Ronald Meridith described in Hurryin’ Big for Little Reasons a quiet evening when he heard the sound of wild geese approaching in flight. He noticed the tame geese on his pond. “They heard the wild call they had once known. The honking… sent little arrows of prompting deep into their wild yesterdays. Their wings fluttered a feeble response. The urge to fly – to take their place in the sky for which God made them – was sounding in their feathered breasts, but they never raised from the water. The matter had been settled long ago. The corn of the barnyard was too tempting! Now their desire to fly only made them uncomfortable. Temptation is always enjoyed at the price of losing the capacity to fly.”
You and I struggle with temptation. We too often yield and the result is that we surrender our ability to rise to the heights for which God made us.
I’m not addressing you here as one who’s mastered it, but one who struggles, as you do.
All people everywhere face temptation many times every day. For one example, consider the lust for sexual pleasure through pornography. The porn industry generates $57 billion annually world-wide. $12 billion of that in the US. The revenue is larger than money from all pro football, baseball & basketball franchises combined.
There are 4.2 million pornographic websites (12% of all websites). This includes
100,000 websites dedicated to illegal child pornography.
20% of men admit to accessing porn at work. 13 % of women admit to the same.
47% of Christian men say porn is a problem at home.
9.4 million women access porn sites monthly. (Statistics from xxxchurch.com)
But there are many other ways we’re tempted. There are other forms of sexual temptation. You may be tempted to over-indulge in food, alcohol, or to use other substances. You may be tempted to waste time in useless activities when important things need your attention.
Perhaps you struggle with the temptation to sin with your words; in the kinds of jokes and stories you tell, in moments of anger, or destroying another with lies or gossip or slander.
Maybe you’re tempted to swell with pride because you’re so rarely tempted, and it’s even more rare that you give in and sin.
What temptation troubles you?
When tempted, we generally respond in one of two ways expressed in two familiar slogans: “Just Do It” or “Just Say No.” You know that the first is easier than the second. Oscar Wilde (the British writer) said, “I can resist anything – except temptation.”
God’s Word gives hope & help, assuring us that we can fight and win.
When Jesus gave a simple lesson on how to pray, He said our praying should include, “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…”
Notice He did not pray, “deliver us from temptation.” That’s because temptation is not what separates us from God and brings consequences. It’s how we respond to the temptation that makes the difference.
That’s where we need help; how to handle the temptations that inevitably present themselves.
To do that I want to help you share five principles that can be applied to most any temptation you face.
1. Pray for Purity.
I frequently use the Lord’s Prayer as the outline for my prayer time. One day while asking God to help me overcome specific kinds of temptation, it occurred to me the Bible instructs us to face this struggle in two ways. So I began praying for the courage to stand & wisdom to flee.
Courage to Stand:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you." (James 4:7-8a, NIV)
A few years ago, Sharon and I spent a few days at Triple Creek Ranch near Galena, IL. It’s a retreat center for ministry couples. We enjoyed long walks through some parts of the ranch, and drove through some more remote areas.
In one section there were a number of Llamas. It was interesting to see how they behaved when they saw our car coming down the lane. They raised their heads high and walked straight toward us, even blocking our path. We weren’t sure if they were just curious or trying to pick a fight. But we did feel safer staying inside the car.
I recently read about Lexy Lowler, a sheep rancher out west. Coyotes were killing here lambs. She tried everything but nothing stopped them. Finally she discovered the llama.
She said, “Llamas don’t appear to be afraid of anything. When they see something, they put their head up high and walk straight toward it. That is aggressive behavior as far as the coyote is concerned, and they won’t have anything do to with that…. Coyotes are opportunists, and llamas take that opportunity away.”
Llamas illustrate our posture in response to the devil: "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion [or sneaky coyote] looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith…" (1 Peter 5:8-9a, NIV)
Sometimes we need the courage to stand and resist. Sometimes we need…
Wisdom to flee:
Though a llama can stand her ground against a coyote, a lamb should probably try that. Someone has said, “There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”
An old southern preacher told his congregation how to escape temptation; “When your lookin’ at your neighbor’s watermelon patch, you can’t keep your mouth from waterin’ but you sure can run!”
Paul said something like that to Timothy: "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Tim 2:22, NIV)
Notice that you’rr not just running from evil. You’re running toward God.
In his earlier letter to Timothy, Paul wrote: "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." (1 Tim 6:10-11, NIV)
To his friends in Corinth, Paul said, "Flee from sexual immorality… Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" (1 Cor 6:18-19, NIV)
Johnny Cash talked of the value of prayer in his battle with drugs and the freedom he found: “Every once in a while I meet a youngster who knows I used to be a drug addict, as he is now. He asks what he can do to kick the habit. I tell him what I’ve learned: ‘Give God’s temple, your body, back to Him. The alternative is death.’”
God has promised strength to fight temptations of the evil one. Call on Him for strength to stand and wisdom to flee.
2. Prioritize what you value.
Knowing what’s important to you helps you deal with temptation. Do you really want this immediate gratification at the cost of long-term satisfaction?
This week I spoke with a friend who told me how his 22 year-old son short-circuited his dream career when he lost his temper and assaulted an associate. The young man continues to bounce from one job to another about every 6 weeks because he chooses whatever release he gains through outbursts of anger, rather than choosing goals of higher value.
Some of us forfeit the more satisfying goals of good health and plenty of energy because we choose the immediate gratification of too much of the wrong kinds of food.
Some of us sacrifice financial freedom and security because we impulsively pull out the credit card or checkbook for whatever strikes our fancy at the moment.
