What Is Community?
John 17:15-21
I talked with a friend and her husband from another town this week who are having trouble with their teenage daughter. They have been to court several times because she is completely out of control. They have also taken her to professional counselors who have told the parents that she has a diagnosis of NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) describes it this way: “Individuals with this disorder have a grandiose sense of self-importance (Criterion 1). They are often preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (Criterion 2). They may ruminate about ‘long overdue’ admiration and privilege and compare themselves favorably with famous or privileged people.” It seems to me that this is not just the diagnosis of a few individuals, it is the diagnosis of the culture at large — narcissistic self-absorption and self-centeredness.
The term “Narcissism” comes from the Greek god named Narcissus who was known for his beauty. Many fell in love with him, but he spurned all lovers, until one day he became thirsty and went to a pool of water where he clearly saw his own reflection. He fell deeply in love with himself and could not pull himself away from his reflection, even to eat, so that he ultimately died. His death was caused by total self-absorption. How many beautiful and talented celebrities do we know who destroy their own lives because of a complete preoccupation with themselves? When we worship ourselves, we become our own god.
I read the book by Robert Bellah Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life not long after it came out in 1985. It is about the rise of radical individualism in our culture which is committed only to the self. It is even more relevant today than when it was written. He described how we are moving away from concern about family, community and what is good for society as a whole, to a culture that is narrowing its concern to what is good for us personally as individuals. In the book, he gives this fascinating illustration about a young woman named Sheila: “We interviewed, in the research for Habits of the Heart, one young woman who has named her religion after herself. Sheila Larson is a young nurse who has received a good deal of therapy and describes her faith as ‘Sheilaism.’ This suggests the logical possibility of more than 235 million American religions, one for each of us. ‘I believe in God,’ Sheila says. ‘I am not a religious fanatic. [Notice at once that in our culture any strong statement of belief seems to imply fanaticism so you have to offset that.] I can’t remember the last time I went to church. My faith has carried me a long way. It’s Sheilaism. Just my own little voice.’ Sheila’s faith has some tenets beyond belief in God, though not many. In defining what she calls ‘my own Sheilaism,’ she said: ‘It’s just try to love yourself and be gentle with yourself.’” This is fast becoming the dominant religion of America: the worship of self.
Is it any wonder that we are experiencing the deterioration of the family? Is it any wonder that our friendships are so shallow? Even in the church, we find that people come for what they can personally get out of it. Almost no one visits the church and says, “How can I serve? What can I do to be in ministry here?” Because of this, the church turns into a commercial enterprise that tries to market itself like a business. People actually “shop” for a church much the way they do for a car — one which exactly suits their particular desires. The church growth movement encourages us to decide which market we are aiming for (usually the successful and financially stable folks who have it together) and target a homogenous group — a church where everyone is alike.
Increasingly, in American Christianity, we are seeing what I call the “Me and Jesus” syndrome. Christians don’t want to be answerable to anyone. They see themselves as independent, and not needing the church or any other group of Christians. They only associate with people like themselves, and often it eventually comes down to where it is only “Me and Jesus.” The radical individualism of our pagan culture has brainwashed them, and they don’t even realize it.
One of the great things about our church is that it is so diverse. We have people from every conceivable church background. We have committed Republicans and Democrats. We have people who love contemporary worship, and those who can’t stand anything but traditional worship. We have those who want to clap and raise their hands, and those who are uncomfortable doing so. We have wealthy and poor; people with post-graduate degrees and people who did not complete high school; very conservative people and those who tend to be more liberal socially and religiously. We have various races and ethnic groups (at least as much as you can have in Mount Vernon). It is what makes our church so wonderful and interesting to me, and also what makes our church difficult at times. The problem comes when any one of those groups insist that everyone see things exactly the way they do. We are learning to live together and love each other in this wonderful diversity.
