Suffering Well
Stuff Jesus Changed, part 4: Suffering
Wildwind Community Church
David K. Flowers
April 29, 2007
This has been a terrible week for America, first in receiving the news about the deaths of those students and professors in Virginia, and then as we get information about the shooter and what a sick person he was, and how he went about doing the terrible thing he did.
Can I just be real honest with you for a minute? When something terrible happens in our country, my first thought is always how terrible it is. My next thought, without fail, is always, “What am I going to say to my congregation?” After all, some might ask me, “Dave, why would a loving God let this happen?” To which I would have to answer, “I do not know.” Some might say to me, “Dave, I don’t know if I can keep believing in a God who doesn’t stop things like this when he has the power to do so.” To which I could only say, “I can understand that. I have times when I’m not sure I can keep believing either.” Some might say, “Where was God when this was happening? I think maybe I might have some idea how to answer this one. We’re going to look at that particular question more next week when we examine loneliness. But today I want to talk to you about suffering.
Many of you are aware that at this moment, a former ministry colleague of mine, a 36 year old husband and father of two young girls, is receiving hospice care for a rare type of lung cancer. I was praying for Mark and his family the other day, when suddenly I stopped. And I began praying in a different way, and what I said really shocked me. I prayed, “God, I’m sick of apologizing for you when you don’t keep your promises. Your Word says in James that if someone in the church is sick, they should call on the leaders of the church to lay hands on them and pray for them and they will be healed. Yet time after time people get sick, they receive prayer from their leaders and sometimes hundreds of others, and they die anyway. And then in order for us to live comfortably with the contradiction, we make up a bunch of excuses for you, God. Like, “Well, he received his healing in heaven.” “I’m sure she’s happy and whole with God now.” Both of those things are true, but that’s clearly not what the text meant, and I’m tired of having to take that passage so metaphorically that it comes to have no practical meaning whatsoever.”
I tell you this because it’s important to me that you know that I do not preach lightly about suffering today. Personally I am in the throws of some anger and frustration toward God caused by suffering, some of which isn’t even my own – both Mark’s and that of the families in Virginia this week. God is just not acting the way I think he should act. Ever have times like that? I don’t tell you this simply for therapy – merely to vomit my stuff all over you. Heaven knows we all have enough stuff of our own, but some of the stuff we have is about what to do in times of suffering, and the doubt it sometimes causes in us, and the unique kind of suffering that doubt brings into our lives. I want to remind you this morning that we are all on a journey together. I have been angry with God lately, really struggling, and I think not only is that okay, but it’s okay to say it out loud. Maybe in doing that, some of you can admit to anger and frustration you may be having, and we can take another step in our journey toward being an authentic community of Christ-followers, who aren’t always sure how to follow, but who try to follow anyway.
There is an old fable that says the gold objected to the heat of the furnace and asked how long it should be expected to endure such heat. The answer was, "As soon as the refiner’s purpose is accomplished." "And when will that be?" asked the gold. The answer was, "When the refiner can see his own face in you." (Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows, Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997).
Galatians 4:19 (MSG)
19 Do you know how I feel right now, and will feel until Christ’s life becomes visible in your lives? Like a mother in the pain of childbirth.
Galatians 4:19 (KJV)
19 …until Christ be formed in you…
Biblically, to live well is to live in such a way that Christ is increasingly formed in us – that his attitudes, character, and behaviors become our own. To suffer well, Biblically speaking, then, is to suffer in such a way that Christ is increasingly formed in us, to endure the fire of suffering until the refiner eventually can see his face in us. Makes sense, right? For if Christ is to be formed in us, and if Christ must be formed in us while we live, and if suffering is part of life, then Christ must be formed in us while we suffer. We cannot exempt ourselves from spiritual formation during times of suffering. In fact, if we exempt ourselves during this time, we miss our greatest opportunity for Christ to be formed in us. William Wordsworth once said, “A deep distress has humanized my soul.” I have to believe that is what Jesus wants for us – he wants to humanize our souls. He wants us to learn humility and grace and compassion and gentleness, and so many of those things are learned best in the fire of suffering. Folks, hear me here. I’m not saying God takes away our loved ones so we learn these lessons, or that God sends diseases to our bodies for that purpose – only that, whatever happens in this life, Christ is to be formed in us through it. That is the overarching purpose of our lives – for Christ to be formed in us.