What’s really important to you? The temporary pleasure you’ll feel if you yield to the temptation of the moment, or something of greater and lasting value? Values like a clear conscience before God and your family, the joy of winning and doing what you know is right, or the satisfaction that comes with reaching a goal or fulfilling the purpose for which God created you instead of the distorted priorities of the devil.
As you look at what you value, ask: what do I stand to lose by going God’s way? Then ask, what do I stand to lose by going Satan’s way?
Just imagine: How would I explain my actions to my boss? What would I say to my spouse or my children? What would I say if Jesus were standing here beside me?
We sometimes think, “I’m terrible at resisting temptation.” The fact is we’re all very good at resisting temptation – in some forms – and very poor at resisting others.
Some temptations that give others such trouble don’t bother you because they have to do with areas of life where your values are very clear. There is something or someone so important to you and because of what you gain or stand to lose, that issue doesn’t tempt you.
For example; you’d never tell a lie because you value integrity and a good reputation, and you won’t risk losing that.
But another person who often lies isn’t tempted to use or abuse illegal substances because they value their freedom and health, and won’t risk losing those.
Strong values on a matter help us resist temptations. The result is that the enemy doesn’t waste his time there anymore. He pushes the buttons you do respond to. That’s where we need to work at prioritizing values.
3. Plan a strategy.
This includes three components:
a. Identify situations that trigger a temptation.
When are you most vulnerable?
Is it when you’re bored? When you’re lonely or isolated? Under stress? Discouraged or depressed? Feeling unappreciated or full of self-pity? When you’re frustrated or angry?
Where are you most vulnerable?
At the video store, the theater, a party, with certain friends?
Notice what people you’re with when you fall, what situations, places, feelings. These are triggers and you need to know when, where, why you’re most vulnerable so you can…
b. Take precautions to avoid those situations.
I purchased and installed a filter for our computer at home because of the kinds of websites that were opening when the children were surfing the web or doing research for school. It blocks certain kinds of sites. It requires a password to change the settings or to deactivate the filter. I won’t reveal my password, but will tell you that I chose one that puts Christ right there at the keyboard with me when I need to manage the filter.
If you have problems because you’re bored and have free time on Friday or Saturday night, and end up with a certain group of friends, then plan activities that keep you busy on those nights and away from those people.
Parents, help your kids by moving the computer or TV where they’re in full view of more public spaces in your house.
Some men who travel frequently will ask the motel clerk to disconnect adult programming from their TV, or have it removed from their room. Others simply set pictures of their wife and kids on the TV.
The idea here is that when you know your weakness, you do what you can to remove the source of temptation or safeguard against it. Take whatever steps necessary to avoid the places, people, situations and feelings when you’re most likely to fall.
That point is made in “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson .
Chapter 1: “I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in…. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.”
Chapter 2: “I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.”
Chapter 3: “I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in…. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.“
Chapter 4: “I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.”
Chapter 5: “I walk down a different street.”
That’s what I mean by taking precautions to avoid the situations that trigger temptation.
But you can’t always prevent it. So…
c. Plan your escape when temptation shows up.
You’ve identified the situations, feelings, people and places you find most tempting. So think ahead. What will you do when temptation comes?
Guys, what steps will you take when it’s just you and her, and you start to feel desire for her that you know isn’t right?
You need to have plan ahead of time to…
• get your hands busy with something other than her.
• get in the presence of other people, or at least where you’re not in complete privacy.
• get your mind on something better.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things." (Phil 4:8, NIV)
There’s good news. Temptation only lasts a few seconds, if you get your mind focused on something else.
So what are a few good actions you can keep close by to reach for when your favorite temptation shows up? What are a couple things that will keep your vulnerable parts (mind, eyes, hands, mouth, feet) busy long enough to escape the temptation?
When temptation does strike…
4. Practice the strategy – immediately.
Don’t wait. Don’t save it for later, or for something really evil. Don’t see if you can get a little closer to the fire without getting burned. Don’t say, “I’ll just enjoy this thought a little longer.” What good is it to have a strategy if you keep it wrapped up for later? Use it now.
In Every Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn urges men to retrain their eyes to “bounce away” from visual images that stimulate lust. Many have found that a good habit can be formed in just a couple of weeks.
It feels good when find out you got it right. Last fall I was talking with my brother-in-law and he said, “Doane, there’s something I’ve been wanting to thank you for. Do you recall several years ago when we took our families camping in Ocean City? One afternoon on the beach, a very shapely young woman in a very small swimsuit settled in near us. I noticed that when you saw her, you immediately turned your attention to other things. Thank you for setting that example and encouraging me to do the same.”
I didn’t remember the incident. But it sure felt good to know that it’s a battle I can win, and there are benefits to others when I do.
I’m not saying I’ve mastered this thing of dealing with all kinds of temptation. I’m simply making the point that we need to have a plan and we need to put it into play as soon as temptation shows up.
There’s one more important principle for handling temptation.
5. Partner with others for accountability and support.
There are times we have to admit we can’t handle it alone. That’s when we can gain strength and help if we’ll share our struggle with our spouse, a parent, a trusted friend, a pastor, or a support group.
Many of the temptations and sins with which we struggle thrive on shame and secrecy. It can help to be honest about these with someone else. Trust the ability of others to love you in midst of your struggle. Let one godly person close enough who will build you up and support you in your efforts to live a godly life.
Some of our struggles – those we call addictions – may need the help of a professional counselor. There are people who are able to help you look at the psychological and spiritual dynamics involved in your battle, people who are experienced in guiding you to strategies for victory. If you’d like help finding such people, please talk to me.
If you’re not convinced you need someone like that, but know you need to talk with someone willing to love you and help you, please talk to me or someone else you trust.
The battle you face with temptation is a battle Christ wants to help you win. Look at this: “Remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.” (1 Cor. 10:13, NLT)
Pray