I would like for us to think about what it means to live in Christian community this morning. The first thing I would like to lift out is: Community means unity in love. Community comes from two words: com meaning “with,” and “unity.” Community means living “with unity.” Unity is very important in the teachings of Jesus and in the rest of Scripture. Listen to what the Bible says: “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5). Paul wrote to the Ephesians saying, “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). He said that the gifts of the Spirit were given, “to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12-13). He listed the virtues of the faith and then said, “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14).
The distinguishing factor of the church is not that we all have exactly the same beliefs, but that we live in unity and love. It is not that beliefs are not important, they are. It is essential that we agree on the core doctrines of the faith, but some make everything a core doctrine. It is more important that we, as followers of Jesus, love each other than it is for us all to think exactly alike. The Bible says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8). Prevalent in American Evangelicalism is the idea that we have to agree on everything in order to stay together and love each other. There are churches all over this country who have split over some of the most absurd things imaginable. This was one of the greatest challenges for the Apostle Paul who started churches throughout the gentile territories. Because these churches were made up of people, there were always problems. In fact, almost every letter the apostle Paul wrote was written to churches because of problems and conflicts they were having. There has never been a perfect church and there never will be. As someone has said, “If there was a perfect church and you joined it, it would no longer be a perfect church.”
Jesus’ prayer for the church was that we might be one in the unity of love. He said, “My prayer is. . . that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. . . . May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me” (John 17:20-23). The purpose of our unity is that the world may believe that the message of Christ is real. If we can only love people that we agree with, then we know little of the love of Jesus. He loved all kinds of strange, unlovely and sinful people. If we can only love people that are like us, then we know little of calvary love. If we cannot love imperfect people, then we know nothing of the unconditional love of Jesus. If we can’t love people who are different from us, then we only love ourselves. If we can only love people who think like us, believe exactly like us, and look like us, then we are not being true disciples of Jesus. His prayer was, and is, that we would be one — one in unity and love. God’s family must be a place where we can be authentic and real. It is a place where we forgive each other, and care for those who may be different from us. It should be a place where we are committed to each other in love, and where we find deep and lasting friendships. The family of God should be a place of freedom, not judgment and condemnation. If you read the Gospels you see that Jesus was more condemning of the hypocrisy of the religious folk than he was the bad behavior of sinners. One of the judgments made against Jesus was that he was soft on sin.
The second point is: Community means we keep our eyes on Jesus. If you have your eyes on people, they will disappoint you every time — so don’t be surprised. If you are only focused on being right, then your eyes are not on Jesus, and you have placed being right above having right relationships. The Bible says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). Often, people are looking for something wrong, something to criticize, rather than keeping their focus on Jesus.
I have several pastors in this community who are great friends of mine. If we bothered to sit down and talk about our doctrinal distinctives and differences, we might have problems. But our friendship is so much more important to us than the differences in our particular denominations, beliefs or church backgrounds. Our friendship is so important to us that those things don’t make any difference to us. I actually appreciate the different emphasis they have, and even though it may not be where I am, I see their emphasis as extremely important in the work of the kingdom, and an integral part of the body of Christ.
But it is not so with everyone. I knew of one church recently where a key member of the church was asked to resign his office because, because even though the church taught that Jesus did not turn the water into wine, but into something like grape juice, he suggested that the Bible might really mean Jesus turned the water into wine. When those kind of things happen, we are not keeping our eyes on Jesus. We are focusing on rules, religious tradition, regulations and preferences, rather than Christ. Unity means loving people who are different from us. Unfortunately the church is sometimes better at rejection than understanding. Often those members who fail in some way find themselves on the outside looking in. Someone has said, “The church is the only army in the world that shoots its wounded.”
