Introduction: Today is Father’s day, the day we set aside to honor our Fathers. I appreciate the opportunity to be here today and celebrate Father’s Day with my own father, which is something I haven’t been able to do for several years. If you will allow me just a moment of personal privilege I want to publicly thank my father for his love and support throughout my life. My father taught me many things as a child. He taught me how to throw a ball, how to hunt and fish, how to plant a garden, how to change the oil in my car, but most importantly he taught me love God and to love my family. He set a good Christian example for me to follow and for this I will be eternally thankful. Thanks Dad, I love you.
Have your children ever talked you into buying them something, even though you knew better? Well that’s what happened to one mother who let her children talk her into getting a hamster They promised to take care of their pet; to make sure it had food and water; and clean its cage. So she gave in and bought it. They decided to name the Hamster “Danny.”
Within two months, though, the mother was the only one taking care of Danny. One day Mom decided enough was enough; Danny had to go. She called the kids together to tell them her decision. One child said, “I’ll miss him. He’s been around here a long time.” The other child remarked, “Maybe he could stay if he ate less and wasn’t so messy.” Mom was firm, “It is time to take Danny to a new home.”
“Danny?” the kids screamed, “Oh no, we can’t get rid of Danny, We thought you said Daddy.”
Sometimes I think being a good father is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. I’m sure I’m not the only one here this morning that feels that way. So I want to take a few minutes today to talk to those of you who are Fathers, especially those of you who still have children in your home. However, even though this message is a Father’s day message that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply to those of you who aren’t fathers. Because the Biblical principles that I will be sharing with you about godly fathers would be good for all of us to remember and put into practice in our own lives, even if you don’t have children or grandchildren. You see there are people in your sphere of influence that God wants and expects you to have an impact on. So I hope you will pay careful attention to what I have to share with you this morning.
Someone once said, “As the Family goes, so goes the nation.” Which I certainly believe is true. But I want to add even more meaning to that statement this morning by saying that, “As the Father goes, so goes the family.”
Twenty-Five years ago, Christian Author and writer James Dobson said, “The Western world stands at a great crossroads in its history. It is my opinion that our very survival as a people will depend upon the presence or absence of masculine leadership in millions of homes… I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to the preservation of the family.”
All you have to do is look around you today to know that Dobson was right, and that things have gotten much worse now than they were 25 years ago.
For the first time in history experts are saying that 1 out of every 2 marriages performed this year will end in divorce.
With these things in mind I want us to spend some time thinking about the Biblical responsibilities of godly fathers. Let’s begin by reading Ephesians 6:1-4.
The invitation had barely started when a pastor noticed a 7 year old girl named Carol start down the aisle. He could see that she was crying, so as took her by the hand he leaned over and asked her what was wrong. She said, “I’ve been praying every night for God to bring my daddy back. I just don’t understand why he left us. I just want him to come home.”
Carol is not alone. Unfortunately more and more mothers are being forced to rear their children by themselves. In 1960, only 5 percent of the children in the United States lived exclusively with their mothers. By 1990 that figure had risen to 25 percent. Sociologists tell us that 40 percent of all the children born between 1970 and 1984 spent much of their childhood living in a single-parent home.
Some people would like to just dismiss these statistics as meaningless numbers. But I believe it is important for us to understand that whatever is causing the breakdown of the American Family is also tearing apart the moral fiber and foundation of our Nation.
The lack of morality and integrity in our society has reached epidemic proportions. One of the things that makes this crisis so dangerous is the fact that it isn’t limited to the government. Every facet of our society is being affected, including our businesses, our school systems, and even our churches.
Although there are many possible reasons for this crisis, one fact stands out from all of the others. A research team carefully examined and analyzed 11,000 crimes that were committed a few years ago. This team of researchers found no correlation between crime and poverty; or between crime and race. But they did find a strong correlation between crimes being committed by individuals who were living in homes “where no father was present.” A similar study reported that children from homes where no father is present are:
• 5 times more likely to commit suicide
• 32 times more likely to run away
• 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
• 14 times more likely to commit rape
• 9 times more likely to drop out of school
• 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison
I am convinced more than ever before, that if our Nation, our Denomination, and our churches are going to survive, then we must have more “Godly Fathers.”
The Bible gives us some clear guidelines as to what a godly father must do. This morning I want to take a few minutes to share some of those guidelines with you.
I. First We as fathers must make time for our children.
Dr. James Dobson, The Founder of Focus on the Family reported a few years ago that a team of researchers wanted to learn how much time middle-class fathers spend playing and interacting with their small children. The first thing the researched did was ask a group of fathers to estimate the amount of time they spend interacting with their infant children each day. The average reply from the fathers was fifteen to twenty minutes. To verify these claims, the investigators then attached microphones to the shirts of the children so they could record the voices of the fathers talking to their children. The results of this study were shocking: The average amount of time spent by these middle-class fathers with their small children was 37 seconds per day! Their direct interaction was limited to about 3 encounters daily, lasting between 10-15 seconds each." Now I certainly hope that that study isn’t the norm, but it is troubling to consider that some fathers spend very little time with their children.
Now I know we are all busy, and after working all day you may not feel like spending time with your children but it’s something that every father needs to do. I was busy working on this message Thursday afternoon and my 4 year old Leslie came in and crawled up in my lap and ask me to go push her on the swing set. I don’t know, maybe God was testing me to see if I would practice what I was preaching. But I stopped what I was doing and went outside and pushed her on the swing. When I came back inside to work my 11 year old daughter Leigh Ann said, “Dad would you play a game of chess with me.” I said sure, why not. I eventually got back to work on the sermon, but I knew at that particular moment I needed to spend time with my children.