The series we’re in right now is called Stuff Jesus Changed, and I believe Jesus changed suffering. I believe that because of how Jesus approached and endured, and yes, eventually triumphed over suffering, you and I can suffer better, suffer differently, than we could have otherwise. Sounds strange, right, to talk about suffering better? Really it makes sense, because the fact is that suffering will come to everybody in this life – Christian, non-Christian, rich, poor, attractive, ugly – none of us will escape it. So the question when it comes to suffering is not whether we will suffer, it’s how will we respond when our time comes. Thomas A’ Kempis said, “He who knows how to suffer will enjoy much peace. Such a one is a conqueror of himself and lord of the world, a friend of Christ and an heir of heaven.”
James chapter 1, verses 2-4 is our text for today.
James 1:2-4 (MSG)
2 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
3 You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
4 So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
Let us begin looking at the text by noticing what is not there. I talk to a lot of hurting people and do you know what I believe is the most common tendency hurting people have, especially hurting people who are Christians? 1) The most common tendency among hurting Christians is to try to figure out a reason why God is letting this happen. “Maybe God let this happen so that my husband would learn this or that.” “Maybe this is happening so that I didn’t move all the way out here for nothing.” “Maybe this is God’s way of getting me to spend more time with my family.” This is not only a common tendency, it is a natural tendency, even among those who are not Christians. But do you know why it’s natural? It is natural because we live in a country where we have learned to see ourselves at the center of the universe. Now I want to be very gentle here, because as I said, the majority of hurting people I have seen are asking this question. I’m not trying to single anyone out or be hurtful – that’s the last thing I want. But I need to point out important truth here. This tendency we have to try to figure out every nuance of everything comes from an assumption that we are at the center of the universe. The cosmic tragedies in life must have something to do with us personally. Make no mistake, my friends, this is a modern phenomenon.
Individualism is a fairly recent thing – it came out of our universities in the 1960’s and gradually crept into popular consciousness, so that now it’s impossible for most people to see the world any other way. Unfortunately, this includes most Christians. Even as Christ-followers, many of us think that the biggest tragedies in this life must come down to us.
Now I want to be very clear. We have a great role to play in suffering, and there is a purpose in suffering that does intersect with our lives. But my friends, scripture has told us what that purpose is. The purpose in suffering is to give you opportunities to become more like Christ. The purpose in marriage is to give you opportunities to become more like Christ. The purpose in church is to give you opportunities to become more like Christ. The purpose in work is to give you opportunities to become more like Christ. Suffering serves the same purpose as the rest of life. This is actually very simple. So simple, in fact, that we miss it. For some reason (and I think it’s because we’re modern Americans, like I just said), that’s not enough. It’s not enough for us to know that we are to become more Christ-like in our suffering. We have to know EXACTLY why. SPECIFICALLY why. How does this relate specifically to my job? How does this relate specifically to my marriage, or my child, or my depression, or my anxiety, or my need for me-time, or whatever…
My friends, those are answers most of us will never get in this life. It’s a great thing if, during a course of suffering, we can learn lessons that will ultimately help us be better spouses, or parents, or friends. But the purpose in suffering is to make us more Christ-like. Period. Hurting people come into my office all the time absolutely driving themselves crazy with the particular whys, trying to knit everything into a story they can understand and believe and make sense of. But my friends, this simply drains the mystery out of suffering. It takes something profoundly wondrous and weaves out of it a little object lesson for our marriage, or our finances, or whatever. Make no mistake, when we are suffering, whatever life lessons we may learn along the way derive their value from whether we have learned to be more faithful to God, more trusting in his good intentions for us despite the pain we are in, and more willing to say, along with Job, “though you slay me, yet will I trust in you.” So we must stop trying to build object lessons and personal stories out of our suffering, stop trying to find specific whys in it, and focus on cultivating the two characteristics I’m going to talk to you about right now. Can we look at how to suffer well this morning? I’ll teach these to you, and then maybe as a community we can help each other to actually learn them and apply them to our lives.