The third point is: Community means losing ourselves in service. People start getting into trouble when they have too much time on their hands. I have noticed a principle through the years, that the people who do the least for the church expect the most. Those who do little demand a lot. We get into trouble when the only things we are doing are things we are doing for ourselves. When service starts, quarreling ends. When we lose ourselves in ministry, then we begin to work side by side with other believers for the common good. Our focus is on serving Christ and building up his kingdom. I think it would be good for us to regain our passion for ministry here. We used to have a lot of people active in the Apartment ministry, OASIS, Wagon ministry, English as a Second Language, Shut-in ministry and others. Our volunteer base has dwindled. We are not who we used to be and it is having its affect on us. Instead of looking at the things which divide us, let’s unite in a new spirit of service in the name of Christ. Let’s look at what we can do to bring the message of Jesus to this community and demonstrate by our love for them, and each other, what it means to be a follower of Christ. The Bible says, “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:1-4).
It is interesting that as John the Baptist and Jesus were baptizing near the same spot in the Jordan River, the Bible says, “An argument developed between some of John’s disciples and a certain Jew over the matter of ceremonial washing” (John 3:25). We are not exactly sure what that was all about. Some think it was a debate about whose baptism was better: Jesus’ baptism or John’s. Some think it was that John was not baptizing exactly like the Jewish regulations prescribed it. John the Baptist was not exactly the kind of guy who cared about the finer points on how to do things. Whatever it was, it was a non-issue, but nonetheless all baptizing came to a halt as the debate raged. And in the next chapter we read that Jesus pulled out of the area altogether. The argument over the right method took precedence over doing the ministry.
We have another interesting story in the fourth chapter of John. Jesus meets a woman by a well in Samaria and begins to reveal that he knows all about her. She says to him, “Oh, you must be a prophet! While you’re here, I have a religious question for you. We Samaritans say that you should worship on this mountain, but you Jews say that we should worship on the mountain in Jerusalem. Which is it?” Jesus tells her that both sides have missed the point. It is not WHERE you worship, but HOW you worship that is important. When your heart is right, location doesn’t matter. I believe we are often involved in arguments that totally miss the point. The point is not whether we all have the same interpretation of things, but whether we love
people. Can I love imperfect people; people who are different from me; people who look different from me? Am I committed to people and relationships, or am I willing to divide people over issues? Am I involved in ministering to people? Jesus’ disciples were shunning the Samaritans. At this point they could only think of how much more right they were than the Samaritans. Ministry came to a grinding halt. Jesus had to open their eyes to the harvest that was waiting to be brought in — a harvest, not of wheat, but souls.
Larry Crabb, a Christian psychologist wrote: “A central task of community is to create a place that is safe enough for the walls to be torn down, safe enough for each of us to reveal our brokenness.” The song from the TV show “Cheers” talks about the bar being a place “where everybody knows your name.” The idea is that it is a place where people care about you. In an article entitled “Lessons from A Tavern,” Chuck Swindoll writes: “An old Marine Corps buddy of mine, to my pleasant surprise, came to know Christ after he was discharged. I say surprise because he cursed loudly, fought hard, chased women, drank heavily, loved war and weapons, and hated chapel services. A number of months ago, I ran into this fellow, and after we’d talked awhile, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘You know, Chuck, the only thing I still miss is that old fellowship I used to have with all the guys down at the tavern. I remember how we used to sit around and let our hair down. I can’t find anything like that for Christians. I no longer have a place to admit my faults and talk about my battles — where somebody won’t preach at me and frown and quote me a verse.’ It wasn’t one month later that in my reading I came across this profound paragraph: ‘The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give his church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality — but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers. With all my heart,’ this writer concludes, ‘I believe that Christ wants his church to be unshockable, a fellowship where people can come in and say, “I’m sunk, I’m beat, I’ve had it.” Alcoholics Anonymous has this quality — our churches too often miss it.’”
May God, in his grace, help us to model what it means to be a place of authentic community where people are loved, encouraged and spiritually nurtured.
Rodney J. Buchanan
April 29, 2007
Mulberry St. UMC
Mount Vernon, OH
www.MulberryUMC.org
Rod.Buchanan@MulberryUMC.org