Unfortunately some fathers still think like cavemen. They think it is their responsibility to provide for their family, and leave the child rearing to their wives. Which reminds me of a letter that Ann Landers published in her newspaper column several years ago. It was written by a father who didn’t spend as much time with his children as he should have. He wrote:
“I remember talking to my friend a number of years ago about our children. Mine were 5 and 7 then, just the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I wished that I could have spent more time with my kids but I was busy working. After all I wanted to give them all the things I never had when I was growing up.”
I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Unfortunately, most days I came home so late that I was only able to kiss them good night after they had gone to sleep.”
It’s amazing how fast kids grow up. Before I knew it, they were 9 and 11. I missed seeing them in school plays. Everyone said they were terrific, but the plays always seemed to go on when I was traveling for business or tied up in a special conference. The kids never complained, but I could see the disappointment in their eyes.”
I kept promising that I would have more time ‘next year.’ But the higher up the corporate ladder I climbed, the less time there seemed to be. Suddenly they were no longer 9 and 11. They were 14 and 16. I didn’t see my daughter the night she went out on her first date, or my son’s championship basketball game. My wife made excuses for me and I managed to telephone and talk to them before they left the house. But I could hear the disappointment in their voices, and explained the best I could.
Don’t ask me where the years have gone. Those little kids are 19 and 21 now and are in college. I can’t believe it. My job is less demanding and I finally have time for them. But they have their own interests and there is no time for me. To be perfectly honest, I’m a little hurt. It seems like only yesterday when they were 5 and 7. I’d give anything to live those years over again. You can bet your life I’d do it differently.”
The Latin phrase, “Capre Diem” which means “seize the day” is an important principle for Biblical Fathers to learn. Men we need to spend more time with our children, they need to know we love them enough, to put everything else aside and spend some time with them.
In our text, Paul said it this way, “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” In other words, we are to teach our children about God, and pass our Christian values and beliefs on to them. But in order for us to do that, we must spend time with our children. We must make sure they understand how important our personal relationship with Jesus Christ is. Sunday School and church attendance are important, but they cannot take the place of a godly father who influences his children 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
Men we really don’t have a choice. If you are a father, you have had, you are having, and you will continue to have a profound impact on your family. This is why the Bible urges you to use your time on earth wisely and provide a godly influence for your children.
II. Secondly, we as Father’s must show our children the Landmarks.
Men whether we want to admit it or not our children are watching us, the question is, “what are we teaching them?” Abraham Lincon said, “that for a man to train up a child in the way he should go He must walk that way himself.”
When the nation of Israel crossed over the Jordan river on dry land to occupy the Promise Land, God told Joshua to have the people build an altar made from 12 large stones, which were to serve as a sign or Landmark to them and their children. Joshua 4:6 says, “In the future, when your children ask you, ‘what do these stones mean? Tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.” These stones were to serve as a reminder to the Nation of Israel of God’s power and His provision for them as a nation. They were to remind them of how God had brought them out of Slavery in the Land of Egypt, and how he had provided food and water for them in the Wilderness. And finally these rocks were to remind the nation of Israel how God gave the Promise Land to them as their inheritance. Jewish Parents were to tell their children of the things that God had done for the Nation of Israel, so they would learn to love and respect Him in the same way their forefathers had.
Proverbs 22:28 says, “Do not remove the ancient landmark, which your fathers have set.”
We must not forget or ignore the wonderful spiritual heritage that we have been blessed with. We should also tell our children of the things that God has done for us as individuals, What He has done for our families and what He has done for our nation, so that they too will learn to love and respect God the same way we do.
As fathers we need to take advantage of the teachable moments that God gives us to share with our children about the things He has done for us. Which is what Moses encouraged the people of Israel to do in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 when he said,
“Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
We need to take advantage of the opportunities God gives us to teach our Children about God, and what he has done for us, our families and our nation. We cannot leave that responsibility up to the church. I was fortunate to have many good Sunday School teachers, RA Leaders and youth directors here at First Baptist. All of you were important to my spiritual development, but none of you influenced me more than a godly mother and father.
III. Finally I want to reiterate the fact that you as fathers have a far greater impact on the lives and attitudes of your children than you may realize.
I want to tell you about a Father who has made a tremendous impact on his son, despite having a spine disease that kept him confined to bed the last several years of his life.
One father’s day, this man received the following letter from his son: It reads:
“Dad, I suppose that all little boys think of their fathers as the strongest, bravest men they know. Certainly that is my recollection of my early feelings toward you. As boys grow, of course, fathers tend to shrink. I know that as an adolescent I was able to find and notify you of many flaws that had not been visible to me earlier.”
“I want to be sure that you know what you mean to me today. I know that in many ways your life brings you no pleasure. Each day, you face a body that gives you pain. For many years I have heard in your voice and seen in your eyes that effort you give to coping with that. And yet, you continue to cope. I choose to believe that you face your life out of love for Mother and the rest of us who love you. I don’t believe that you fear death, but each day you choose to face your life and its pain as a gift to us.”
I think of you as the strongest and bravest man I know. Whenever I need strength to face a challenge, I think of you and what you face and accept every day. That example that gift, helps me cope with my own much smaller problems. Thank you for the example of your life. I love you.”
I can’t think of anything a father would rather hear from his child, than these words, “thank you for the example of your life.”
Father’s I challenge you to live a godly life before your children. Teach them the great truths of the Bible. Let them see the spiritual disciplines that are a part of your daily schedule. “Be careful of the way you lead your life, because Little eyes are watching you.”
In our Text Paul said, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” NKJV
