Genesis 16
Sunday Morning Bible Study
February 18, 2007
Introduction
God has made promises to Abram. In Gen. 12:2, God promised to make Abram a “great nation”. We saw last week in Gen. 15:4 that God promised that “one will come from your own body” and that Abram would have so many descendants that they would be like the stars in heaven.
So what do you do when you think you have an idea of what God wants for you, but it hasn’t happened yet?
Do you keep waiting? Do you take matters into your own hand? Just how long do you keep waiting for God to do something?
Abram’s been waiting for ten years since God promised.
:1 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar.
If Abram and Sarai were from Ur (modern Iraq), then where did Sarai get an Egyptian maidservant?
She got her on their trip to Egypt. This was the trip that brought so much trouble when Abram insisted on telling everyone that Sarai was his sister.
:2 So Sarai said to Abram, "See now, the LORD has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her." And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.
This is the first instance of a “righteous” man breaking God’s pattern for marriage.
Jesus taught on marriage in Matthew 19 and used Adam and Eve as a pattern God originally intended all marriages to be like.
Jesus’ point was to prove that God intended marriage to be permanent – “What God has joined together, don’t let any man tear apart”.
The pattern of the first marriage was also one of monogamy – one man and one woman.
There have been other instances of men having multiple wives, but they weren’t the “good” guys.
Abram’s son Isaac will stay monogamous, but his grandson Jacob will have four wives.
There are cults that will look at these patriarchs and say that they are the pattern for marriage. Joseph Smith leaned heavily on the example of Abraham and Jacob when he brought polygamy into Mormonism.
I shall obtain children by her – the custom of the day allowed for a childless woman to do exactly what Sarai is doing. According to custom, if the child is accepted by Abram, this son could be considered Sarai’s child. The problem is, God doesn’t always follow man’s customs.
God had promised that Abram would have an heir “from his own body” (Gen. 15:4). Technically, having a child through Hagar would qualify, right???
I don’t want to be crude and give you the impression that all men think about is sex, but here is Abram being told by his seventy-five year old wife to have sex with this younger woman. I think that for some guys, this doesn’t sound like a difficult decision. It doesn’t seem that Abram took too long to think about his answer.
Abram heeded the voice of Sarai – Some fellows look at the trouble that’s going to result from this decision, and they will say that this is why a man shouldn’t pay any attention to what his wife says. That’s not the real lesson. Yet later on, God will tell Abram to pay attention to what his wife says (Gen. 21:12).
This is a lesson of not letting your wife be an excuse for not following God.
Lesson
Who runs your life?
There is a place for listening to the advice that people give us.
But nothing gets us off the hook of paying attention to what God tells us to do.
No one should be our excuse for doing the right thing.
Illustration
There was a prophet who didn’t do what God told him …
A young man from Judah was given a message from God to deliver to the king in the north. With this message, God gave specific instructions about how to travel, who to talk to, and where to stop. God’s instructions were very clear. The young man was to travel north on one road and come home by another road. He wasn’t supposed to stop and talk to anyone else, he wasn’t supposed to stop for a bite to eat, he was just supposed to give his message and get out. But after giving the king the message, another “prophet” wanted to spend some time with the young man…
(1 Ki 13:15-19 NKJV) Then he said to him, "Come home with me and eat bread." {16} And he said, "I cannot return with you nor go in with you; neither can I eat bread nor drink water with you in this place. {17} "For I have been told by the word of the LORD, ’You shall not eat bread nor drink water there, nor return by going the way you came.’" {18} He said to him, "I too am a prophet as you are, and an angel spoke to me by the word of the LORD, saying, ’Bring him back with you to your house, that he may eat bread and drink water.’ " (He was lying to him.) {19} So he went back with him, and ate bread in his house, and drank water.
The story ends with the young man leaving after dinner, meeting a lion on the way, and being killed.
The lesson of the story is very clear – when God gives you a clear command, do it. Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what God wants to be done.
Abram can’t point to his wife and say it’s her fault. He knew better. Don’t make someone else your excuse. Do what’s right.
Lesson
God’s pattern for marriage.
Abram has a clear pattern of marriage to follow. Whether it was Adam and Eve, or Noah and his wife, the pattern of marriage from God was one man and one woman.
But Abram has seen the way the world does it. In Abram’s world it was acceptable to have multiple wives. And now his own wife is PUSHING this woman on Abram. Why not? What harm could come from it?
The custom of our day is that a couple approaches marriage like this: Guy and girl date. Guy and girl have sex. Guy and girl live together. Guy and girl have kids. Guy and girl decide to marry.
Beloved, this is NOT God’s way of doing things.
God’s plan for sex and kids is to wait until you’re married.
God’s idea is that sex needs to have a relationship built on trust and commitment, not just “love”. Many people think that they have high moral standards because they don’t have sex with someone unless they are in “love”. You’re cheating yourself. The right standard is to wait to have sex until you have the trust and commitment that comes with marriage.
The same goes for kids – God’s desire is for kids to grow up in a loving, committed family with a mom and a dad. That’s the conditions that allow a child to thrive.
If you are living together or having sex and you’re not married, you are in sin. You are not only grieving God, you are hurting yourself. Something needs to change. You either need to end the relationship, move out and learn self control, or you need to get married. That may seem like a hard thing, but it’s the right thing. If you’re ready to get married, let’s do it!
Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t do it the world’s way, do things God’s way.
:3 Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan.
Abram was eighty-five years old when he takes his second wife, Hagar.
:4 So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes.