We have read the text. We have attended to what the text does not say. Let us now turn to what it does say.
James 1:2-4 (MSG)
2 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
3 You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
4 So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
We’re to consider suffering as a gift! What do you do when you get a gift from someone? You thank them for it! 2) The first thing we are to do when we are suffering, my friends, is to develop a spirit of gratitude. That’s right, we are to cultivate gratitude when we are suffering. The person who can find a spirit of gratitude in the midst of suffering can find gratitude anywhere. This is not gratitude that FEELS thankful, but gratitude that has decided no longer to worry about feelings, and to just start BEING thankful. Joni Eareckson Tada was about 17 years old one summer day in the 70’s when she dived into her swimming pool and broke her neck. She has never walked since and has lived most of her life as a quadriplegic – unable to move anything below her neck. Joni writes:
God is a Master Artist. And there are aspects of your life and character-good, quality things-he wants others to notice. So without using blatant tricks or obvious gimmicks, God brings the cool, dark contrast of suffering into your life. That contrast, laid up against the golden character of Christ within you, will draw attention . . . to him. Light against darkness. Beauty against affliction. Joy against sorrow. A sweet, patient spirit against pain and disappointment-major contrasts that have a way of attracting notice. You are the canvas on which he paints glorious truths, sharing beauty, and inspiring others. So that people might see him.
My friends, that is something to be thankful for. We have already established that whether or not we suffer isn’t on the table – it’s gonna happen. How awesome, what an occasion for gratitude, to realize that our suffering can mean something. It can be redemptive not only for us, but sometimes even more so for others. “Consider it a sheer gift.” The New International Version of the Bible renders that “consider it pure joy.”
Notice that if we are busy insisting that God explain to us how this difficulty in our lives is going to help our spouse get their act together, or begging God to tell us what it means about whether we’ll ever find true love, or demanding that God give us a thorough explanation for exactly why he allowed this to happen right now, we’re going to miss the point! We always miss God when we are looking at ourselves. If you want to see God in your suffering, you must look not to yourself, but to Him. And you cannot look to God simply as a way of looking back at yourself again! In other words, when we say, “God, what does this mean about whether I should buy a new car?” we’re looking to God only to look back at ourselves again. We must cultivate gratitude in our suffering – gratitude that we can point the way to Him, gratitude that we can learn humility, gratitude that we know all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to God’s purpose.
Romans 8:28 (NASB)
28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Notice this does not say God makes all things happen, just that once they happen, he makes them work together for good. We may not know in this life exactly what that good is, but we do know one good, and it’s the good Joni wrote about – the good of coming to reflect God better, so that the refiner sees his face in us. Add to that the good of inspiring others, of helping others see that because of Jesus, we can suffer well. Suffering can be redemptive. I am angry right now, and frustrated with God, but God’s Word says suffering can be redemptive, and I have seen it be in the past. I know it can be again.
Verse 3.
James 1:3 (MSG)
3 You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
It is in suffering that your deepest beliefs about God will be revealed. It is in suffering that you will know whether you really trust God or not. If you find in your time of testing that you don’t know how to relate to God anymore, then suffering has revealed to you something extremely important that you couldn’t have learned any other way. This is to be celebrated, another reason to be grateful for where you are – though you may not be grateful for specifically what is happening. When I was diagnosed with MS in December of 1990, I suddenly discovered I couldn’t relate to God any more. He wasn’t who I had always believed he was. My faith faltered in a big way for quite a while. But that was a learning moment. Over the next few years as I reestablished my faith in God, I determined that next time I suffered, I would do it with more grace. And that is point #2 this morning.
