I begin tonight with a question, “Who would you call your best friend?” For some of us, it is our spouse. For others of us, a sibling is our best friend. For others, a childhood friend whom we still communicate with today holds the title of being our “best friend.”
Best friends are very important. Best friends are our confidants. They are our counselors. They are our PR persons. They back us up when others are against us.
No problem is ever as dark when you have a friend to face it with you. Especially when that person is a best friend.
When one thinks of friends in the Bible some natural friends come to mind
Joshua & Caleb
Jesus and the Disciples – I call you friends
Paul and Barnabas
Paul and Silas
Tonight I want us to focus on the idea of Biblical friendship by exploring the friendship of David and Jonathan. Jonathan is the oldest son of Saul and the heir apparent to the throne – yet because of his father’s sin he will forever be a prince – never a king. Yet his friendship with David is one we should all strive to emulate. Their friendship is best seen in the second part of verse 1 in 1 Samuel 18 “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.”
The story of Jonathan and David begins in I Samuel 18, continues with what would be the final contact between them in chapter 23, and tragically ends with Jonathan’s death on the battlefield in chapter 31. It is a story that covers perhaps 10 years or so. And that, I think, is important to remember because the love that God expects us to demonstrate toward others is not a short-term love but a long-term and life long one. Jonathan and David’s relationship was one that remained until death.
There are three episodes in the story of Jonathan and David we need to briefly review before we consider God’s idea for a Biblical friendship.
1. The first episode is seen in I Samuel 18: 1 - 4.
READ TEXT
Two things are of note: First in verse 1, we note, “There was an immediate bond of love between them and they became the best of friends.”
Have you ever had that happen to you? You met somebody and you “clicked” with him or her. You immediately liked them. You became good friends, even best friends. That’s what happened here. Jonathan and David liked each other immediately and they became “like two peas in a pod.” Where one was, the other one was close behind.
The second thing to notice occurs in verse 3 and 4. Jonathan made a vow of friendship with David and sealed the vow by giving David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.
What does this mean?
It means something of deep significance. Jonathan was so committed to David that he gave things of great value to him. Now this does not mean that he was trying to “buy” David’s friendship. But, it does mean that Jonathan was committed to David at any cost and he sealed that commitment by giving David items that were of great value to him.
By the way, remember what happened when Saul gave his armor and weapons to David to fight Goliath? They did not fit! David could not fight Goliath with Saul’s armor because it was too big and cumbersome.
But, what about Jonathon’s items? I think that we can assume from the text, that they fit David. They became part of the tools he used to do battle for God, Israel, and Saul, in that order.
2. Now the second episode is found in chapter 20 where Jonathan intercedes, at great risk to his own life, on behalf of David.
READ TEXT 1 Samuel 20:1 - 4
The chapter opens with David, running for his life from Saul, Jonathan’s father and the King of Israel, catching up to Jonathan and asking him, as we read in verse 1, “What have I done? What is my crime? How have I offended your father that he is so determined to kill me?”
Jonathan denies that his father would do such a thing and David presses him to prove otherwise. So Jonathan devises a plan that allows him to find out what Saul is planning to do and then tell David.
Well the plan is put in place and Jonathan learns, as we read in verses 30 and 31, what his father’s true intentions are - murdering David so that Jonathan becomes king. Then, as we read in verse 33, Saul hurls his spear at Jonathan, which causes Jonathan to leave in anger, find David, and tell the truth about what is going on.
Jonathan takes great risk to both maintain his relationship with David and tell him what is really going on. But, he does because of his love and respect for David.
3. The third and final episode occurs in chapter 23 where Jonathan encourages David in his faith. Listen to Jonathan (verse 17): “Don’t be afraid,” Jonathan reassured him. “My father will never find you! You are going to be the king of Israel, and I will be next to you, as my father is well aware.” So the two of them renewed their covenant of friendship before the Lord. Then Jonathan returned home, while David stayed at Horesh.”
And from at least the Biblical record, they never again saw one another.
Jonathan has the position and place to make or break this relationship. He is the one who initiates the vow and pledge of friendship. He is the one who risks his life to find out the truth. He is the one who encourages the faith in one who would be called “A man after God’s own heart.”
Why? Love.
When we look at Jonathan, we see the love of God flowing out of one who was in line to have it all! But, he gave it all away out of love for another who was to take his place.
Biblical friendship comes when we love as Jonathan loved David.
We need to keep the example of Jonathan before us on a daily basis and ask God to help us love like him because that is the way God wants us to live. But why? And how do we do that?