Now that Hagar is pregnant, she stops acting like the “employee” and starts feeling like the “boss”.
In ancient cultures, it was a mark of pride for a woman to bear children. Women often found their sense of self-worth by having kids. The more kids, the more special you were. If a woman couldn’t have kids, she often felt worthless. Women with children could be quite cruel to the gals who couldn’t get pregnant.
:5 Then Sarai said to Abram, "My wrong be upon you! I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. The LORD judge between you and me."
Sarai is blaming Abraham for everything that has just happened. But whose idea was this anyway?
It’s one of those situations where the husband can’t do anything right.
Fellows, if you have difficulty understanding situations like this, I’ve found some secret instructions, written by a woman, giving actual, working definitions of some of the words women use at times like this. Pay attention!
Illustration
FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.
NOTHING (often given as a response to, “What’s wrong, honey?”)
This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
:6 So Abram said to Sarai, "Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please." And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled from her presence.
Abram doesn’t seem to want to get involved.
:7 Now the Angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur.
Shur – Hagar is on her way back to Egypt. The spring she stops at is over 50 miles away.
the Angel of the LORD – this is the first time we see this title in the Bible.
The Hebrew word for angel is mal’ak, and simply means messenger or representative. It does not refer specifically or exclusively to the race of spirit beings created by God to serve Him.
This person pops up about a dozen times in the Old Testament and is used to identify a specific individual.
He will appear to Abraham when Abraham goes to sacrifice his son Isaac on the mountain (Gen. 22).
He will appear to Moses from the burning bush (Ex. 3)
He’s the one who sends Gideon into battle (Judges 6)
He will appear to Samson’s parents (Judges 13)
He will minister to Elijah (1Ki. 19).
He will deliver Hezekiah from the Assyrian invaders (2Ki. 19).
(Psa 34:7 NKJV) The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.
I believe this is an appearance of Jesus Christ.
We know this person is “God” because when He appears to Moses in the burning bush, Moses records that it was “God” who was in the burning bush and it was God who spoke to him (Ex. 3:2,4,6)
As the “angel” of the LORD, Jesus was not an “angelic” being like Gabriel, but He was a messenger, one who was sent from the Father with a message.
It is interesting that the first time Jesus appears in the Old Testament in human form, he appears to a woman.
The first time Jesus appeared after His resurrection, He honored a woman, Mary Magdalene, by appearing to her first.
It might have been a woman, Sarai, who started all this trouble, but it’s a woman who also gets the first glimpse of Jesus.
And like the Good Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to search for the lost sheep, Jesus hunts down this gal who is running away from the family of faith.
:8 And He said, "Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?" She said, "I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai."
Note that the Angel doesn’t call Hagar “Abram’s wife”, but “Sarai’s maid”.
:9 The Angel of the LORD said to her, "Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand."
Hagar wasn’t allowed to “quit” her job, even when her boss was a total jerk. She was asked to go back and submit.
:10 Then the Angel of the LORD said to her, "I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude."
:11 And the Angel of the LORD said to her: "Behold, you are with child, And you shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, Because the LORD has heard your affliction.
Ishmael – Yishma‘e’l – “God will hear”
For Hagar, she will be reminded that God has heard her in her difficult times.
Abram and Sarai would also be reminded that God hears. They might get to thinking they should have asked God for help instead of taking things into their own hands.
:12 He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, And every man’s hand against him. And he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren."
The Angel prophecies that Ishmael and his descendants would be trouble makers.
Ishmael was the father of the Arabs. The Muslims regard themselves as the descendants of Ishmael.
The Arab-Israeli conflict that continues to rage in the Middle East comes from this very chapter.
Without Jesus, the Arab people have brought much heartache to the world. Yet when an Arab person gives their heart to Jesus Christ, they too find God’s love and peace, just like you and I have found. A few weeks back I was at a meeting where the Arab pastor of the First Baptist Church of Bethlehem was speaking – what a wonderful brother, what a wonderful heart for the Lord.
Instead of getting angry with the Arab folks, perhaps we ought to be spending more time praying for them and asking God for ways to reach them for Jesus.
:13 Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?"
Lesson
God sees you too
It doesn’t matter what got you into the trouble you might be in today, God sees you. God cares for you.
God didn’t look at Hagar as the “bad guy”. He looked at her with compassion.
He even chased her down to bring her back.
:14 Therefore the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; observe, it is between Kadesh and Bered.
The place name means “Well of the Living and Seeing”
:15 So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram named his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael.
Abram gives the child the name that Hagar was told to give the boy.
:16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.
Lesson
Making it happen.
The big lesson in this chapter is about how I get things done.
Paul wrote:
(Gal 3:3 NKJV) Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?
Sarai and Abram just couldn’t see how this spiritual promise of God was going to happen. They’d been trying to make babies for years, and still no kids.
There is nothing wrong with using human effort to fulfill God’s promises, as long as God is the one directing it.
When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt, they found themselves pinned between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army.
(Exo 14:15 NKJV) And the LORD said to Moses, "Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward.
There was a time to get up and move. But it was also clearly directed by God.
How do I know I’m led by the Spirit or by my flesh?
(Gal 5:19-23 NKJV) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, {20} idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, {21} envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. {22} But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, {23} gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Am I doing “fleshy” things or “Spirit” things? Can you tell which category Abram and Sarai operated under in this chapter?
I’m learning that if something doesn’t happen right away, it might not be a bad thing. Abram and Sarai are going to have to wait another thirteen years. But it is going to be worth the wait. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.
