the symbol of your first love – the cross.
The result of loving Jesus above all is not indifference. I’m convinced that when Jesus is our first love, that’s when we learn how to really love the precious people in our lives. After all, how does Bible tell husbands to love their wives? We’re to love them “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” In other word’s we follow the example of Christ-like love to the extent of complete self-sacrifice for the ones we love.
So what’s the secret to the best love? It’s to love Jesus first and foremost. Do you want to love the most important people in your life better? Then love Jesus first and most. That’s when you’re able to love those around you with Jesus’ kind of love, the best kind of love.
Conclusion:
Jesus asked Peter, and I think He’s asking you and me, “Do you love me more…”
1. “than these people love me?” After facing the reality of your own sin and failure, do you still regard yourself as spiritually superior? Jesus challenge is, “Love me enough to serve humbly after my example.”
2. “than these things you’ve collected?” Jesus’ challenge is “Love me enough to understand I’ve given you these things to take care of the people I love.”
3. “than these people that you love so much?” Jesus’ challenge is “Love me above all, so you really know how to love them.”
In his three responses to Jesus, Peter did not say, “Lord, you’ve seen how much I love you.” His visible actions on the night of Jesus’ arrest did not show love.
Instead Peter said, “Lord, you know that I love you.” He appealed to Jesus’ intimate knowledge of his heart. And what did Jesus see there? He saw a friend truly humbled by his ability to fail. He saw his friend in deep pain because he’d abandoned his best friend at the time he should have been most loyal. He saw his brother paralyzed by fear, thinking he’d blown it so badly that he could never get over it and could never face his Lord.
Does Jesus see any of that in your heart? He’s looking there right now. Can you recall some of your actions or words of this past week that betrayed your love and loyalty to Jesus? Think back to how you behaved on last night’s date, how you acted or spoke at work this week, how you treated the people in your own home or how you behaved when you were with your friends.
You know that nothing is hidden from Jesus. So what does He see in heart?
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, as you examine my heart, do you see pride in my own strength and attitudes of superiority? Help me to real humility and the awareness that I need your strength.
Do you see that my affections are so preoccupied with personal things and goals that I don’t have passion for the people you love? Give to me a heart that delights most in using the things with which you’ve blessed me to care for your treasured possessions. Let me help build Your spiritual and eternal kingdom instead of my own material and temporal kingdom.
Lord, do you see in my heart an unhealthy allegiance to the people most important to me so I don’t have time for you and I keep you at a distance? Spirit of God, please overwhelm my heart and mind with such love for Jesus that He will be my first and greatest love. Then I can finally love others with the best, genuine Christ-like love.
Lord, I confess I’ve been disloyal to You. I’ve failed. I’ve sinned. Thank You for such love that I can be forgiven and restored.