3) We must not only cultivate gratitude in suffering, we must also cultivate grace. Websters says that synonyms for grace are tenderness, mildness, and gentleness. When you’re really suffering, you don’t usually feel very gentle, do you? We often feel a lot of rage, or frustration, or anxiety, or dread. I know I have felt most of those things a lot lately. Our insides are all twisted up and there’s a massive storm brewing in our souls. That is why, in suffering, we must cultivate grace. We must learn to suffer graciously. More words from Thomas A’ Kempis:
Accept suffering graciously. When you have reached such a point, all misery will seem sweet and you will relish it for Christ’s sake and think that you have discovered paradise on earth. As long as you object to suffering you will be ill at ease. Accept it, and you will find peace.
I know this seems practically impossible, but it’s really not. Unfortunately, practice makes perfect! every time we suffer, we have a chance to suffer more graciously. And every time we suffer, it is an opportunity to us to ask God to help us learn to do it well. We must always pray this way. Suffering graciously is never automatic. It’s always something where we could lash out against God in rage or bitterness. I just showed you James 1:3. The NIV renders this verse:
James 1:3 (NIV)
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
In his translation of The Bible called The Message, Eugene Peterson often translates the word “perseverance” as “passionate patience.” Passionate patience! Can we learn to suffer with passionate patience? I’m not giving up, God, I’m not. I’m going to keep believing in you, God, and in your good intentions for me. I refuse to let this be meaningless, God, but I cling to your promise that you will work all things in my life out for my good, even if I never find out how you did it. Passionate patience. Not merely patience, like “Ho hum, it’ll pass,” but passionate patience, “God, I’m in this for the long haul. Bring it on, God. No matter what happens to me, Father, my life is in your hands I will trust in you.”
Psalms 46:2-3 (NIV)
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
“I’m with you, God. I’m not giving up, no matter how things look around me. I’m in this.” That’s passionate patience. That is the grace we are called to learn in suffering.
If we do these two things – if we cultivate gratitude and graciousness in suffering, we will suffer well. And what does it mean Biblically to suffer well? It means to grow more like Christ. Get it? 4) When we suffer, gratitude plus graciousness equals growth. And remember, Biblically, to suffer well is to grow into the image of God. Remember?
Galatians 4:19-20 (KJV)
19 …until Christ be formed in you…
This is what it’s all about. And that’s awesome, because it means that suffering is not about sticking it out until you have answers to all your whys. It’s not about hardening your heart and just getting through it. It’s not about learning how strong you are and that you can handle anything. It’s about a process you enter into, where Christ is formed in you. And I affirm today that in my anger and frustration and disappointment with God, it is still my desire to be like Jesus.
One frustrated oppressor of Christianity in the former Soviet Union once said, "Religion is like a nail. The harder you hit it the deeper it goes into the wood." Suffering is taking the big hits in life – the things that knock us for a loop and make us appear to be down for the count. But because of Jesus, we can be like nails. The harder we get hit, the deeper we can go into the wood. The wood of the cross of Christ, where he suffered for us in ways we’ll never understand. Suffering gives us a chance like we never get at any other time to let Christ be formed in us. So let us learn to suffer with gratitude and grace. If we practice these two things, we will surely reap the reward of growth, as Christ is formed in us.
Will you pray with me? Sovereign God, I know I am not alone today in my anger and frustration – that there are others who are struggling too, perhaps for different reasons, or some of the same ones. God, you don’t act the way we think you should act sometimes. We see signs of your presence all around us and we thank you and praise you for those things, and then suddenly something happens that is so horrible that it causes us to rethink everything we thought we knew about you.
Father, I pray that you would keep us sensitive and open to you. May we not be hardened by suffering, but instead humbled by it. Jesus, you suffered and the Father didn’t shield you from it – yet you were faithful to the end. May we be found faithful when suffering comes to us. Holy Spirit, draw us close to you. Amen.