Jesus gives us the reason. In Matthew 22 Jesus is again approached with a trick question. Matthew 22:36 and 37: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the Law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’” This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as your self.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Can you imagine the Pharisees response to hearing everything else hinges on these 2?
The Pharisees held there were over 600 different laws – how could they be summed up in 2 commands?
Biblical love is about commitment. Why is love a core expression of commitment? Because it is a sign of commitment. Think about the people we love. How do others know that we love them? We spend time with those we love and follow what scripture says about how to love them. It is a sign of commitment!
Biblical friendship is willing to be sacrificial in nature
We live in a give and take society – we give some and we take and that is the way of our relationships are based. Society in fact frowns on one who goes to one extreme or the other – if you are always taking – selfish
Always giving people will take advantage of you. That is how the world views things but notice Jonathan’s sacrificial nature.
18:4 – He gave David his possessions
19:1-2 He disobeyed his Father - & THE KING
19:4 – He defended David
23:17 He submitted to David “I will be second”
The sacrificial nature of friendship today is spelled T I M E
A group of fourth graders recently interviewed 198 people on what is most important in a friendship. They interviewed their families and friends. They also asked people on the Internet to join in their project. The students heard from a variety of places, from as close as Winnipeg to as far away as England and New Zealand. Here is what the students found:
1. Friends can trust each other. (24 responses)
2. Friends help each other. (23 responses)
3. Friends do things together. (18 responses)
4. Friends are loyal to each other. (14 responses)
5. Friends are honest with each other. (13 responses)
6.A friend is someone that you can talk to and who listens to you. (12 responses)
7. Friends share with each other. (8 responses)
8. A friend is there in the good times and the bad times. (5 responses)
9. Friends never judge you. They accept you for who you are. (5 responses)
10. Friends have fun together. (4 responses)
Interesting – of the 198 responses 99 of the responses directly dealt exclusively with time.
How well are we doing in this area?
Biblical friendship is maintained regularly
One of the saddest commentaries of our society is how we move through life disposing of relationships. Long time friends sometime split because of conflict.
In the three episodes of Jonathan and David’s life that we have looked at today, something took place every time. What was it? They recommitted to one another. They made sure that they said to one another, “I’m behind you, I’m with you. We are in this together.”
18: Became one in spirit
20:4 (Jonathan) Whatever you want me to do I will do
23:18, made a covenant together.
Jonathan and David were friends for some 10 years, much of that time was under great distress and yet they war faithful to one another. Why, Because they recommitted themselves to each other. Occasionally couples will renew their wedding vows as a testimony of recommitting to their marriage. Is this necessary, no but it is a good reminder of the vows we said to one another years ago. Maybe we need to be like Jonathan and David and frequently recommit to one another to remind us how dear our friendship is to each other.
Biblical Friendship brings out the best in one another.
We have looked at three parts of David’s life
Chosen by God - We saw his heart
Defeated his the giant – we saw his courage
Now his relationship with Jonathan – We see his growth
Shepherd to Giant Killer to Leader of men.
How was it possible I think David learned much of his skill from Jonathan – he was already a leader and I am sure he taught David some of his leadership techniques.
Prov 27:17, As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
We need each other
Accountability – to help us grow in the Lord.
Biblical Friendship has eternal benefits
Following the death of Jonathan, The house of David and the house of Saul are in the midst of a civil war – finally the house of David is victorious.
NOTE DAVID’S RESPONSE
2 Sam 9:1-13
1 David asked, "Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?"
2 Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They called him to appear before David, and the king said to him, "Are you Ziba?" "Your servant," he replied.
3 The king asked, "Is there no one still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?" Ziba answered the king, "There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in both feet."
4 "Where is he?" the king asked. Ziba answered, "He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar."
5 So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel.
6 When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, "Mephibosheth!" "Your servant," he replied.
7 "Don’t be afraid," David said to him, "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table."
8 Mephibosheth bowed down and said, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?"
9 Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul’s servant, and said to him, "I have given your master’s grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family.
10 You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table." (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.)
11 Then Ziba said to the king, "Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to do." So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons.
12 Mephibosheth had a young son named Mica, and all the members of Ziba’s household were servants of Mephibosheth.
13 And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table, and he was crippled in both feet.
David did not retaliate – nor did he seek revenge instead he sought to do good in Jonathan’s house
DECISION TIME
Do you have a friend like Jonathan?
Friendship based on love
A friend willing to sacrifice
A friend who works at maintaining a relationship
A friend who brings out the best in you
A friend who sees the eternal value in your friendship
Are you that type of Friend?
PRAYER
Prov 18:24, A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
DO YOU KNOW HIM
